Need support for loss of breastfeeding : ( - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-11-2014, 05:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Need support for loss of breastfeeding : (

Before I even became pregnant with my little one I had read countless research papers and published works along with seeing documentaries all talking about how amazing breastfeeding was. I knew then that I was going to breastfeed and do the best I could for my baby. Well my little one is now 2 months old and I still barely make any milk...not even one ounce per feeding. I had complications and had to have a c section and then one of my staples popped out. Because it was too far after the surgery that they noticed it...my husband had to pack the wound for over 8 weeks...it was very painful and made my recovery so much longer and I was forced to take it easy for the entire time it healed. I have never been able to produce that much milk and a few weeks ago she started unlatching and crying because I didn't have enough milk. I pumped and pumped and pumped more. I exhausted myself trying everything. I even got an SNS system to try and breastfeed with. Nothing has helped and I feel helpless and like I just can't let go of the fact that I am not good enough. I should've tried harder. I feel like in the back of my mind I just could've worked harder...but I was literally doing everything I could. Waking up every 3 hours even at night to pump or feed her with the SNS system. I just wanted to be able to breastfeed. I'm so depressed about this...

Last edited by angelchisty; 06-11-2014 at 06:15 PM.
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#2 of 5 Old 06-12-2014, 11:52 AM
 
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Oh no! I am so sorry.

I really, really wish that the information about breast feeding and formula feeding was more balanced. I hear a lot of mothers like you who feel like they've failed if they can't breastfeed, or like they have to break themselves to do it, because otherwise they're bad moms.

Some recent research suggests that the benefits of breast feeding have possibly been oversold. There's an article about it at http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor...aggerated.html (I think there are links to the original research in there, if you want to check it out) - when sibling pairs where one child was breast fed and one was bottle fed are compared to each other, it does not appear that breast feeding made a difference. Breast feeding is wonderful, but in many situations, there are good reasons to use formula. Yours sounds like one of them.

One of the awful parts is that sleep deprivation and exhaustion are major contributors to PPD, which it sounds like you're experiencing. I feel like, you poor woman, go see what happens if you get a good night's sleep. Turn off the alarm, put down the pump.

If, in the morning, you want to put your baby to your breast and have her nurse what she can, sure, that's fine, but if not, that's fine too (breast and bottle are seldom all-or-nothing decisions). You deserve to be able to rest, take care of yourself, and care for your baby in a way that leaves you with energy to enjoy her. I hope that people who love you have been telling you this. The people who don't love you shouldn't be taking up your time giving advice.
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#3 of 5 Old 06-17-2014, 03:37 AM
 
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Did you see a lactation consultant?
Some people are never able to pump; it would take me hours to pump one ounce of milk, but I breastfed for many years. How much you can pump is not a measure of how much milk you make.

You shouldn't feel bad if you stop bf, babies thrive on formula too.
Pumping sucks,.
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#4 of 5 Old 06-17-2014, 11:58 AM
 
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Did you see a lactation consultant?
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#5 of 5 Old 06-17-2014, 10:52 PM
 
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Don't feel bad, listen...colostrum is the most important part of breastfeeding and u already gave it to your baby, I know how u feel I felt the same with my older kids especially my first one who I got a really bad epiciotomy(or how ever u spell that) I couldn't even seat or walk..mi felt useless like I had no purpose in life...but then I understood that BFing didn't work for me not becouse I didn't try hard enough but because I was in so much pain I just couldn't do it...my son wouldn't latch on laying down on mi side so I could do nothing else but pump my supply dried by week 2 so in tears I told my husband to buy formula...I wasn't going to starve my child so I did what I had to do and my son is now a healthy 5 yr old ;-)
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