"I feel weird about breastfeeding." - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 45 Old 06-14-2011, 02:58 PM
 
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For the record I am a huge BFing supporter but IDK if I could BF if I kept orgasaming from it. Like someone else said we all walk out own path. I feel REALLY weird about orgasmic birth and I don't want to judge people who have one but it makes me feel uncomfortable.


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#32 of 45 Old 06-14-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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I agree, no one should do anything that makes them unhappy.  Sure, baby would get nutrition, but you might bond better with a bottle, if you are very uncomfortable with breastfeeding.


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#33 of 45 Old 06-15-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 

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Nope, it is very common, but not something most doctors or LC talk about, for obvious reasons.  I'm not saying it happens to everyone, but that high amounts of oxytocin cause that reaction in some women.



 



 


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#34 of 45 Old 06-15-2011, 02:25 PM
 
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I don't want to get off on a tangent, but I do feel the need to clarify. There a difference between, "finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm," and "the stimulation caused by breastfeeding results in a release of hormones that can result in orgasm." Your definition, as it is written, implies a conscious effort to be aroused. That is an involuntary reaction what we're describing.

 


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Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 



 



 


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#35 of 45 Old 06-15-2011, 04:02 PM
 
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I think it is ridiculous and depressing I want to go move somewhere crunchy b/c I HATE it here! I feel so unwelcome...



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Unfortunately, negativity can happen anywhere.  I lived in California when DS was little and I got a few negative comments.  My BIL's sister closed a door between me very discreetly nursing (a newborn) DS and a room where other kids were because, "Their moms just wouldn't want them seeing THAT," then she told me I should go into my nieces room to bf.

 

I had to deal with half an hour of really dirty looks from an older man in a restaurant for nursing DS, also when he was a newborn.

 

The worst one was when DS was about 16 months old and fell down at the park.  We were sitting on a bench and he was getting boo-boo nursies when 2 power-walking women came by.  One of them actually Moo'ed at me.

 

Now I live in Portland, though, which is about as crunchy a city as you could possibly get.  Hopefully I'll be able to avoid the nasty reactions after the babe I'm currently pregnant with is born.

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#36 of 45 Old 06-15-2011, 04:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 



 



Are you seriously implying that women who experience (sometimes strong) sexual feelings during breastfeeding, through no fault of their own, are breastfeeding because it's sexually gratifying?  Not all women require extended, intense, focused effort to orgasm.  For some women it's embarrassingly easy.  Are you going to be the one to judge how much sexual feeling is OK for a woman to feel before she is having too much "sexual gratification" to breastfeed? 

 

I certainly don't think that women who are really uncomfortable with the sexual feelings that often come with breastfeeding should feel forced to continue to breastfeed, but I also think that it is TOTALLY NATURAL and NORMAL to experience sexual feelings during breastfeeding.  Every book that I've read on breastfeeding says so.  And women should NOT feel guilty for continuing to breastfeed despite the unintentional reaction of their bodies.

 
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#37 of 45 Old 06-15-2011, 05:43 PM
 
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Thank you! clap.gif
 

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Are you seriously implying that women who experience (sometimes strong) sexual feelings during breastfeeding, through no fault of their own, are breastfeeding because it's sexually gratifying?  Not all women require extended, intense, focused effort to orgasm.  For some women it's embarrassingly easy.  Are you going to be the one to judge how much sexual feeling is OK for a woman to feel before she is having too much "sexual gratification" to breastfeed? 

 

I certainly don't think that women who are really uncomfortable with the sexual feelings that often come with breastfeeding should feel forced to continue to breastfeed, but I also think that it is TOTALLY NATURAL and NORMAL to experience sexual feelings during breastfeeding.  Every book that I've read on breastfeeding says so.  And women should NOT feel guilty for continuing to breastfeed despite the unintentional reaction of their bodies.

 


 


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#38 of 45 Old 06-15-2011, 05:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 


It turns out your wrong.  I haven't ever experienced it personally, but remember hearing about it for the first time in a freshman women's studies class and several times after including my hospital led breastfeeding course.  You probably think it is uncommon because people don't talk about it.  They are afraid that if they talk about it, they'll get spanked by someone like you saying they have their wires crossed and should essentially be ashamed of it. And if you feel so proud of what you're saying, why did you create a new account just to hop on here and call people perverts for experiencing something that is biologically normal?   

 

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#39 of 45 Old 06-15-2011, 08:20 PM
 
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edited-- NM...jumped to a conclusion that I shouldn't have...

 
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#40 of 45 Old 06-16-2011, 02:05 PM
 
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I haven't had anyone who has bf say this to me.  I would urge you to perhaps explain how difficult it is to pump and feed.  I had to pump for my dd when she was first born because she was a premie and I felt like I lived at the pump.  The hardest thing was when I fed her and then had to pump after to increase my supply.  I can't imagine finding the time for 2 children while pumping and feeding.

 

Talk with her but let her lead the conversation.  Perhaps a local LLL leader can help you help her.  I don't want to sound judgemental but people who want to pump and give a bottle instead of bf are crazy in my opinion.  It is way too much work.  Hopefully, you can help her work through any issues she is having.

