Just found out Im pregnant.... again. :o) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-11-2004, 10:52 AM - Thread Starter
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And Ofcourse We are happy but I am also worried and anxious. This will be baby #4. Wow. I cant beleive Im going to have 4 kids!?! And how in the world am I going to cope with tandem nursing while pregnant!?! Im ready for my oldest, Brennen, to wean. He is going to be 3 Oct 17th. (About 3 mnths) I dont mind him nursing most of the time but I do feel touched out and feel that there is little time for me after all my kids and the daycare kids have taken thier share. My Youngest, Donovan, is only 15mnths old so I *really* want him to continue to nurse. Im scared he will wean during this pregnancy as well. I truely feel that Brennen only returned to nursing beacuse he was a avid suckler and took a passy that he went to when the milk dried up. So When Donovan came and the milk came back it only took about a week for him to return to the breast. And I swear the only reason he didnt return right away was beacuse he was scared to take it away from the baby. He drank EMB from a sippy cup sometiems mixed with Oveltine to make chocolate mama milk until returning to the breast. (big grin). He has always been VERY intot he nursing. There was one point where I thought I was goign to die if he didnt wean soon. But ofcourse I fought with myself back n forth on waht I wanted to do. I want him to descide when to wean but there are times where I just need ME time. So back to the main point.... How do I deal with tandem nursing through pregnancy? I remember nursung jsut one through! Ghah! Any advice? Support? And how the heck am I goint to tandem nurse 3!!!!! I cant even imagine that! I think If I could have my way Id liek Brennen to descide to wean sometime after 3 but before the new baby comes. This needs to be HIS descision! But I dont want Donovan who seems less attatched to *ba* to wean, so how do I keep him interested? Donovan doesnt use a passy so We cant use that as a subsitute until the milk comes back. Is there anyway I can encourage him to continute to nurse? Or is it just a see what happens kind of thing?

~sigh~ Well Sorry for rambling just needed to get some thoughts out thank you for reading this far!

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#2 of 5 Old 07-11-2004, 06:43 PM
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Just wanted to say congrats on your newest blessing........I have four too and it's awesome. Everything will work out with nursing too!
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#3 of 5 Old 07-11-2004, 07:21 PM
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No advice on the nursing situation, but...

Congrats on you new baby blessing!

Mama to DD#1 2001 reading.gif, DD#2 2002 2whistle.gif, dog2.gif, & cat.gif. Me & my man partners.gifbelly.gif June 2014.
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#4 of 5 Old 07-11-2004, 07:24 PM
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Congrats! I'm tandem nursing through this pregnancy as well. Hoping that my almost 4 year old will choose to wean sometime soon. She seems to be losing interest as the milk is decreasing. Hang in there!
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#5 of 5 Old 07-11-2004, 07:27 PM
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It does seem very overwhelming when you're tandem nursing and find out you're pregnant. All the what-ifs and wonderings, combined with the emotions surrounding the pregnancy and birth can be difficult to deal with at times.

I tandem nursed through my daughter's pregnancy and triandem nursed for 18 months afterwards until my oldest self-weaned on his fifth birthday. The bond my three children have is absolutely incredible.

I suggest, if you don't have it already, you get the book "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" by Hilary Flower. It has some info on tandem nursing through pregnancy and triandem nursing. (And my story is the first mother's story )

How do you deal with tandem nursing during pregnancy? The best you can! Our fears and visions of what it's going to be like are often worse than what it actually is. Figure out what works best for you and your family. Try to take time out for yourself when you can, whether it's locking yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes or having you SO take care of the kids while you take a walk or have a mama's night out every so often. Many moms find taking time for themselves makes the nursing time easier. Don't be afraid of setting limits if you need to. If you're not happy, your kids won't be either. Some coping mechanisms ... for when you're experiencing the "can't-I-have-my-body-back-for-five-minutes" feeling ... include limiting the duration of nursing sessions (by distraction, by playing games including counting from 10 to 1, yelling blastoff as you de-latch the nursling, and then zooming him through the air; etc.), limiting the frequency of nursing (by talking with the nursling and explaining that mama is tired and needs a rest before nursing, or that yes they can nurse, but after ____, etc.), practicing relaxation techniques (progressive relaxation, breathing techniques ... also great for preparing for childbirth) or taking a 'nursing vacation' (one mom used a light w/ a timer...when she was really "nursed-out" she'd announce to her kids that she'd be "open for nursing" only when the light was on. She had the option of turning the light on herself or waiting for the light to turn on via the timer, which she set so the light would be on for 30 minutes every 3 hours, as that was what she was comfortable with ... she would take her nurslings' needs into consideration and never refused when a nursling really needed to nurse, but it helped her to weed out those I'm-bored type of nursings and her kids thought it was a wonderful game. Her 4 year old even made her an "open/closed" sign to wear around her neck!)

Tandem nursing 3 is often called triandem nursing. It sounds overwhelming, but often our impressions of what it's going to be like are a lot worse than it will be. Some moms find assigning the older nurslings to one breast and the baby to the other works best. That way the baby isn't on anyone's "side" and the older two can usually cope with sharing. If that doesn't sound like it will work, assigning each of the older child a breast (so they don't fight amongst themselves) and having the baby share with both of them often works.

Introducing the concept early that breastmilk will be all that the baby can eat and that the baby will have first dibs on nursing seems to be important. Many moms have the fear that the older nurslings will see the baby as an intruder on their turf (your breasts), but illustrating that it's a NEED for the baby (role playing with a doll helps a lot!) and that the baby can't eat anything else usually takes care of that.

My boys "taught" their little sister to nurse. It made the older nurslings feel important and gave them an immediate roll in the baby's life. We encouraged them to tell Haley all about mamamilk and nursing and how wonderful it is. They really enjoyed doing so and were overjoyed when Haley would nurse and were her cheering section.

As far as either of your kids weaning ... many moms find that waiting and seeing is the least stressful way for everyone. Moms who "plan" for an older nursling to wean (or not) often find them stressed when they don't (or do). If a child is ready to wean, they'll wean. If not, they usually won't, or if they do, they might be interested in going back to the breast when the baby is born. Each child is different.

Yikes! This got long! HTH and if you have any more questions, please ask!

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

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