Is It Just Me, Or Does Anyone Else ...? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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#91 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 01:02 AM
 
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I can see lots of our mamas here are getting upset, please don't be upset and don't feel bad, I hate to see you guys justifying your nursing a toddler, just because someone with no education whatsoever on breastfeeding logs onto our forum just to get some attention. Not only I find that sad and pathetic, but also very immature. I hope you educate yourself for the sake of your children, if you have any.
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#92 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 01:05 AM
 
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"I think breastfeeding will become a problem when a child gets to an age where he or she can recollect, or even ask to be breastfeed."

Have you ever known anyone who can recall their breastfeeding experience? I just wonder, because I have known people whose children remember nursing, and they remember it as a fond time in their young childhood. I was breastfed til I self weaned at two, and I have no recollection of nursing, and that makes me sad. Perhaps if I remembered my mother's unconditional love through her breastmilk, I'd be closer to her. (We have a pretty good relationship now, but I bet the memory of nursing would make it stronger.)
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#93 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 01:08 AM
 
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I don't have time to read every word in this thread, but I wanted to add my 2 cents to the pot...

Strangely, my pregnancy ideas about nursing were that I'd read every quality resourse on the planet, plan for any contingency, and of course, have no problems because I had prepared so well. I'd BF until DS decided to stop and he'd be perfect b/c of my milk and nurturing. Ahhh, the luxury of thinking you know stuff before you've been there!

Like stafl, My DS had latching problems after we were in a car accident in the 35 week of pg. His head was engaged and he sustained a jaw injury. I can't begin to describe what hell it is to see your newborn starving and not know why. So I pumped and cried all the time. It took 12 weeks to find a ped chiro who eventually healed his injuries, thank God. But even with the best LCs in the world, he absolutely REFUSED to have anything to do with BF. He has consistently screamed anytime I remotely suggest latching. My milk supply has dropped steadily since 6 mo. mostly b/c of my chronic pain from my injuries and I'm sure from PPD.

My point: I have truely and profoundly *grieved* that I couldn't nurse my son. Do not underestimate how powerful it is. I admit it's really hard for me when I read about people taking that bond so lightly, or sexualizing it, or whatever. But I do remember well the pregnancy fantasies of how things will be, and I hope that you never have BF go so painfully wrong that your biggest wish is for for nothing more than to nurse your child.

Good luck to you and baby!
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#94 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 01:20 AM
 
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oh aira, that is heartbreaking!

I am not sure if the OP is still here, but wanted to pop in and add myself to the list of those who started out thinking of breasfeeding for 6 months to a year. Or actually, it was originally 3-6 months. I was supposed to go back to work at 3 months and didn't think pumping would be fun.

largely thanks to this place I realized just important it would be for me to keep up pumping. So I did.. Dd got older and older, and the 6 month became a year.. Then the WHO's recommendation of 2 yrs started to sound like a plan. I stopped pumping by then, but also switched to a part time job. Everybody IRL kept asking "so when are you weaning?"

It just made no sense. Like so many other people mentioned, your little baby doesn't all of a sudden go from a tiny 1.99 year old to a 2 year old toddler and VOILA, you're done. She needed the nutrition, the comfort, etc. This place helped me a lot as she neared the 2 yr old mark and the pressure grew.

Now, noone bothers me anymore they know better. Dd just turned three last month, and still nurses. And she will for as long as she wants. I really don't think it will be 13

sorry for the long post, if the OP is not a troll (even if she is, there might be others out there reading this) maybe another call to 'wait and see' will help. I really feel like I was in your shoes 3.5 years ago.. (well, I do think I was a bit more open-minded )
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#95 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 01:33 AM
 
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To newlife:

Pumping after 1 year does get much harder.

I'm an expert pumper. :LOL I exclusively pumped for my child the first 6 weeks, moved her to the breast slowly due to health issues that made her unable to latch, went back to work 12 hrs a day when she was 3 weeks old, stopped working at 3 mos, went back at five, and at 12 mos, work 4hrs/day.

