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#61 of 506 Old 05-09-2004, 09:29 PM
 
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I would have done CLW at night except for the fact that I am sleep-deprived to the point of hysteria. I also kinda think that it's my natural instinct to resist him a bit now that he is old enough to accept these limitations. Like I always say, I always think about what a person would do hundreds of years ago, before modern interventions and social restrictions. I think if I lived isolated somewhere and had no one to give me advice or feedback about how long to nurse or whatever, I would probably be doing the same thing. I always give in if he is sad, but lately he is actually much more accepting if I ask him to wait a little so mama can sleep more.
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#62 of 506 Old 05-10-2004, 07:17 PM
 
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Yes,Yes, Yes
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#63 of 506 Old 05-10-2004, 07:34 PM
 
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yes! thanks for starting this!
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#64 of 506 Old 05-11-2004, 11:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
I think the point is that the final weaning was up to the child, which in your case it sounds like that's what happened. I think setting limits and rearranging the nursing relationship is just a change, but it's not completely cutting them off from the breast.

It is funny, I'm realizing I might be the only Child Led Nightweaner here!:LOL I need my own forum. I don't mind being the experiment. I'll let you guys know how it goes. I still nurse her "on demand" (she's not 'demanding' about it though ). She nurses quite a few times during the day and at least once at night. Am I really, truly the only one? (oh, she's 3 btw).
25 month old twins here and still nursing on demand at night. I am a deep sleeper and barely notice flipping over to whoever is rooting around--I don't think any of us really wake up for it. For me, night nursing is the easiest part of nursing! Now when they both REALLY want to nurse at the same time, in public, that's where I am setting limits these days. Nursing two two year olds at the same time is truly a spectacle, and while I'm all about role modeling and advocacy, I just don't want to show that much skin to the general public. So we do one at a time in public, which I think is quite nice enough of me. They're starting to joke about it lately: "milky in sandbox!" "milky on swing" "milky on the bicycle." LOL.

Cate
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#65 of 506 Old 05-11-2004, 11:53 PM
 
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Just wanted to add that I'm glad about this thread. I don't check this forum much because it does always seem to be about weaning. I actually don't have any problem with moms who choose to wean after a year or so, as long as they do it gently and slowly; it's just not what we're choosing to do. It would be interesting to find out if the EBF forum would change in focus, and be more CLW friendly, if there was a separate place for gentle weaning posts. Has anyone officially asked for this subforum? Because it might be a different story in this forum, and as others have said, there is lots of history with threads about BFing older kids, etc. I have a hard time reading the really long threads, so I'd love it if it happened sooner!

This is what's going on for me as a CLW:

The two year mark has been a little difficult for me--I never had any question that I would nurse past a year, and two is the point where I feel a little more "fringe" and it's a little bit of an odd feeling. Even though I've always been fringe and I don't know why it's bothering me more now. Probably this whole gay marriage backlash. Also I think it's pushing my partner's limits and I know her family is uncomfortable.

I feel sometimes like we're poster children for too many causes--gay families, AP, EBF, twins, etc., and then I feel like when my kids are their spirited selves, it reflects on all that, ya know? And that's of course too much for them (but it's all in my head, LOL), but it's also too much for me as a mom. Like if I wasn't still nursing, their spirited behavior would just be spirited, but now it can so easily be chalked up to EBF by mainstream folks.

On the good side, I really appreciate being able to eat the extra calories they drink up and not gain extra weight, LOL. Though it's not what it was 6 months ago, even though they still nurse a lot. I was loving that 3,000 calorie diet and losing weight, LMBO.

OK, that's what I have to say about the support I need for CLW!

Cate
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#66 of 506 Old 05-11-2004, 11:58 PM
 
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Thanks for sharing your story Cate. That's so great. Oh, and I don't tandem in public either. I wish I was brave enough to but I really only do it with close friends and family that I feel comfortable with. That's awesome that you can sleep through the night nursings too. I'm so jealous!

I have a story I wanted to share with all you other CLWers, if you don't mind...

