"Breastfeeding uncovered is undignified" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 10:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was talking to a mom today who said this. UNDIGNIFIED? 

 

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Wow...So apparently, we are uncover-upers are breastfeeding without dignity. Better go get that cover...

 

Sheesh.


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#2 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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Most people have a deeply held (won't admit) belief that bf is somehow sexual, I believe that to be the root of the various "modesty" arguments. When they see (or imagine) a babe at the breast, they aren't seeing a baby feeding, they are seeing

 

a person with their mouth on a woman's nipple.

 

Apparently they are unwilling or unable to take into account the age of the person, the relationship between the person and the woman, and the exact reason why the two are "doing that".

 

That reminds me, I haven't been to my favorite site in a while - here's a link to a site that is the antidote to mainstream anti-bf attitudes -

 

www.007b.com

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#3 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 11:58 AM
 
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That would be really frustrating to hear. I would actually have a hard time not making a snarky reply,
I'm going to move this out to the main forum since it's not a call to action.
500
So undignified.
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#4 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 12:07 PM
 
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Maybe it's undignified to be so concerned with what other people are doing.  I honestly don't get it.  If you have a problem with it, who the bleep is holding you down and prying your eyelids open??? Walk away and mind your business!!  And velcromom, love the site you linked to!!

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#5 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 12:36 PM
 
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I, too, love that site.  Thanks for posting!

 

Undignified.  I'm sorry, but I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from laughing if I heard someone say that.  It's moronic!


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#6 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 01:04 PM
 
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Isn't it sick that people think it's so shameful?

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#7 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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Hmmm. I don't really understand the undignified thing. Granted, I cover up when I have to NIP due to my own shyness/embarrassment/fear/etc etc. But that's my choice, kwim? Actually, I do believe if more women NIP uncovered, then maybe women like me won't be as worried about NIP as it becomes more normal to see. It really doesn't have much to do with dignity or lack thereof, imo.

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#8 of 27 Old 02-17-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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Cuss.gif Oh would I have lost it on that woman.

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#9 of 27 Old 02-26-2011, 12:35 PM
 
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I feed EVERYWHERE uncovered.  If my DD is hungry, I feed her.  Even if I'm just walking down the street (I've got that one down pat).  I just don't understand how people have this view - they're babies and they need to eat.  End of story.  I always figure that if I can pull out a granola bar and chomp on it anywhere, my baby can do the same.  I also wonder - would they prefer a screaming baby to having to witness a mother nurse?  Ridiculous!

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#10 of 27 Old 02-26-2011, 12:41 PM
 
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Nursing covered up is complicated. The longer it takes me to get a crying baby to the breast, the longer we all have to listen to it. *That's* undignified.

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#11 of 27 Old 02-26-2011, 07:21 PM
 
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i was at the peds office for a well baby vist this week and in a waiting area with my twins my dh and one other couple with a 10 day old infant. i was chatting to them about their questions about if spitting up was normal and letting them know i was in he same boat, we were having a nice chat. i started breastfeeding my 8 week old son, the lady asked, with a disgusted look on her face, for me to turn around. 

 

i said "why? im just breastfeeding"

she said she did not want her dh to see my boob (my ds was already latched on and with my nursing shirt barely anything showed)

i said "nothing to see, im just breastfeeding"

she said, "you know there is cover for stuff like that?

 

i then said very proudly, Yeah those are for ladies who want to use them or are ashamed, and I'm not BECAUSE I'M JUST BREASTFEEDING!"


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#12 of 27 Old 02-27-2011, 03:36 PM
 
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Good for the PP - and at the PEDS office for heaven's sake.  I love it I'm just BREAST feeding, you know.


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#13 of 27 Old 02-27-2011, 04:56 PM
 
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Undignified? Seriously? I can think of a whole huge list of things that I see in public that are undignified and breastfeeding is not one of them! I try to be modest, but mainly because my DH stresses out when I nurse in public and he thinks someone will see something. When I'm alone, I don't care as much!
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#14 of 27 Old 02-28-2011, 11:27 AM
 
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Staring at a nursing mother's naked breast, in hopes of getting a peek at her nipple, is way more undignified. Don't like it? Don't look.

 

I nurse everywhere and since I'm bra-free (I wear camisoles only), it's usually over the top of my v-neck or boatneck shirt. I've fed my babies everywhere from church to funerals to subway trains to city parks to airports to dinner parties...at the table! They're babies, they're eating, and we're mammals so my milk is what they eat. Anyone who gets offended by that should really consider seeking therapy IMO. It's not my job to cater to someone else's irrational neuroses.


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#15 of 27 Old 04-20-2011, 10:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Peainthepod...congrats, you're my new hero!


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#16 of 27 Old 04-21-2011, 04:45 PM
 
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Undignified? Forgive me for being coarse but...

I wasn't worried about "dignified" when I got pregnant with this baby, with my feet up in the air and my 3 yr old watching Barney way too loud in the next room.

I also wasn't worried about "dignity" when I squatted, shat myself, let sweat drip off of me, and tore my cooch pushing this baby out.

