themomadance...I would send hugs your way, but I'm sure you're touched out! I felt like a monster, too. It's such an awful, complicated mix of emotions. It will get better, though. Your toddler will adjust and the marathon nursings will pass. Is there a way you could get some one on one time with your toddler? Maybe she needs that connection. I used to tell myself, over and over while nursing DS1 (actually I still do) "you're still my baby, you still need this, you're still a baby..." It helps (a little). So does setting limits, for my own sanity. A big part of it for me is feeling guilty. I feel like I chose this path of extended/tandem feeding, thinking that it would be wonderful and beautiful and natural...and it turns out I just don't like nursing a toddler. And that's ok. I'm still doing it, because I think stopping cold turkey would be hellish (for a few days, anyway) but I want to be done by his 3rd bday.
Sorry...that was all about me. I guess I just want you to know you're not alone, you're not a monster, you're doing the best you can in an intense, crazy situation, and it WILL get better one day!
bohemian momma...I know what you mean about feeling smothered. I feel like a barnyard animal when I nurse both at the same time...I don't like it at all!! How has your recovery been? Have you tried setting some limits with your toddler?