Have you ever breastfed someone else's baby? - Mothering Forums

Have you ever breastfed someone else's baby?

View Poll Results: Have you ever breastfed someone else's baby?
Yes 15 34.88%
No 22 51.16%
Is there another potential option? Hmm well here's a spot for you. 6 13.95%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll
mamazee's Avatar mamazee (TS)
10:51 AM Liked: 6460
#1 of 38
02-11-2014 | Posts: 7,246
Joined: Jan 2003
I never have, but I do have two friends who would breastfeed each other's babies.

What about you? Has this ever come up? WOULD you ever do it or let someone else breastfeed you baby?
Backroads's Avatar Backroads
11:49 AM Liked: 358
#2 of 38
02-11-2014 | Posts: 235
Joined: May 2013

I voted "Other" because while I have never done so, I have nothing against the concept, and if a friend or family member, for whatever reason, asked if I would, I probably would oblige.


annlea's Avatar annlea
10:45 AM Liked: 659
#3 of 38
02-12-2014 | Posts: 121
Joined: Nov 2013

My past two births I had so many issues breast feeding. My boobs were beyond engorged but I could NOT get out a good amount at all. And the lactation nurses at my hospital were an absolute joke or had no idea how to help me. They didn't even really try to help. This time around **deep breaths deep breaths** 

 

But if I can't yet again I would totally wish I had someone to breast feed my baby. It would kill me to see that (which may be dramatic but I have a lot of feelings hooked on to this) but in the end I am having formula be my absolute last resort. Formula is an option but I would rather do other things


newmamalizzy's Avatar newmamalizzy
11:41 AM Liked: 539
#4 of 38
02-12-2014 | Posts: 1,653
Joined: Jul 2010
Comple
Quote:
Originally Posted by annlea View Post

My past two births I had so many issues breast feeding. My boobs were beyond engorged but I could NOT get out a good amount at all. And the lactation nurses at my hospital were an absolute joke or had no idea how to help me. They didn't even really try to help. This time around **deep breaths deep breaths** 

But if I can't yet again I would totally wish I had someone to breast feed my baby. It would kill me to see that (which may be dramatic but I have a lot of feelings hooked on to this) but in the end I am having formula be my absolute last resort. Formula is an option but I would rather do other things

Completely off topic of the thread, but that was exactly what happened to me with breast feeding my daughter! It was so painful (in more ways than one.)
blessedwithboys's Avatar blessedwithboys
12:18 PM Liked: 3399
#5 of 38
02-12-2014 | Posts: 3,559
Joined: Dec 2004
My roommate and I had babies two weeks apart. We both EBF but she was against sharing because it felt wrong to her. I was against it because she was sexually promiscuous. Otherwise, I would have done it.

When my ds was 3mo, my sister left her 12mo dd with me for a few hours and asked me to nurse her if she seemed to need it. I latched her on but she wasn't too in to it.

When my ds was 4yo and still nursing 1x/day, my friend left her newborn baby with me with only one bottle of BM. She disappeared for hours and the baby was screaming from hunger so I nursed her, both sides. Don't ask, don't tell. Judge me if you want!

No one else has ever nursed my kids. I know this BC I never left them.

My friend once left her 3mo with her mom and got stuck in traffic. Her mom ran out of BM and didn't have ABM on hand so she dry-nursed her granddaughter just for comfort, with her daughters blessing. It was really sweet bc she had had her kids in the 70s and had been discouraged away from nursing by the OB after her c-secs, so after twenty years she finally got to experience breastfeeding.
pamelaRRRR's Avatar pamelaRRRR
06:19 PM Liked: 457
#6 of 38
02-12-2014 | Posts: 195
Joined: May 2013
Yep. It was no big deal. A friend watched my first for a day while I had to go to a conference and he wouldn't take a bottle. We had babies close in age so she just nursed him.

Fast forward a year and she was pregnant with a 15-month old and her milk was gone. Her daughter pushed my son out of the way and got some milk when I was visiting from out of town.

I nursed her new baby a few times, and another friend's when I watched him for her to go to a concert.

