Please Help Me With A Retort?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 02-23-2010, 10:18 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm normally pretty quicktongued, if I do say so myself, especially when it comes to something I am so passionate about as breastfeeding. In a recent conversaton with an acquaintance, however, I know I completely dropped the ball. Just for my own satisfaction, could I please have some advice about how I could have answered this? Here's the conversation as I remember it:
ME: Breast milk is the most nutritious way to feed the baby. And when she's hungry she needs to eat even if we're at the mall.
HER: Fine, but why not cover up
ME: I try to be discrete, but, yes, sometimes there's a short nipple siting while she's latching on.
HER: Well, even if it's your right to bf in public, othe people have the right to not see a naked breast if they don't want to. You can say that they should just avert their eyes but even a glance is too much for someone who doesn't want to see it.
ME: ***Mind went blank*** so I just intently stirred my iced tea. What should I have said????
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#2 of 12 Old 02-23-2010, 10:22 PM
 
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By the looks of your signature, you've got a lot of experience in this field!

What would I have said ... hmm, let me think.

"Then they can feel free to put a blanket over their own head!"

or:

"When you sit down to have a meal in public, do you put a blanket over your head?"

or:

"I'm sorry to hear that's how you feel about the subject, but the law and common sense are on my side on this one."

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#3 of 12 Old 02-23-2010, 10:28 PM
 
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So you're suggesting that "People" and "Cosmopolitan" be behind the counter so people don't have to see breasts?
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#4 of 12 Old 02-23-2010, 10:30 PM
 
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Oh, and ps: quite frankly the only time people see a nipple from a bf mama is when they're looking. Almost every single person realizes that when a mama has a baby on her lap and she's raising her shirt it's time to eat. Continuing to look at that point is a concious choice.
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#5 of 12 Old 02-23-2010, 10:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Katwoman View Post
Oh, and ps: quite frankly the only time people see a nipple from a bf mama is when they're looking. Almost every single person realizes that when a mama has a baby on her lap and she's raising her shirt it's time to eat. Continuing to look at that point is a concious choice.

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#6 of 12 Old 02-23-2010, 11:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RheaSilva View Post
HER: Well, even if it's your right to bf in public, othe people have the right to not see a naked breast if they don't want to. You can say that they should just avert their eyes but even a glance is too much for someone who doesn't want to see it.
Well last time I was at the mall I saw a lot of thongs and butt cracks sticking out of the tops of women's jeans and I didn't especially want to see that but it's their right to dress how they choose just like it's a woman's right to BF in public!

In all seriousness, there is nothing sexual about BF and by having that attitude she is just supporting the myth that it's something shameful and dirty to be done behind closed doors.
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#7 of 12 Old 02-24-2010, 03:44 PM
 
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I can't believe someone said that to you!
I avoid conflict and arguing, I wouldn't have a reply to that either!

Jen, mom of Alisha (09/18/04) and Luke (02/18/09)
Owner of Down to Earth Baby Gear http://www.cloth-diaper.ca Cloth diapers, baby carriers and More!
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#8 of 12 Old 02-24-2010, 03:47 PM
 
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You have to be looking pretty long and intently to see a breastfeeding mother's nipple/breast. It sounds like this acquaintance has never actually seen someone bf in public and are making assumptions about what they'd see. So my retort would be: Have you ever seen someone breastfeed in public? Then take it from there.

But I mean really...How many men are offended by seeing a woman's breast?? None that I know. And the women that get offended? Do they not undress in front of a mirror?

It's not the idea of 'seeing the breast' that bothers people. It's the newfangled idea of using breasts as something other than a sex symbol. That confuses 'em.

Since '05 just me and B, but in 2/08 E made three!
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#9 of 12 Old 02-24-2010, 06:52 PM
 
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I agree with all that was said I have a mil who is very against breastfeeding says she is for it but pushed my sil to ff and she did although she pumped for a year with her dd and not sure what she is doing with her ds.I plan to have a nursing cover and blanket also a moby wrap so I can be as well covered and I bought myself an awesome nursing tank for Old navy will get another after he gets here.I like the retorts that others came up with.Keep up the good work and don't let others steal your voice I let that happen with my first two when it came to bf and I refuse to do that with my 3rd.
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#10 of 12 Old 02-24-2010, 06:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by leaveit2beeker View Post
You have to be looking pretty long and intently to see a breastfeeding mother's nipple/breast. It sounds like this acquaintance has never actually seen someone bf in public and are making assumptions about what they'd see. So my retort would be: Have you ever seen someone breastfeed in public? Then take it from there.
That. I can't tell you how many people didn't realise I was bf and commented on how quiet the baby was.

If people are concerned they'll see a nipple then they should avert their eyes.
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#11 of 12 Old 02-24-2010, 08:46 PM
 
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I'd tell him that he doesn't have a right in a public place to be free from everything that might possibly offend him. Other people do things regularly that might bother you, and if you don't want to be subjected to them, don't go in public. I don't like seeing someone chewing with their mouth open, or showing plumber's crack, but I don't have the right to dictate their behavior.

Basically, it's a free country, get over yourself. I think of the best answers after the fact, though.
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#12 of 12 Old 02-24-2010, 09:10 PM
 
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I s'pose you're right, if God had wanted everyone to see then I would have been born naked
As satisfying as it sometimes can be to have a witty retort, sometimes the best thing to say really is nothing at all though.

>>Meredith&Alexander: I'd tell him ...<<

Not sure where the male came from in this tale. It seems most of the time someone brings up breastfeeding as something "taboo" that more often than not it's actually a woman that has taken issue with it.

I'm a man, I like women's bodies they are quite lovely but the act of breastfeeding is not sexual and not arousing. It's modern American culture selling sugary pop drinks with sexuality probably to blame for most of the overreaction to natural biological acts.

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!" - Dr. Seuss
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