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#1 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Mamas,

I have spent a total of nearly 4 years nursing my two children. It has been 1.5 years since DD weaned. I am now 30 weeks pregnant with my third child and I am so excited to have another nursing relationship.
I am curious, though; have things changed? Everywhere I look mom's are using nursing cover-ups. Is this standard now? I never used a cover up and rarely saw other nursing moms use one; although I lived in a very off the beaten path, pro-nursing, natural-living liberal community. I now live in a very liberal place, I know most moms BF; but we are in a much less isolated place, much more mainstream. Has this been adopted as the etiquette standard? I have now received one of these as a gift. I guess I am not completely offended by the idea, but I also feel like I was doing just fine without it, and why change my habits when they worked so well for me and my nurslings in the past? I will admit I feel a little bit of the "just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean I am going to..." But...perhaps this is a good change...mom's who felt shy about nursing may be more comfortable now?

So, I am curious, do you cover -up? Why or why not?
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#2 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:23 AM
 
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Not generally, because:

1) It's too hot here (in the South)
2) A nursing cover is just one more thing to carry
3) It draws more attention to you
4) The baby always snatches it off anyway

I did cover up just with a flat diaper the other day when I was nursing poolside at my friend's house, but that's because I had to completely expose one breast (I was wearing a bathing suit so I slid the strap off one arm). I wear a G cup while I'm nursing, so I'm not comfortable with exposing my entire breast...the baby's head does NOT cover me up LOL.
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#3 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:26 AM
 
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I have noticed that as well. In about a month I will have my first child, and I thought a cover would be a nice, inoffensive way to bf in public... but can't find a wrap anywhere that isn't just disgustingly priced for a simple piece of fabric, yk? If I do cover, I will either make the cover myself or use a blanket.

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#4 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:26 AM
 
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Sometimes. I'm more comfortable using it because my LO likes to pop off and look around constantly.

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#5 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:35 AM
 
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Personally, I don't worry about it. If I'm "in public, meaning there are cameras or men(or older boys) around, I keep covered, but I use my headscarf to cover the top of my breast in those cases.

In someone's home, or at the masjid, or in a private place where there are only women, girls, and very young boys, I let whatever comes uncovered be uncovered. If ds is kicking or pulling cloth around, and its not bothering me(only uncovering me) then fine, I dont mind. I do find that some moms are a little weirded out about it(although they nurse their kids too) and don't want their kids to see me nursing, fine, then keep your kids away, I'm not going to help you on that one. But, really, if you dont like it, get over it, this is how moms feed/put to sleep/soothe their babies! I know of some moms who use the nursing cover in their own home, just for in front of their older toddlers, so they don't see it. Some find it horribly wrong that their daughter once tried to nurse her baby doll, even though mom(and all of mom's friends) nurses her own kids. I don't really understand it.

At home, well, DH, and I suppose DS, and myself are privy to full breast hanging out of a tank top, or a shirt pulled up to expose ugly (WAY!) post pregnancy tummy, and sometimes even both breasts, but thats home, doesn't count.

I do know of women who use these nursing covers as if they were a dire necessity, and I find it kind of funny, but I guess they dont wear as much fabric as I do. I also thinik its funny because they are using it to try to be discreet, but whoah, whats that giant black and white thing that neither matches your clothing and resembles a strange apron? oh, you're nursing! I don't like the shape or style or general LOOK of those covers, though the idea may be better, I mean, its a ton better than having moms think they have to "go to that in the bathroom!" but nursing covers are NOT for me. I'm more of a natural woman though, Boppy wasn't for me either, nor was pumping, I just do what I need to to get DS fed and happy

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#6 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:39 AM
 
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Nope, never. Not under any circumstance. I also won't leave the room to nurse. If I'm not welcome to openly nurse where I am, than I consider myself unwelcome and leave.