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#41 of 45 Old 06-16-2011, 06:22 PM
 
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Wow, what a snarky reaction from everybody. Let me clarify a few things.

 

1. I am a new member to mothering.com, not an existing member using a new username.

 

2. I am not "proud" of my comments (nor am I ashamed). They are just my opinions.

 

3rd, and most important: I have NEVER said that women are consciously trying to be aroused by breastfeeding, or that women who orgasm while breastfeeding are perverts. I completely resent anyone claiming that I said that, or even implied it. I said there is a MYTH by anti-breastfeeding advocates that women breastfeed because it is sexually arousing. That is so different from saying "I personally think that women breastfeed because it is sexually arousing" that I am amazed people have jumped to that conclusion.

 

4. Nor did I say anyone who has sexual feelings while breastfeeding should stop. (Good grief, I can't believe I have to clarify another thingI didn't say).

 

5. APtoddlermama - your tone is condescending. I am not "spanking" anyone, nor am I implying they should be ashamed. That's not even close to what was said and intended in my comment. I said orgasm during breastfeeding is not common. I stand by that. I did not say that orgasm during breastfeeding was impossible, nor did I say that anyone who does should be ashamed (or stop breastfeeding). Please stop trying to read anything else into my comments.

 

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It turns out your wrong.  I haven't ever experienced it personally, but remember hearing about it for the first time in a freshman women's studies class and several times after including my hospital led breastfeeding course.  You probably think it is uncommon because people don't talk about it.  They are afraid that if they talk about it, they'll get spanked by someone like you saying they have their wires crossed and should essentially be ashamed of it. And if you feel so proud of what you're saying, why did you create a new account just to hop on here and call people perverts for experiencing something that is biologically normal?   

 



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 



 



 


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#42 of 45 Old 06-16-2011, 06:58 PM
 
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You did write, "Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm." The key words are "finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing." The way in which this phrase was worded makes it seem as though the women is choosing to be aroused, as opposed to involuntarily reacting to the sensation. I'm sorry it this was misread.
 

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Wow, what a snarky reaction from everybody. Let me clarify a few things.

 

1. I am a new member to mothering.com, not an existing member using a new username.

 

2. I am not "proud" of my comments (nor am I ashamed). They are just my opinions.

 

3rd, and most important: I have NEVER said that women are consciously trying to be aroused by breastfeeding, or that women who orgasm while breastfeeding are perverts. I completely resent anyone claiming that I said that, or even implied it. I said there is a MYTH by anti-breastfeeding advocates that women breastfeed because it is sexually arousing. That is so different from saying "I personally think that women breastfeed because it is sexually arousing" that I am amazed people have jumped to that conclusion.

 

4. Nor did I say anyone who has sexual feelings while breastfeeding should stop. (Good grief, I can't believe I have to clarify another thingI didn't say).

 

5. APtoddlermama - your tone is condescending. I am not "spanking" anyone, nor am I implying they should be ashamed. That's not even close to what was said and intended in my comment. I said orgasm during breastfeeding is not common. I stand by that. I did not say that orgasm during breastfeeding was impossible, nor did I say that anyone who does should be ashamed (or stop breastfeeding). Please stop trying to read anything else into my comments.

 



 





 



 


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#43 of 45 Old 06-16-2011, 06:59 PM
 
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Also, starting off saying "Seriously, you've got your wires crossed," does not set the best tone. 


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#44 of 45 Old 06-16-2011, 07:48 PM
 
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I agree I could have started the post off better or perhaps worded it better and for that I apologise... If I had realised there was going to be this kind of reaction I would definitely have nitpicked over my semantics a little more.

 

I do think that if you are talking about women orgasming during breastfeeding, surely it is appropriate - and not implying perversion - to talk about arousal during breastfeeding. Surely someone has to feel arousal (involuntarily) before orgasm? Or is this an instantaneous orgasm without any sexual feeling beforehand? And if there is (as I assumed) arousal before orgasm, then my statement "finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm" is perfectly accurate.


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#45 of 45 Old 06-16-2011, 09:51 PM
 
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I didn't have time to read all replies but wanted to say that I felt "weird" about BF'ing back when I was young, didn't know anyone who had done it, and knew nothing about it.  We are taught today through hollywood and media that breasts are sexual.  I couldnt imagine it not being weird breastfeeding a baby when my breasts were sexual things for men ya know? 

Then, through WIC classes my second pregnancy, I was actually educated on breastfeeding and did a little reading of the handouts they gave and decided I would at least give it a try.  I mean, afterall, THAT was the real purpose for breasts (now that I was older and knew better, lol)  Turns out, nothing felt more natural in the world and it didn't feel "weird" at all and was soooo much easier for me and I have BF 5 babies since.

 

I know my reason was not being educated about breastfeeding.  I believe it is on the rise again but its not unusual for a new mom to not know anyone who has done it or have any exposure to it and therefore may not try it.  Wish I had been educated with my first or had someone who had done it.  I was asked by some girl in the waiting room at the Dr what bottles I used and when I told her I BF she responded "Ewww, why?"  Like it was gross or something, haha.  Im guessing her mother bottle fed, all her friends did and anyone else she ever was close with.  Just lack of information and exposure I suppose.


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