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#1 of 89 Old 05-08-2011, 06:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a new nephew that I got to see for the first time today.  By new I mean he's already 4 months old.  Of course I think he's the most adorable little baby ever and I'm just in love with him.  His little smiles are the best and the way his eyes sparkle melts my heart (can you tell my boys are well past the baby stage?).  When the subject of breastfeeding came up I was told "oh we're not doing THAT" like it was totally gross.  I know my SIL and the only reason she isn't nursing is because FFing is easier for her.  My heart is breaking.

 

Here is where my question comes in.  Because of my very strong beliefs on BFing, I will not feed her son for her.  It just isn't something I can bring myself to do.  I can respect her choice because it is after all, her choice no matter my feelings on the issue but I just cannot bear to sit down and put a bottle in that baby's mouth.  I know I will be asked to.  We are vacationing with them soon and she passes him off as often as possible (I'm bringing my sling on vacation, glad that it will be of use once more).  

 

I'm just not sure how to keep declining this "great honor" without coming off like an elitist.  Heck, maybe I am being one but I just cannot get over the heartache I feel when I've tried to do this.  I fought hard to BF my babies (including being in a coma *twice* and losing my supply both times but working to get it back successfully both times) and I see her just throwing it all away.  Am I a bad person for feeling like this?  


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#2 of 89 Old 05-08-2011, 07:27 PM
 
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I have been sitting here trying to figure out how to respond to your post so I will respond as gently as possible.  While I understand that there are many people that become very passionate about their interests (ie, breastfeeding, nutrition, etc)  I really believe that actions like the one your describing actually really hurt the lactivist cause.  By not feeding her baby, you are ostracizing this woman, who is your SIL.  Why would you want to do that?  It doesn't matter if she choosing to breastfeed or formula feed, in the big scheme of life, it's really none of your business. 

 

And yes, I do think your being really insensitive.  If you choose to breastfeed in extenuating circumstances, good for you... but don't be do-gooder.

 

 


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#3 of 89 Old 05-08-2011, 07:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by goodygumdrops View Post

 

I have been sitting here trying to figure out how to respond to your post so I will respond as gently as possible.  While I understand that there are many people that become very passionate about their interests (ie, breastfeeding, nutrition, etc)  I really believe that actions like the one your describing actually really hurt the lactivist cause.  By not feeding her baby, you are ostracizing this woman, who is your SIL.  Why would you want to do that?  It doesn't matter if she choosing to breastfeed or formula feed, in the big scheme of life, it's really none of your business. 

 

And yes, I do think your being really insensitive.  If you choose to breastfeed in extenuating circumstances, good for you... but don't be do-gooder.

 

 



I disagree.  The idea of formula feeding a baby makes the OP uncomfortable; it doesn't mean that she's planning on ostracizing the SIL, and the "lactivist cause" is irrelevant here.

 

The SIL sounds like she has been judgmental about breastfeeding.  Why should the OP just suck it up and feed the baby when she's not comfortable with it?  

 

Personally, if I felt that way about feeding the baby a bottle, I would decline if asked to, or conveniently have something else to do when feeding time came around.  You're not the child's caregiver and should not be expected to feed it when the parents are right there anyway.


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#4 of 89 Old 05-08-2011, 08:55 PM
 
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The SIL sounds like she has been judgmental about breastfeeding. .



Or perhaps the SIL is behaving the way she is because she feels judged by the op who, in her own words, has a very strong feelings regarding breastfeeding.

I think you have two options - feed your nephew his bottle and enjoy spending some quality time with your sweet nephew or make yourself busy whenever feeding time comes around so that you aren't asked to help.
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#5 of 89 Old 05-08-2011, 08:58 PM
 
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Certainly you have the right to not feed your nephew if that is your choice.

 

But I want to point out that she is not currently  "throwing [anything] away".  Any benefits from her son getting breast milk have already been thrown away and the only thing this baby is being fed now is formula.  Your protest can't change that.

 

Many people find that bottle feeding babies is a wonderful way to bond with them.  In all honesty (and you should know that I'm days away from nursing a 5 year old and her 2yo sister) I sometimes longed to bottle feed my girls because I had bottle fed so many other babies while I was growing up and I had an emotional connection to the routine.  I LOVED nursing my girls and am a huge advocate for it, but there's always been that warm feeling I got from feeding babies before I had my own.