I think the nursing covers are more prominent just because there's a brand that got out there and was able to get a lot of attention. So now you can find nursing covers to buy all over the place.
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#7 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:41 AM
 
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I do with a blanket, but not one of those big, stiff sheet things with straps. Those things look awkward.
I also wear a nursing shirt if I'm going out, that way I'm not flashing my flabby belly to everyone.

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#8 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Amatullah0 View Post
I also thinik its funny because they are using it to try to be discreet, but whoah, whats that giant black and white thing that neither matches your clothing and resembles a strange apron? oh, you're nursing!
I don't think it's to hide the fact that one is nursing; rather, it's to keep breasts from being totally exposed, which makes some women uncomfortable, especially in a place with men.

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#9 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post
Nope, never. Not under any circumstance. I also won't leave the room to nurse. If I'm not welcome to openly nurse where I am, than I consider myself unwelcome and leave.


I don't cover up more than is good FOR ME and the BABY. Everyone else can go jump!

I'm in Scotland though, and my right to BF, wherever i want, is legally protected. I wear a J cup when nursing (yes, they do make bras that big!) and it's not all that warm here, so i usually wear a nursing top with a sort of flap i can lift and "post" my nipple through, but if i'm wearing a normal top i just pull it up. If i had to expose my whole breast i might throw a shawl over my shoulder - i have certainly done that when out in the sun to keep the bright sunlight off DD's head - but that's more about staying warm/not burning than discretion.

I kind of think if you're so shy that you'd ONLY nurse if you had a nursing cover, then they might be a good idea, but i also think women shouldn't HAVE to feel awkward about it, and i'd rather live in a world where nursing one's baby is a dignified and respectable thing to do than a world where someone has invented a cover to hide the shameful act of feeding a baby.
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#10 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:54 AM
 
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My husband made a few half hearted attempts to get me to cover up some, but my daughter would never allow it. Practically from birth something over her head meant no nursing. I suppose if I had been determined she would have come around but I never saw the point.

My Mormon cousin always used a gigantic cover that went from neck to waist. I think that was what she needed to feel comfortable, and it is way better than going to the bathroom when out or exile to another room in the house when home (she is extremely uncomfortable with any exposure, even to women in the family). If that's what it took for her to breastfeed then that is awesome. However I think we should resist this becoming mandatory for those of us who don't suffer from such discomfort or perceived religious restrictions.

In short, cover up if you want to, or if it works best for your baby, and not for any other reason.

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#11 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 01:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post
Nope, never. Not under any circumstance. I also won't leave the room to nurse. If I'm not welcome to openly nurse where I am, than I consider myself unwelcome and leave.
Amen!

Plus my DD would NEVER permit me to cover her up- that would throw her into a fit! MIL got into the habit of buying me these nursing covers that her friend made- the looked like aprons with a hard plastic bit in the top so you could look down ad see the baby. But the fabric was so obnoxious. It screamed- HEY LOOKIT MEEE!!! (I'm uncomfortable!!!) So I gave it to someone who otherwise would nurse in the bathroom. MIL bought me another one. I gave that one away too. She got the point after that.

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#12 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 01:53 PM
 
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I never used a cover-up, but I often wore a loose shirt or carried a very thin blanket, in part to keep my sons from turning their heads and looking at things with boob in mouth pulled uncomfortably.

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#13 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I kind of think if you're so shy that you'd ONLY nurse if you had a nursing cover, then they might be a good idea, but i also think women shouldn't HAVE to feel awkward about it, and i'd rather live in a world where nursing one's baby is a dignified and respectable thing to do than a world where someone has invented a cover to hide the shameful act of feeding a baby.[/QUOTE]




Well said! This sums up how I feel exactly. Covering up just doesn't feel right to me.

Interesting replies, keep em coming!
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#14 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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"I kind of think if you're so shy that you'd ONLY nurse if you had a nursing cover, then they might be a good idea, but i also think women shouldn't HAVE to feel awkward about it, and i'd rather live in a world where nursing one's baby is a dignified and respectable thing to do than a world where someone has invented a cover to hide the shameful act of feeding a baby."




