Breastfeeding in public? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 01:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
Calliope84's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I told my mom a story about how I was in a medical clinic waiting for DH to be done with his appt and I breastfed DD. I was trying to cover us up with the tail of my sling and stuff but we were both sweating, so I decided to just stop with it. I had pulled my boob out of the top of my fitted tee I had on and so most of it was showing...I felt so proud!!!! It was the first time I didn't feel self conscious about bfing in public. DD is two months now and my first baby.

 

So I told my mom this story and she leaves me a message today complaining about me and one of the things she said was that I was skanky / trashy for pulling out my boobs in public and no one wants to see my "big boobs" and I should be going in a dressing room or out in the car!!! (which is what she used to do btw)

 

I often do bf in the car and I will use a bfing room if provided (like at babys r us or the pediatricians.)

I sent my mom an e-mail with the Florida law for bfing and told her I would be breastfeeding any time, anywhere and that was the end of it. (I also sent her more comments than that. I am done letting her bring negativity into my life and family.)

 

Yesterday, I was at a friends house and a little boy kept coming into the room I was bfing in to look at some toys and his mother got embarrassed and said she understood I would want my privacy because she never felt comfortable bfing in public and when she lived in Italy she was always shocked because she would see moms just pull out their breasts and feed their babies in restaurants and such.

 

I told her that I was bfing in here just in case other people wouldn't be comfortable with it (lots of kids around) and that I thought that if I breastfeed in public maybe some other young moms will see me and think "Hey, maybe I CAN do that too!" She said "Hmm, I never thought of it that way. That's true."

 

My mom is very toxic (I have lots of threads talking about it), but I am wondering what other people do?

I feel annoyed that our culture is so backward that people might get offended seeing someone breastfeed!

 

I never see anyone bfing here in Florida and I think I've only ever noticed moms breastfeeding in public maybe 3 times my entire life. I feel like I kind of *want* other people to see what I am doing because we need more moms modeling this so people don't just assume they will be bottle feeding and see breastfeeding being done in real life. I don't *want* to make anyone else uncomfortable, but I do believe every mom who breastfeeds in public is doing a good thing, even if it does make someone uncomfortable because they never ever see it.

 

So what do you do?

Calliope84 is offline  
#2 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 01:47 PM
 
PatioGardener's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 5,041
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I breastfeed whenever my son needs to feed - doesn't matter where I am. I have a couple of great nursing tops and feel completely comfortable nursing in them wherever I may be.

 

Congratulation on breastfeeding in public and feeling good about it! clap.gif

PatioGardener is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 02:43 PM
 
Marissamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,543
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I've breastfed just about everywhere. yesterday my 20 month old wanted to nurse in the fabric store, and we sat down in one of the aisles and nursed there. I have used the nursing room if one is available and convenient, but if not I just find a place where we can be comfortable. I do try to be discrete though. until DD stopped constantly un-latching, I covered with a receiving blanket, and now I can keep us covered with my shirt. but it's mostly for my own comfort, rather than the comfort of people around me. 


Marissa, Partner to J geek.gif, SAHM to A (05/09)fly-by-nursing1.gif and I (03/11)stork-boy.gif. we cd.gif
selectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gifnocirc.giffemalesling.GIFecbaby2.gif part-time and familybed1.gif through infancy. planning ahomebirth.jpg
Marissamom is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 02:54 PM
 
GoBecGo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 3,596
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm in the UK.  I BF whenever DD wants to BF, wherever i might be.  I do not cover up - i usually wear layers or a nursing top so not a whole lot shows, but i do not use a cover of any kind and she is currently at the latch-unlatch stage (8months old) and i make no efforts to cover up when she does so other than continuing to hold her close.  My breasts are 36J.

 

I am not ashamed.  I am not skanky.  I am feeding my child. thumb.gif

 

clap.gifthumbsup.gif bow2.gif to you.  It must be much harder to do this in a place where it's so uncommon.  I see BF at least once a month, it's not so rare here, particularly as this city becomes more and more multicultural (since much of the rest of the world BFs without a second thought).

GoBecGo is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 03:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
Calliope84's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you!!!

 

Any tips for cute nursing tops?I like comfort above all else. I wear a sports bra with skinny straps and then a tank top and then a comfy t-shirt over that usually. Sometimes I lift the top shirt up and pop my boob out of the tank top and bra and the last time I just popped it out the top of the whole thing. I have a nursing tank but it is too thick and too short and not comfortable. I like jersey knits. ;)

Calliope84 is offline  
#6 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 04:40 PM
 
averlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,050
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Breastfeeding on demand is best for baby and also the best way to keep a good supply. With a baby only 2 months old, if you got in the habit of delaying feedings until you can get out to the car or whatever, that could negatively impact your supply. 

It sounds like your mom actually feels threatened, jealous, or resentful.  Maybe she didn't get the support she needed as a nursing mom. Maybe she knows she should have nursed you when you were hungry rather than when it was convenient for her, and that bothers her.

 

The idea that "no one wants to see your big boobs" is flat-out wrong. Your baby wants to see them, and who is the most important person in the whole wide world to you? Also, lots of people pay lots of money to look at ladies' big boobs, it's a booming industry, topless bars and strip clubs and if your mom has never heard of "lactation porn" maybe that would convince her. Um, yes, a LOT of people want to see your boobs!

