Multitasking While Breastfeeding - I don't know where to post this... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 05-02-2013, 04:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a 4 week old DS who I am breastfeeding and a 21 mo old DD who is weaned and active. I know with DD I gazed into her eyes or read or watched movies for hours while breastfeeding, but I don't have that luxury this time. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, but I guess maybe stories and validation. I find myself trying to do all sorts of crazy things while breastfeeding, coupled with having to put him down sometimes to react to normal toddler behavior, and then DS is screaming because he's hungry. sigh... That and when I do take time out to nurse quietly and leave DH in charge it is seen as a break for me, and I guess I need perspective on that. Maybe it is... Perspective please? I'm terrified of being alone in charge of the two kids for this reason. How do I continue to be an AP mama when there are TWO who need me at once?

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#2 of 10 Old 05-02-2013, 06:34 AM
 
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Having 2 that both needed/wanted me was the hardest adjustment I had to having 2.  Suddenly time with my first was special instead of just all the time.  And mine are about a year further apart then yours.

 

You can try setting your older one up with special toys/books etc that only come out when nursing the baby.  Make sure she gets some special time when the baby is down, to hopefully minimize neediness when you attend to baby.  Honestly, mine watched too much tv during that period.  You could also try nursing in a sling.

 

Nursing as a break...  It's hard to get that perspective post-partum.  I certainly didn't have it.  I think you almost just have to accept that it's a crazy, busy time and appreciate that your DH is doing something to try to help whether it's fair or not. 

 

On AP-ing 2 -- No one can do it perfect.  Everybody has needs and we try to balance them the best we know how. 

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#3 of 10 Old 05-02-2013, 01:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tear78 View Post
That and when I do take time out to nurse quietly and leave DH in charge it is seen as a break for me, and I guess I need perspective on that. Maybe it is... Perspective please?

 

Okay, so I'm a bit biased :)  But I think it only counts as a break if he's bringing you things to eat and drink while you are nursing...loveeyes.gif  Since otherwise you're working dang hard to make that food, and you will definitely need to get up to get something to drink and eat when you are done.  Especially since you are still healing.  How come you aren't getting full time breaks right now anyway?  Sheesh.  But I love your dh too, and I totally get that being full time on a 1.5 year old needs breaks too, and that I did sometimes "escape" parenting the older one by going to nurse in peace...Sheepish.gif


Mama to Nell (11/15/06) and Maggie (10/9/10) . AFTER 2.5 YEARS, I AM AN AUNTIE!!! joy.gifHOORAY TEAR78 and welcome Anika and Brand New Baby Boy!!!!  Circumcision: the more you know, the worse it is; please leave the decision up to your son!

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#4 of 10 Old 05-02-2013, 05:19 PM
 
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I found this period very difficult....and the return to work after baby2 as well.

now, DS2 is 14 months, and I start to feel better.

 

even if it sounds unfair, considering nursing the baby quietly alone in a room as break was very helpful.

It is nature's ''break without guilt''.

when I took breaks to go for a run or just a walk for 30 minutes by myself, I always felt kind of guilty (even though there is no reason to feel that way, when I am 23,5hours with the kids!). But nursing was a guilt-free break.

until today, I still nurse DS2 mostly in bed, laying down (except when we are not at home). It lasts 20 minutes. 6times a day. (plus I-don't-know-how-many at night). So that's 120minutes/day laying down. Guilt free! DH can,t have that long laying down!

But I have boobs that make milk, so I have this privilege.

For Ds1, he also watched a lot of videos during that period, and now, he almost doesn't watch at all.

 

no one told me how hard it is going to be with 2 when you AP and don't send kids to daycare!

I wouldn't have believed anyway!

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#5 of 10 Old 05-03-2013, 06:39 AM
 
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Have u thought about a baby sling, u might be able to get the hang of nursing LO in it when u really have to. Plus he'll probably sleep for hours once he's fed and content leaving u time for ur older child and whatever else. I absolutely couldn't live without my ring sling! But I've only nursed once or twice in it.... It's still a life saver!

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#6 of 10 Old 05-07-2013, 07:04 PM
 
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I thought I would feed my baby and my 2 year old would quietly sit beside me and we would read stories. I was so wrong! He took the opportunity of me sitting down to get into things, or he would sit beside me and bother the baby. Trying to nursing standing up while putting out fires was exhausting so nursing became quiet time for me. I 100% childproofed the main floor of the house, so there was nothing unsafe he could get into and I nursed upstairs in the bedroom with the door open so I could hear what he was doing. He would play or empty out the tupperware cupboard or dump toys everywhere, but that is okay, I'd just clean it up quickly later.

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#7 of 10 Old 05-07-2013, 09:34 PM
 
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This a great question! I'm going to move the thread over to breastfeeding as I think you'll get even more input there. smile.gif
 


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#8 of 10 Old 05-14-2013, 08:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I wanted to apologize for not responding, but I have read and appreciated all your advice. It's been a really busy time, and now DD, DS, and I are all sick with a cold. I think due to trying to multitask I have developed a latch issue (see my tongue tie thread). I'm so tired and discouraged. Anyway, thank you for your support!! I didn't want you to think I wasn't reading. love.gif

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

Auntie to Nell, Greta, Maggie, and Elsa!

Remembering our 3 losses
 

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#9 of 10 Old 05-26-2013, 08:26 PM
 
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We have a 5 yo DD and I'm still dealing with this with nursing our 8 month-old DS. Goodness I think of the leisurely hours I spent with her, just nursing quietly, holding her while she slept. Poor DS takes almost all naps in the Ergo, gets woken up All the time by my spirited girl. I'm wiping her butt while nursing, loading the dishwasher, pumping on the other side... you name it. I, too, fear he's getting short-changed a bit, but he's a growing, happy little guy who adores his big sister, so I guess we're doing alright. Hang in there!

Leigh Ann, Wife to David:, Mama to Rowan. Exhausted and loving it (most days). 

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#10 of 10 Old 05-29-2013, 01:55 AM
 
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Happy I found this thread.
Caring for my new dd and almost 3 yo DS is so so SO much harder than I ever imagined. DD spends too much time in her swing instead of in my arms like DS did as a newborn. And DS went from watching hardly any TV to watching tons. I feel like I'm constantly failing BOTH of them somehow AND my house is a mess and my poor husband is desperate for my affection and attention too. When he is home from work he is parenting DS and I'm with DD. It's HARD!

Seriously I don't know how people DO this! I can't nurse DD in a sling- just doesn't work with my anatomy. Sometimes I imagine how easy it would be and how much more time I would have if I was giving bottles of formula every 3 hrs for 15 mins instead of nursing constantly for 30 mins to an hr each time. Im dedicated to bfing but I can imagine...

Anyway no advice here just commiseration and wonderment at how anyone does this without abandoning all their standards of good housekeeping, good parenting and a sound marriage.

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