Pressure to formula feed
Does anyone else have family members that try to force weaning or even convince you not to bother starting breastfeeding in the first place? When I was pregnant with DS MIL offered to buy me my bottles and was mortified with I said I refused to have bottles in the house. When DS was born, she used to tell me to quit breastfeeding all the time - 'happy mum, happy baby' - I never said I was unhappy breastfeeding... When that didn't work, she told DH to tell me to quit breastfeeding.
I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 and MIL has been hinting that when baby arrives she can 'finally' take DS (25 months) for the night from us. Well no she can't because we still co-sleep and breastfeed. Expressing is not an option - I actually tried it when I returned to work after DS was born and he's always refused to take milk that isn't straight from the tap! She is assuming that DS will no longer be breastfed once baby arrives, which is not true, I have no intention of ousting him in favour of another child so obviously.
I understand she loves DS, I understand that very few people in my little pocket of Northern England attachment parent, I understand all her friends have been taking their grandchildren overnight since they were babies - I get it, I know she just wants to do what all her other grandma friends get to do. I know she assumed this would happen for her when DS was born and I understand the upset she must be feeling especially when her friends assume she's doing 'normal' grandma stuff - 'So and so was asking if I'd been on grandma duty and I had to say no because I can't breastfeed!' (Said with a sad face too).
MIL only breastfed DH for a week before going on holiday for a week and leaving DH with her mum for the whole time. She never even attempted to breastfeed her second baby because she 'couldn't be bothered'. She always talks about how easy formula feeding was, saying 'you find shortcuts with your second one' - ie. not sterilising bottles in between uses! She says BIL was perfectly healthy despite this and all the dangers are exaggerated. DH says BIL was in and out of hospital for the first year of his life with chronic ENT infections and eventually had to have gromits fitted and his tonsils removed. If either of us were to point this out however, there would be major upset.
She's not trying to be horrible or interfering, she just wants what she gave her mum and what she sees her friends doing but I can't cope with another round of this when the baby arrives - I've had an exhausting pregnancy and due to an old pelvic injury have already been told to expect a longer and more painful labour than average (this will pass, DS's labour was 66 hours long). Unfortunately, she's very sensitive and even what I would describe as a subtle and well-meaning talk about the subject has the potential to cause a rift. I don't want to burn my bridges with her, she is a nice person but I feel the need to nip this in the bud. Any advice?
Married to Mr. Crunchy June 2008 ~ welcomed our beautiful boy August 2012 ~ another beautiful boy arrived September 2014 ~ breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, cloth bumming. I love my boys