Yanking/pulling--I'm about to quit - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 08-03-2010, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
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This is not my first trip to the rodeo. I have 3 other kids whom I bfed for around 2 years each. I have ample supple, some might say too much. I am used to demand feeding and being up all night night after night. I've certainly had bfing challenges, but none of them I felt I couldn't overcome. I have lots of support.

My dd is different. She is my last of 4 and I guess I kind of had this amazing thought of a great nursing relationship that last until--she wanted to stop, unlike my other kids whom I weaned when I was late in the next pregnancy.

First, she has no patience for the let down, which, frankly, usually takes about 30 seconds. So she yanks/pulls off my breast over and over again until the letdown. It hurts and she takes in alot of air. So, I started to hold her head gently against my breast. She struggles/struggles until the letdown and then finally starts eating. I've tried pumping a bit until the letdown--this takes alot longer, several minutes, while she cries and cries while doing so. W/4 other kids, it is not practical either to pump everytime until I let down.

Next she does this rythmic thing were she sucks-pulls-swallows over and over again throughout nursing. This also hurts me. She also pulls over almost every other suck, so if I nurse her on one side, she pulls off 30-50 times. My nipples feel terrible. So, I started gently holding her head there too.

Now she is 8 months old and she pushes herself away from me during this rhythem and she's strong. So, I now have one hand tucked under my arm, the other I'm holding back by my arm and the other holding her head. She doesn't like this. Neither do I.

I decided to stop this wrestling match and let her just pull/tug/hurt me for a few days to see if she'd "get it." That there was going to be no milk if she didn't stay ON and CLOSE to my breast. But that didn't happen. She just sucked in alot of air and my breast hurts so much that I cannot wear my bra.

I really cannot nurse her anywhere else but at home, since this battle ground is even worse in public. I've never had any issues nursing anywhere or anytime, so I am at a loss.

This is not enjoyable. This is not a loving experience, I think, for either of us. I am 100% doing this at my own discomfort and expense thinking that she'll get the nutrition out of it. But at the same time, I am so stressed out when it comes to nursing, that I wonder how much stress she is taking on.

Oh, have I mentioned that she doesn't sleep? No naps during the day and up almost all night, every night?

I've introduced solids, but no bottles...of anything.

Please let me know what I should do.

Married to love of my life! Children 6, 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 4 months
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#2 of 8 Old 08-03-2010, 05:01 PM
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I think 8 months is old enough for babies to understand - have you tried telling her that it hurts, and asking her not to do it? Treating it like a bite, perhaps? (If you pull we'll have to stop nursing for a minute. And then put her down?)

it sounds painful!
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#3 of 8 Old 08-03-2010, 05:51 PM - Thread Starter
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I haven't tried asking her, but let me tell you. She also bites--about 3-5 times/week. Now that she's 8 months, she has quite a strong bite, and my reaction, is usually a loud squeal/scream, followed by a very serious "no biting. Biting hurts." Again, you'd think she'd "get it" after this has happened several million times. I almost always stop nursing her when she bites (at least on that particular side) b/c now she can actually draw blood and it does really hurt.

I just don't know what to do. If I quit, I'll never forgive myself. If I keep doing this, though, I may have to be institutionalized...

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#4 of 8 Old 08-03-2010, 07:59 PM
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I'm sorry Mama, I have no good advice.
I hope someone chimes in with some good advice here.
My DD does something similar lately and both my nips feel so torn up.
She's too young to "get it", so I just let her until I can take no more.
For her, I don't think it's my letdown, but her trying to soothe hurting gums...and just playing around. She pulls and pinches with her hand and pulls and grinds with her gums.
I lay and let her until I just can't take it anymore and then we try something else.

Lovin my sweet babygirl 3-17-10love.gif and expecting anotherĀ in March! love.gif

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#5 of 8 Old 08-04-2010, 11:34 AM
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yikes! she doesn't nap...why? I think that if you can find a way to correct that, then your other issues might just fall into place. With my second, she was kind of like this if she nursed when she was extremly tired. made no sense to me, I thought she would be happy to nurse to sleep, but she fought me pulled off, screamed ect. With both of mine I liked to nurse around nap time (either before or immediatly after) since they were sleepy, they would be less distracted and more focused and relaxed. Otherwise, they didn't nurse well, and would bite a lot.

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#6 of 8 Old 08-05-2010, 04:11 PM
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That sounds really challenging!

I wonder if there were a block of time that you and the baby could go and be alone and maybe you might be able to figure some helpful things out.

One thing that I have to do regularly for my 3rd that I never had to do consistently with the others is movement during nursing. I routinely sit on an exercise ball and bounce when she's latching. She usually will settle into the nurse and we can sit down or recline after a min or two. If I'm out, I'll sway/bounce with her in the sling.

If her sibs are around, sometimes she won't settle and we'll leave the room.

I can only imagine how you feel each time to come to a nursing...I wonder if your concerns about how it will go may impact the let down too.

Certainly figuring something out and making a change may help everyone. Continuing with what she's up to doesn't seem to be working for either one of you! I wonder if meeting up with an LC or bf specialist might be helpful.

Good luck to you!! Hugs!

Amy, Mom to ds 2000, dd 2004 and newest dd 3/2010!
Breast Cancer Survivor since 2007
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#7 of 8 Old 08-05-2010, 05:11 PM
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With my 2nd ds, he is occaionally like this. He will nurse like that when distracted and he's pretty much distracted if anyone else is in the room. So we often nurse up in bed. He also nurses much better when just waking up. Ever since he was a newborn he would fuss when nursing to go down to sleep (very unlike my first who ALWAYS nursed to sleep). He seems more frustrated to wait for my letdown when he is very tired. So it's always helped me to nurse with him just as he wakes up.
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#8 of 8 Old 08-05-2010, 06:34 PM
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I know she's old for it, but could you try swaddling her? It won't help with pulling off, but it would help with her pushing away. Could also potentially help during sleeptime.

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