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Need help with 3 year old

421 views 3 replies 2 participants last post by  tri31 
#1 ·
I'm 28 weeks pregnant and still nursing my DD2 who will turn 3 in April. With my eldest, she stopped nursing completely on her own when I was pregnant with DD2. There were no issues, no crying, and it was completely up to her. She was 28 months old. My DD2, though, is much more attached and has no issue dry nursing. I have endured so much painful nursing over the past few months, but I've been willing to do it because I felt like she wasn't emotionally ready. Well, now I'm just not sure how much more I can take. I have tried so hard to get her to cut back, but it's hard. She will literally ask to nurse every single time I sit down and all night long. I'm a pacifier. I really want to meet her emotional needs still, but I'm tired, my nipples hurt, I need her to sleep at night not attached to me, etc. I'm beginning to get worried about her resenting the new baby if she is still nursing like this because I'm obviously going to have to be up nursing the baby, not just acting as her pacifier.

She has never had a lovey or pacifier or anything. Should I try to introduce something like a stuffed animal or something at this point? Anyone have suggestions for me? Support? Anything? I feel terrible for feeling this way, but I just don't know how much more I can take. Thanks!
 
#2 ·
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We went through this. Your little one reads your body language. I let my LO know I was hurting. Spring is coming, and with it a natural opportunity to change your day time routine in a fun way. My dh started taking our LO to bed and to our surprise he let him comfort him, he would stroke his hair or rub his back. He did cry out for me sometimes, but it was short lived. I had to sort of quitely vanish at bed time. Overall this was a blessing, because it empowered all of us. Once he stopped night nursing he weaned himself over the next few weeks. That was almost 2 years ago, he is 3 and a half now and still wants to cuddle mama and is very much mommy boy. Many blessings.

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#3 ·
Thanks for replying. That is more of what we did with DD1 and it worked fine as she liked dh. DD2...not so much. She's a momma's girl and refuses dh for everything. She is super, super attached to me, which is another reason I'm worried about baby arriving. She won't let anyone comfort her but me, she's never been away from me, she's never slept with anyone but me (although I now have her sleeping in her own bed in the same room most of the night). I'm just at a loss of how to bring her comfort without it being my breast. KWIM? Thanks again!
 
#4 ·
Oh, that's so sweet. Sounds like our 3 year olds have somethings in common. I was curious, what if you asked her "what will help"? The young can be so wise, maybe being part of the process would help her understand how things are slowly starting to change. My 3 year old is watching his just turned 1 year old brother grow and he yearns to be little. Beautiful complicated change..so hard for all of us.
 
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