Apparently my son nursing is "getting his own way" - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 10-17-2011, 03:38 PM
 
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My first weighed 20lbs at 6 months and 25lbs at 9 months.  At 2 years old, she weighed 27lbs.  It's normal for children to chunk up and then slim down and grow a lot in height!  As long as everything else is okay (milestones, eating) there is no need.  My second weighed 18lbs at a year, 22lbs at 2 and 25lbs at 3.  He is decidedly not "normal."  He has severe speech delay, gluten and dairy intolerance (discovered at 4 years of age), chronic diarrhea.  My MIL kept trying to tell me "all is okay" when it was not. 

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#32 of 41 Old 10-17-2011, 03:58 PM
 
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My ds was 25 lbs at six months. He had the most delicious chubby thighs, it was adorable! Now, at nine years old, he's in the 93% for height, but only low 70's% for weight (he's kind of a string bean. Not surprising, since he takes after me, and my father, who is 6'1" and maybe weighs 160, and that's a big maybe, lol). No doctor ever told me there was anything wrong with my son's growth. Babies grow out first, so that they have extra padding for when they grow UP. :)

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#33 of 41 Old 10-17-2011, 04:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jenrose View Post

Don't be ridiculous. She was growing in height that whole time, she just went from 99th percentile down, and was always eating to hunger, drinking to thirs, developing normally. LOTS of babies taper off dramatically in the second half of the first year, especially if they put on a ton during the first half. And while it took her almost a year to gain a pound... at the end of that year, she suddenly wanted to eat everything in sight, and put on 3 pounds in 3 weeks... and at THAT point her doctor was lecturing me about her being "obese"... but then she sprouted up a couple inches a few weeks after that. I never, ever worried about her weight because she was eating regularly, had access to food and nursing whenever she wanted it, and was developmentally precocious. She knew the alphabet by 23 months, was potty trained, and counting to 10. That's NOT a kid failing to thrive. Anyone could LOOK at her and know she was well hydrated, well nourished and healthy, if anything she ALWAYS looked "wider" than the other kids around her, because she developed such a solid bone and muscle structure in those first couple years. And she had regular doctor visits, and those doctors never ONCE implied she was anything but thriving. 

 

Growth is not always 'linear' and 'on chart'. This same daughter managed to not grow an inch for two years and only put on a pound or two in that time (again, with free access to as much food as she wanted) when she was 9-ish... and then one day when she was 11 she woke up and said "Mom, my feet are farther away. She'd grown an inch overnight, and put on 10 pounds in the next few months, then leveled off again for a while. That's just normal for her. Her growth was absolutely steady for her first 6 months, then slowed, (WHICH IS NORMAL) and then she wobbled her way up to an adult height of 5 foot 4 and 140 pounds, and is just fine that way. (And if you tell me the bmi is wrong there, I'll tell you LOOK at the kid, she's not even overweight, let alone fat.)

 

I've HAD a failure to thrive baby... my second child had a chromosome disorder that causes metabolic dysfunction, and we worked constantly to make sure she was getting enough until she started growing at a pace that was reasonable for her. We worked with her physician and early intervention and went to eating clinics and I made heroic efforts to feed a baby who was so lousy at sucking that she couldn't even have a bottle. At age six, she still isn't doing the things her sister was at age 2. And still doesn't grow very fast, but has plenty of padding, and while she's not close to the "regular" charts, she's actually 75th percentile both height and weight on the Down Syndrome charts. (She doesn't have Downs, but another chromosome disorder with a similar enough body type.) And even with FTT, we NEVER had CPS involved, nor did anyone ever even once imply we should. 

 

 

Exactly. Totally ridiculous and such b.s. My babies were off the chart for weight as babies. Eventually they fell. Now they are at and below the 50th percentile. I would hope they would not stay off the charts for weight forever.
 

FIBJ, you are clearly uninformed on breastfed infant and toddler growth.

