Pinching while nursing? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 02-15-2014, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi All,

My 12.5 month old is constantly pinching and/or scratching me while nursing... I feel like I have tried everything to curb it: showing how she can give me 'gentle touches' while nursing, removing her hands, saying 'ouch' (which she thinks is funny), putting a pillow between us, giving her at toy or something else to play with, to no avail... I haven't tried de-latching too often, so I guess that's my next tactic.  Has anybody else had a similar experience?  What worked for you to kick this annoying habit?!

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#2 of 24 Old 02-17-2014, 04:26 AM
 
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This is really typical and annoying. Some parents wear a necklace with large beads the baby can fiddle with. You can also try holding her hand so it's being held rather than pinching.

Good luck!
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#3 of 24 Old 02-17-2014, 05:46 AM
 
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My daughter also did this at this age. I tried all the same things to get her to stop mentioned in bith posts. Eventually I had to interrupt the nursing sessions when she pinched. It only took her a couple times to learn that if she hurts Mommy she doesn't get to nurse. We went on to nurse for just over 2.5 years. She self weaned.
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#4 of 24 Old 02-18-2014, 01:16 PM
 
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LOL I could've told you not to say ouch. For mine that was the best part of that game :). I completely agree that de-latching is the most effective tactic. That was the only thing that worked for us as well and didn't take but a couple of times to make it stop. They never wanted to give up nursing for their game. 


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#5 of 24 Old 02-18-2014, 05:15 PM
 
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I hold their hands still or put a lovey blanket in between their pinchy fingers so they have an interesting texture to touch.
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#6 of 24 Old 02-18-2014, 10:01 PM
 
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I think it's biological, honestly, or at least starts out that way with the younger babies before it becomes a habit.  I could usually get mine to play with their own hair or their ears, mostly because I noticed them doing that too, and then I'd redirect their hands there when I was tired of being clawed.  

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#7 of 24 Old 02-19-2014, 07:43 AM
 
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My DD did the same thing. I used the delatching method with great results. When she started to scratch, I would delatch her and gently say "no scratching". Repeat as necessary. In the beginning, I had to do this several times in one nursing.

Jennifer, first time Mom, working full time, married to Paul. Katherine "Kate" Mary Lou was born 8.10.10.
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#8 of 24 Old 02-19-2014, 12:26 PM
 
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This is a very common baby reflex; they pinch around to help stimulate a faster letdown. Thus, it is a bit difficult to curb due to the fact that it is an instinctual behavior. I have been successful with getting rid of this behavior with all three of my children by unlatching, setting down, and saying, "No pinching." You don't need to quit nursing, just wait to start again for about 30-60 seconds. Be consistent, and hopefully you'll get through this phase quickly. Just remember: as with any behavior, the longer it's been going on, the more difficult it will be to stop.
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#9 of 24 Old 02-19-2014, 01:19 PM
 
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In my experience, both as a mother and as a doula, little ones do not understand why not to do something unless they experience it themselves.  So, pinch her back.  Let her feel how it feels.  Say, "See, that doesn't feel good!  That's an owie!  Please don't give mama an owie -- it hurts!"  This can also work with biting.  Bite back, gently but firmly so the child feels what it feels like.

 

The felt sense is the best teacher...Otherwise, words really don't communicate the sense of why we don't do it.

 

Hope this helps.

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#10 of 24 Old 02-22-2014, 09:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Catherine_Stone View Post
 

In my experience, both as a mother and as a doula, little ones do not understand why not to do something unless they experience it themselves.  So, pinch her back.  Let her feel how it feels.  Say, "See, that doesn't feel good!  That's an owie!  Please don't give mama an owie -- it hurts!"  This can also work with biting.  Bite back, gently but firmly so the child feels what it feels like.

 

The felt sense is the best teacher...Otherwise, words really don't communicate the sense of why we don't do it.

 

Hope this helps.

 

I'm sorry, but I don't agree with this at all. This sort of behavior encourages retaliation. 'An eye for an eye'. It says that it's okay to hurt someone back if they have hurt you. 

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#11 of 24 Old 02-22-2014, 08:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mollysmom31 View Post

Hi All,
My 12.5 month old is constantly pinching and/or scratching me while nursing... I feel like I have tried everything to curb it: showing how she can give me 'gentle touches' while nursing, removing her hands, saying 'ouch' (which she thinks is funny), putting a pillow between us, giving her at toy or something else to play with, to no avail... I haven't tried de-latching too often, so I guess that's my next tactic.  Has anybody else had a similar experience?  What worked for you to kick this annoying habit?!
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#12 of 24 Old 02-22-2014, 08:20 PM
 
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Delatching is the best,if you pinch back the little one,don't understand,he might think you are just hurting him.We must remember their nails and teeth are sharp,they are just stimulating their senses,not that they are purposefully hurting you.
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#13 of 24 Old 02-23-2014, 08:49 PM
 