 

And the "skanky trashy" idea, that's another flat-out wrong. In my church growing up, was a beautiful painting of Mary nursing baby Jesus. There are at least a dozen famous classical paintings, worth millions of dollars, showing mothers nursing their babies. If your mom thinks it's trashy, she obviously has no taste. 

 

I think you should get a "milk duds" T shirt to celebrate your success and confidence! I am so glad you are letting people see you nurse. I am proud of you. 

averlee is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 07:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
Calliope84's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by averlee View Post

Breastfeeding on demand is best for baby and also the best way to keep a good supply. With a baby only 2 months old, if you got in the habit of delaying feedings until you can get out to the car or whatever, that could negatively impact your supply. 

It sounds like your mom actually feels threatened, jealous, or resentful.  Maybe she didn't get the support she needed as a nursing mom. Maybe she knows she should have nursed you when you were hungry rather than when it was convenient for her, and that bothers her.

 

The idea that "no one wants to see your big boobs" is flat-out wrong. Your baby wants to see them, and who is the most important person in the whole wide world to you? Also, lots of people pay lots of money to look at ladies' big boobs, it's a booming industry, topless bars and strip clubs and if your mom has never heard of "lactation porn" maybe that would convince her. Um, yes, a LOT of people want to see your boobs!

 

And the "skanky trashy" idea, that's another flat-out wrong. In my church growing up, was a beautiful painting of Mary nursing baby Jesus. There are at least a dozen famous classical paintings, worth millions of dollars, showing mothers nursing their babies. If your mom thinks it's trashy, she obviously has no taste. 

 

I think you should get a "milk duds" T shirt to celebrate your success and confidence! I am so glad you are letting people see you nurse. I am proud of you. 


Awww thank you. I love your reply. Maybe I should get a Milk Duds tee LOL.
I really liked this a lot:

"

And the "skanky trashy" idea, that's another flat-out wrong. In my church growing up, was a beautiful painting of Mary nursing baby Jesus. There are at least a dozen famous classical paintings, worth millions of dollars, showing mothers nursing their babies. If your mom thinks it's trashy, she obviously has no taste.  

 

"

 

I am considering passing that on to my mother ;D Thanks!

Calliope84 is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 02-07-2011, 10:05 PM
Banned
 
catfood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 17
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Your mom is unkind.  Please don't listen to her.

catfood is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 02-08-2011, 05:51 AM
 
akind1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,225
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I bought DS "boob man" socks when he was tiny

 

When DS was very young - less than 6 months or so - I always covered. it was more for both of our own comfort, because he unlatched frequently, and it helped keep him focused. When he started tossing the cover off, though, I took the hint and stopped using it. Now we just nurse discreetly - I wear a regualr top and camisole, shirt up, cami down, everything stays covered. (plus it is winter and I don't get cold that way!)

 

My mom still tries to keep me covered, but mostly when my dad is around, because HE is uncomfortable. (strangely, neither my MIL or FIL are concerned about the covering issue) TBH I do often try to find an out of the way place to nurse, but that is for everyone's comfort, especially DS's. The car is not comfortable at all, IMHO.

 

props to you for being open and NIP. More people should!


Katrina - Mama to Gabriel  sleepytime.gif 11/20/2009 and Norah vbac.gif 10/11/2011- married to Wayne - geek.gif novaxnocirc.gifbfinfant.giffamilybed1.gifcd.gif&nbspand now new baby Theodore born 3/11/13 vbac.gif

akind1 is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 02-08-2011, 06:37 AM
 
ChelseaWantsOut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Posts: 177
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I nurse everywhere, and I haven't seen anyone else doing it around here since the nineties when my mom went back to college and started hanging around with hippies, haha.  I agree with everyone else - your mom doesn't know what she's talking about.  And I agree with you that it's important for people to see babies nursing.  I was nursing in a store a couple weeks ago, and a probably 9-year-old boy came up to us and said, "What are you DOING??" and I said, "Feeding my baby!  He's eating milk,"  and he said, "Oh," and wandered off.  It is bizarre to me that a child can get to that age and never have seen a nursing babe before.  You and I and all of us nursers-in-public are working to change that.  And hopefully we're lessening the sexualization of nursing mothers' boobs, too.  Lactation porn?  That is so creepy.  Rule 34, I guess...but somehow I find this creepier than Transformers porn.

 

Edit:  I've seen others nursing around here, but only at LLL and HMN meetings.


Me, DH, and DS (9/18/10), living in a multi-generational household (non-pathetic way of saying we live in my parents' basement).
ChelseaWantsOut is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 02-08-2011, 06:54 AM
 
mntnmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,835
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

First: good for you taking care of your babe! You know it's best, and I agree, Florida is a hard place to nurse in public!  Second: I'm sorry your mom talked to you that way. You obviously know how wrong she was. She's clearly very tied up in the breasts=sex thing.

   I am nursing #4. I remember how unsure I was with DD1. I carried a blanket everywhere and almost killed us both from heat stroke! I still try to respect other people's modesty. I make an effort to cover most of my breast, especially if I'm talking with someone. You're doing great!


Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
mntnmom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off