 


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#34 of 41 Old 10-17-2011, 05:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

Jenrose had a baby that was 24 pounds at 6 mo, 26 at a year, and 27 at almost 2 years. This is not how a child is supposed to grow. Doctors can step in if a child makes drops on the percentile chart or doesn't gain enough if the child didn't have a medical condition to explain the reason for the lack of weight gain. They would make the parents do things to make the child gain weight, hospitalize the child, or take the child away and put the child in foster care. Jenrose's child would be considered failure to thrive (FTT) because he fell more than 2 major percentile points on the standard growth charts. If you have a baby that is at the 95th percentile doctors expect the baby to stay around the 95th percentile. Doctors and CPS could have taken over care of her child no matter what she thinks about breastfeeding.

 

 

I know this has been addressed already, but I'll chime in with more reassurance.

 

The above comment is wrong, wrong, wrong.

 

My kids are in the 95th-99th percentile for height and weight when they're born.  But I'm 5'0.  shrug.gif They darn well don't stay at the top of the growth curve after the first six months.

 

lol.gif  Our pediatrician is not concerned and there is no worry about FTT, much less CPS.
 

 

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#35 of 41 Old 10-17-2011, 07:41 PM
 
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My sons were FTT (below even the preemie charts) at 1 month old, and one is now 98th percentile for weight (at 11months).  My  daughter was 90th+ percentile for weight and is now more like 50th.  CPS was never even a consideration, I promise you!  Of course my ped was concerned with the FTT (as is her job) but we discussed options and did what we needed to to get the boys fed.   Now they are huge, but they have hardly any chub on them at all.  They are not fat babies in the slightest - they're tall, broad, sturdy little boys.  I doubt they will stay so close to the top of the charts though, they've just gotten really active in the last couple of months as their motor skills caught up (they were preemies and had some delays) and I expect things will taper off.  They are hard to carry, especially with two of them, but that's life.  I've gotten very strong, and also, yes they ride in the stroller more than their (singleton) sister did.  Life is almost never ideal! 


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#36 of 41 Old 10-17-2011, 08:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

I am a MIL. Mothers tend to think of babies as their baby. In the ideal situation a baby is born in a supportive web of relationships. The grandmother relationship should be very important for the child and the grandmother. That relationship doesn't have to involve the mother. If you can't agree with your MIL that's okay as long as she is good to your child.

 

Your son should say something to his mother about how it is rude to talk to you that way. She can think what she wants but she shouldn't say it to you and she shouldn't say it around the baby.

 

She may be concerned about your baby's weight. It sounds like you think it is fine for a 6 month old to weigh 25 pounds. My grandson just turned 3 and weighs 25 pounds. He is just within the low limits of normal weight for his age and height. I would be concerned if my grandchild weighed 25 pounds at 6 months. Besides being concerned about the child's health it is going to be hard to carry him now and as a toddler. Either you are going to be sore or he isn't going to get carried and end up being in strollers or not getting to go places.

 

Picking away at you with comments about your relationship with your baby isn't the way to do it. There can be a concern that a breastfed baby can weigh too much because the mother nurses when other mothering things could be done to calm the baby to a very abnormal extent. You can find it online and she may know about it. I don't think from what you describe this is an issue for you and your son.

 

 

 


FIrst you say that grandma should butt out.  Then you say you'd get on your DIL's case if your grandson weighed that much.

 

For the record, it *is* fine for a 6 month old to weight 25 pounds.   Many breastfed babies gain fast and chunk up, and 6 months is right around the chunkiest age, before they get mobile and start thinning out again.  

 

OP:  I could post my DD's growth chart and some pictures to show you you don't need to worry about your 6 month old weighing 25 pounds.  My DD was born at 10 pounds, doubled her birthweight by 4 months, and was 25 pounds at 6 months, 28 (I think) at a year.   And then ... she stretched.   And stretched.   She's always been a big, tall kid, but at 8, she's got these long, strong, lean, legs and is in no way unhealthy or "obese" or whatever the apparent terror that a 25-pound 6 month old invokes. 

 

Yes, she was hard to carry.  Yes, she did not get carried or worn as much as a smaller kid might have.   But was I supposed to starve her so that I could babywear her more?   She had her growth curve, and she nursed as much as she needed to nurse.  And by the way, I practiced one-side-at-a-feed nursing, so it wasn't some kind of "getting full of sugary foremilk" issue.

