Would you breast feed someone elses child? - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Would you bf someone else's child?
Yes 407 54.12%
No 68 9.04%
Depends on who .... ie family, close friends 277 36.84%
Voters: 752. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-05-2007, 02:01 AM
 
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I voted yes. I've nursed my niece and pumped milk for her during a crisis she and her mom had. It was with her mom's permission. Barring an emergency, (meaning, if there was an emergency with the mom and I couldn't ask her permission) I would want to have the mother's permission first, but otherwise I don't have a problem with bf'ing someone else's child. I would definately do it again. If it was someone I was close with, I would be fine with my baby being bf by someone else. It would feel a little strange, but I would much prefer my baby get human milk than formula from a can!
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:10 AM
 
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Absolutely! I've always thought this would be a wonderful thing to do for a low-supply/working mom. I'd love to!
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:14 AM
 
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I would nurse another's baby. My preemie got four days of ebm from a friend of mine who had a preemie who was going home to die (Trisomy 13). She had more milk pumped than he could eat and shared her prefect also preemie milk with us. The NICU about had a fit, but I signed a bit scary waiver so they would let me use it for her. I then shared my EBM leftovers once I got her nursing with a childbirth client of mine who had twins and nursing/supply issues when her boys had gastric trouble with supplemental formula. I had another student who had latching issues and her SIL who was nursing her third came over and nursed the baby for several days and taught the baby how to nurse better (nothing like experience). I think that our discomfort with this is part and parcel of our whole crazy sick culture of breast=sex.

Lorrie
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:16 AM
 
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i have one friend with who i have considered this but its not happening because of dietary concerns.
liesl has tried to nurse on her but she isnt vegan and i considered it, but veganism is important to me.

her son recently gave me a hungry for milk look but i had to tell him "sorry little guy, i eat things youre allergic to"

if something were to happen to me i can only hope that one of my friends would help liesl out and nurse her, vegan or not.

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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Old 01-05-2007, 02:17 AM
 
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Yes, I have breastfeed a friend's baby. The mom was in a conference and I was with the baby in the hotel room, along with my toddler. The baby began to be unconsolable and I knew that mommy was not available. She latched right on and went to sleep soon afterwards.

Shane - Homeschooling mom to three boys (12, 1-, 8) and living the open life with my husband.

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Old 01-05-2007, 02:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tracymom View Post
It's effin decisiveness.
My deciseveness that I would never allow someone else to BF my baby or vice versa confuses you?

Okee dokee, then.
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by shematrix View Post
I'll be flammed for this, but I would rather my dd have formula than nurse off someone elese.

No offense to anyone on this thread who would do otherwise. Just not my thing.

TM2
: I won't flame ya, because that's exactly how I feel. Whatever tickles your pickle, right??
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:32 AM
 
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Are you talking about from me on the other thread? I didn't mean to be nasty to you.
LOL, misunderstandings abound tonight.

Not at all, not at all. A whole other board somewhere else.

You weren't nasty to me at all, we simply had a (VERY minor) misunderstanding, which is to be fully expected on a messageboard.

No, I was made most unwelcome on another board when I said something that went against the typical advice given there. Nothing at all to do with mothering.com forums at all.
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:37 AM
 
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Immediately upon it being necessary.
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:48 AM
 
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No flames here, but curiosity. I'm maybe on the extreme end of milk-sharing enthusaism, even activism (I donate milk, I talk to strangers about donating milk, and I've invited a mama to nurse my baby when she watches her), but I'm curious about the rationale of those who wouldn't.

Is it a privacy thing--like the relationship part is perhaps more important than the nursing part of "nursing relationship"? Would you make an exception in the case of a newborn or a sick baby (in which case maybe you could think of it as medicine rather than milk?)? Do you feel the same way about sharing expressed milk?

Is it concerns about the possibility of communicable disease or illness?

