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#1 of 36 Old 10-16-2013, 10:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey Mamas,

So I'm almost 48 hours into tandem nursing my newborn and my 2 year old. I'm finding it rewarding and overwhelming all at the same time. I live in a very small town, no LLL, no other tandem nursers I know of. Is there a support thread around here? Other tandem nursing mamas who might want to start one?

Tara
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#2 of 36 Old 10-18-2013, 11:41 PM
 
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I am not nursing both at the same time but might soon enough! DD1 is 3 and will be 4 in Dec. and quite frankly I'm still shocked she's nursing even one time daily. We only nurse before bed and sadly, it's the only way to get this kid to sleep without too much pain and suffering.

My newborn is 2 months now and nursing around the clock so I'm completely DONE when DD wants to nurse at night. Doing it now currently and I still have that urge I had while pregnant to throw her off my lap. It's strange. I don't have that urge with DD2?!?! My DH thinks it's Mother Nature trying to tell me something. Lol.

How is it for you then? We SO NEED a support thread because it's hard nursing two.

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#3 of 36 Old 10-19-2013, 10:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Tillymonster, thanks for your reply! That's great that your daughter still nurses once a day. She must still need it! Did you find she started to nurse more when DD2 was born? My DS1 asks a little more frequently, but mostly seems to accept it when I tell him mama needs a rest. It is most difficult at night, because DS2 is still trying to figure this whole thing out. We night weaned DS1 a few months ago, but now he's waking and asking to nurse. I gave in last night because I was engorged on both sides!

Nursing both at the same time is heart melting (although I still occasionally experience the aversion with DS1, like you mentioned). DS1 will pat his brother, pop off the nipple and whisper "he's very cute". Ahhhhh! Makes it worthwhile.

About the aversion...you DH's argument makes sense to me. I've often wondered if it's a biological response, like supply dropping during pregnancy.

Again, thanks for replying. Hopefully some other tandem nursers will find us here!
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#4 of 36 Old 10-19-2013, 11:24 AM
 
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I'm here! I don't often nurse at the same time, but my dd2 is nursing a few times a day. She is 3 and ds is 8 months. I did tandem nursing with my 2 girls for almost a year then weaned dd1 (with pressure from dh when dd1 was 3.25 years. ) not planning on forcing dd2 any time soon. I am pretty strict with the older one nursing, mostly in the morning, nap time (very infrequent) and bed time. Once in a while if dd2 really needs it (or if I have a plugged duct or am engorged and ds isn't hungry .... hurray for toddlers that nurse!!!!) I had much less support when dd1 was still nursing at 3... no one says anything now about dd2. So glad.

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#5 of 36 Old 10-23-2013, 10:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, Chloesmama!

I'm so glad you've got more support now. It must be so difficult to keep nursing when you're feeling pressure from a LO.

I'm just reading Hilary Flower's book "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" now. Wish I'd found it while I was pregnant! It's very encouraging.
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#6 of 36 Old 10-27-2013, 01:15 PM
 
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Thank you so much for starting this thread- I'm also here! Nursing a 2yr8mo DD & 7wk old DS...my DD definitely ramped up her nursing since her baby brother arrived. She nurses first thing in the morning, before her nap and before bed. Sometimes she manages to fit in a few snacks here and there. Luckily she has been sleeping through the night unless she's sick since 25 months of age so I didn't have to night wean her.

Just curious if any of the more experienced tandem nursers out there nurse both babies to bed simultaneously....DD will go down for my DH but I think she'd prefer to nurse, I just haven't figured out how to position the two babies.

Also, I have suffered a bit w a forceful letdown and the baby is pretty gassy as a result. Does anyone know if that will settle out on its own later? I have been offering DS one breast at night bc it seems easier for him to handle. When DD wakes up I have her drain the breast that's had the night off, as it were. She's getting so much milk, she's barely interested in breakfast!

It's great hearing others' experiences. I don't know any other tandem nursers even though I'm in NYC (I guess it really is rare). In my experience, it seems to have made the transition to having a baby brother a bit easier for my DD.

Edited for spelling.
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#7 of 36 Old 10-27-2013, 03:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Reilly!

I nurse both at night. I didn't plan to, and I'd night weaned DS1 just before he turned 2, but he's been night waking and I'm finding we all get more sleep if I just nurse him back down. What works for me: I lie in a semi-recline, propped up on pillows. DS1 lies along one side of me, with his head in the crook of my arm, and nurses. DS2 lies in a similar position, but with a pillow beneath my other arm. If works pretty well, I think it will get easier as DS2 gets a bit more proficient at nursing.

