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#121 of 506 Old 05-20-2004, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by callmemama
Give us another 6 months Mother Sunshine and we'll join your over-5 club
Thanks Callmemama
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#122 of 506 Old 05-20-2004, 03:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AdrianneWe
]"he's using you as a pacifier and a bottle"[/COLOR][/B] and "you need more sleep at night" and "he's nursing at night bc he's in your bed and is expecting to nurse" and "I'm concerned that he'll have cavities from nursing all night" and "you don't want to overtax yourself and drive yourself crazy; moms can be so self-sacrificing" etc. etc. [/B][/COLOR]
UGH! I've heard similar things from waaaay too many health professionals.

If I could've responded I'd have said: "First of all, pacifiers and bottles are artificial forms of nipples/breasts, not the other way around! Our babes are using our breasts the way they're MEANT to be used. Secondly, breastmilk helps PREVENT cavities. Third, I'd probably get LESS sleep if he wasn't in bed with me (getting up to tend to his needs istead of rolling over to attend to his needs!). And lastly, I think I'd be overtaxing myself if I didn't get the chance to sit down and nurse my kids every once in a while throughout the day! Oh, and you can tell by the few times we've ever been to your office that my son doesn't get sick, thanks to all the antibodies he's getting through my breastmilk!

We don't have any health insurance at the moment (and I"m a nervous wreck, as we've already had stitches and a broken arm during the past year!), but as soon as we do I'm supposed to make appointments for my kids' yearly exams. I don't have to worry about the ebfing/clwing, as my pediatrician knows how I stand on those issues ... however, we're going to be discussing vax issues, which I'm dreading! I just arm myself with info and pray for the best!

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

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#123 of 506 Old 05-20-2004, 03:56 PM
 
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That is so frustrating (the doc's comments). You'd think they'd want the kid to be healthy, you know? My Aunt has had to family doctors. Her kids are mostly grown so the first doctor she had is now retired so she had to get a new one about 5-10 years ago. Anyway, both of the doctors would NOT take a child as a patient unless they were being breastfed. If my aunt wouldn't have breastfed he would've refused to be her kid's doctor because it's too much of a health risk in his POV. Can you imagine the effect that kind of doctor's attitude could have on breastfeeding culturally in the US? These doctors also advocate homebirth and are against circumcision...and one of them is Jewish.
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#124 of 506 Old 05-20-2004, 04:04 PM
 
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You know, for the entire visit with the ped, my ds had his face buried in my chest and was nursing (he was being shy?). :LOL

Anyway, the ped did comment on how healthy he was and all. And, oddly enough, she is my LLL Leader's ped. She's not totally against nursing, but she's not a huge advocate of it past the first year!!
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#125 of 506 Old 05-20-2004, 04:18 PM
 
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T MAN are you about to win the world's record fastest accumulation of posts to senior membership???
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#126 of 506 Old 05-20-2004, 06:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
My Aunt has had to family doctors. Her kids are mostly grown so the first doctor she had is now retired so she had to get a new one about 5-10 years ago. Anyway, both of the doctors would NOT take a child as a patient unless they were being breastfed. If my aunt wouldn't have breastfed he would've refused to be her kid's doctor because it's too much of a health risk in his POV. Can you imagine the effect that kind of doctor's attitude could have on breastfeeding culturally in the US? These doctors also advocate homebirth and are against circumcision...and one of them is Jewish.
Wow! Where did/does your Aunt live?


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Originally Posted by AdrianneWe
So two days ago we went to the ped for his 2 year checkup. She kept saying things like "he's using you as a pacifier and a bottle" and "you need more sleep at night" and "he's nursing at night bc he's in your bed and is expecting to nurse" and "I'm concerned that he'll have cavities from nursing all night" and "you don't want to overtax yourself and drive yourself crazy; moms can be so self-sacrificing" etc. etc.
I've been thinking about your post AdrianneWe and the more I think about it the more frustrated I feel because I wonder how many mothers take her advice/opinion seriously.

