When did it "get better" for you? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 10-31-2013, 01:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello - my son is three weeks old and I'm a first time mama. So far he has been fed breast milk exclusively and I want to continue with that. We've had our share of bumps in the road but from reading other's stories it sounds that is normal. My "issue" right now is that while I believe "breast is best", I'm finding that I do not enjoy breastfeeding. I find it pretty darn unpleasant actually. I'm not bleeding or cracking or infected or anything like that, I'm just not into it. My nipples are so sensitive to the touch, I leak constantly at night, I just... I don't like it, and I wonder sometimes how much longer I can keep doing this if I'm constantly wishing for him to be done everytime he nurses. I had a really rough night and even found myself googling "i hate breastfeeding" this morning just to see what would come up. Lots of people seem to say that "it gets better", so I'm wondering... WHEN? If you can relate to my feelings and felt that it got better for you, please share. I'm really looking for a safe space to vent here, so I would appreciate it if responses were kept judgement-free. Thanks.

My wife (30) and I (32) have been legally married since 2006. We are proud queer mamas to baby W, born 10/10/2013.
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#2 of 15 Old 11-01-2013, 02:28 PM
 
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Hi Sphinxy! I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I had a tough time at the beginning too. It was so much harder than I thought it would be. My nipples were sore and it really hurt when DS latched on. I didn't want anything touching my nipples because a slight brush made me wince. I would dread the evenings when he would cluster feed. I found that at one month things got a little better. Then at 2 months they got even better-- I woke up one day and my nipples didn't hurt anymore. Since then they have felt totally normal. I'm still a little leaky but that has greatly improved too. That took a little longer. Breastfeeding is a lot more pleasant when it doesn't hurt. Sometimes you just have to stick it out. 2 months was key for me. It's rough when they are little because they can't hold as much food and they aren't as strong so they nurse all the time and it takes them a long time. They go through so many growth spurts. Plus, you have all the postpartum hormone stuff and you are still healing. It does get better. At 4 months, I do enjoy it much more. I even feel a little sad when he nurses for a short time.



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#3 of 15 Old 11-01-2013, 03:32 PM
 
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I had to respond because for a while with my babe I felt so similar! I had anticipated nursing being this beautiful , enjoyable thing, and at first it really wasn't! I remember crying to my DH, I thought I was going to love this, and I don't!

But, you know what? After about 8 weeks, everything become much easier, and now at 7 months every nursing session is that loving, beautiful moment I had anticipated. <3 You're doing great! Just hang in there because it will get better!

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#4 of 15 Old 11-01-2013, 04:16 PM
 
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I remember thinking to myself often, "When does it get easier"? I asked some people too. Like kat216, there were lots of tears involved.



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#5 of 15 Old 11-01-2013, 04:44 PM
 
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I agree with everyone else. If you wish to continue I would give it about six to eight weeks. It does get better and it's so much easier than bottle feeding!!

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#6 of 15 Old 11-01-2013, 05:28 PM
 
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For me it got physically easier and more routine around 6-8 weeks, but now at 12 weeks, I find myself guiltily anxious for when she starts eating. But, the road has been particularly rocky for us with supply issues, so I imagine it's more tiring than a healthy BF relationship.

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#7 of 15 Old 11-02-2013, 06:22 AM
 
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First 3 weeks were the worst! So painful I would sob every feed. But after the 3 week growth spurt were my lo spent literally only slept 6 hours sleeping in 3 days and the rest was eating/diaprr changes. It got sooo easy. No pain I can sleep right through now!
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#8 of 15 Old 11-02-2013, 07:42 AM
 
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With my first, it started to get easier all round at about 4months.

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#9 of 15 Old 11-02-2013, 09:05 AM
 
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Also keep in mind it's not really a linear thing. Something gets better (like when baby can hold herself up better and relatch on her own) but then she also starts getting more distracted by her environment and so it takes longer and exposes your nips in public. Or she gets into a great predictable rythmns and sudden has an odd off day or several days and you think it's all been for naught, and then se gets right back into that rythmn suddenly.
It's a wild ride for sure!

I think knowing that I will master new challenges with greater ease as This relationship matures helps keep me sane.

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#10 of 15 Old 11-02-2013, 06:17 PM
 
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We had such a tough time BFing at the beginning. You are definitely not alone. Like many others it got much better around two months and I actually started looking forward to feedings.

The best advice I got was to take it one day at a time. See if you can make it through today and deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
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#11 of 15 Old 11-17-2013, 07:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to drop back in and say thanks to all who responded. We are still trucking along, one day at a time. And it's been at least a week now since I last cried through a feeding. What a roller coaster!
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My wife (30) and I (32) have been legally married since 2006. We are proud queer mamas to baby W, born 10/10/2013.
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#12 of 15 Old 11-17-2013, 03:51 PM
 
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Hey Sphinxy, just saw this thread and wanted to respond.

We had a rough start with breastfeeding (latch problems, cracked nipples, blanching which is incredibly painful, etc.) and I was so determined to make it work. I kept thinking "let's see how I feel by next week" and it did get easier. I think around week 6 things started getting better, less pain and I actually started enjoying feeding A. Now, at 8 weeks, it's become much more like the warm, fuzzy, bonding experience I was expecting earlier. Partly I got used to the pain, it's also less intense, the other part is that everything has gotten easier over the past 2 weeks. I can read A's cues better, he's crying less, we've gotten better at burping him... The whole experience has become much more pleasant so I think that's a big part of it.

I hope things become more rewarding for you too as you continue on this journey.

P.S.: I hate "breast is best"! It's got a total guilt trip built into it. Whatever works, keeps baby healthy and you sane is best!

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#13 of 15 Old 11-17-2013, 09:47 PM
 
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You're just about over the hump. It all starts getting better at about 6 weeks. By 3 months it's pretty simple, and by 6 months it's easy peasy.


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#14 of 15 Old 11-18-2013, 01:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post

With my first, it started to get easier all round at about 4months.

Oh yay that means one more month for us? I have a 3mo (ok not till the 27th but close enough) and I'm in the process of tandem nursing my older 3yo DD. I really am NOT enjoying it right now and this is my second time around. DD2s latch is horrid when it used to be so sweet and gentle. I assume it teething. When I latch DD1 for bedtime I get such baaaad hebbie jebbies I want to toss her off my lap and run screaming from the room!

So yes, I'm subbing right now because I am not liking breastfeeding this time around either! You aren't alone.

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#15 of 15 Old 11-18-2013, 03:38 AM
 
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Wait till baby starts getting mobile then it's really easy!

I hear you though my five month old goes in spurts of not sleeping good and it makes me hate night time! My husband I swear clutches to how baby nurses to sleep, which really irritates me. But I keep trying to remind myself this too will pass its just tough when you are in it.

Good luck, keep up the good work.
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