I have no problem with someone I trust.
mmmveggies's Avatar mmmveggies
11:50 AM Liked: 9
#7 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 11
Joined: Feb 2014

My friend's daughter just had a baby in jail, and her oldest daughter is going to take care of it. When I heard that, I thought "welp, formula for this kid" but she's gonna breastfeed! :joy She has an 18 month-old who is nursing so she still has milk. Such a great gift to give your little niece or nephew.


rachelsmama's Avatar rachelsmama
11:58 AM Liked: 31376
#8 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 1,560
Joined: Jun 2005

I voted "other" because I fully support cross-nursing and would have done it, but there just happened to never be a need.


blessedwithboys's Avatar blessedwithboys
12:47 PM Liked: 3399
#9 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 3,559
Joined: Dec 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmmveggies View Post
 

My friend's daughter just had a baby in jail, and her oldest daughter is going to take care of it. When I heard that, I thought "welp, formula for this kid" but she's gonna breastfeed! :joy She has an 18 month-old who is nursing so she still has milk. Such a great gift to give your little niece or nephew.

 

 

Aw, so bittersweet for that lil one!


erigeron
01:06 PM Liked: 5728
#10 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 2,342
Joined: Oct 2010

I would do it but it would have to be someone I'm pretty close to. The situation has never come up. I've been so engorged since my son was born, and I wish I had a close friend who could lend me a nursing toddler! 


farmermomma's Avatar farmermomma
01:41 PM Liked: 3457
#11 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 937
Joined: Oct 2012
I would willing nurse another's baby now that I have good supply. I think I would get pretty jealous watching my babe nurse from another. There would have to be a darn good reason. And even then I think it would be really hard for me. Oh the baby/momma relationship!
incredikat's Avatar incredikat
03:16 PM Liked: 18
#12 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 42
Joined: Jan 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by FarmerMomma View Post

I would willing nurse another's baby now that I have good supply. I think I would get pretty jealous watching my babe nurse from another. There would have to be a darn good reason. And even then I think it would be really hard for me. Oh the baby/momma relationship!

 

Yup same here. I would nurse another baby no problem. When DS was maybe a month old, my SIL offered to "take him off our hands" so we could have a break. We said no, because he "might" be hungry (ha! he was nursing 24/7), and she offered to nurse him if that was the case. But I just felt really wierd with that. I also wouldn't really trust her with my kid though. But yeah, there would definatly be jealousy involved!


Marcimama's Avatar Marcimama
03:28 PM Liked: 247
#13 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 1,171
Joined: Jan 2007

I voted "no" but probably should have voted "other"... I have comfort nursed (not very successfully, as it didn't "take" and there wasn't much interest on her part) my daughter (who joined our family via adoption). Our son's birth mom nursed him as a baby... so my son has been nursed by someone other than me... and I wouldn't feel uncomfortable about nursing some one else's child if the need arose. 

 

Now... Read this! Grandma Nurses Orphaned Twins


ihave7kids's Avatar ihave7kids
06:39 PM Liked: 363
#14 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 120
Joined: Apr 2012

I would have no problem nursing someone else's little one if the need arose, although I haven't done it to date.  Don't think I'd want my baby or toddler to nurse with someone else...maybe if I had  a sister I might consider it with someone that close.

In the nursing mom's group I belong to,  one of the moms told a story about a friend who was diagnosed with a serious illness just after giving birth.  She needed meds that weren't safe for baby, so she couldn't nurse.  All her friends who had babies donated bottles of their milk, so her baby never needed formula!  Isn't that a great story?  And the little girl (now a preschooler) has never been sick because she got antibodies from so many sources!!


bayosgirl87's Avatar bayosgirl87
07:36 PM Liked: 162
#15 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 163
Joined: Dec 2010

I would have no problem with breastfeeding someone else's baby if the opportunity arose and it didn't interfere with my own son's nursing needs. I would let someone else breastfeed my son if I couldn't and I knew they were d/d free.


AllyFolsom's Avatar AllyFolsom
08:09 PM Liked: 261
#16 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 90
Joined: May 2013

Well I voted no. I tried to nurse a friends baby before but the baby wasn't having itlol. I wouldn't mind nursing someone's baby or vice versa.


rednightingale's Avatar rednightingale
08:21 PM Liked: 34657
#17 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 64
Joined: Feb 2014

So my sister nursed my second baby when I had an appointment that went longer than expected and I left him with her. (We had discussed it ahead of time; in fact, it was the reason I was comfortable going to the appointment; I knew that she would be willing and able to nurse my baby if he needed it.) I once tried to nurse her daughter (again, with her knowledge of it and blessing to do so), but she was a bit older and really wasn't interested since I wasn't her mommy. 