I don't know anything about over-active letdown, sorry I can't offer any advice. Maybe try posting it to the breastfeeding forum separately?

I totally agree with you about tandeming making the transition easier for the older child. I still struggle, but it's early. DS1 is nursing a LOT now. Like you mentioned, Reilly, he's really ramped it up since DS2's arrival. One thing I've read commonly in other mothers' stories of tandeming is that they themselves don't enjoy it, and that they have to work hard at managing their dislike in order to continue. I wonder what it is that makes us keep at it? I have to admit that I'm trying hard to love it, but mostly I find it irritating. I just don't think DS1 is ready to wean yet. It is so difficult to respect and honour their needs while compromising our own. But I know soon his need to nurse will taper off again.
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#8 of 36 Old 10-30-2013, 12:29 AM
 
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I actually nursed both tonight at the same time and whew did I NOT love it. Then I pulled DD1 off and she said "I don't like the baby!!!" Because she wanted to go to sleep with the boobs and didn't get to. I said I know and it's hard having a sister. It really made me sad that I couldn't do that for her. I need to start taking about why its so awesome not to need nom noms I think. DD feels deprived and I don't want her to, resentment stems from that which isn't fun either and the whole point was to tandem nurse. I just can't manage it at the same time and ugh I get super crazy aversion while doing it. I have to draw the line somewhere, right? If anyone has tips on along these lines-- bring it!

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#9 of 36 Old 11-01-2013, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, you do have to draw the line. I was talking with my midwife about it, and she said that it's really important to put our needs first. Our older nurslings still have a need to nurse, but they can begin to understand that mama needs to set limits. Also, somewhere in her book "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler", Norma Bumgarner says something like about nobody liking a martyr. If we're going to nurse two, we have to be happy to do it! We need to find some way to balance everyone's needs. Not easy! It is tough to nurse both at the same time, I get the aversion, too. It's getting better. I've started a count to 10 with DS1, which helps me to feel in control a bit and gives me an end in sight. He seems to accept that well. 

 

Baby is waking now, I hope things get better for you, tillymonster!

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#10 of 36 Old 11-04-2013, 05:32 PM
 
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Sorry I don't have time to type much now but I wanted to pop in and say, "me too!" I have a 2 yo and an 11 week old. DS1 has been asking to nurse a good bit more than before the baby was born, and is much more emphatic about needing it. That has led to a few simultaneous nursing sessions but normally we don't nurse together. I still have a pretty significant aversion with the older kiddo. He does a lot of twiddling and picking at things on me and it drives me out of my mind. I frequently count him down off of the boob. Things are settling down now but we still have screaming tantrums occasionally if he is asked to wait to nurse. Fun. :-) DS2 is very easy going and rarely demands anything but a clean diaper and full tummy.

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#11 of 36 Old 11-06-2013, 05:18 PM
 
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Thank you BushMama for the tips! Thus far I haven't really felt the aversion when nursing my toddler unless I have had zero time to myself and she's taking forever at the breast. This only happens about once a week so far, but I'm managing it. I had a serious aversion while PG so this feels like relief from that at least.

Can anyone remind me at what age the baby will become a proficient, co-sleeping, side-lying nurser? I don't remember, and I am so tired, I would love to be able to doze through these night nursing sessions. We are at the nine week mark now...he's still too gassy to go w out a good burp after every feed. And he does latch side-lying, but I need to hold my breast in a way that supports his latch, if that makes sense.

Hope everyone is hanging in there!
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#12 of 36 Old 11-06-2013, 05:40 PM
 
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I don't nurse both at the same time, I lay with my girls and nurse dd2 while ds is with dh. The girls fall to sleep pretty quickly then I sneak out and hild and nurse ds until I go to bed. I am feeling ready for another bedtime routine so I can have more time snuggling with dh at night... . Iwhen dd2 was 9 months, I would nurse dd1 then tell her it was dd2s turn and roll over. I would do that now except that there are already 2 in the bed...

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#13 of 36 Old 11-07-2013, 08:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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rielly, I don't remember when DS1 became proficient at side-lying but I'm with you on hoping it happens soon! I also need to hold my breast to help DS2 latch while side lying. 