A good way to wake her up (or shut her up) in a kind way is to ask her to back up her info with the resources and qualifications for which she is giving this professional opinion...when and where did she learn about breastfeeding, what her experiences are with breastfeeding children beyond 1yr.. etc. As a professional physician giving out "professional" advice, she should have info to back herself up. It's a shame that dr.'s feel the need to give parenting advice yet the only education they have is from being a parent themselves. I know 2 other ped.'s (besides dd's), I'm sure they are fine doctors but they are so far from being good parents...they're rarely home and they didn't even bf at all. And it shows in their children.
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#127 of 506 Old 05-20-2004, 09:57 PM
 
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[QUOTE=mother_sunshine]Wow! Where did/does your Aunt live?[QUOTE]

Northern California.

Mother Sunshine you are in Hawaii right? I have heard that it is the most breastfeeding friendly state and that it's not uncommon to see a 3 or 4 yo NIP. I want to live there.

A friend of mine is from Hawaii. Her girls are grown now but she said (in the 80's) she would NIP w/them when they were 5 & 6 years old. She didn't mind at all. She really liked making a statement!:LOL
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#128 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 12:52 AM
 
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More on doctors......

I feel pretty good about educating my doctor about EN. I avoid docs generally, but had to take ds in when he was 20 months. At our previous visit she was questioning why we were still nursing, she only had one other patient that had nursed til 18 mo. When I brought him in he was so sick (horrible virus) and had not kept anything down for days. She said the breastfeeding is probably what kept him from severe dehydration and was very glad I was still nursing him. Now, *I* don't need her approval, but I feel good about it because she will have some positive extended nursing stories to share with other patients She would probably flip if she knew I had a UC and am tandem nursing though :LOL


 

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#129 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 04:38 AM
 
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T MAN are you about to win the world's record fastest accumulation of posts to senior membership???
Mama, I'm dying to see your senior title! I hope you have one all picked out!

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#130 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 01:52 PM
 
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T There it is! 1,000 posts! I am actually having a hard time choosing between a few. Hmmm...once I pick one do I have the option to change it?
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#131 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 03:20 PM
 
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I don't know if it is where I live, or what but I NEVER see older babies or toddlers nursing in public. I rarely see ANY babies being nursed in public. It's very frusterating for me. My son is 13 months old and I get glares from people every where we go. I'm not sure if it's because he is a toddler (i still see him as a baby) or if it is because he is a boy. people are just generally not happy about me nursing in public. And my son is not happy if i try to tell him "not now" or "wait until we get home". I've never restricted him before and we both enjoy frequent nursing at home. I'm not sure what i should do. I don't want to have to live in a cave to be able to continue to nurse Edward when and where he wants.

Why can't people be okay with it? This one mom actuall asked the waitress to move her and her children to another table. She made it seem like i was naked and doing something sexual. Instead of just feeding my baby.

-melissa
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#132 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 03:49 PM
 
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Perhaps I'm a spiteful person, but I get a wicked little kick when ppl are offended. Don't get me wrong, I nurse very discreetly and I don't think anyone has ever caught even a glimpse of skin (except for one time when DD was 2 weeks old and I was still learning how to nurse in the sling...but that's a whole 'nother story LOL). I don't announce I'm NIP'ing or make a big deal. But when I catch somebody giving me a dirty look, I usually give them my best beatific smile and look down at DD adorinly. Maybe I need counseling *blush*
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#133 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
Wow! Where did/does your Aunt live?

Northern California.

Mother Sunshine you are in Hawaii right? I have heard that it is the most breastfeeding friendly state and that it's not uncommon to see a 3 or 4 yo NIP. I want to live there.

A friend of mine is from Hawaii. Her girls are grown now but she said (in the 80's) she would NIP w/them when they were 5 & 6 years old. She didn't mind at all. She really liked making a statement!:LOL

That's so cool. If I had to live anywhere but Hawaii I would live in No. Cal. I grew up in So. Cal. and was like a black sheep (which is partly what led me here). But in the Summer as a kid I would visit my grandmother in Corralitos (which I suppose is more Central Ca. but still had the No. Ca. feel). She lived off the grid and on the land in the middle of a beautiful redwood forest. I think those trips are what helped form who I am.

