RANT – Top Myths the Crunchy Community States about BFing - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 40 Old 10-25-2011, 12:45 PM
 
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Meg, I'm glad you responded to FIBJ.  That needed a response and you were the only one who could give it.

 

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#32 of 40 Old 10-25-2011, 05:34 PM
 
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Yeah, blaming the mom who is following all the advice she can get is just plain nasty! 

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#33 of 40 Old 10-25-2011, 06:32 PM
 
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I'm so happy to see #6 on your list!  I had terrible pain and cracked nipples with all 3 of my children for the first two weeks and continued nipple pain until close to the 6 week mark.  Their latches were fine, my nipples just needed to get used to it I guess,,,


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#34 of 40 Old 11-02-2011, 07:24 AM
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This may be stupid, but other than weight gain, why did OP think her baby wasn't getting enough.  I didn't weigh my babes much at all (not even the first three months).  They each grew at different rates.  At their 4 month visit, they all weighed completely different.  I would have been horrified if I had to be held to a 4 oz/day standard when other indications were fine.  My first two weighed the exact same at birth (8 lb 2 oz).  At four months, my oldest was about 14 pounds and my second was over 20 lbs!  While 14 pounds is probably still "big enough", her gain between 2 months and 4 months was pretty small.  But, then she gained more than usual between 4 and 6 months.  At 1 year, baby #1 was 21 lbs and baby #2 was 32 lbs.  #2 trimmed up in the second and third year of life even though I was still nursing her.  I treated them both the same in regards to nursing.  The oldest did have reflux issues and nursed more (I thought at the time that her frequent nursing was to make up for the frequent puking).  Now, those two are 11 and 9.  They are both slim and in shape.  The oldest is still more 'petite' in body structure.  But, just like with older children, I would think that babies have individual rates of growth.  

 

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#35 of 40 Old 11-02-2011, 08:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AAK View Post

This may be stupid, but other than weight gain, why did OP think her baby wasn't getting enough.  


Hi Amy,

 

LOOONG story is here:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1322313/is-my-daughter-happy-to-starve-dh-wants-me-to-supplement-with-formula

 

Basically, she was hanging on to the 5th percentile for weight through 3 mos, then 3-4 mos fell off the chart & gained only .33 oz per day over that month. To be fair, she gained a lot of length in that month, so she was still growing. Not only was she NOT showing signs of hunger (fussiness or lethargy), she was LESS fussy than before as she got over colic, but we felt that weight gain was inadequate. Even the excellent LC I met with agreed that she probably hadn't been getting enough. (my pedi didn't freak though, she just said to go see an LC to be sure, & check back again more frequently to keep an eye on it.)

 

Ahh... so let's add that to the list of myths, "Breast is always best for baby."

 

No, breast was NOT best for my baby from when she was 3-4 mos old because she wasn't getting enough! & we can all agree that an adequate amount of formula is superior to being BFed, but not getting enough to meet energy needs.


Worst of all is the fact that I had NO IDEA she wasn't getting enough - so I'm left always feeling worried that I was starving her during that time. Awesome. 


LOL, but hey, just disregard me, because I'm a freak of nature, or a liar. I must have left my DD crying alone in her crib for hours on end, because if I had been adequately attentive to her needs, and had a strong attachment, this wouldn't happen, right?! (Or so say some in the crunchy community....)

 

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#36 of 40 Old 11-02-2011, 09:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MegBoz View Post


Worst of all is the fact that I had NO IDEA she wasn't getting enough - so I'm left always feeling worried that I was starving her during that time. Awesome. 

 



I know it's easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up about this. The important point is that you figured out there was an issue, and worked hard to correct it! You've done all the right things, in my opinion. 


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#37 of 40 Old 11-02-2011, 12:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MegBoz View Post

 


LOL, but hey, just disregard me, because I'm a freak of nature, or a liar. I must have left my DD crying alone in her crib for hours on end, because if I had been adequately attentive to her needs, and had a strong attachment, this wouldn't happen, right?! (Or so say some in the crunchy community....)

 



No, no, no -- I am glad you prefaced that with LOL because I wasn't ever thinking ill of you.  I was just curious; thank you for adding that link and info.  