 

If it were me, I'd be chomping at the bit to have that quiet time with my nephew.  I have only one niece and she's adopted. I was thrilled to sit and feed her her bottle even though the smell of formula is so gross!  It was a special time I got to spend with her amidst the hubbub of extended family life.  It wasn't her fault or choice what she was being fed.

 

I wonder, though, if the issue isn't more with the fact that "she passes him off as often as possible" than the formula.  Maybe you're wishing that she was a more attached parent than she is? Or feeling sad for your nephew that he is being passed around so much away from mama?  

 


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#6 of 89 Old 05-08-2011, 09:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I haven't been vocal about my strong feelings.  I have only shared some of my personal experiences (NOT including the coma story so she doesn't know the extremes that I have gone through in order to BF).  I've only been helpful and supportive to her, which is why I'm so conflicted on how to act over this multi-day vacation.  Up until now we haven't spent a lot of time together.


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#7 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 05:55 AM
 
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It breaks your heart that she's formula feeding? to the extent that you can't even hold the bottle? Really?

Have you talked to anyone about this? That is not a normal or healthy way to feel. I wish you well as you heal.

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#8 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 05:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Bokonon View Post
I disagree.  The idea of formula feeding a baby makes the OP uncomfortable; it doesn't mean that she's planning on ostracizing the SIL, and the "lactivist cause" is irrelevant here.

 

The SIL sounds like she has been judgmental about breastfeeding.  Why should the OP just suck it up and feed the baby when she's not comfortable with it?  

 

 

Because no matter what the mother's choices were, all human beings deserve to be fed.  If the mother 'passes off' the baby and then walks across the street and gets hit by a truck (God Forbid), what then?  Yes, thats an extreme way for me to make my point, which is, if she loves that child or even if she didn't, if the baby is hungry and the mother doesn't happen to be around, then put your personal agenda aside and feed the child.  It's not like she's asking for her to give her a latte from Starbucks, for heck's sake.

 

 


 

 

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#9 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 05:58 AM
 
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It breaks your heart that she's formula feeding? to the extent that you can't even hold the bottle? Really?

Have you talked to anyone about this? That is not a normal or healthy way to feel. I wish you well as you heal.


Yes this.  If the choice was letting the baby cry and go hungry while you wait for his mother to return from whatever she's doing, rather than give that baby nutrition and comfort with an albeit artificial nipple, then something is wrong with your compass.

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#10 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 06:01 AM
 
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#11 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 06:44 AM
 
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 I understand your feelings. Although,It's the mother choice how to feed her baby. I'll probably encourage your SIL to feed her baby in the breastefeeding way. Positioning the baby, eye to eye contact, switching sides, etc. You have to remember the breastfeeding it's not just about Breast Milk, it's the bounding with the baby, and that it's also something than many mothers in our society need to be incourage by other mothers. Doesn't matter the how the baby is been feed.

 Please, by kind we your feelings.Breath and be in peace!


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#12 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 06:48 AM
 
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How would you feel if you went to visit your SIL and you started to nurse your child and she made a comment she was offended by nursing, won't be a part of it and got up and left or ushered you to another room?  I assume you would be very hurt, do you want to hurt your SIL?  No, I dont think so wink1.gif As far as her trying to pass her infant off every chance she gets... are you really sure this is as diabolical as you make it sound?  Maybe she's simply more relaxed about friends or family holding her baby than you would be.  Maybe it makes her happy to be able to share her baby with her loved ones.  Maybe she simply needs some recuperation time. It's possible she could really benefit from a break and takes advantage of the time she spends with family and friends to take a moment for herself because she knows her infant can still be held and cuddled as she does.

 

I think you need to be very sensitive to choices women make with their children, confidence is such a huge part of parenting & anyone who would chip away at that confidence is doing the mother and child a huge disservice.  I'm not saying you cant have a conversation about these kinds of things with other parents, but a conversation isn't what you're after here, lets face it..  you were planning to make some kind of statement that your choices are superior, hers are substandard/shameful.  You NEVER do that to another woman, especially over something like this.  What other women chose to do with their children is in no way a reflection on you, just keep reminding yourself of that.
 