I can't speak for the other islands but it isn't unusual to see a toddler bf on the Hilo side of the Big Island. There is a lot of tolerance here so even if someone opposed bf an older child they most likely wouldn't say anything. At least nobody ever said anything to me. I have seen many mothers bf their toddlers here with comfort. I haven't seen anybody NIP a child beyond 4 though, but I sure would jump for joy if I did! Where did/does your friend in HI live?

Doctors are not as "with it" as those in No. Ca. though. Dd's Ped. suggested that I wean at 1 year. That was when I realized that we should go to her only for medical advice and nothing else.


P.S.
hnybee, hang in there. It's not you. Maybe try to find a like-minded LLL group for extra support in your area. There are more loving mamas like you there, you just have to weed out the ugly to find the gems. And you always have us!
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#134 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 03:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by NoraB
Perhaps I'm a spiteful person, but I get a wicked little kick when ppl are offended. Don't get me wrong, I nurse very discreetly and I don't think anyone has ever caught even a glimpse of skin (except for one time when DD was 2 weeks old and I was still learning how to nurse in the sling...but that's a whole 'nother story LOL). I don't announce I'm NIP'ing or make a big deal. But when I catch somebody giving me a dirty look, I usually give them my best beatific smile and look down at DD adorinly. Maybe I need counseling *blush*
Woohoo! Right on NoraB!

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THEY'RE the ones who need counseling.
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#135 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 04:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hnybee
My son is 13 months old and I get glares from people every where we go. I'm not sure if it's because he is a toddler (i still see him as a baby) or if it is because he is a boy.
That's crazy! Is he really big for his age, do people think he's six? I can't imagine anyone blinking at a 13 month old nursing, unless they were huge.. and even then, it's not right.

When Eli was about four months old I was nursing him in the car and this woman walked out of a store with her kids and gave me the nastiest look. I had the window down, and my mother was talking about how I could cover up, but I said I wasn't doing anything dirty that needed to be covered.This woman gave me a really nasty look, so I said really loudly "Other people's problems with breastfeeding aren't my concern. They shouldn't hold it against me because they didn't want to do the best thing for their own kids."*** She gave me the finger on her way out and I happily flipped her back. My mother has never brought it up again, except to say that she never NIP at all, that nursing barely happened in the house. (My father was psychotic). I think she's a bit jealous.

***I've found that the women who have issues with NIP are not those who tried nursing and failed, but those who never tried at all. The ones who tried to do it are always really impressed that I am doing it, and while they feel a little sad that they couldn't for whatever reason, I've never had one try to make me feel crappy about it. The ones who start out with abm, on the other hand, tend to be not only uneducated on the subject but really nasty about it.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#136 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 04:26 PM
 
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T There it is! 1,000 posts!

Congratulations!

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I am actually having a hard time choosing between a few.

Really? Are you going to share them with us and let us help you pick?

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Hmmm...once I pick one do I have the option to change it?

Yeah, but they charge $2.50 for that, now.


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#137 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 05:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eilonwy
... and gave me the nastiest look. I had the window down, and my mother was talking about how I could cover up, but I said I wasn't doing anything dirty that needed to be covered.This woman gave me a really nasty look, so I said really loudly "Other people's problems with breastfeeding aren't my concern. They shouldn't hold it against me because they didn't want to do the best thing for their own kids."*** She gave me the finger on her way out and I happily flipped her back.
I think you are my new best friend!! I laughed so hard, i almost fell out of my chair. my kids were looking at me like i had finally gone around the bend!!

But honestly, sometimes that is what i feel like doing!!

Maybe we should all move to hawaii!! Sounds like a mama party to me.

And thanks mama sunshine. that helps to know that i am not alone. i come here mostly for encouragement.

