Preteen dd embarassed about nursing in public - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-12-2011, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What do or would you guys do if your preteen dd was embarassed about you nursing in public?  My dd believes a lot in breastfeeding and gets mad when she hears things about moms getting in trouble for it but last time we were at a mall she got upset cause I was going to nurse in public.  My mom thinks I should go somewhere private and not embarass her(my mom believes in nursing so this is annoying to me),  I know she is at the age where moms are embarassing(right now she is mad that we both have long hair)and I dont want to embarass her but at the same time I want her to get used to it so she is not afraid to do it someday.  Help!

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Old 05-12-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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I would talk to her about it....WHY does it embarrass her? Does she think the baby should wait to be fed because she is embarrassed? Talk with your daughter. Acknowledge her embarrassment, but at the same time, explain that you aren't going to change what you are doing to suit her wants. Baby's needs trumps dd's wants. Talk, talk, talk. You owe it to her, and her future children. 


Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10

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Old 05-12-2011, 01:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you.  That is excellent advice. 

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Old 05-12-2011, 05:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker'smommy View Post

I would talk to her about it....WHY does it embarrass her? Does she think the baby should wait to be fed because she is embarrassed? Talk with your daughter. Acknowledge her embarrassment, but at the same time, explain that you aren't going to change what you are doing to suit her wants. Baby's needs trumps dd's wants. Talk, talk, talk. You owe it to her, and her future children. 


This.

 

Plus know that she is getting to an age when practically everything you do could be a source of embarrassment. I remember my best friend at age 11-12 being mortified by how her step dad swallowed when he ate.

 

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Old 05-12-2011, 07:07 PM
 
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when I was her age...

I was constantly telling my mom she looked like a dork or her hat was dorky, etc. (do kids even still USE the word dork!?) She found solace when I told her "everything you DO/WEAR is dorky"... so, basically there was no escaping it, she'd just have to embrace it. (TOTALLY not my intent as an angsty pre/teen).

 

It's a phase... I wouldn't let it dictate the nutritional needs of your baby, but if there's something you can do to make DD more comfortable without: a. a lot of extra work and b. compromising breastfeeding... I say go for it.

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Old 05-17-2011, 10:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Boy, that's for sure..she told me yesterday I needed to wash my hair and part it differently because it looked like I had a Frankenstein forehead.  So the look I was going for. :)

 

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This.

 

Plus know that she is getting to an age when practically everything you do could be a source of embarrassment. I remember my best friend at age 11-12 being mortified by how her step dad swallowed when he ate.

 



 

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Old 05-17-2011, 10:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL I don't know what those youngsters say anymore...I am not cool anymore...or phat...or whatever they say lol.  Except that I am the mom who would let her dye her hair pink and when she comes home from school and complains I usually agree with her perspective lol.  Oh well, can't win.  I guess I should be happy she still likes me at all lol.  I try to put little comments in here and there like for instance we were watching Babies and I commented on how the African moms go around without shirts and aren't concerned and here you can show half naked women but not nursing ones.  We talked the other day and I said we are going out in the summer and if there is a nice air conditioned place to nurse I like to go there but if we arent near one baby is going to have to nurse and she was cool with it.  Hooray!  Thanks so much guys! By the way, I convinced her even though my hair is long like hers its ok cause mine is dark and hers is blonde and hers is straight and mine is wavy...and she doesnt have a Frankenstein forehead apparently either. LOL

 

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when I was her age...

I was constantly telling my mom she looked like a dork or her hat was dorky, etc. (do kids even still USE the word dork!?) She found solace when I told her "everything you DO/WEAR is dorky"... so, basically there was no escaping it, she'd just have to embrace it. (TOTALLY not my intent as an angsty pre/teen).

 

It's a phase... I wouldn't let it dictate the nutritional needs of your baby, but if there's something you can do to make DD more comfortable without: a. a lot of extra work and b. compromising breastfeeding... I say go for it.



 

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Old 05-18-2011, 06:10 AM
 
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I wouln't keep talking and talking about it when your DD already understands breastfeeding and appreciates that it's the right thing to do.

It is just going to be flat out annoying and as moms we can be annoying enough and there is a lot of other stuff to talk about.

She just can't help it. It's not about your boob! It's everything about you that is embarrasing. The way you walk, the comments you have, the way your hair looks today.........

My DD is only 8. She can't even handle when I humm along to a song playing on the radio in the supermarket. She says, "MOM, stop you are making me feel so embarrassed!"

 

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Old 05-18-2011, 06:33 AM
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This.

 

Plus know that she is getting to an age when practically everything you do could be a source of embarrassment. I remember my best friend at age 11-12 being mortified by how her step dad swallowed when he ate.

 

Yeah I think being embarrassed by your parents at that age is pretty much par for the course. Everything they do is embarrassing. I would still gently talk to her about it and explain you won't be changing how you nurse although you appreciate her embarrassment...

Question, has she been made of at school for it? Honestly it makes me think there might have been some things said to your DD...I would try and tease it out of her gently.
 

 

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Old 05-19-2011, 07:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL yes..so true.  I talk too much because I try to understand her point of view but sometimes I need to LET THINGS GO. 
 

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I wouln't keep talking and talking about it when your DD already understands breastfeeding and appreciates that it's the right thing to do.

It is just going to be flat out annoying and as moms we can be annoying enough and there is a lot of other stuff to talk about.

She just can't help it. It's not about your boob! It's everything about you that is embarrasing. The way you walk, the comments you have, the way your hair looks today.........

My DD is only 8. She can't even handle when I humm along to a song playing on the radio in the supermarket. She says, "MOM, stop you are making me feel so embarrassed!"

 



 

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Old 05-19-2011, 07:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, we talked and everything is ok.  No there's really no way they couldve known because I haven't nursed in front of her friends but you do make a good point though....friends' opinions are so important at her age.

 

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Yeah I think being embarrassed by your parents at that age is pretty much par for the course. Everything they do is embarrassing. I would still gently talk to her about it and explain you won't be changing how you nurse although you appreciate her embarrassment...

Question, has she been made of at school for it? Honestly it makes me think there might have been some things said to your DD...I would try and tease it out of her gently.
 

 



 

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