 

I did breastfeed another woman's baby in a strange situation once, though. I witnessed an accident happen right in front of me shortly after the birth of my second baby and I stopped to make sure that this woman was okay. It turned out that she had two children in the car with her, one of whom was an infant slightly older than my young infant. She was in extreme pain from the accident - her sternum made contact with the steering wheel - we later found out that she had cracked it - and couldn't hold her baby let alone nurse, so I offered to nurse her baby before her husband took her to the hospital to be checked out. It was a really cool experience to be able to help her out that way; we kept in contact for a while afterwards though we lost touch over time due to life circumstances, but I will always remember that experience.


SunshineRocket's Avatar SunshineRocket
09:01 PM Liked: 70
#18 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 82
Joined: Mar 2012

So I am not alone! When my son was 4 months old, a friend of mine left her 2 week old baby with me- supposedly for just an hour but it turned into all day (well over 10 hours) and I could not reach her by phone. I was seriously panicking and didn't know what to do. After several hours of the baby fussing, I nursed her on both sides and she went to sleep. I had to nurse her a few more times before her mom showed up. I was afraid the mom had been in an accident but she just decided that she needed to be "away" for awhile. She was having a hard time emotionally since her husband abandoned her just before the birth and had taken her 2 year old son- so no hard feelings. Glad she trusted me enough. I ended up watching the baby a few more times in the coming weeks and nursing her- the last time I saw them before they moved away, the baby was 3 months old and was NOT interested in nursing from anyone but momma!

 

I wanted to add that I knew from previous conversations with the mother that cross nursing was acceptable in her culture and religion. I think if you're given the choice between nursing an exclusively breastfed infant or feeding them something else (cows milk or formula?) breast milk is clearly the ideal choice. 


TheSchoolGuy's Avatar TheSchoolGuy
10:32 PM Liked: 10
#19 of 38
02-13-2014 | Posts: 8
Joined: Jan 2014

HUH??? Is that even healthy? nono02.gif


kitteh's Avatar kitteh
12:05 AM Liked: 552
#20 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 1,540
Joined: Jun 2009
I haven't done it, but I would. And I would want my daughter to be nursed by someone if anything ever happened to me. I think breast milk is important, but the closeness of the physical act is also really important for their emotional development, I think. If I weren't able to give her that, I would still want someone else to.
rachelsmama's Avatar rachelsmama
07:06 AM Liked: 31376
#21 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 1,560
Joined: Jun 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSchoolGuy View Post
 

HUH??? Is that even healthy? nono02.gif


Yes, it can be healthy.  There are a few health issues to keep in mind, but there are health/safety issues to watch out for with anything that a baby could be fed.  


Voondrop's Avatar Voondrop
08:56 AM Liked: 109
#22 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 345
Joined: Oct 2012

I played wetnurse for the lady I was babysitting for. She was my dental hygenist & I offered to babysit when she was 5 months along during my cleaning as I had just found out I was expecting #2. She was a single mom, Korean (not sure of the BF culture there) & delivered 3 months before I did. She went back to work 2 weeks after he was born, was able to come to my house & nurse him over her lunch break so I nursed him the rest of the work day for her until my baby was born.

I'm pretty sure it was his nursing that brought on a fast labor & after all of his stimulation when my milk came in it was agony. I was checking my bra size on the computer every hour because it kept going up & up until stopping at 46" or an I cup. I nursed them both until she wanted to start him on solids & kept dropping nursings except for nap time.


ecohudler's Avatar ecohudler
12:13 PM Liked: 6
#23 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2014

I have nursed multiple of my friend's children and many of my mom friends nursed my little one when he was younger as well.  I remember going to my local natural moms group on Facebook and posting things like, "Need a sitter who is okay with wet nursing."  If you had told me ten years ago I'd be asking for things like that -- I'd have looked at you like you had two heads.  But after my first was born (he's 7) it suddenly became second nature.  Love it, it's good to know that you have people that are close enough to you that you can trust them with things like that.  It was a life saver with my youngest when I was so stressed out and tired that I just wanted to take a nap.  I could -- and just let someone else watch the little man!