 

For those of you who tandem at night, have you ever had the older child hang over your back while you're side-lying to nurse from the top breast? Are they able to go back to sleep being up like that?

 

I've been trying some meditation techniques to get over the aversion, and it's really helping! 

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#14 of 36 Old 11-08-2013, 11:02 AM
 
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I probably should start meditating. The aversion is really hitting me these past few days. I am just finished w nursing past the ten minute mark w the toddler. Last night we did thirty minutes. I thought I would climb the walls! Today seems better so far and DH will be home to help w bed time for the first time since Monday. Thank goodness.
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I probably should start meditating. The aversion is really hitting me these past few days. I am just finished w nursing past the ten minute mark w the toddler. Last night we did thirty minutes. I thought I would climb the walls! Today seems better so far and DH will be home to help w bed time for the first time since Monday. Thank goodness.

Wow, I think I rarely go ten minutes with my toddler these days! Glad to hear today is going better for you, and you'll have some help tonight.
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#16 of 36 Old 11-11-2013, 07:14 AM
 
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I am having the hardest time with my almost-4yo in going back to sleep once daddy inevitably wakes her, she sleeps with him. She's very demanding and definitely my higher needs child. I feel like DD2 is so much mellower in comparison but it might be me knowing more. She slept through a terrible tantrum this AM from DD1. I did not handle it well.

The nursing aversion is really bad. I don't want to put baby down nurse DD1 and couldn't stand even a minute when I had to to stop her from screaming. I was hoping because she's older that she could deal with this better. No, she's really not and I lashed out at her. The emotions completely took over and I'm in tears trying to figure out how moms tandem nurse! I can't stand it. I feel a lot of resentment toward nursing DD1 now and just think it's time to stop. DD1 won't just lay down and go back to sleep! It's driving my DH and I bonkers.

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#17 of 36 Old 11-11-2013, 08:16 AM
 
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So sorry for you mamas that are having such a hard time.  I really go through stages too... seems like when my LOs are more needy and I don't have any personal space that I don't want to spend any extra time with the bigger ones attached to me (DD1 doesn't nurse any more, but she is very touchy and needy sometimes).  I try to take deep breaths and think of something I love about my DD.  most of the time I actually end up really appreciating the time together.  

 

Tilly, that sounds like a really rough situation.  Any chance that your DD1 can change sleeping situation?  It may be time to wean, but that is completely between you and your DD.  She is old enough to talk it through.  Hope it gets better soon.


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#18 of 36 Old 11-11-2013, 08:27 AM
 
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Just posting to offer myself as a resource. I just finished a 3.5 year tandem journey, just in time for my 3rd baby to arrive! Looking forward to singleton nursing but happy to share!
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#19 of 36 Old 11-11-2013, 04:18 PM
 
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Do tell dinahx!

I feel terrible things are so difficult for me and DD1 in regards to sleep. This new baby (2mo) is a loud little thing so I can't even be in the same room at night. Last night when putting DD1 to sleep she wouldn't stay in her room with me and the baby because of the noise. greensad.gif I felt bad because she ran into where DH was and woke him up to rock her to sleep! So he did. Then this AM she wanted me and I couldn't give her what she wanted, so she proceeded to freak out. The stupid thing is I could have put the baby down and just nursed DD1 back to sleep. My brain doesn't work well on 4 hours of sleep so it didn't occur to me and I was nasty to DD1 because she couldn't just lay down and be quiet. Ugh!!!

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#20 of 36 Old 11-13-2013, 09:07 AM
 
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subbing...will come back later!


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#21 of 36 Old 11-13-2013, 09:13 AM
 
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just wanted to say TIlly that my DS has to test limits to know where he stands.  They are trying to figure out their new role and make sure that you're still there for them.  Quickly while I have a few seconds a few things that have worked for us - clear expectations on the nursing and a song that we sing when nursing is over. Also eating a ridiculous amount of food and sleep/resting when you can - food and sleep deprivation give me huge aversions to DS nursing, but fixing those things will clear the aversion.  I'll post more later, but thought I would share that!

 

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#22 of 36 Old 11-15-2013, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by tillymonster View Post

I am having the hardest time with my almost-4yo in going back to sleep once daddy inevitably wakes her, she sleeps with him. She's very demanding and definitely my higher needs child. I feel like DD2 is so much mellower in comparison but it might be me knowing more. She slept through a terrible tantrum this AM from DD1. I did not handle it well.