Well said! This sums up how I feel exactly. Covering up just doesn't feel right to me.

Interesting replies, keep em coming!
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#15 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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The longer I nurse, the less I cover up; I did in public (read men other than DH present generally speaking) but never at home, or with just girlfriends or female family members. as DS gets older, he isn't tolerating it as well, so I may start with a cover (during latch) but if he tosses it off, I leave it off. It draws more attention to me, and draws DS's attention away from nursing, to keep fussing with it.

I nearly always wear a top with a cami underneath. top comes up, cami goes down, only thing exposed is just a little bit of breast, as DS usually covers up his face with my shirt. FWIW, I have G cup breasts, so I do like to cover as much of my breast as I can. but I do that even when not nursing (meaning I don't wear really revealing clothes in general)

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#16 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 02:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post
Nope, never. Not under any circumstance. I also won't leave the room to nurse.


Fortunately I have not had any negative experiences with nursing in public or in other people's homes. I just do it. Nobody minds, and if they do they keep it to themselves. Here breastfeeding falls under Human Rights.
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#17 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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I have never "covered" while nursing, anywhere. I think it's easy to notice women who are using nursing covers because they're so outlandishly obvious, but I'd wager there are several women nursing uncovered for every woman you see covered, you just can't tell they're nursing.

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#18 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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never, ever, no way do I cover.

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#19 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 04:53 PM
 
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I have no idea how you all are so discrete! Please share!

My LO pops on and off constantly, home or anywhere, to look around, and I don't really like the idea of flashing my nipple at, say, a sporting event. Maybe it's because I don't wear nursing clothes, idk. I'm definitely not a prude and I DON'T think women *should* cover up, but I don't want random men looking at my goods! (I don't even like when they look when I'm covered up! lol)

But I think people are missing the point of a nursing cover--it's not to conceal the fact that you're nursing. Umm, they're pretty loud, so that's out of the question. They're to cover up your breasts if you don't want to bare 'em.

eta: I have used a cover at baseball games and on an airplane where I had to sit in the middle seat with some guy an inch away from me, so, I'm talking about these sorts of situations.

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#20 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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I have no idea how you all are so discrete! Please share!

My LO pops on and off constantly, home or anywhere, to look around, and I don't really like the idea of flashing my nipple at, say, a sporting event. Maybe it's because I don't wear nursing clothes, idk. I'm definitely not a prude and I DON'T think women *should* cover up, but I don't want random men looking at my goods! (I don't even like when they look when I'm covered up! lol)

But I think people are missing the point of a nursing cover--it's not to conceal the fact that you're nursing. Umm, they're pretty loud, so that's out of the question. They're to cover up your breasts if you don't want to bare 'em.
I have found if anything men go out of their way to avert their eyes when they see i'm nursing. I have J's which are E-F when i'm not nursing, and i get a lot of looks. Nursing actually gets me a break from that, because (i like to believe) they are humbled by the REAL and TRUE purpose of my breasts, and realise their mindless gawking is actually immature and offensive. Or they find my nursing gross and don't want to see. Whatever. I am afforded some privacy and thus happy
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#21 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 05:19 PM
 
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I think you see a lot of women wearing covers because they're really obvious, and frequently not covering is discrete. But I do think that covering isn't about hiding the fact that you're BFing, but rather hiding your boobs.

I do a sort of half cover with either the carrier I'm using or a prefold. I don't cover her head, but rather cover up to about her chin. It doesn't REALLY hide anything, but it makes it look like I'm trying to cover, even if I'm not.

Mostly I don't cover. But I have small boobs, and she does a good job of covering me. I do sometimes sort of drape a prefold over my tummy if it is exposed!

I think if you want to cover you should, and if you dont' want to you shouldn't. Along with the right to not cover comes the right to cover.