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#13 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 08:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MommyBear View Post

I have a new nephew that I got to see for the first time today.  By new I mean he's already 4 months old.  Of course I think he's the most adorable little baby ever and I'm just in love with him.  His little smiles are the best and the way his eyes sparkle melts my heart (can you tell my boys are well past the baby stage?).  When the subject of breastfeeding came up I was told "oh we're not doing THAT" like it was totally gross.  I know my SIL and the only reason she isn't nursing is because FFing is easier for her.  My heart is breaking.

 

Here is where my question comes in.  Because of my very strong beliefs on BFing, I will not feed her son for her.  It just isn't something I can bring myself to do.  I can respect her choice because it is after all, her choice no matter my feelings on the issue but I just cannot bear to sit down and put a bottle in that baby's mouth.  I know I will be asked to.  We are vacationing with them soon and she passes him off as often as possible (I'm bringing my sling on vacation, glad that it will be of use once more).  

 

I'm just not sure how to keep declining this "great honor" without coming off like an elitist.  Heck, maybe I am being one but I just cannot get over the heartache I feel when I've tried to do this.  I fought hard to BF my babies (including being in a coma *twice* and losing my supply both times but working to get it back successfully both times) and I see her just throwing it all away.  Am I a bad person for feeling like this?  

With all gentleness this isn't ok.  If you are the one in charge of the infant for whatever reason it isn't ok for you to deny him food simply because you don't like what he has to eat.  It would be no different that someone who's in charge of a breastfed infant refusing to give the child back to their mother to nurse, or refusing to give the child a bottle of EBM because they disagree with breastfeeding or the use of breastmilk. 

I think you need to explore why another woman's decision WRT her child's nutrition, and what is on what on the grander scheme of things quite small, effects you so deeply.  Is it ANY woman who chooses not to breastfeed that bothers you this deeply?  Or just your SIL?  Regardless of what the answer is you need to look more deeply into the answers and what makes you feel that way.  I would guess it goes back to your own personal experience.  I am sure you know though that we can not apply our own personal experiences to everyone else's lives.  We can not place our priorities on others without expecting them to do the same to us. 
 

 


 

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I disagree.  The idea of formula feeding a baby makes the OP uncomfortable; it doesn't mean that she's planning on ostracizing the SIL, and the "lactivist cause" is irrelevant here.

 

The SIL sounds like she has been judgmental about breastfeeding.  Why should the OP just suck it up and feed the baby when she's not comfortable with it?  

 

Personally, if I felt that way about feeding the baby a bottle, I would decline if asked to, or conveniently have something else to do when feeding time came around.  You're not the child's caregiver and should not be expected to feed it when the parents are right there anyway.


BECAUSE SHE'S DENYING AN INFANT COMFORT AND NOURISHMENT OTHERWISE!  Let's not forget this line of reasoning does nothing but harm and punish an innocent infant who only knows they are hungry, and that they aren't being nutured and fed when they need to be.  You can't put this horse back in the barn.  The deed is already done, the deal already signed sealed and delivered.  This baby ISN'T going to get breastmilk. 

 


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#14 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 08:18 AM
 
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Hi OP,

 

From what I read of your initial post, you will not be the care giver for this baby, but instead a fun aunt that he hangs out with during your time together. It sounds like you adore him love.gif

 

I think the most gentle way to save yourself heartache and avoid any family conflict is just to hand baby back to Mom when he starts to show signs of hunger. If you are asked if you want to feed him, just say 'no thanks' and find something else to do.

 

 

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#15 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 08:21 AM
 
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Honestly- you need to really think about why you are so uncomfortable that you can't bring yourself to feed your NEPHEW a bottle.  This is how he is fed, period. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate- I breastfed both my kids until they were 3. I just gave birth to twins as a surrogate- and their parents are feeding them formula. That is their choice and I am happy to see the babies being held and cuddled and loved while they are being fed. 

 

What about when your nephew is a toddler? Will you refuse to feed him if his mom gives him McDonald's for lunch? 