 

I find that I learn the most from the people whose experience wasn't "like the book" said it should be.  If it all worked out like the book said, people really wouldn't need any help.  I do know that I place emphasis on the # of people that have success vs the problems people can run into.  I am not trying to make a mom feel bad; I want her to have positive thinking.  At the same time if a mom IS having an issue, I try to make sure I am not brushing her concerns off, and finally (this admittedly took me a while) if a mom does choose to use formula because something wasn't working-- I no longer judge.  Although, I still have a hard time with judgement when a mom just never bothers to try nursing at all.  Especially, if it is because their SO won't share the boobies!

 

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#38 of 40 Old 11-02-2011, 04:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AAK View Post

I am not trying to make a mom feel bad; I want her to have positive thinking.  At the same time if a mom IS having an issue, I try to make sure I am not brushing her concerns off, and finally (this admittedly took me a while) if a mom does choose to use formula because something wasn't working-- I no longer judge.

So before you reached this new stage of enlightenment you preferred that moms like me with low supply simply starve their babies? I'm glad I can EBF my second baby but my first - despite pumping, every galactagogue known to man, IBCLCs' help - needed about 8 ounces a day in a Lact-Aid to grow. I didn't CHOOSE formula, as you put it. I chose feeding my baby.

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#39 of 40 Old 11-03-2011, 08:21 AM
 
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Totally agree about the nipple pain - I have big nipples and babies have had small mouths, latch is fine.

 

OP - low supply/storage capacity is a very real issue that some women struggle with. glad you are still nursing!

 

i have the opposite issue.  - oversupply and OALD. Thank goodness DD is a little boobie monster, she keeps me from engorgement far better than DS did.


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#40 of 40 Old 11-04-2011, 05:59 AM
 
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#6, the myth that breastfeeding shouldn't ever hurt, drives/drove me crazy. I always had excruciating pain in the beginning with all 4 of my babies. Their latches were fine. None of us were doing anything wrong. It just hurt! I wonder if breastfeeding advocates say that because they don't want to scare mothers into not breastfeeding if they tell them it will probably hurt for the first few weeks. shrug.gif I think it's better to be honest. Then it's more likely women will work through it rather than thinking they are doing something wrong and give up.

I'm still confused about thinking baby wasn't getting enough because she stopped gaining much weight as long as she was otherwise thriving. Admittedly, I didn't read the story in the link. I've never weighed my babies regularly so I have no idea how much they gain week to week. I don't take them for WBVs monthly where I'd get a weight check, either. I pay more attention to baby's mood/demeanor and development, which has just as wide a range of normal as weight gain. I think that the medical community puts too much emphasis on weight gain and not enough on other signs that baby is thriving. Most of those weight charts are old, outdated and based on weight gain for FF babies, too. They don't apply to BFed babies.

a lot of people say to never wake a sleeping baby but that's not always good advice with a BF baby. what i read just this time with baby #4 is not to let baby go more than 3 hours during the day and 6 hours at night without breastfeeding. that's in the very beginning, though. i don't know how that applies to a 3-4 month old. although, thinking in terms of the 4th trimester, i'd guess it would apply to that age and that baby could maybe start going longer between feedings after 4 months. even then, though, i would expect a baby to nurse at least every 4 hours during the day. even adults really should eat at least every 4 hours during the day but more frequently is better.

i think there's a lot of misinformation out there and info that's presented in a confusing way. unfortunately, MDs can be a major source of that misinformation for the same reasons they are a gross source of misinformation about normal pregnancy and birth. they are not educated about normal BFing or anything else. they are educated in disease, the abnormal. they can't measure or quantify BF so they can't understand or control it. there isn't much research done on BFing because there's no money to be made from the info. i've never talked to a LC about any personal BFing issues. i've avoided them because i recall reading or hearing many years ago that they were, like doctors, not necessarily a valuable source of accurate info and help, especially if they are employed by docs and hospitals. i'm not trying to diss LCs. i'm sure there are many out there who are very knowledgeable and helpful. i think the profession is getting better. i'm not convinced that they provide consistent help.


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