Quite a few months ago I was nursing my 3 yo at my Aunt's house. She has six kids (mostly all grown now). Three of them self weaned, the other three she cut off when they got close to 4 yo. My Uncle was in the room and he was saying how great it is that I still nurse dd etc. My Aunt asked him how long he thinks they should nurse (I could see something brewing in her) and he said, "Until they don't want the boob anymore." Well she looked so hurt and upset and said, "Really!? Then why when dd was almost 4 were you telling me to stop her and that she was too old and too big for that!" Oh, it was so sad to see her old hurt. Here she had felt pressured by him to end the bfing relationship and I saw so clearly how it was not what she had truly wanted. Seeing her husband tell me to nurse as long as the child needs upset her so much. I realized even more then that I don't want to wean because of someone else's pressures. I saw the look in her eyes. It was very sad. I remember her telling me too how her one dd (who absolutely loved nursing) that she weaned right at 4 yo used to say, "Mommy, let's just hide under the blankets and daddy will never know." She thought it was so sweet. I saw the day that I was over there and how my uncle supported me (but hadn't fully supported her) how much she hadn't truly wanted to wean. I don't want to do that. I'm glad I could learn from it.
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#67 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 12:10 AM
 
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That is such a sad story.

I don't know how I missed your post asking if anyone else doesn't nightwean. I don't nightwean either.

There was a thread some time ago about nightweaning and it seemed like I was the only person there who hadn't nightweaned and had no plans to. It seemed like everyone's reaction to me was "huh? I don't understand. why not?"

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#68 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 12:31 AM
 
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I apologize if this is a little T but...

Thanks for your post Alice. In notice our dd's are very close in age too. My dd's is 02/25/01. So, would you mind telling me about how your nights are? I realize your babe is quite a bit younger than mine though (8 1/2 mo). I sleep with my nurslings and actually the baby sleeps pretty well. My dd wakes up once or twice to nurse and I just turn to the left, she nurses for a few minutes and then I unlatch her and go back to sleep. My baby wakes up usually only once (sometimes two or three times though) and I just turn to the right and nurse him. I guess it's not a big deal to me because nursing is relaxing and the nursing hormones relax me a lot so I can go right back to sleep afterwards. I guess it helps too that I got in the habit when they were very young of unlatching them right when they're done. Also my aunt, who I mentioned above, never night weaned hers. They just night nursed as long as they nursed. It wasn't a big deal to her. It will be interesting to me to see how night weaning naturally occurs. My 1st self weaned very young and the night weaning just went right along with it. So, because of my dd's age, this is a whole new experience for me.
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#69 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 12:42 AM
 
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MamaCate, I just read your second post. I noticed our "locations" are in an interestingly close proximity!:LOL I can amost see you from where I'm sitting!

I do think that nursing a 2 yo can be very demanding sometimes. They're going through so much and seem to really need it more than ever. I can imagine how "exciting" it must be times two!
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#70 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 01:37 AM
 
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Well, like you, I sleep with both my kids in bed with me. My 3yo sometimes wakes to bf once during the night and other times not at all. I just roll onto my right side and bf her back to sleep, and I go right back to sleep, too. My 3mo sleeps every night until 6am! Then he wakes up and I roll onto my left side and bf him.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#71 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 10:49 AM
 
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Hey MamaAllNatural! LOL! I thought I saw you over there! Hey, can you reach the blanket and the mothering mag with your toes to kick them over here? I want to finish reading the sidebars to that soy article, and they're just out of my reach. I'd ask someone to latch off for a second, but we've just been having a meltdown and my ears need the peace & quiet of nursing for a few minutes.

Thanks! I'm sure I'll be seeing you 'round these parts some more, LOL.

Hus,

Cate
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#72 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 01:01 PM
 
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WRT the night weaning: I'm definitely not all for that either. However, I did start to night wean several months ago b/c we are TTC #2 and my LP was still very short. She was only nursing for a min or 2 at a time when she woke at night, so I thought she might be able to go a little longer. We started, but then she got sick. Then the holidays came up. Then I just gave up.

She seems to have mostly nightweaned herself though. She usually nurses to sleep at about 8, wakes up around 10 for a little nursey (sometimes a lot), then usually sleeps through to around 6am or so when she has a marathon nursing session.
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#73 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 02:34 PM
 
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I don't think I qualify as a night weaner. Even though I'm trying to set a few limitations, our night usually goes like this: nurse to sleep around 9pm; wake to nurse around 11 or 11:30 (a huge improvement over waking every hour!!); wake again around 1am to crawl from the sidecar crib into bed with us and nurse some more (that's when I usually crawl into bed myself); wake again I think around 2 or 3am to nurse some more; nurse again around 4 or 5; nurse continuously from 5-6 or so on until wakeup at 7:30 or 8am.