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#16 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 08:56 AM
 
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I have been sitting here trying to figure out how to respond to your post so I will respond as gently as possible.  While I understand that there are many people that become very passionate about their interests (ie, breastfeeding, nutrition, etc)  I really believe that actions like the one your describing actually really hurt the lactivist cause.  By not feeding her baby, you are ostracizing this woman, who is your SIL.  Why would you want to do that?  It doesn't matter if she choosing to breastfeed or formula feed, in the big scheme of life, it's really none of your business. 

 

And yes, I do think your being really insensitive.  If you choose to breastfeed in extenuating circumstances, good for you... but don't be do-gooder.

 

 



 

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#17 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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With all gentleness this isn't ok.  If you are the one in charge of the infant for whatever reason it isn't ok for you to deny him food simply because you don't like what he has to eat.  It would be no different that someone who's in charge of a breastfed infant refusing to give the child back to their mother to nurse, or refusing to give the child a bottle of EBM because they disagree with breastfeeding or the use of breastmilk. 

I think you need to explore why another woman's decision WRT her child's nutrition, and what is on what on the grander scheme of things quite small, effects you so deeply.  Is it ANY woman who chooses not to breastfeed that bothers you this deeply?  Or just your SIL?  Regardless of what the answer is you need to look more deeply into the answers and what makes you feel that way.  I would guess it goes back to your own personal experience.  I am sure you know though that we can not apply our own personal experiences to everyone else's lives.  We can not place our priorities on others without expecting them to do the same to us. 
 

 


 


BECAUSE SHE'S DENYING AN INFANT COMFORT AND NOURISHMENT OTHERWISE!  Let's not forget this line of reasoning does nothing but harm and punish an innocent infant who only knows they are hungry, and that they aren't being nutured and fed when they need to be.  You can't put this horse back in the barn.  The deed is already done, the deal already signed sealed and delivered.  This baby ISN'T going to get breastmilk. 

 



 

 

I wrote out a long post, lost it, and thought I would just agree all your posts.

 

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#18 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 09:10 AM
 
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Surely there's some middle ground somewhere between "just suck it up and feed the baby a bottle" and "let the baby scream and starve to death".  The OP can be helpful and hold the baby until he's hungry, then mumble something about not being very good at bottlefeeding, and hand the baby off to someone else to feed.  There will be other people there besides the OP and her SIL, and clearly SIL is ok with the baby being passed around. 

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#19 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 09:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh for goodness sakes!  I'm not denying the poor little guy anything!  I'm not his caretaker in any way shape or form!  I'm just there WITH HIS PARENTS chatting at a small family get together.  I was just asking for suggestions on how I could politely hand the little fellow back to his mama so SHE could feed him.  If I were the only adult around, yes I would feed him gladly.  I would never withhold food from a baby for any reason.  That is just cruel.  Please don't slap that label on me.  I just see such a lack of bonding with them that it makes my heart sad.  Now his daddy on the other hand, it is a beautiful thing... He feeds the baby, rocks the baby, sings to the baby.  It is wonderful to watch.  I guess I am just a bad person for coming here to vent my feelings and to ask for advice.  Sorry for making that mistake.


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#20 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 09:35 AM
 
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Oh for goodness sakes!  I'm not denying the poor little guy anything!  I'm not his caretaker in any way shape or form!  I'm just there WITH HIS PARENTS chatting at a small family get together.  I was just asking for suggestions on how I could politely hand the little fellow back to his mama so SHE could feed him.  If I were the only adult around, yes I would feed him gladly.  I would never withhold food from a baby for any reason.  That is just cruel.  Please don't slap that label on me.  I just see such a lack of bonding with them that it makes my heart sad.  Now his daddy on the other hand, it is a beautiful thing... He feeds the baby, rocks the baby, sings to the baby.  It is wonderful to watch.  I guess I am just a bad person for coming here to vent my feelings and to ask for advice.  Sorry for making that mistake.



How is it possible that you can see a lack of bonding between the mom and baby after only having seen them together once - just because a mother chooses to not breastfeed her child in no way means that they are not bonded.
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#21 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 09:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Because I've been with them physically for a short time does not mean I do not know them well.  We talk regularly, video chat regularly, email regularly, facebook regularly... I'm sure you get the point.  We are not strangers by any means.  Physical interaction is not the only means of contact in the year 2011.