Homeschool Quee's Avatar Homeschool Quee
06:52 PM Liked: 8
#24 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 9
Joined: Feb 2014

My friend tried to breastfeed twice and literally was dry as the sahara. Same genetic disposition as her own mother.

A friend offered to breastfeed her 2nd baby. But her hubby was not into the idea. A little sad about it, because it could have been a really great opportunity.


blessedwithboys's Avatar blessedwithboys
07:10 PM Liked: 3399
#25 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 3,559
Joined: Dec 2004

Yes, after only two breastfeeds, a mother would be fairly dry.  The first two feeds would likely take place in the first few hours after birth, when a mother had only colostrum.  The milk takes a few days to come in...perhaps 40 or so feeds if you calculate a feed every two hours or so for 2-3 days.  

 

I get so pissed off when I hear of a mama missing out on nursing due to misinformation!!!


mmmveggies's Avatar mmmveggies
07:32 PM Liked: 9
#26 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 11
Joined: Feb 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Voondrop View Post

I played wetnurse for the lady I was babysitting for.
It's funny, I didn't even think how common this used to be in societies that had wet nurses. Every royal for hundreds of years nursed from a woman who wasn't their mom.
Homeschool Quee's Avatar Homeschool Quee
07:38 PM Liked: 8
#27 of 38
02-14-2014 | Posts: 9
Joined: Feb 2014

Oh totally. She tried for 2 weeks. Baby lost a lot of weight. She had multiple lactation assistants and Le Leche community members there with her -- it just wasn't happnin.  So sad because she wanted it so much. 

Bottom line, she wanted to allow her friend to nurse for her. But her husband wouldn't allow. 

To me - that part sucked even worse. To work so hard for two weeks, then to have to put the child on formula because hubby feels awkward.  

Geez.


uzra_hashmi@rediff's Avatar uzra_hashmi@rediff
12:12 AM Liked: 5
#28 of 38
02-15-2014 | Posts: 371
Joined: May 2004

I belong to a community and background where breastfeeding someone else’s baby (usually in family and well known social relationships) is quite common. It is even inter-generational (involving grandmothers or grandaunts). Besides a baby’s vital need for sustenance, mother to mother relationship and personal bondage also matter. I have been in cross-nursing relationship with my co-wife (my husband’s first wife) and two friends, and sometimes under emergency situations involving others as well. I am told that I myself was sometimes breastfed by my father’s aunt and the wife of my cousin brother; while the former is no more, the latter continues to convey warmth of that relationship.

Breastfeeding another woman’s baby is an issue on which the discussions in this Forum in the past have shown widely different attitudes. It is only courteous that we respect each other’s views, beliefs and actions. Dr. Virginia Thorley of Queensland is a reputed international expert on breastfeeding and has done pioneering work on Mothers Support Groups with deep humanitarian and feminine concerns. She had done a cross country survey about three years ago on the very issue in this Forum, namely, breastfeeding other’s baby and the practice of cross / shared nursing. The same is also available on the net and can be tracked by first going to <www.virginiathorley.org> I commend to the interested members here to go through her research findings as they contain objective analysis, based on case studies, of the ground realities from all the relevant angles.

Uzra


ecohudler's Avatar ecohudler
05:30 AM Liked: 6
#29 of 38
02-15-2014 | Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post
 

Yes, after only two breastfeeds, a mother would be fairly dry.  The first two feeds would likely take place in the first few hours after birth, when a mother had only colostrum.  The milk takes a few days to come in...perhaps 40 or so feeds if you calculate a feed every two hours or so for 2-3 days.  

 

I get so pissed off when I hear of a mama missing out on nursing due to misinformation!!!

I could be wrong, but I read that person's post as she tried to breastfeed twice -- as in with two different children -- not twice as in two times with one child :)


Naturemama23's Avatar Naturemama23
08:58 AM Liked: 17
#30 of 38
02-15-2014 | Posts: 108
Joined: Feb 2014

I voted other, not because I wouldn't but because I haven't. I have, though pumped milk for a friend who was unable to breastfeed but still wanted her baby to get the nourishment of breast milk.



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