Breastfeeding and Pregnancy - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 15 Old 06-06-2012, 11:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am certain the above title is probably quite popular around here!

 

I am looking for some guidance. My DS is 17 months. He is not really slowing down nursing wise and I always planned on nursing him at least until two.

 

My current issue is that we would really like to have another baby. But every time DH and I talk about it I just get so emotional thinking about how it may affect the nursing relationship between DS and I. I guess there is an enormous amount of gult on my part, I sort of feel like I am putting what we want before what I believe is best for DS. There is also no guarantee that he won't continue nursing through a pregnancy, but it seems like lots of children stop once Mama is pregnant. Plus I know if I am pregnant I will get pressure from DH to stop, it already bugs him that I am still nursing. But we love it!! Whats a Mama to do.

 

So what do I do? Anyone have this same issue, what did you do/decide?

 

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#2 of 15 Old 06-06-2012, 11:31 PM
 
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I was about to post a similar thread... except my dd is only 12 months old. Still nursing around the clock. We would really like another but I also don't want to stop nursing dd. 


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#3 of 15 Old 06-08-2012, 10:08 PM
 
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I can totally relate.  I wanted another but felt guilty, then it just happened and I nursed until I was 21 weeks  pregnant, then weaned.  It worked out ok I guess.    I did want to BF DD longer and did rush it a little because of the pregnancy, but there was no crying or anything like that, and it is very possible to BF throughout a pregnancy and tandem nurse.  Women have been doing it for centuries.  My milk did not even try to dry up even a little like most moms say theirs does when they become pregnant.  No nipple soreness either!

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#4 of 15 Old 06-11-2012, 01:58 PM
 
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I am 21 weeks pregnant and nursing my almost 18-month-old.  My milk gradually dried up once I hit the 2nd trimester, and LO is is nursing very little now - he doesn't nurse to sleep at all any more.  My first also quit nursing to sleep at bedtime when he was 15 months (he nursed to sleep at naps until I weaned him), and I wasn't pregnant.  He was 17 months when I got pregnant and 21 months when my milk dried up, and his nursing behavior didn't change AT ALL - he just started eating more food.  I tandem nursed them for 10 months before weaning the older one.

 

I feel a little bad that he's getting only cow's milk during this important toddler growing time, but it seems like it's the natural way - my body was ready for another baby, even with continued nursing day and night for both milk and comfort.


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#5 of 15 Old 06-12-2012, 12:59 AM
 
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Does my dd need to nurse less for me to become fertile again?


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#6 of 15 Old 06-12-2012, 10:40 AM
 
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I know you know this, but BFing is not all or nothing. It is ok to cut back a bit if you want to, your DS is 17 months so if you want to putting limits and/or cutting out some feedings is definitely ok. You don't have to feel guilty about that, you are still BFing him! It can be very sad no matter what the circumstance when your baby weans, but if you are ready to start trying for a new baby, it is ok to do so. Might your DS wean, yes he might, but he might not. If you are really wanting another child, it's ok to go for it!

And if you decide you aren't quite ready, that's ok too, but I wanted to help you let go of the guilt a bit. We mom's put way to much guilt on ourselves!

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#7 of 15 Old 06-15-2012, 10:45 PM
 
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I just wanted to add that for those of you wanting another baby, there is nothing wrong with waiting, and I wish I would have waited longer between babies so that I could still be giving DD the attention that she needs.  She still needs lots of 1 on 1 time that I am unable to give her, and that makes me sad.  I really think babies should be 3 years apart now that I have babies that are only 21 months apart.  I wanted another baby SO BAD after my first was born, and when she was 12 months I got preg again.  I really want a 3rd still but I know better this time and know I need to wait even tho I want another very badly  :)

girlspn- have your periods returned?  Generally if they have, then you should be fertile.  If not, then I would not try to wean at all, just follow your baby and she will begin to nurse less as time goes on and your fertility will return.  My DD was only 12 months when I conceived again and I do wish I would have waited longer.   Let her be the baby for a little longer would be my advice :)

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#8 of 15 Old 06-19-2012, 12:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1love4ever View Post

I just wanted to add that for those of you wanting another baby, there is nothing wrong with waiting, and I wish I would have waited longer between babies so that I could still be giving DD the attention that she needs.  She still needs lots of 1 on 1 time that I am unable to give her, and that makes me sad.  I really think babies should be 3 years apart now that I have babies that are only 21 months apart.  I wanted another baby SO BAD after my first was born, and when she was 12 months I got preg again.  I really want a 3rd still but I know better this time and know I need to wait even tho I want another very badly  :)

girlspn- have your periods returned?  Generally if they have, then you should be fertile.  If not, then I would not try to wean at all, just follow your baby and she will begin to nurse less as time goes on and your fertility will return.  My DD was only 12 months when I conceived again and I do wish I would have waited longer.   Let her be the baby for a little longer would be my advice :)

 

1love4ever, thanks for sharing! Did you tandem nurse?