Then, during the day: nurse 9am; 10:30 or 11am; down for nap around 1pm; a couple of times (or continuously) during the nap; wake around 3:30pm nurse again; nurse again at around 4:30 or 5; nurse again right before and right after dinner; nurse to sleep.

whew.... and he's almost 26 mo! you'd think I had an infant!
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#74 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 03:00 PM
 
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Adrianne, it's amazing how 2 yo nurse like newborns most of the time huh? Oh, and just so everyone knows I'm not against night weaning. It's just not for me. I had just started feeling like the only one out there so it's nice to know I'm not alone.

We did have a very wakeful night last night but I don't relate it to the nursing. They did need to nurse back to sleep every time but I wasn't frutrated by the nursing, I was frustrated by the constant waking and fussing. I think my baby is getting some teeth. Not sure what was going on with my 3 yo. At least my 5 1/2 yo sleeps through the night now.

Oh and Cate, here's that magazine you couldn't reach.:LOL
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#75 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 03:03 PM
 
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What frustrates me is my mommy friends who say "wow, he had a 3 hour nap? you must have gotten a lot done!" and the truth is more than half of that nap ds was latched to me and I was lying in bed!
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#76 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 05:09 PM
 
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I don't nightwean either I have my 3 yo on 1 side and my 8 mo old on the other. For most of the last 8 mo my older ds has night nursed more than the babe. He seems to be needing the night nursing less and less. For the past few weeks he has been going back to sleep without even asking to nurse. My 8 mo old seems to be sleeping through too. After 3 years of almost NO sleep we are getting well rested!! Of course it all could change tomorrow, but that's okay too I don't mind the nightwaking really, just a quick nursing session and we are all asleep again (as long as one boy doesn't wake the other.....).


 

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#77 of 506 Old 05-12-2004, 05:47 PM
 
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: Im all for child led weaning. I was considering weaning dd almost 3 at night because we were having a rough time but as soon as I had posted things changed and we sleeping great with her nursing maybe once throughout the night.
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#78 of 506 Old 05-14-2004, 07:13 PM
 
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I would love a to chat with likeminded mamas. I am clw and tandum nursing a 5 yrs (july) and 1 yr (21 may) so I think it would be great to have the support of others who know what it is like when a 4 yrs old climbs on your lap for "boobies" :bf
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#79 of 506 Old 05-14-2004, 07:58 PM
 
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I would like to be part of such a forum. I'm still breastfeeding my 15-month-old : and couldn't imagine weaning until he's ready!
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#80 of 506 Old 05-14-2004, 10:33 PM
 
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I've never understood about the nightweaning, because for me it's so much easier than nursing during the day. He's not pulling off to look around, or trying to grab my other nipple or playing "How far away can I be from Mamma and still be nursing?" or pulling my hair or doing any of the other things he does. His latch is always perfect in his sleep, and the feeling of relief in my breast...ah!! It's as good as a warm shower. As an added bonus, if I can manage to stay awake I can just stare gooshily at my beautiful little boy, admiring his sweet baby smell and smooth baby skin...

Things were a little different in the newborn period, because my breasts were so much larger than his head that I could only nurse him in the football position, but nightnursing has made pregnancy a bit easier for both of us. Neither of us gets impatient that there's so little milk, there's much less pain because his latch is so much gentler, and we get to snuggle up belly-belly. Who could ask for anything more?

I'm all in favor of child-led weaning. Last month, I came home from a LLL meeting and told Mike about a woman there who's 3.75 year old son, when asked when he will wean, says "Never!" He said "I can see Eli being like that at 4. He sure loves his nursies!" :LOL He's very supportive of child-led weaning. I suppose it's possible that he'll change his mind when Eli's older (he's only 18 months old now) but I don't think so. He thinks nursing is sweet, and as an old man, he's well aware of how short a time 4 or 5 years really is. I personally can't imagine nursing a child older than five, but once upon a time I said I wouldn't nurse a child who was old enough to ask. Of course, that went right out the window when Eli asked to nurse at 7.5 weeks; I wasn't about to wean him then! :LOL

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#81 of 506 Old 05-15-2004, 02:50 AM
 
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I love the new smiley (see siggie)... and yes, night nursing is the easiest of all! I rarely have to help ds latch on and sometimes wake up on my back and he's laying on me nursing.
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#82 of 506 Old 05-16-2004, 02:17 AM
 