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#22 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 10:05 AM
 
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OP I understood from your original post that you were in no way denying your nephew food, you would just prefer someone else do the bottle feeding because you are so upset that your SIL chose not to breastfeed.  I understand your disappointment, but I think refusing to feed the baby is going overboard a bit.

 

My question would be, "What good will come of you refusing to feed your nephew?"  Mom can't go back and choose breastfeeding now (yes I know about re-lactation, but it doesn't seem like a realistic outcome here)  I don't know what you're seeing that causes you concern over how bonded mom and baby are, it seems unlikely that refusing to help (no matter how politely it's done) will do anything but make mom feel more stressed and judged for being inadequate, not encourage her to bond.

 

I really think your best course of action is to be helpful however you can and encourage and uplift the mom.  Maybe if you develop a good relationship, you can help her nurse future babies.  If she sees you as unhelpful and judgey now, you can bet she won't be wanting to emulate you or ask for help nursing future babies.


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#23 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 10:44 AM
 
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Oh for goodness sakes!  I'm not denying the poor little guy anything!  I'm not his caretaker in any way shape or form!  I'm just there WITH HIS PARENTS chatting at a small family get together.  I was just asking for suggestions on how I could politely hand the little fellow back to his mama so SHE could feed him.  If I were the only adult around, yes I would feed him gladly.  I would never withhold food from a baby for any reason.  That is just cruel.  Please don't slap that label on me.  I just see such a lack of bonding with them that it makes my heart sad.  Now his daddy on the other hand, it is a beautiful thing... He feeds the baby, rocks the baby, sings to the baby.  It is wonderful to watch.  I guess I am just a bad person for coming here to vent my feelings and to ask for advice.  Sorry for making that mistake.



My apologies then.  It seemed as if you were unwilling to feed the baby a bottle for any reason.  I have infant aged nieces and nephews who are formula fed for a variety of reasons.  It's never occurred to me that it would be a problem to hand the fussing/hungry baby back to it's parents/care givers and say "here you go X is hungry", and leave it at that.  That's the upside to NOT being the parent.  You don't have to deal with the hungry/fussy baby. 



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OP I understood from your original post that you were in no way denying your nephew food, you would just prefer someone else do the bottle feeding because you are so upset that your SIL chose not to breastfeed.  I understand your disappointment, but I think refusing to feed the baby is going overboard a bit.

 

My question would be, "What good will come of you refusing to feed your nephew?"  Mom can't go back and choose breastfeeding now (yes I know about re-lactation, but it doesn't seem like a realistic outcome here)  I don't know what you're seeing that causes you concern over how bonded mom and baby are, it seems unlikely that refusing to help (no matter how politely it's done) will do anything but make mom feel more stressed and judged for being inadequate, not encourage her to bond.

 

I really think your best course of action is to be helpful however you can and encourage and uplift the mom.  Maybe if you develop a good relationship, you can help her nurse future babies.  If she sees you as unhelpful and judgey now, you can bet she won't be wanting to emulate you or ask for help nursing future babies.


This whole thing leaves me wondering if people who think FATHER'S who aren't intimately involved with feeding are not as bonded.  I mean, don't we argue just the opposite here?  That there are OTHER ways to bond with the infant other than feeding?  I don't know this family or their situation.  I'm sure as their family the OP does know more, but I'm left with questions like, is the child in day care?  Is the mother the primary care giver?  Is the Father?  Who's doing most of the infant care most of the time?  I've had 4 kids who all breastfed more than a year, and I know that any time I could get a free moment, I would give them to some one else to snuggle so I wouldn't be as touched out by the end of the day.  KWIM?

 


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#24 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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While I don't like to bottle feed MY babies and am very much a nursing advocate (going on 5 yrs straight of nursing) any time spent cuddling with a baby is a blessing. If you don't want to feed your nephew fine politely decline but there is still something special about cuddling with the little guy and "bottle nursing" him. Adopted couples, people who no matter all they tried could not make bfing work ect do it even though they would love to nurse. I guess what I am saying is don't judge your SIL. That is not our "job." and while I know she made a deal about bfing when asked be the gracious one. 

 

 


~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.