It's not even really idle curiosity on my part. I tell a lot of people about milk donation in an effort to raise awareness and it would be really helpful to get an idea of how crunchy mamas who aren't into it feel about it.
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Old 01-05-2007, 02:53 AM
 
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Yeah - I've nursed my neice a few times when she was a wee one. I loved the look she gave me before settling in . . like "Oh, I guess you'll do "

I wish I could find a good friend who would nurse my two year old!
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Old 01-05-2007, 03:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by charligrl03 View Post
AND...I think there's a troll lurking around here!!....I'm sure this "knowledgeable person" knows who they are!
Darnit, Sherlock, you busted me. :
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Old 01-05-2007, 03:04 AM
 
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I voted yes, if it were necessary I would breastfeed any hungry child. On the other hand though I have to say that when it happened to me I was surprised at how upset and uncomfortable I was. Th e situation was when my very good friend came for my ds2's birth and stayed for 2 weeks after, she is older with adult children so no bm, and she would put my ds2 to her breast at every opportunity she got openly saying that she missed bf so much. It really upset postpartum me but I felt too uncomfortable and freaked out to say anything but the thoughts I was having were that I needed the baby to nurse to establish supply, and he was a sleepy baby so I didn't want him wasting his energy nursing fruitlessly (or milklessly) I never did talk to her about it and it has never happened since, I became very baby possessive! I don't really think it's the sort of question that can have a straight yes/no answer, like so much else in life it can depend on the situation.
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Old 01-05-2007, 03:07 AM
 
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tie-dyed - I appreciate your curiosity, but really, it's all been said in previous posts. I agree with all the reasons given. BF'ing for me is a very intense, very personal realtionship between me & DD. It is much more than simple nourishment. And too, I have no control over what goes into the other body (and breastmilk)-- only control over what goes into mine. Like I said, whatever tickles your pickle. I just answered the survey, and apparently by doing so, confused one person and got called a troll by another person who has far fewer posts than I do. Amusing evening.
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Old 01-05-2007, 03:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momma earthical View Post
I voted yes, if it were necessary I would breastfeed any hungry child. On the other hand though I have to say that when it happened to me I was surprised at how upset and uncomfortable I was. Th e situation was when my very good friend came for my ds2's birth and stayed for 2 weeks after, she is older with adult children so no bm, and she would put my ds2 to her breast at every opportunity she got openly saying that she missed bf so much. It really upset postpartum me but I felt too uncomfortable and freaked out to say anything but the thoughts I was having were that I needed the baby to nurse to establish supply, and he was a sleepy baby so I didn't want him wasting his energy nursing fruitlessly (or milklessly) I never did talk to her about it and it has never happened since, I became very baby possessive! I don't really think it's the sort of question that can have a straight yes/no answer, like so much else in life it can depend on the situation.
I think that you were right to be upset. You're right that you needed him on you to establish supply.

Furthermore, she did it without asking. It also sounds like she was intrusive about it, and frankly selfish. She wasn't even doing it for his sake, she was simply being narcissistic without regards to the need you and he both had to establish your supply.

Babies aren't toys.

I would have been highly offended, also. Not at someone else breastfeeding him, but the manner and attitude with which she did it.

Furthermore, she was taking over your bonding time with him. Which only makes it that much worse.

I personally think your displeasure is highly justified. I agree with you that in that case, it definitely is a matter of "case by case basis." If someone were breastfeeding my child as if she were a toy put here to allow her to do something she missed doing, I would be quite incensed. Particularly if done in such a high-handed, inconsiderate way.



In fact, I just got irritated and annoyed just reading about someone doing that. How incredibly intrusive and rude.
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Old 01-05-2007, 04:06 AM
 
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My MIL tried to nurse my SIL's kids. She obviously wasn't making milk anymore, she said she just did it to comfort them. That, I think, is weird and wrong. So, now everytime MIL is holding DS I joke and tell her to keep her boobs put away.
I would feel comfortable with a close friend. Also, I always think BM is the best option, and would rather him be nursed by someone than given a bottle of formula in an emergency situation.

Mama to two lovely boys and a new baby due mid-May 2011
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Old 01-05-2007, 04:20 AM
 
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I have a dear friend who how has a daughter that is 4 days older then Jack...She took care of Jack while I did some consulting...we would also baby swap so we could go to dr appt and out with our dhs every month or so...that said she nursed jack and I nursed her little one when ever it was necessary...It is not uncommon for me to be nursing Jack and her little one ask for milk and vice versa...

For us it feels totally normal and natural...I have also pumped and donated as I always had over supply and Jack would never take a bottle

-Lori
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Old 01-05-2007, 04:45 AM
 
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I would, and I would let *some* people nurse my kids. For me it is all about health- so if the mama was a friend and I new she was not yucky I would be fine with it. I think I would feel a bit weird at first, as one always does with new things- but I would get over it- if my child needed it and they had it- go for it. I am also poly and if I had a partner that had a baby or if I had another one I would hope we would both be okay with nursing the non-birthed child.

