i thought BFing encouraged eye to eye contact - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 12-17-2010, 09:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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...but ds2 will not look at me! he stares at my shirt, with a "far away" look. i EPed w/ ds1 so he was bottle fed, but i can count on one hand the times that ds1 *didnt* do eye to eye contact.

 

now w/ ds2, i can count on one hand the number of times he *did* do eye to eye lol

 

i guess its not a problem, but i want to look him in the eyes when he BFs! rolleyes.gif


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#2 of 11 Old 12-17-2010, 09:34 PM
 
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DS didn't because of the way I needed to position him on the bobby with my large breasts. It would have been so nice though :)


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#3 of 11 Old 12-17-2010, 09:47 PM
 
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DS stared into my armpit for about 3 months. And he nursed for about 5-10 minutes per session (one side only). Not the loving-stare-dreamily-into-your-eyes breastfeeding experience I was expecting.


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#4 of 11 Old 12-17-2010, 09:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CookAMH View Post

DS didn't because of the way I needed to position him on the bobby with my large breasts. It would have been so nice though :)



I had this same issue as well and on top of that I just plain had to ignore her at the breast or kiddo would get way too distracted to nurse anyway... now I can give her some attention at 21 months but even still... she prefers to just do her thing and let me do mine.  Its really awkward but its better than her new thing of kicking me in the face (supposedly lovingly) when I give her attention hehe.

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#5 of 11 Old 12-19-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASusan View Post

DS stared into my armpit for about 3 months. And he nursed for about 5-10 minutes per session (one side only). Not the loving-stare-dreamily-into-your-eyes breastfeeding experience I was expecting.



This is my DS as well. It is actually only now he is near 8 months - and that much bigger...that he can look at my face and not my arm pit when he nurses.  And then, it is usually only to laugh at me - which is also nice in its own way! 

 

There is plenty of contact going on when breastfeeding though - even if it is not the 'eye to eye' kind!  The importance of 'eye to eye' contact when feeding a baby was really pushed/introduced when bottle feeding increased - because they don't get as a direct contact when being fed as a BF baby does. 


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#6 of 11 Old 12-19-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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If I look at DD (now 18mo) while she is nursing, she will actually push my face away, lol.  She likes to pull a blanket over her head too.  She did used to like to look at me when she was a wee babe, but not anymore.


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#7 of 11 Old 12-19-2010, 02:32 PM
 
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Hm. I don't remember whether my kids made eye contact or not.  My guess is that ds did not make much eye contact when he was still nursing because I did notice when he got bigger that he didn't like to hold eye contact as much as his sister had. 

 


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#8 of 11 Old 12-19-2010, 08:30 PM
 
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DD1 I bottle fed, and I felt so guilty about it I held her face to face for months at every feeding session. DD2 (ebf) looks at my shirt, dh, her Nana, her hands, my bra strap, the ceiling fan...

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#9 of 11 Old 12-26-2010, 08:30 PM
 
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I was going to post this exact question! DS is 8 mos and he hardly ever makes eye contact while nursing! He never did for the first 3 months, and now he will maybe catch my eye for a few seconds, but then he gets distracted. He stares at my armpit. I actually feel kind of bad because I don't even attempt eye contact anymore, so if he looks at me I won't be looking at him anyway.


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#10 of 11 Old 12-27-2010, 06:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASusan View Post

DS stared into my armpit for about 3 months. And he nursed for about 5-10 minutes per session (one side only). Not the loving-stare-dreamily-into-your-eyes breastfeeding experience I was expecting.



This is us too.  I remember exactly 1 session in nearly 5 months now that we looked at each other for a few minutes.  Now I'm trying not to watch him because if he does look up and sees me smiling at him he smiles back (so cute) and pulls off (not so cute).  He's also really distractable now so I have to cover him with a blanket often.


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#11 of 11 Old 12-27-2010, 02:40 PM
 
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You know, at least from these anecdotes it sounds like that's one less thing mamas need to worry about.  There is nothing wrong if your baby doesn't gaze into your eyes when nursing. Sounds like it might even be the norm. 

 

Staring into someone's eyes for an extended time is intense, and frankly it's probably uncomfortable for some people. Babies are simply people with preferences.


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