The nursing aversion is really bad. I don't want to put baby down nurse DD1 and couldn't stand even a minute when I had to to stop her from screaming. I was hoping because she's older that she could deal with this better. No, she's really not and I lashed out at her. The emotions completely took over and I'm in tears trying to figure out how moms tandem nurse! I can't stand it. I feel a lot of resentment toward nursing DD1 now and just think it's time to stop. DD1 won't just lay down and go back to sleep! It's driving my DH and I bonkers.

Tilly, how are things now? I've been wanting to reply to this for a few days, just finding the time now...

You mentioned your DH inevitably waking your daughter...is it possible to have her sleep somewhere else? Maybe her own mattress in the same room? Could she start out the night in her own room?

I'm sorry to hear that the aversion is still so strong. I read a story from one mom talking about how she didn't want her nursing relationship to end on a bad note. She couldn't get over her aversion either, and she began weaning her older nursling. You've done amazing, nursing her for almost 4 years, and alongside the new baby, too. Do you still feel like it's time to stop? Your own sanity is so important. Feelings of resentment don't help anyone.

Thinking of you and hoping things are improving...
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#23 of 36 Old 11-15-2013, 12:28 PM
 
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Subbing, since I'm currently nursing my 20m DS2 and due with DS3 in Jan. We've already starting talking about how baby will have milkies too, but he can't have big kid food for a long time. I'm really nervous as to how DS2 is going to handle being a big brother though.
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#24 of 36 Old 11-18-2013, 01:51 AM
 
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Tilly, how are things now? I've been wanting to reply to this for a few days, just finding the time now...

You mentioned your DH inevitably waking your daughter...is it possible to have her sleep somewhere else? Maybe her own mattress in the same room? Could she start out the night in her own room?

I'm sorry to hear that the aversion is still so strong. I read a story from one mom talking about how she didn't want her nursing relationship to end on a bad note. She couldn't get over her aversion either, and she began weaning her older nursling. You've done amazing, nursing her for almost 4 years, and alongside the new baby, too. Do you still feel like it's time to stop? Your own sanity is so important. Feelings of resentment don't help anyone.

Thinking of you and hoping things are improving...

Thank you for your kind words! I'm still not doing so well with tandem nursing and made bedtime a struggle tonight because I just can't stand it anymore. It seems to be a bit easier if I'm not tired but those days are few and far between. I am finding my new baby to be quite the night owl! She'd currently keeping me up till 3am most nights. Then I'm up with DD1 at 10am but it's been earlier lately. And that's with one wake up in between to nurse. It's really hard right now. But fussy time has pretty much subsided so there is that!

I understand the sentiment of not wanting to end on a bad note. I don't either, of course, but now am finding it so hard to think back when I actually loved nursing DD1! It was a long time ago. Almost a year since I got pregnant to say the least.

I'm going to start really talking to her about her 4th bday and how we are going to stop. I wanted to think of something symbolic that just her and I would do to mark the event. I'm worried I won't have the commitment to stick with it though. Bedtime is so much harder when I can't nurse her. But it's also not something she needs. She stopped asking for it most times. Especially during the day and hasn't in a long time. I'm so torn. I'm not sure how it'll all pan out and she's been through so much I'm afraid to take this away from her too. But yeah, 4 years is amazing right?

Here's another question though, I was really hoping she would be done on her own. Perhaps by offering it for bedtime I'm not letting it happen by offering and need to stop that! I bet if I did it would just gradually taper off.

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#25 of 36 Old 11-18-2013, 06:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I wonder what would happen if you stopped offering? Maybe gradually replace it with something else, like a story or a back rub? Or try nursing for a little bit, then reading a story and then sleep time. That way she stops needing to nurse to fall asleep. Eventually the story may take over. I think having something special and symbolic to mark her weaning would really help. You've got some time to really talk about it with her, especially if you start now. I hope it goes smoothly for you.

 

Keep us posted! I hope you get some more sleep soon. 

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#26 of 36 Old 11-18-2013, 12:31 PM
 
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I would also try not offering - it sounds like she is really close, and she could be picking up on your stress about it and that's why she's clinging - sometimes when I am stressed, DS will ask to nurse because he thinks it makes me feel better too.  (He told me this at one point).  I hear you on it being *enough*.  I am teetering at that point with my DS...but DS asks to nurse all the time still.  He has GI issues that we are still working through and doesn't eat much, so I can't in good consciousness wean him.  But it's incredibly overwhelming and I have to try really hard not to be resentful at times.  I feel like we are so close to solving his issues and that if we can just do that, he will cut down significantly on nursing.  Then I think I will like it again...or at least not have to stress over it so much. 

