|View Poll Results: Would you bf someone else's child?|
|Depends on who .... ie family, close friends||277||36.84%|
|Voters: 752. You may not vote on this poll|
I dn't think it would bother me so much, but I am not sure how she would feel, and I don't know if i would want someone doing it to my kid??? :
Have you done it? or has someone done it to your kid??
mama to 7 amazing children married to my main man for 24 years and finally home FULL time
My sister and her good friend nursed each other's kids when they were watching each other's kids. But as the kids got older they wanted nothing to do with that other, foreign nipple.
I think it's a great idea as long as everyone is comfortable with it.
I have to admit that it didn't go well. Neither child really wanted to nurse anyone but mom and the latches were so different that my friend and I both commented on it to each other. In the end I think I tried only a few times as did she without much luck.
I had mixed feelings about the experience. In theory I believe that it is an absolutely great way for a caregiver to bond and help a child. In practice it kind of weirded me out to have a different baby staring up into my eyes.
So glad the topic was brought up as we both felt like we were a little out there when we decided to try it.
mama to Sophie 7/00
i had her in my sling and she started to cry, so i just nursed her. she latched right on, nursed happily and promptly fell asleep. i don't really think she was hungry anyway, just missing her mama and needing a little comfort. so it was perfect.
Sure, I'd nurse another baby, but only if the child's mother and I were close enough so that I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was a comfortable solution for everyone involved. Even though I'd much perfer a wetnurse situation to formula were an unforeseeable emergancy to arise, it would be hard for me, emotionally, to have someone else nurse my DD. I'm fairly sure that I'd feel no small amount of hurt and betryal, no matter how much my cognitive mind knows that this doesn't make sense. And I think I'd have mixed emotions bfing another babe. Mamawasophie, I have often considered how strange it would be to look down and see a different set of eyes looking back at you, and to feel a totally different latch, so it's interesting to hear you describe it. But I'd be willing to give it a try, were everything to feel right (for both the Bearers of Nipples and the Hungry Hippos.) The feelings of hesitation I have stem from the fact that I view bfing as so much more than the act of putting food in a baby's stomach; to me it serves far more than its nutriative function. The emotional function it serves in my relationship w/DD is so sweet, so tender, so loving, and so personal between her and I. This is a real touchy issue for a lot of folks. I think that many of us would have to be in the situation to know exactly how we'd respond.
How's that for an all over the place answer?
But this formula-fed baby was suffering from horrible excema and I believed if he just got some b-milk his skin would clear up. It did get a little better but didn't go away completely until he was switched from formula to straight cow's milk.
Earthmama - maybe the father would be open to it?! It could help fill in a void this poor child is missing from its mama. Just tell him about how she asks and you are ok w/ it. Or maybe he would be worried it is too motherly for your roll? It seems it would be beneficial for the child. How sad.
Sorry if this is a little off the topic...
But just to add something cultural to the pot, I have been reading The Red Tent which I believe is historically correct for the most part and it lends a new light on the subject matter when you consider how these ancient cultures would "suck", as they put it, each others babies and really cooperatively help rear each others children. It made me think a lot about the philosophy of how it takes a village to raise a child etc.
I would BF another baby if and only if I had permission and I would let my DD (if she was a baby still) bf from another mama if and only if I was asked first. Last year when Kaya was sick some of you amazing mamas offered to sent EBM, I woulve given it to her had my milk not decided to come back in after months of weaning.:
as long as it was ok with the mother. As a daycare provider I have to tell you, anyone that feeds your baby regularly bonds with him/her even if using a bottle. As long as the person actually holds that baby anyway. They still look up at you with those trusting eyes. That's why I don't understand moms that'll let just about anybody give their baby a bottle.
Also a good friend is moving back to my town and we've already decided that for watching each other's babies pumping would be a waste of time since we are both bfing.
Sorry if I inadvertantly linked reflux w/ form. feeding, but that particular situation hit a sore spot with me...guess I should give a bit more info. I'm convinced that this baby's prob was caused by a formula intolerence because Mom quit bf after 3 wks because-in a nutshell- she 'didn't want to be tied down with it'. Started the cheapest formula she could find without consulting her Dr., LC, etc. And then switched brand several times in a few weeks.
She then called me several times wanting to know why he was all of a sudden spitting up and fussing all the time. I expressed a few times-tactfully I hope- my opinion that she needed to either continue bfing before her milk dried up or at least consult a Ped about her formula choice...but no, she waited until the problem was severe enough for the ped to recommend surgical intervention..
Ahhh, this is getting way off subject...just wanted to explain a little before I gave the wrong impression.
|Originally posted by lisamarie
But.....when you see a crying baby, say at the mall or in church, and the mom does nothing to console it.....don't you just have the urge to put that dear baby to your breast and nourish them emotionally and physically?
I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with nursing someone elses child though. unless of course the child objects.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
And you are not an airhead! I love your posts!