 

 

Everyone has an opinion when your baby weighs more than average, let me tell you -- don't let it get to you!!!

 


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#37 of 41 Old 10-18-2011, 07:40 AM
 
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I just have a quick question for the more seasoned mamas. When did your baby finally start understanding that you would always respond to him/her? My ds is about 6 weeks and I still don't think he knows I will take care if him, he still goes from zero to screaming in half a second, but to be fair, I don't think I have a very good handle on what it is he is screaming for most of the time., I guess I just thought AP would be more intuitive and now I wonder of I'm doing something wrong? Never felt pain like when he.screamed bloody murder lsat night before his bath (which he usually loves) and clung to my neck with a death grip...I just want him to know he's safe greensad.gif

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#38 of 41 Old 10-18-2011, 11:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2ChicknLil View Post

I just have a quick question for the more seasoned mamas. When did your baby finally start understanding that you would always respond to him/her? My ds is about 6 weeks and I still don't think he knows I will take care if him, he still goes from zero to screaming in half a second, but to be fair, I don't think I have a very good handle on what it is he is screaming for most of the time., I guess I just thought AP would be more intuitive and now I wonder of I'm doing something wrong? Never felt pain like when he.screamed bloody murder lsat night before his bath (which he usually loves) and clung to my neck with a death grip...I just want him to know he's safe greensad.gif


I think a lot of that depends on the individual child.  It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong.  hug2.gif

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#39 of 41 Old 10-19-2011, 10:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post


She may be concerned about your baby's weight. It sounds like you think it is fine for a 6 month old to weigh 25 pounds. My grandson just turned 3 and weighs 25 pounds. He is just within the low limits of normal weight for his age and height. I would be concerned if my grandchild weighed 25 pounds at 6 months. Besides being concerned about the child's health it is going to be hard to carry him now and as a toddler. Either you are going to be sore or he isn't going to get carried and end up being in strollers or not getting to go places.

 

\

 

 

My son was around 25 pounds at this age and yes it was in the higher percentile but he is now 6 and is well within the normal weight range for his age and height.  Before you know it this baby will be all over the place and won't want to stop and eat as much and his weight will probably level off.  Don't worry about what other people think and remember that he is YOUR baby.  


 

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#40 of 41 Old 10-19-2011, 12:39 PM
 
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My 8mo "gets her way all the time"...If she's telling me she wants to nurse, and by extension that not nursing will make her unhappy, why the heck wouldn't I let her get her way? Thankfully my MIL, while not a BF'er herself has been pretty supportive, the only comment she made was about it being silly to BF in a car (DD was super cranky as it was about 2hours after she normally is in bed for the night and I was in the back seat with her leaned over her carseat with my shirt pulled up so she could nurse on the way home) My only response was that I could feed her or we could spend the rest of the 30 min ride listening to her scream, which did she prefer.... needless to say no more comments were made. lol.


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#41 of 41 Old 10-19-2011, 01:39 PM
 
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You're doing fine!  6 weeks is still really young.  It takes time for you and your baby to learn each others cues.  Some babies are easier to read than others.  Some are mellower than others.  My 1st DD was a lot like your DS; she'd be perfectly happy one second and instantly screaming at top volume the next; some kids are just reactive this way.  At 10, she's now my easiest child.  Responding as soon as you can and with sensitivity, even if you don't know what's wrong or when their likes/dislikes change randomly, really does make a difference in the long run.  It's supposed to feel horrible when they're so upset; that's a good sign that your instincts are working just the way they should!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2ChicknLil View Post

I just have a quick question for the more seasoned mamas. When did your baby finally start understanding that you would always respond to him/her? My ds is about 6 weeks and I still don't think he knows I will take care if him, he still goes from zero to screaming in half a second, but to be fair, I don't think I have a very good handle on what it is he is screaming for most of the time., I guess I just thought AP would be more intuitive and now I wonder of I'm doing something wrong? Never felt pain like when he.screamed bloody murder lsat night before his bath (which he usually loves) and clung to my neck with a death grip...I just want him to know he's safe greensad.gif


 


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