 

Bedtime for us is also a little wacky.  I used to do the entire thing basically on my own, but the past few months DH has been doing a little "routine" with DS.  Then DS comes to bed with DD and I and nurses and goes to sleep.  Most nights he does not nurse to sleep, but rather nurses and then I tell him that the nums need to go to sleep and he rolls over and either puts himself to sleep or gets up looking for DH again.  If he got up I used to nurse him back to sleepy when he got back, but now the "rule" is that once the nums go to sleep, he can't have more....but I don't refuse him in the middle of the night.  I am going to night wean soon.  He had nightweaned on his own before DD was born, and even for a while after that he was doing pretty well, but then things sort of unraveled.  He's up 4-6 times per night.  It stinks.  The few times DH hasn't been around at bedtime, I just nurse them both down, which is hard because they entertain each other now.  Typically DS will want to find something else to do, but if I leave all the lights off and he knows DH isn't home, he won't leave the room, since there is no one to play with.  Then he will eventually just go to sleep.  Not ideal, but nor terrible. 

Tilly, I don't think it would be the end of the world if DH locked the door, and you explained to your DD that bed time is bed time and that she needs to sleep.  She will likely test to make sure that you mean it, but so long as it's done in a pleasant manner, it shouldn't be a negative thing.  I also like the idea of your 4th birthday thing - that could be turned into a really special positive thing. 


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#27 of 36 Old 11-28-2013, 07:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How is everyone doing these days?

I've had a rough couple of nights. I decided that I didn't want to nurse both at the same time. During the days, DS1 takes that quite well. At night, though, is a different story. When I tell him he must wait, he immediately starts kicking and screaming. The first night, I stuck with my policy and I felt great about it, although it was hard to listen to him scream. I was pretty tired the next day, though, because it took everyone longer to get back to sleep. The second night, I nursed them at the same time the first time he woke, and then stuck to the policy the next time. I got a bit more sleep, but was still pretty tired. Last night, I was exhausted, and didn't want to listen to kicking and screaming for a third night in a row, so I decided to nurse them simultaneously. I remember feeling a lot of resentment towards DS1 each time he woke (I think it was every time the baby did, so 5-6 times), but we all seemed to get back to sleep faster. This morning, though, DH informed me that I was pretty awful to my son through the night, saying some really mean things to him. It made me cry. We're all so vulnerable at night, and I know that's why I said things I would never say in the light of day, but I feel awful that I treated my son so poorly when he was even more vulnerable. DH has suggested we think about weaning DS1 (25 months) only because the relationship is getting so negative. He is worried about my mental health, and about how things might be affecting DS1.

I wonder if DS1 would be waking so often if there wasn't a baby in the bed. He doesn't seem to have reached any new milestones lately, and I don't think he's teething or sick. I sometimes wonder if the bed-sharing is the problem, especially last night because DS1 and DS2 seemed to wake up almost at the same second each time, if not then within a minute or two of the other. I've thought about moving DS1 to another bed completely apart from us (we don't have another bedroom), but we live in the far north. Winter is quite cold, and our loft is not well heated so I think we all need the shared body heat at night.

I keep asking myself...if so many cultures have taboos against nursing through pregnancy/tandem nursing, and if so many women have such strong aversion to it, then maybe it's not supposed to be? What would weaning look like now? We're spending the next couple of months with family, away from home, so I think now would be an awful time to do it. I am trying to gently get the process started, though.

Hope everyone else is having a better time!
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#28 of 36 Old 12-02-2013, 06:29 AM
 
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We have been walking the same road! Hugs Mamma!!! The night time stuff is so hard and it really does set a standard for how the rest of the day goes.  How is your son in terms of setting limits? My DS (a year older, so a bit different) does much better once there is a clear and consistent boundary.  He has a bit of trouble trying to learn and accept the new rules, but once they have been accepted, he does better.  Even if the new rules are more "strict" than the old "whenever" attitude, he does better knowing what to expect.  I ended up just setting some hard boundaries, and now we both enjoy the nursing relationship a lot more, and I have a lot less resentment over it.  Which makes him feel more secure and more likely to handle the boundaries.  It's kind of a self perpetuating cycle either way.  