I sure as hell ain't gonna worry about what somebody thinks is "dignified" now that I'm just trying to feed my baby. At least I have pants on!

 

 

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#17 of 27 Old 04-22-2011, 09:10 PM
 
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You know what's undignified? A grown woman wearing a bib (aka nursing cover). That's undignified :)

 

Now, if it helps a mama nurse her baby when s/he needs it, then I'm willing to overlook it, but no one should ever think that it's their right to impose it on her.

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#18 of 27 Old 04-23-2011, 09:28 AM
 
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Reading stuff like this just makes me sad. How can naturally feeding your baby be undignified. What?

And if you can't BF comfortably in a Ped's office, then that's just silly.

I don't get how we are in this place in 2011.

 


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#19 of 27 Old 04-23-2011, 09:56 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miche28 View Post

You know what's undignified? A grown woman wearing a bib (aka nursing cover). That's undignified :)

 

Now, if it helps a mama nurse her baby when s/he needs it, then I'm willing to overlook it, but no one should ever think that it's their right to impose it on her.



No, I'm not undignified, thank you very much.  I have very large breasts and a very distractable baby and I don't want the world seeing my bits because it flusters me, stresses me out, delays my let down and makes my LO even crankier.

 

I totally respect those of you who feel covers aren't needed, but without mine I'd never leave the house.   And I think the OP is right in her frustration that some people believe a cover is required for the comfort of others, but please let's not turn this into a thread bashing women who feel the need to cover. 


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#20 of 27 Old 04-23-2011, 11:07 AM
 
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Amen, Heathyr. I don't understand responding to mom bashing with more mom bashing. Some moms are comfortable covering and they don't owe anyone an explanation. It needs to be about the comfort of the mother and the baby and breastfeeding, not about shaming and namecalling.
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#21 of 27 Old 04-23-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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KempsMama,

thank you for reminding us that it is a two way street, another thread on the subject did the same and i really learned alot about my unfair opinion on covers that i really didnt even notice i had. all women should feel free to nurse how and where they like to, no matter what that means!

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#22 of 27 Old 04-24-2011, 10:37 AM
 
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Wow, just read through this thread and I can't imagine how I would react if I were in any of those situations where someone suggested or told me to cover up b/c breastfeeding uncovered was undignified. I think I would lose it, get emotional, walk away, etc. I don't know if I could hold it together. I've never had that happen to me and I hope I never do!  Velcromom - thank you for the link! 

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#23 of 27 Old 04-26-2011, 07:39 AM
 
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I personally feel that a mother should nurse however and wherever she feels most comfortable.  I have nursed in public and not and have covered and not.  A mother should do what is best for her and her baby.  If a mother wants to go out of the room that is her decision, same with using a cover-up, same with not worrying about covering up.  The point for me, is that a woman should not be harassed for breastfeeding her baby, however she chooses to go about it, and it sickens me that there are still morons out there who would have the nerve to say stupid things to women who are just trying to do what's best for their children.

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#24 of 27 Old 04-27-2011, 03:01 PM
 
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I support any woman's right to nurse her child however she see's fit.

 

If she likes a cover, great. There are a lot of reasons why a cover is helpful.

 

If she doesn't want a cover, great.

 

If she prefers to nurse somewhere private it, great.

 

But it should be the her choice. And god help the person who suggests otherwise to me or in front of me.

 

Maybe I should start going around and asking women to bottle-feed their babies on the toilet.

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#25 of 27 Old 04-27-2011, 03:16 PM
 
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I NIP'd without a cover because DD would not tolerate being covered. I did try in the beginning, but DD's needs made me get over being shy. She was a total nurse-o-matic for so long. And while in the end, I decided that I preferred to nurse openly, I don't care if other moms use covers. I might have liked them if they hadn't seemed so cumbersome. I just couldn't seem to get coordinated enough with the cover. lol

 

Heck, I used to nurse my toddler at the kiddie play area at the mall in front of the big Victoria Secret posters and store. Thankfully, no one ever bugged me about it because I'm in a fairly liberal area with a very pro-breastfeeding hospital.

 

Hope you all don't have to deal with this type of attitude again.


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#26 of 27 Old 04-30-2011, 02:54 AM
 
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I've NIP with & without cover and felt pretty dignified both ways.  With DD, I ALWAYS covered up because I felt shy and DD needed a cocoon for settling down to eat.  Plus I really like my cover and think it's pretty!  And partly because it never occured to me not to use the cover.  Fast forward to DS....I end up nursing without a cover more than with.  I'm waaaaaaay over my shyness phase for one.  And frankly between my toddler and a newbornI just don't have time to use it sometimes .  I just have to nurse when needed ASAP.  I'm also nursing more in a carrier/wrap so they kinda double duty a "cover".  Whatever works works, kwim?  But I'm also lucky to be in a crunchy area where tons of people babywear and breastfeed.


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#27 of 27 Old 04-30-2011, 03:15 AM
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I can think of a couple of things that are truly undignified....

 

1) Staring at another woman's breasts

2) Diarrhea of the mouth

 

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