-melissa
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#138 of 506 Old 05-21-2004, 06:57 PM
 
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Hnybee,

Your ds is definately still a baby and needs to nurse when he needs to nurse. Do try to find other mamas who support NIP. My baby is 9 months old now but I swear people get uncomfortable even when I'm nursing a newborn. You might find it helpful to just focus on your baby. Or once you get situated you can make eye contact with passerbys and smile. It's hard for them not to smile back. I usually strike up a conversation with someone nearby too. I guess it is a bit rebellious...like, "Actually, you will be comfortable with this!":LOL

Rynna,

Loved the story!:LOL Of course we're all thinking it, but I'm glad someone can say it!

Mother Sunshine,

I'll have to ask my friend which part of Hawaii she lived in. It's funny, everyone who has lived in Hawaii or been to Hawaii tells me I belong there. I haven't even visited. I so want to.

SBF,

Thanks! I would love for you guys to help me pick. I thought of putting something funny. Since it's "status" I wanted to put "producing about 2 gallons a day." But I don't know if everyone will get it. Do you guys? (as in my lactation status). I also thought of putting something about being an advocate of everthing in my sig line (which I am) but thought maybe some will think I mean the SAHM part too and be offended. I thought of just putting the intactivist part or something geared towards the lactivist part...Hmmm...I don't know...
Any feedback?
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#139 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 04:42 AM
 
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I like "producing about 2 gallons a day." I think people will get it. If you did one that promoted the things in your sig line, how would you word it? I don't think there's anything wrong with promoting stay at home motherhood. Anti-circ by itself or pro-bf by itself would also be good. I guess I'm not much help. It would be easier for me to pick a favorite if I knew how you would word each one.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#140 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 02:57 PM
 
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Post a poll MAN! I'll help you pick a senior title!

So today I commented to my dh: "my period is coming again (this is only my third one since ds was born; AF returned right after his second bday) and it seems like every time I get it ds starts to nurse every hour like the milk has changed or there is less of it or something from the hormones" and dh said: "I wonder if this is part of child led weaning - when the milk starts to change or go (I think he said "pull the plug" on it or something??) the child is encouraged to nurse less and wean."

But, hey, that's NOT what's happening! I'm getting no sleep (or even less sleep; I always get no sleep) bc he's crawling all over me night and day saying "switch sides" "this side" "nurse that side" and he's 38lbs and that's a lot to maneuver all night long, kwim???
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#141 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 06:38 PM
 
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Man, where have I been? I think i posted on this thread early on...anyway, I'm in the over-5 club, too...well, dd is.

In our case, I think CLW would be never wean if she had her druthers...her latch is bad now, and so usually she doesn't get any milk at all, but every few weeks or so she'll ask. She thinks God had a good idea making breasts so soft so they can "give pillow comfort when they can't give milk, " she sighs.

When I asked her what the milk tasted like, she said "it's sweet." then paused, sighed, and said, "you know, mom...it tastes like love." I think I'll be hugging that moment close on my deathbed when I'm like 100 or something.

Years ago, when Delia was still a sling babe, the 2 of us did a walk for earthquake victims in El Salvador...It was a really hilly route, and she ended up in the sling after the first mile or so. An older woman joined us and walked along, chatting with me. After a bit, dd neeeded to latch on--I think she was over 3, and I was just a little embarrassed that now I'd have to explain my alternative parenting yada yada to this nice lady who was keeping me company. But I helped dd anyway, and the lady said, "It's so nice to see a mom attending so lovingly to her child's needs, meeting her where she is. I nursed my last until he was 4. He still remembers it." and when her tall 20 yr old son caught up to us with some of his buddies, she introduced him; he actually, with no self-consciousness at all, said, "Nursing's the best thing for a little kid. I sure liked it," and wished me luck.
I felt like I had entered an alternative universe. I never saw either of them again...sometimes I've almost convinced myself that they were actually angels. Anyway, thought that was a nice CLW story to share!!
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#142 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 06:48 PM
 
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I'm leaning towards this:

"Producing about 2 gallons a day and advocating everything in my sig line"

How much do you suppose I really am producing? My 9 mo is on 100 % breastmilk and eats a lot and my 3 yo is on probably 50% breastmilk, not because she doesn't eat much food, but because she takes so much milk when she nurses!:LOL It would be interesting to know. I just think it's kind of funny (but maybe it's just me ) and I also want to reinforce to any woman who reads it that we (women) do make milk, and plenty of it. Ugh! I find everything I type now I'm afraid will offend someone. It's really frustrating.

