I have a relatively personal question for all of you. My son is 11 months old, and still nurses for most of his nutrition. I feed him solids, baby food, etc. but he's just not that interested. He nurses usually around 5x a night (I think). He's fast approaching his first birthday, and I always thought it would be nice to have kids 2 years apart. Except now that might not even be possible! I was curious to know when your fertility returned. I've been considering weaning a bit, but the problem is nursing my son revolves around sleeping. He'll only nurse when he's tired and needs a nap or wakes up at night. I'd love to night wean, but I just haven't had any luck. I'm afraid if I wean during the day then he'll want to nurse more at night! Or that once he night weans that he'll be completely weaned.
You're probably all wondering why I'm even thinking of another baby while I still have one who wakes me up all night. I just have the 2 year age difference stuck in my head . . .
My baby girl is only 6mo right now. Unless one of us isn't feeling well she eats 2 food meals a day. And nurses to sleep. So on average 5 feedings a day.
She loves getting food, and eats good. It seems like she nurses less at night when she gets food during the day.
My fertility returned with my DS at 9 months. He was quite the nurser, all day and all night.
I had to stop nursing DD at 3 months. Fertility came back at 7 months.
Some women don't regain their fertility for a couple of years when they're nursing, though. It seems to be an individual thing.
cancer-beating wife to DH since 7/4/09, mother to DS 5/1/11 + DD 8/21/2013
DD was 18th months when my cycle returned. She nursed non-stop day and night. Side note: I now think I was chronically dehydrated and recently read a momma who noticed baby didn't nurse as much at night when momma drank enough water during the day.
DS is almost 10 months and I am starting to feel like my hormones are ramping up into cyclical patterns. Maybe I will bleed earlier than 18 months this time. I have noticed he sleeps better and nurses less at night when I am better nourished and hydrated.
My cycle came back after 18 months, when baby was eating some solids but still nursing frequently. I didn't notice any decrease in his nursing right at that time; it was just gradual.
You might want to explore your reasons for wanting a 2-year age gap. A lot of people think 2-3 years is sort of the default sibling spacing. My parents say they assumed that without question, having both grown up in families with that spacing, and that's why they conceived my brother as soon as it was possible--we are 29 months apart--but it was very hard for them when he was a baby and I was still very needy, not fully toilet trained, couldn't dress myself, etc. When it was just me, they'd gotten a lot out of taking turns with the kid so the other parent could get stuff done; with two young kids, they found that a lot of the time each kid needed a parent's full attention, and they were burned out. My brother and I did play well together at times, but we also had intense sibling rivalry and bugged each other a lot, until we were both past 10 years old. Since then we've gotten along well, but that could have happened with a wider spacing, too, and I think we both might be more secure people if we'd felt in our early childhood that it was okay for us to get all our needs met without a lot of stress.
Anyway, I'd focus on parenting your son and filling his needs for nursing and bedtime closeness...and let your fertility do what it will. Many moms (including mine) get pregnant again without ever having a period between babies, so if you don't do anything to avoid it, that may happen when the time is right.
Mama to a boy EnviroKid 10 years old and a girl EnviroBaby 1 year old!
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