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My daughter did this she would leave bruises sometimes ugh. However she never did it for amusement or a reaction it was more of her falling asleep and grasping too hard or something. I found just moving her hands or a necklace to grasp helped
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#14 of 24 Old 02-23-2014, 09:11 PM
 
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My DD loved to pinch the underside of my biceps and the backs of my hands. She nevee attached to objects for comfort... just me! I found delatching the most effective tactic, too.
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#15 of 24 Old 02-24-2014, 06:45 AM
 
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Oh, I can help! Put socks over their hands during daytime nursing. At bedtime, swaddle - I had to use the heavy-duty velcro piece from a Halo sack. Buy a couple new large interesting pendants on 24" chains. Start directing attention to face parts with gentle touches (nose. Eyebrow. Forehead.) onboth your faces. Pay attention to poops! For me, the frenetic energy before poops happen made pinching really pronounced, so constipation is NOT your friend! I would hold up his fingers after he pinched and run my thumb on his nails and tell him 'no nails on mama. That hurts. I will put sway the milkies if you do it again'. This was on the principle; he didn't understand but I looked him in the eye and got the vibe across so he could get familiar with it for the months ahead. This was a short-lived phase I didn't teach him to stop, he had to outgrow it (as many other things). Both my kids did it at the same age. I did holler NO a couple times and stomp off when I was fed up. It's a mighty irritating phase!
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#16 of 24 Old 02-24-2014, 01:05 PM
 
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Totally normal. For my 15 month old (who loves to twiddle the other nipple, drives me bananas), I just remove her hand and place it somewhere else (or hold it). As many times as it takes. Now it only takes a couple of times to remind her. I also will redirect...give her a wad of my hair to play with. Or she likes to poke my belly button. Which is weird but not as annoying.

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#17 of 24 Old 02-24-2014, 06:08 PM
 
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Totally normal. For my 15 month old (who loves to twiddle the other nipple, drives me bananas), I just remove her hand and place it somewhere else (or hold it). As many times as it takes. Now it only takes a couple of times to remind her. I also will redirect...give her a wad of my hair to play with. Or she likes to poke my belly button. Which is weird but not as annoying.
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#18 of 24 Old 02-24-2014, 06:12 PM
 
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He pokes my belly button too,I really find it funny..he looks at it as if he's questioning himself,as to what is it.
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#19 of 24 Old 02-27-2014, 12:21 PM
 
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Oh yeah, that is a frustrating phase!  Definitely de-latch when baby does this and firmly say no.  If she does it three times end the nursing for ten minutes or so.  My daughter and son did this, she would think it was so funny when I'd say ouch it took me a while to learn to stop nursing her.  My son though stopped doing it after we de-latched the first time.  But he really liked his booby, lol.


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Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

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#20 of 24 Old 02-28-2014, 10:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, everybody for your input! The pinching has slowed, and I've started to de latch, and redirect. If that doesn't work, sometimes I will say, "let's try nursing again in a little bit, when you are ready to have gentle touches"
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#21 of 24 Old 03-14-2014, 10:49 AM
 
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hi OP,

How's it going after another couple of weeks of de-latching? I'm dealing with the same with my 11.5-month-old.

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#22 of 24 Old 03-15-2014, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's going well.  De latching has certainly helped, although I think I have also come to terms that having a wiggly little being on me is one of the realities of nursing an almost toddler :)

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#23 of 24 Old 03-16-2014, 12:14 PM
 
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It's going well.  De latching has certainly helped, although I think I have also come to terms that having a wiggly little being on me is one of the realities of nursing an almost toddler :)


In other words...she still pinches sometimes? smile.gif

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#24 of 24 Old 05-02-2014, 10:43 AM
 
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I know this post i from February, but wanted to comment a bit. I have had this issue as well with my DS…started before he turned 1. Now he's 14 months and still pinching, at first it really bothered me especially during night feedings when I was already exhasuted and I admit I got pretty cranky at times when he did this. I actually just learned to let him do this since I notices it is a natural instinct, he is trying to get the milk out faster by stimulating the other breast while nunrsing. So with that in mind, as time went on I just let it become part of our nursing habit. 

 

I think all the other suggestions too are great (except for the pinch him back…I'm with you there, not a good thing to teach) if you feel you really need to break the habit, it can be painful at times and just frustrating. Been there!  I've also tried letting him play with my hair or distract him somehow, that does seem to help .Definintely if I wear a neckalce or even a soft strecthy bracelet (even my soft hair band) will get his attention to something else rather than pinching.

 

All in all, I keep reminding myself he's just a baby and I've learned to trust him with a lot of things along the way, he knows what he's doing. :)

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