So I was having a lot of trouble and feeling resentment towards DS (3) - his sleeping was bad, he was asking to nurse ALL.THE.TIME. and it was driving me nuts.  DH had escaped to the couch months ago, so I do all of the night time stuff by myself.  I knew that I needed to make a change before things got bad....because the more stressed about nursing DS I was, the more he sensed it and wanted to nurse.  So, one night I just up and said "no num until the sun comes up".  He doesn't like it, but he's exhausted at night so after a little whining and thrashing he goes back to sleep.  If he seems thirsty I give him water.  He still wakes up occasionally and will ask to nurse, but I just tell him not until the sun comes up, and give him hugs.  It hasn't been all that bad, actually.  At about the same time, I started limiting his daytime nursing to after breakfast and after lunch.  So he gets to nurse 4x per day, unless he's distracted by other things.  It's made a HUGE improvement in my own psyche.  And that translates to him.  Again, there are times where he asks to nurse and I have to say no, and he gets sad, but I just remind him of the next time he can nurse and offer hugs instead.  So that's been going on for a week now, and I feel much better.  Unfortunately though, it doesn't make me like nursing him any more.  I get the same joy from cuddling him...actually maybe even more since I don't feel as stressed by the nursing.  I would be happy if we could cut it down to 2x per day.  But I'll have to let this settle for a bit first.  He had been nursing an awful lot so this is a huge change.  But it's a good one.  And overall he's tolerated it really well.  

I think my overall aversion to it is just due to stress and pressure of being the only one who can do certain things.  So long as I am eating well enough, there is no real aversion to it.  But is is really hard on my body.  I want to like it a lot more than I actually do.  But I also need to address the non nursing aspect of the stress and pressure and I think that will help the nursing part.  I learned at the beginning that I was projecting a lot of the issues I had adjusting to being a Mom of two onto the nursing relationship with DS and that wasn't really fair.  So I would suggest to others that finding ways to decompress and get the much needed time to take care of yourself might in and of itself take care of at least some of the nursing struggles.  


     Mommy to DS born 11-10-10  wave.gifAnd DD born 6-3-13 baby.gif  

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#29 of 36 Old 12-02-2013, 11:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BabySmurf View Post  I learned at the beginning that I was projecting a lot of the issues I had adjusting to being a Mom of two onto the nursing relationship with DS and that wasn't really fair.  So I would suggest to others that finding ways to decompress and get the much needed time to take care of yourself might in and of itself take care of at least some of the nursing struggles.  

 

I so agree! I also strongly agree with all those who have mentioned how eating well (and drinking a LOT!!) makes a huge difference. My boys are (just turned) 3 and 16 months. The three yr old is by far the needier, and always has been high-maintenance--that has been really hard, since I often resent how his needs take so much of my attention from the baby. He has been nursing at least as much as the baby since our littlest was born, but that (thankfully!!) has started to taper off. He has actually slept through the night without nursing maybe five or six times in the last month, which is HUGE!! I did nurse them together during the night for the first 9 months or so, but I really, really didn't like it. The "big guy" would sit up and lean over my back (and yes, he did fall asleep that way--and usually I could lay him back down, but sometimes I had fallen asleep too, so he would sleep like that for a few hours and my rib cage would definitely feel it). After those first months, my older was getting heavier on my back/side, and the aversion was getting worse, so now he has to wait if he wakes up while the baby is nursing. That was really hard at first, with some of his (and my!!) worst tantrums resulting. My husband was amazingly helpful, he held the kicking, screaming boy and would often take him out of the room, offer water, banana, bread, etc., until the baby was done. Just in the last month or so that has gotten so much better--he now waits calmly almost always, sometimes even goes back to sleep without nursing, or (occasionally) doesn't even wake up! Which is hugely encouraging. He still nurses to sleep for nap and bedtime, and nurses pretty frequently throughout the day unless he's distracted, and usually once or twice during the night. Now I'm concerned about what we'll do if/when we get pregnant again with both boys still nursing so often. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

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#30 of 36 Old 03-21-2014, 08:34 AM
 
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I just found this thread, yay! We have been tandem nursing for 2weeks now, and my 2 year old is having a tough time. First we had an emergency c section which meant my toddler was without me and nursing for 3 days, then she got a cold shortly after me and baby came home. Lots of reason to be clingy.... Long days and longer nights. Reading this gives me hope 😊 I'm feeling better today. With surgery recovery, newborn and tandem nursing I was frazzled.
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