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Old 01-05-2007, 10:30 AM
 
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I would nurse another child and have thought of it often especially (as mentioned previously) when I'm in public and hear a little one screaming away and feel that if I could just snuggle and nurse that babe they would feel better.

My SIL is due for her first babe in May and since I will still be BFing then, the thought has crossed my mind a lot more. I would nurse my niece/nephew in a heartbeat if needed. I'm not sure how my bro/SIL would feel about that though.
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Old 01-05-2007, 11:00 AM
 
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In an emergency situation, yes, without hesitation.

In an non-emergency situation, yes, if I knew the child's mama would not object.
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Old 01-05-2007, 11:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by RedWine View Post
In an emergency situation, yes, without hesitation.

In an non-emergency situation, yes, if I knew the child's mama would not object.

That sums it up for me, too... (OK not right now, since it would be fruitless, but ideally speaking. )

I would prefer to have a mama's permission, though because I take medications. They're all "safe" for nursing & I nursed my son while taking them, but I'd prefer to leave that up to the mama.
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Old 01-05-2007, 11:31 AM
 
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Yes! I babysat a close friends baby from 4 weeks to 6 mos. and he was either ebm fed or formula, after 4 mos. I really wanted to nurse him, but didn't think my friend would like the idea. Many times I held him while he cried for his mom, or more milk and ached to help, but his mom was very clear that her way was best (probably because she didn't have to listen to him crying half the day...):
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Old 01-05-2007, 11:39 AM
 
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I voted depends on who - I have bf my sister's kids and she mine but beyond that I'm not sure, I wouldn't like just anyone to bf my kids I would have to be really close to them.

ewe + dh = our little lambs + we and have many just : and : life .
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Old 01-05-2007, 12:24 PM
 
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I would do it for anyone in my family or any of my friends if I were able to (I'm having some BFing issues at the moment I'm trying to get resolved). It would probably depend on the situation if it was someone I wasn't really familiar with...
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Old 01-05-2007, 12:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knowerofnada View Post
My deciseveness that I would never allow someone else to BF my baby or vice versa confuses you?

Okee dokee, then.
It was the word "effin," a loaded word, IMO, that stopped me in my tracks, coupled with no further explanation. I would think "vehemence" was the word I wanted, but I couldn't think of it last night. Your vehemence puzzled me. Your explanation to tie-dyed makes sense, though, and I thank you for the clarification. Pax.
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Old 01-05-2007, 12:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mom at home View Post
I think it's a great idea as long as everyone is comfortable with it.
: I would never breastfeed anyone's babe if I did not have the permission of their mother and I would be fairly unhappy if someone breastfed my kid without my permission. That said, I have certain people who know I would be okay with them nursing my kids (two friends and my sister) and I would not feel like they needed my permission for an specific nursing session.

"There is no belief, however foolish, that will not gather its faithful adherents who will defend it to the death." -Isaac Asimov read.gif

 
 
 
 

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Old 01-05-2007, 12:45 PM
 
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Not without any written or oral consent. To me if you are unsure on how the mother would respond, part of you knows she may be upset. I would not want anyone BF my DD, period. Unless it were a life threatening emergency or natural disaster. If I found out one of my friends did nurse my daughter without my permission I couldn't stay friends with her.
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Old 01-05-2007, 03:41 PM
 
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I don't think there is anything wrong with it, so long as all parties involved feel the same way. Before formula, if a woman was having nursing issues a wet nurse would help and no one thought anything of it. Imagine a society where everyone bfd and it was so natural. No strange looks in public when you want to feed your child. No one telling you that it's gross or disgusting. No one telling you that your 6 mos. old is too old to nurse because he's eating solids. sigh....
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Old 01-05-2007, 04:10 PM
 
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I have. I would again. And right now because of milk issues myself I took the offer of a close friend to give my DS her pumped milk at DC because my pumping supply was horrible...and I was not pumping enough to meet his needs.

I understand those who feel the relationship issue is a big one...but the baby knows the difference between norishment and the MAMA!! I've nursed 3 other babe's in my lactating time...and while it was a different sort of thing...It's nothing like nursing my sweet nursling!
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Old 01-05-2007, 06:07 PM
 
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Did it for my bestfriend. Ds was 8mos and I was a dairy queen at the time , and she had just given birth to her 2nd child and we were going on 1.5wks w/ out her milk coming in, so Inursed her babie after she'd nurse the colostrum
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