Feel free to give me any ideas. Hopefully some of you have gotten to know me a little by now
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#143 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 07:07 PM
 
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Thank you darlindeliasmom for sharing that story. As a Mama who sometimes begins to falter in her choice to extended brestfeed her breastmilk loving 3 year old, this was food for my soul.



Ann
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#144 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 07:18 PM
 
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Oh yes Darlindeliasmom, your whole post was so sweet! Thank you for sharing it with us.
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#145 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 08:17 PM
 
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When Eli was 4 months old, at any given moment I could pump between 8 and 15 oz; since the baby always takes more than the pump, I'd estimate his intake to have been between 12 and 20 oz each nursing session... an average of 6/day and 3/night, so nine sessions gives me 108-180oz/day. 128oz=1 gallon, so I guess I was averaging just over a gallon of nursies a day. Yikes, it seems like a lot when you say it that way. :LOL

Quote:
So today I commented to my dh: "my period is coming again (this is only my third one since ds was born; AF returned right after his second bday) and it seems like every time I get it ds starts to nurse every hour like the milk has changed or there is less of it or something from the hormones" and dh said: "I wonder if this is part of child led weaning - when the milk starts to change or go (I think he said "pull the plug" on it or something??) the child is encouraged to nurse less and wean."
:LOL : :LOL I don't know about you, but this is definately not the truth in my case.. AF came to visit me 3.5 weeks after Eli was born. I thought it was a joke, but just over a week later I ovulated and I knew better. :LOL I had regular periods from then until I got pregnant again when Eli was 10 months old.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#146 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 09:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by darlindeliasmom
Years ago, when Delia was still a sling babe, the 2 of us did a walk for earthquake victims in El Salvador...It was a really hilly route, and she ended up in the sling after the first mile or so. An older woman joined us and walked along, chatting with me. After a bit, dd neeeded to latch on--I think she was over 3, and I was just a little embarrassed that now I'd have to explain my alternative parenting yada yada to this nice lady who was keeping me company. But I helped dd anyway, and the lady said, "It's so nice to see a mom attending so lovingly to her child's needs, meeting her where she is. I nursed my last until he was 4. He still remembers it." and when her tall 20 yr old son caught up to us with some of his buddies, she introduced him; he actually, with no self-consciousness at all, said, "Nursing's the best thing for a little kid. I sure liked it," and wished me luck.
I felt like I had entered an alternative universe. I never saw either of them again...sometimes I've almost convinced myself that they were actually angels. Anyway, thought that was a nice CLW story to share!!

What a BEE-YOO-TIFUL story!
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#147 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 10:12 PM
 
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WOW I love that story too! I think they were angels!
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#148 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 10:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy
I guess I was averaging just over a gallon of nursies a day. Yikes, it seems like a lot when you say it that way. :LOL
Wow, so maybe I'm actually putting out more than two gallons a day!:LOL It's amazing when you really think about it. Our bodies are awesome.
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#149 of 506 Old 05-22-2004, 10:49 PM
 
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I know!

Just the other day, I was talking to Mike about how I'm really excited that I'll be making milk again soon, and how I got all happy when I noticed I was leaking colostrum in the shower. Is it strange that even a year and a half after my son's birth, I'm still totally impressed by the fact that my body makes food for him? It just blows my mind. I can't get over how cool it is. I make milk. Better milk than you could ever find in a grocery store. Sweet, perfect-for-my-babies, milk comes right out of my body. I don't have to wash anything or carry anything extra. Wow, that's nifty! I still think it's really cool and I'm still really thrilled with just the idea, to say nothing of the reality.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#150 of 506 Old 05-23-2004, 01:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Darlindeliasmom, that was so sweet, thanks for sharing...and welcome to the over-5 club!

M.A.N. I think "Producing about 2 gallons a day" sounds great. The "and advocating everything in my sig line" is kind-of a given and it takes away from the other part.
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