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#22 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 05:30 PM
 
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I've never bothered with a cover. I don't think there's really a strong expectation that women use them when nursing (at least not yet).

I think we're seeing more of them because there are more women nursing (good!) and more women nursing in public (good!) and some of them are not entirely comfortable with the potential breast/nipple exposure that's sometimes involved. If you're not bothered by it, then there's no reason for you to use one
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#23 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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Never use a cover but I do not pop out the top so the top of my breast is covered with my shirt

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#24 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 08:36 PM
 
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I never cover up, unless there are special cirumstances and I don't feel safe or whatever. I might also have done it if I had easily distractible babies and they nursed more easily with a cover blocking out external stimulation.

I think that NOT covering up sends an empowering message to other nursing mamas who might be hesitant to NIP. I also think it says that there's nothing to be ashamed of and that it is right and normal and natural--not special or weird or wrong--to simply breastfeed a hungry baby wherever/whenever. Yes, even--GASP!--in public.

I do usually wear nursing clothes, though. A nursing tank and shirt over it, or a regular bra with a cami and shirt. This ensures I have one layer covering my belly and another covering the top of my chest. It's just for my comfort, though.

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#25 of 46 Old 08-11-2010, 10:50 PM
 
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I almost never used any separate cover. My shirt and nursing tank kept me modestly covered. When I was wearing a fitted shirt that didn't stretch enough to pull up and cover me well I'd use an extra prefold or the tail of my sling to cover the top of my breast, but not DD's head.

In the beginning I tried to use a blanket to cover once, but it was such a PITA that I fiqured there had to be a better way.

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#26 of 46 Old 08-12-2010, 12:36 AM
 
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sometimes but not often its too darn hot right now for one but I'll sometimes use a bit to get her latched on the no drives DH batty but oh well...

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#27 of 46 Old 08-12-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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I don't just let it all hang out, but I don't cover with a blanket or one of those over-priced nursing cover things, either. I simply cover as much as I can with my shirt. Sometimes she moves the fabric away from her face. I guess she doesn't want it touching her while she eats and I can't blame her. At those times my boob is showing but I just remind myself of what passes for advertising these days and get over it. Besides, ppl usually turn their heads if they don't want to see.

I once knew a woman who would pop out her entire boob to nurse her dd in public. I always admired that about her.

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#28 of 46 Old 08-12-2010, 01:14 AM
 
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Never. I do wear clothes that are easy to nurse in, but my breast has been seen by more people than I care to imagine. DS pops off constantly and when he does I just cover my nipple with my hand, but this is as much to keep milk from going everywhere as it is to cover my nipple.
My sis does cover up and it always gives her a chuckle when she's sees me nusing my LO absolutely anywhere. I've always been the more open and of the two, so it's not surprising. She's more at ease it she's covered... I just happen to be the opposite.
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#29 of 46 Old 08-12-2010, 01:24 AM
 
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I use one when I don't want to expose my breast , especially in close quarters or with unfamiliar men, and at church. However, I am practicing being discrete w/o a cover. ds is 3.5 months, and I don't have any role models to watch, so I've a steep learning curve on nip (I'm a nursing EE, pre-preg b to c, so lots of adjusting in general). I think it's great when mothers don't use a cover, and I'd like to be so bold (and organized) one day too
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#30 of 46 Old 08-12-2010, 12:00 PM
 
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I use one when I don't want to expose my breast , especially in close quarters or with unfamiliar men, and at church. However, I am practicing being discrete w/o a cover. ds is 3.5 months, and I don't have any role models to watch, so I've a steep learning curve on nip (I'm a nursing EE, pre-preg b to c, so lots of adjusting in general). I think it's great when mothers don't use a cover, and I'd like to be so bold (and organized) one day too
Here's a video I made of how DD and I NIP. I'm a G cup so maybe it'll help.

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

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