afraid of psychological impact of weaning two year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 12-03-2012, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been nursing almost continuously for 5 years now, and feel discomfort during nursing, feel dizzy after, and have torn my knee due to loose ligaments. I feel like my body can't take it anymore.
But my 2.5 y old is sooooo very bummed about no more mama milk. It is like I have shot her through the heart w a mean mommy arrow
While I feel like I can't anymore, and should respect nature's signals, my little dolly loves mama milk so very much that she walks around heart broken all day.
I feel like I am so torn.
What should I do? What is the.impact of mommy led weaning vs child led weaning beyond infancy?
TIA
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#2 of 3 Old 12-03-2012, 05:02 PM
 
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hello.

poor heart.

If you are feeling dizzy after, flags are going off. like...are you pregnant, how are your adrenals, etc. I hope you are well.

 

Is sitting her down and having a talk about how this is hurting you and it just can't go on anymore an option? Perhaps explaining how she is ready for the next step of little girl and getting her a symbolic gesture...like a nice lovey, a wallet/purse, something...maybe going through the baby album and looking at the changes what was once and will never be again. It can be a genuine moment for the two of you on equal ground. is gradually going down an option have you already gone cold turkey?

 

(I had to cut my son off when he was just 18m and it was too soon for both of us. We had an honest talk, made sure we both knew this was the last time and enjoyed every moment. I made him a baby album of himself and family up to that point. When his times to nurse came by we would go through the album both lamenting that we couldn't keep going. I would tell stories of what he was like as a baby. Also when he just needed the comfort we would fake nurse where he would press his face into my chest and rest it there for comfort. He would say things like, "I miss nursing." and I would say, "me too." And before hand I took a small receiving blanket and used that to clean any spills and also to wipe under my breast and underarms but only while still producing. It sounds gross...no wait, it is gross, but the blanket then smelled...right...and was of great comfort.)

 

I can't think of a book other than All by myself by mercer mayer...but that doesn't really seem to hit it on the button.

 

breastfeeding, in my opinion, is one of the best things of motherhood (at this age) and to stop before either is ready...is heartbreaking. But once you stop you can't go back...it'll burn you in the end. Time heals all wounds...but make sure you go through this together thus creating a new bond to replace the one that was lost.

 

Best of luck.


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#3 of 3 Old 12-03-2012, 09:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks, mamaprovides (and she does!). great pointers. 

 

with my first one, it was a simple conversation at night, at 18 months, that led to pain-free night weaning. but my younger one has pretty much told me in no uncertain terms that she is always going to be a baby. no interest at all in becoming a "big girl". so, that promise is far from a temptation for her.

 

as for talking about it, i have, and we continue to talk about it - but at night it will sometimes turn into a a series of arguments and reluctant boob offerings - all happy, but completely unproductive because it leaves me dehydrated and unwell and her, well, sort of unsatisfied. 

 

since i tore my knee, i tried telling her that since i was sick, there would be no mama milk. but seemingly happy as she seems, i will overhear a conversation between the girls with the younger one telling her sister that she is sad, because "mama milk is all gone". and then there are the moments when all hell will break loose and she will simply go on strike from mama because she thinks i am so wickedly with-holding something so dear to her.

today i told her that god took all the milk away, and i am sad about it too. (nice to be able to blame a third party!). and i really am, sad. but literally, i feel like i am breaking down.

 

as for health....god knows what the issue is. i think extended lack of sleep (co-sleep), coupled with other stressors, and leaching of nutrients and minerals, all contribute to my general lack of health.

 

at this point my milk should taste vile, but you should see how happy it makes her if she even gets the "just a tiny bit, mama" amount she begs for.

 

i feel like she is really truly sad about not getting her milk. :(

 

tonight she went to sleep holding my hair, like her older sister. but i feel miserable about her falling asleep feeling so sad. 

 

hopefully, like you said, time will heal all wounds. 

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