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I am there!!!
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#83 of 506 Old 05-16-2004, 10:03 PM
 
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night weaning is not for us either...though whenever nights get a little muc, i mention it and then she sleeps through glad to see others out there with me...i know dd is no where near ready to be done with her "ah ha boo"

love the new smiley also!
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#84 of 506 Old 05-17-2004, 01:36 AM
 
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Ds : is most dependent on the night/nap nursing--that's usually how he falls asleep. And he also want to nurse when he wakes up.
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#85 of 506 Old 05-17-2004, 01:51 AM
 
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So, I have a couple questions for all you CLWers, just out of curiosity...

At what age did you stop NIP?
How many people know that you're nursing your older nursling?

For me I stopped NIP when she was closer to 2. I just started making it an "at home" thing since I knew I would start feeling uncomfortable in public as sometimes I don't want to put up with a lot of crap.: This has never been a real issue. We nurse in people's homes that know we breastfeed but of course now that she's 3 she'd rather be doing all kinds of fun things while we're out instead of nursing anyway. However we were at a birthday party at our neighbor's the other day and she was very tired and asked for "mai mai." (Note, this neighbor was hiding in the house to nurse her 2 week old ) and I said, "Ok, are you getting tired and need to go home for mai mai?" and she said (with some attitude), "No, I just want mai mai at the party!" :LOL She ended up playing more and when I finally got her to come home I nursed her. It was pretty cute though. I wish I had the guts to NIP w/her. I'm just not that brave.

The people who know I'm still nursing her are my dh (of course), my sisters and parents (although some may get weird about it soon), my aunt, uncle and cousins (all way supportive), and a few selected friends - (oh and all of you! ). I nurse her in the homes of all these people as well.
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#86 of 506 Old 05-17-2004, 09:59 AM
 
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My dd rarely asked to NIP after about 14 months or so... she was always too busy. Of course, I was working too so she was used to going long periods sometimes without nursing (she did drink water from a sippy). Ds however is going strong at almost 13 months. My dd weaned at 20 months (younger than I expected and younger than ds will wean I'm sure).

Right now my thought is screw them if they don't like it, but I am sure it could be intimidating to NIP with a toddler when you don't do it often.
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#87 of 506 Old 05-17-2004, 10:03 AM
 
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My first weaned at age 4 and my second weaned at 2, same time as his older brother. It was interesting that my younger did it the same time as his older. Guess he wanted to be just like him No idea how long my baby will nurse. With the older two when I was pg I would start to put their nursing into the daily rhythm to get ready for new baby. Since I will not be pg again that will not play into our nursing relationship. So, it will be a whole new ball game.

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#88 of 506 Old 05-17-2004, 02:19 PM
 
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My DD is almost 23 months. We still NIP whenever and wherever. I'm hoping I can keep that up as she gets older.
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#89 of 506 Old 05-17-2004, 03:17 PM
 
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My ds is 15 months. Though he still wants to nurse a lot, he is able to go for longer. I usually nurse him at La Leche League meetings, as he's often getting tired then. I only nursed him once recently at a restaurant.
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#90 of 506 Old 05-17-2004, 03:53 PM
 
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DS is nearly 26 mo, and we nurse in public selectively; most places I'm ok with it, and now he hardly ever asks to nurse in a restaurant (unless it's getting late and he's tired; and I will nurse him bc it's easier than dealing with a meltdown). Usually wherever we are is a child friendly place, anyway, like park, playground, playgroup, library, etc. But we try to resist nursing in some other places that are less "accommodating" to us (mainly bc it's not comfortable for me...) although if my ds is very insistent I will nurse him anywhere bc otherwise I'm in for a major meltdown.

I am getting nervous tho bc next week we are going to visit relatives in Orlando so,
1. I will be off my "turf" and might be less comfortable, and
2. My sil weaned both ds' at 12 mo so she and bil and mil and their kids are not used to seeing an older nursling; I'm not sure how they will react or how comfortable I will be, because
3. ds is such has such a voracious nursing appetite - he could nurse every 10 min if he had the chance, and he likes to crawl all over me and do acrobatics - you know what I mean mamas!!! So I don't know how that will go over in front of the family!!! We might have to retreat to the bedroom for "quiet time" several times a day!
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