Nursing Three--Balancing it all - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 06-21-2014, 01:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nursing Three--Balancing it all

I'm nursing my 10 week old twins and my 2.5 year old. Generally, there is plenty of milk for all, but some days (the difficult days), DS1 is very upset and nurses A LOT, so when the babies are ready, there isn't much milk. Then in the middle of the night, I'll have so much milk and be oozing it everywhere. I haven't yet figured a better way to deal with a desperate, flailing toddler begging to nurse, I don't think weaning is a remote possibility for him (he nurses 4-5 times on a good day, 7-8 on a bad one). Maybe I ought to try to boost supply so there is a bit extra on those tough days? I guess I'm just looking for a been-there-done-that hug. Most days, I'm lucky to get an hour without someone on my breasts and it's just a f***ing lot of nursing, and I need a bit of validation. I know other mothers have nursed twins and a toddler--how do you balance everyone's needs? How do you care for all the littles, the bare modicum of housework, and manage to feed yourself so you can feed all of them? And how can you have babies on your breasts all day and still have room for the occasional bit of husband-and-wife touching? (After only two crappy DTD in...wow, nearly 4 months, my dh is a bit lonely, but if someone else touches my breasts, I might scream.)
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#2 of 8 Old 06-21-2014, 12:03 PM
 
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When you have excess milk, are you able to express it? I totally understand not wanting to use a bottle, but you could get an at-chest supplementer for the times when there isn't enough to go around. (although if you're okay with using a bottle and your babies will take one, it may help give your breasts a rest- they're coming out with a lot that are meant to help reduce nipple confusion)

Also, if someone else touching your breasts is the only problem, you can have sex without your husband touching them. It takes a bit of creativity with positioning and such, but it can work if that's what you need. If it's a general touched out, though, that definitely can be hard to handle.

Is there anyone around who can help you out? Maybe have a friend or family member who can come over and either watch the kids or help you cook for a day so you can make a lot of meals to freeze. If you don't have one, a large freezer may help for storing it all. If you can find pre-made meals that you're comfortable with, stocking up on those is also an option. Getting it to the point that as many meals as possible are just tossing something in the microwave will probably help you a lot.

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#3 of 8 Old 06-21-2014, 08:42 PM
 
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Hey there again. DS1 would nurse all day if I let him...he asks many, many times a day and throws a royal tantrum if I refuse. I think it was somewhere on here that I got the idea of saying yes every time he asks, but limiting the length of the session. DS1 will actually accept 5-seconds on each side. For him, I think there was some insecurity when DS2 took his territory and he just needed to know it was still there for him on demand, like before.

For food, I sometimes make various different snacks ahead of time the night before and grab at it during the day. The best things to eat for me don't need to be heated up since 1-1/2 minutes in the microwave is typically too long before someone starts crying. So cold cuts of meat, cut cheese, sliced veggies, chips & hummus/bean dips, pb&j, easy to eat fruit, nuts, etc.

Not a lot of help on DTD, except make your breasts off limits for awhile. Mine have been off limits for 2-1/2 years. When I'm nursing, I don't want any sexual touching of my breasts. DH doesn't have a problem with this though...he likes other areas better But with DS2 being 5 months old, it's only been a handful of times. It takes awhile for me to want that kind of contact after having a baby.

Do you have anyone to help you during the day? Someone to take your older one for a walk or out of the house for a few minutes? What your doing would be very difficult without some support during the day... Can you hire a mother's helper? It's summer. Maybe there is a teenage girl that could come over and help some times?

Happily married to DH 

Stay-at-home mama to DS1 (01/12) & DS2 (01/14)

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#4 of 8 Old 06-26-2014, 06:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post
I'm nursing my 10 week old twins and my 2.5 year old. Generally, there is plenty of milk for all, but some days (the difficult days), DS1 is very upset and nurses A LOT, so when the babies are ready, there isn't much milk. Then in the middle of the night, I'll have so much milk and be oozing it everywhere. I haven't yet figured a better way to deal with a desperate, flailing toddler begging to nurse, I don't think weaning is a remote possibility for him (he nurses 4-5 times on a good day, 7-8 on a bad one). Maybe I ought to try to boost supply so there is a bit extra on those tough days? I guess I'm just looking for a been-there-done-that hug. Most days, I'm lucky to get an hour without someone on my breasts and it's just a f***ing lot of nursing, and I need a bit of validation. I know other mothers have nursed twins and a toddler--how do you balance everyone's needs? How do you care for all the littles, the bare modicum of housework, and manage to feed yourself so you can feed all of them? And how can you have babies on your breasts all day and still have room for the occasional bit of husband-and-wife touching? (After only two crappy DTD in...wow, nearly 4 months, my dh is a bit lonely, but if someone else touches my breasts, I might scream.)
why don't you try feeding your 2.5 year old with formula milk or normal milk. This is going to make the toddler more responsible and hiring help can be a good idea as well
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#5 of 8 Old 07-05-2014, 06:37 PM
 
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why don't you try feeding your 2.5 year old with formula milk or normal milk. This is going to make the toddler more responsible and hiring help can be a good idea as well
Since when is feeding milk from another species more "normal" than breast feeding?

Anyway, OP, just wanted to give some *hugs*. I know how touched out I get just nursing one, three would be a much bigger challenge!

Newly single, chronically sleep deprived mama to my little wild thang wild.gif, born 11/17/12 

fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#6 of 8 Old 07-14-2014, 05:07 PM
 
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Oo, yeah, that "normal milk" thing rubbed me the wrong way too. Human milk *is* the "normal" milk for a human baby.

I haven't tandem nursed but I have seen a lot of tandem moms doing the "no offer, no refuse" thing and limiting nursing times. That sounds fair for both of you. Maybe set a timer? My 3 yr old will do anything with a timer to tell her!

As far as breasts being off limits for dh, I concur, mine are not to be used sexually while im nursing, gives me the heeby jeebies! Good luck!
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#7 of 8 Old 08-12-2014, 06:34 PM
 
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I can't say been "there done that" but I will send you *hugs* and tell you IMO your a pretty awesome mama! I'm sure things will smooth out in the future. Your body could adapt to produce heavy during the day and slack off at night if it's meeting your baby's needs.
I kept meat, cheese, & crackers, and granola bars handy handy in those early days with DD.
And I agree with other posters, ask for help if there is someone to ask.
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#8 of 8 Old 08-12-2014, 06:43 PM
 
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I just wanted to say that you are a rock star! I wish I could offer some good advice. You are an awesome mama!

Breezy married to my sweetie pie David With two beautiful children that love each other very much and a bun in the oven due Nov. 5th, 2014


Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

-Benjamin Franklin


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