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#25 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 11:06 AM
 
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Can't you think of it from another perspective.  Like, wow, b/c she happens to not be nursing (despite how beneficial and healthy it is... and all that), I am lucky enough to get to share such a sweet and bonding experience with my nephew. 

 

You are able to hold him and nourish him.  He has to drink out of a bottle, anyway, so isn't it neat that you can help with that?  I enjoy bottle-feeding other people's babies.  It's so fun to snuggle them and watch them drink and smile and coo and look into my eyes.  Even more so if it were a baby related to me! As an Aunt, I would be honored, and it would bring me great joy. 


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#26 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 11:26 AM
 
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Oh for goodness sakes!  I'm not denying the poor little guy anything!  I'm not his caretaker in any way shape or form!  I'm just there WITH HIS PARENTS chatting at a small family get together.  I was just asking for suggestions on how I could politely hand the little fellow back to his mama so SHE could feed him.  If I were the only adult around, yes I would feed him gladly.  I would never withhold food from a baby for any reason.  That is just cruel.  Please don't slap that label on me.  I just see such a lack of bonding with them that it makes my heart sad.  Now his daddy on the other hand, it is a beautiful thing... He feeds the baby, rocks the baby, sings to the baby.  It is wonderful to watch.  I guess I am just a bad person for coming here to vent my feelings and to ask for advice.  Sorry for making that mistake.


You mentioned no 'lack of bonding' in your OP. Just about the Evil Formula Feeding and how you "just cannot bear to sit down and put a bottle in that baby's mouth". Surely you must be able to see that that is NOT a normal reaction. And are you teaching your children this nonsense too?

I BF my kids and I'll BF the one I'm carrying now, hopefully. But to have such an OTT reaction to bottle feeding? It's just not good for you. Or for your poor SIL! You 'can't bring yourself' to feed him? To FEED HIM?

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

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#27 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 11:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Where in any of my posts did I mention teaching this to my children?  This is something that I have kept to myself aside from sharing with my DP in the comfort of our bedroom, after the children are asleep and sharing here.  My children have bottle fed other babies and while they do know that breast is best, they do know that some do choose to bottle feed.  I am quite able to keep my quirks to myself.  Do I need help?  Quite possibly yes.  Maybe that is why I came here asking for help in trying to politely decline the offer to bottle feed.  Maybe, just maybe I'm trying to take baby steps.  Do I need people here telling me that I am mentally ill?  No.  I just needed a community where I could come to vent some frustrations.  I'm not denying this sweet baby food.  I am not denying him love or cuddles.  It has been a number of years since I've had a baby to snuggle with so I am more than happy to have the chance to do that.  I'm just choosing not to take part in the feeding.  That does not mean that my nephew will starve, it just means that I will not be the one feeding him.  I will be the one playing with him and rocking him to sleep and changing him.  There are probably thousands of posts on these boards illustrating the ways to bond with a baby that are NOT feeding.  Those are the ways that I will be interacting with him.  I am not a monster, really I'm not.


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#28 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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Perhaps I missed it, I didn't see anyone telling you that you were mentally ill, only that you may need to seek some kind of help on this issue because it's really not a normal reaction to bottle feeding.  I can understand feeling defensive when you are being told that your reaction is over the top, but with more than one person saying it, I think it's likely to be true. 


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#29 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 12:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pynki View Post

Perhaps I missed it, I didn't see anyone telling you that you were mentally ill, only that you may need to seek some kind of help on this issue because it's really not a normal reaction to bottle feeding.  I can understand feeling defensive when you are being told that your reaction is over the top, but with more than one person saying it, I think it's likely to be true. 



Then why is it ok for people in the Case Against Circumcision forum to talk about how they cut friends and family members out of their lives for circ'ing their sons, or refusing to change a diaper of a child who is circumcised??  

 

The OP is uncomfortable over the idea of doing something out of the ordinary for her.  Regardless of most of the respondents' judgments, the OP is entitled to feel how she feels.  Just like many women feel totally grossed out by feeding someone else's baby expressed breastmilk.


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#30 of 89 Old 05-09-2011, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you to those who have sought to understand where I'm coming from.


Betty *(.)(.)* mama to: DS1 (12) DS2 (11) DS3 (8)
(12/26/06) (5/11/09) (10/7/09)x2

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