 

My periods have not returned. My dd still nurses as much as ever... she doesn't eat very much solids yet. She's also rather small in size, so I let her nurse as much as she wants, which is very frequent, every 2-3 hours still. We really want another one though!! I guess our plan is to start ttc whenever my period returns... 


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#9 of 15 Old 06-19-2012, 03:33 PM
 
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Hi girlspn, i was unable to nurse through my pregnancy.  I had to wean when I was 21wks pregnant because I couldnt gain any weight.  Within a week after quitting bfing, I gained 10lbs!  I think if I had followed a TFdiet it would have been easier for me, but I didnt know about it then.  But, who knows.  It was too soon to wean for both of us I think.  And, by what you said about your DD still nursing all the time and being small, I dont think a pregnancy would be good for either one of you just yet.  Just my opinion, experience.  The pregnancy will take nutrients in your body for the baby, and your DD will get even less, and if shes already small and not eating much for solids, thats not good.  How is your diet?  I would look into traditional foods if I were you.  westonaprice.org has really good information on nutrition, I also like mercola.com.    Since I am really wanting another right now, but knowing I need to wait, I think in terms of "what can I do to improve my health and prepare for my next pregnancy?"  Also after looking into traditional foods, I have realized that child spacing is important, and that is how women have always done it in the past.  If you dont wait long enough between kids, your body doesnt have time to recover and restore all of its lost nutrients, minerals, etc, from your last pregnancy/lactation.

Here are some good articles for you I hope they help!  http://www.westonaprice.org/childrens-health

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#10 of 15 Old 06-21-2012, 11:43 AM
 
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I don't think you can predict what will happen. Many children will stop nursing by 20w which gets you to almost 2 which qualifies as "optimal infant nutrition" according to WHO. A smaller number of mothers don't lose their milk supply until later and some don't really loose at all.

 

I'd personally get pregnant and be open to what happens.

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#11 of 15 Old 06-22-2012, 03:37 PM
 
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I nursed through three pregnancies and tandem nursed several times. For my kids, pregnancy didn't make them want to stop nursing, and I didn't have any trouble getting pregnant while breastfeeding.


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#12 of 15 Old 10-04-2012, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello everyone! I just realized there were responses in this thread, I am still getting used to how all that works :)

 

So we had decided to start trying in August and just be open to what happened or didn't happen. And we are now expecting in May. I am almost 8 weeks and our little man has not responded to a difference in breastmilk whatsoever. He is still nursing away. So that has been a relief. The kids will be 28 months apart, I think that I thought I wanted them further apart, but I feel like we left it in God's hands and he has a perfect plan for us. We are very excited!!

 

girlspn - I would think once your periods return you will be fertile once again! And my advice would be to not rush it, it will happen when it happens. And you will so appreciate all that time you had one on one with your sweet girl.

 

Thanks for all the responses!

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#13 of 15 Old 10-04-2012, 12:15 PM
 
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Congratulations!!!

 

I have nursed through 2 successful pregnancies (tandem nursing during one) and my children never stopped.  I was also really laid back about it, and we had no reason for me to refuse them at all (I wasn't ever so sick that I couldn't handle nursing, for example), so I think that may have played a part too.  Who knows!


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#14 of 15 Old 10-05-2012, 09:48 PM
 
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I just wanted to toss my own experience in there too :-). My DD is 18 months old, nursing lots day and night, always nursing to sleep, but eating solids and a good size for her age. We do want a second LO but have decided to wait until December, maybe March before we will stop using contraception. That would make DD at least 29 months (or 32) when she becomes a big sis and I've decided that if she weans due to pregnancy at that age, I'll be ok with that. Her speech is growing by leaps and bounds and I anticipate being able to talk her through things somewhat at 2.5 to 3 years old. We've always wanted 2 kids but it wasn't until I had a nursing toddler that I realized how important timing was for me.
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#15 of 15 Old 10-05-2012, 10:14 PM
 
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My children will be about 30 months apart. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and still breast feeding my 28mo. I night weaned her last week without actually planning to because my nipples were so painful. No tears, I still feed her to sleep and I will feed her after 5am as she gets up sometime between 5 and 6:30. In between she wakes 0-3 times and asks for mummy milk. I just tell her mummy milk is sleeping and she goes back to sleep. She has increased her feeds during the day but I can just about cope now that I'm getting a break overnight.

I realise I've been extremely lucky with how things have gone so far.

I think my milk supply has decreased but I can't really tell and she doesn't seem to mind.

I plan to tandem feed unless she self-weans in the next 5-7 weeks which doesn't seem likely at the moment :-)

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