She still nurses as much now as she did at 6 mos, but my breasts just don't respond the same way. I pump half of what I did just 6 mos ago. I have more than enough when we ar together, but really have a hard time pumping now. For example, we were separated 10 hours today, and I only pumped about 6 oz. That's waaaay less than I KNOW she nurses in that time period. A few months ago I would have gotten 12-14 oz in the same period of time.

Try picking up a good breastfeeding book.

and to Pajaras, You can pump and work. It's work, but soo worth it. Read "nursing mother working mother" (or is it working mother, nursing mother?). I found it super helpful.
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#96 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 01:38 AM
 
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What she said! And her, and her, and her, and her, and her, and her, and her, and her...

Well said mamas! I'd add my 2 cents, but gotta go nurse my toddler to sleep...
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#97 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 02:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aira
I don't have time to read every word in this thread, but I wanted to add my 2 cents to the pot...

Strangely, my pregnancy ideas about nursing were that I'd read every quality resourse on the planet, plan for any contingency, and of course, have no problems because I had prepared so well. I'd BF until DS decided to stop and he'd be perfect b/c of my milk and nurturing. Ahhh, the luxury of thinking you know stuff before you've been there!

Like stafl, My DS had latching problems after we were in a car accident in the 35 week of pg. His head was engaged and he sustained a jaw injury. I can't begin to describe what hell it is to see your newborn starving and not know why. So I pumped and cried all the time. It took 12 weeks to find a ped chiro who eventually healed his injuries, thank God. But even with the best LCs in the world, he absolutely REFUSED to have anything to do with BF. He has consistently screamed anytime I remotely suggest latching. My milk supply has dropped steadily since 6 mo. mostly b/c of my chronic pain from my injuries and I'm sure from PPD.

My point: I have truely and profoundly *grieved* that I couldn't nurse my son. Do not underestimate how powerful it is. I admit it's really hard for me when I read about people taking that bond so lightly, or sexualizing it, or whatever. But I do remember well the pregnancy fantasies of how things will be, and I hope that you never have BF go so painfully wrong that your biggest wish is for for nothing more than to nurse your child.

Good luck to you and baby!
This sounds so much like me. My son was born with a severe cleft lip and palate and couldn't nurse at all. Screamed at the suggestion of the breast. But he was born beautifully at home and I had every intention of nursing and having it go well. After all, I was breastFED until I was three (note: I don't remember it at all and since I was quite articulate as a child, I am certain that I could ask for it - Never had any Oedipus issues, however). I pumped breastmilk for 13 months, but starting at 10 months my son's demand started to outpace my supply. We began to use formula about once a day to fill in the gaps. I tried herbs, pumping more, pumping longer - nothing worked to up my once overwhelming supply.

Finally when he was 11 1/2 months, I began to let my supply dwindle and finally stopped altogether at 13 months. Pumping for a toddler is very difficult, yet I'd had tons of milk in the beginning. I had filled our freezer completely and had several days worth in the fridge. Slowly pumping didn't bring what it once had. Lots of people can hardly pump at all. Most moms I know struggle to get a few ounces a day. I had 8 to 10 oz a pumping. Sometimes more.

I would give anything to be nursing my now 28-month old still. It would be much simpler to soothe him with my breast than with a sippy cup. Not to mention our until recent heavy dependence on pacifiers. I look forward to allowing this new baby to self-wean, though I am certain I might have my limits. Breastfeeding should continue as long as both the mother and child are comfortable with it, just as La Leche League suggests.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#98 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 02:30 AM
 
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I think everyone is doing a great job with their responses

 

 

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#99 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 03:25 AM
 
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Normally, I would be quite blunt and rude in my response to such a post, but I looked at your sig, so I will take it easy on you.

Many of us here did not set out to nurse toddlers. When you hold that newborn baby, you do not say, I can't wait to nurse him when he is 3! Before you nurse, when you see it, you may even think it is weird. As a teen, I did. But, it just happens. WHY? Because he is your baby. Because his needs do not disappear at 12 months. Because the glorious BF relationship you have, which is quite complex at this time, cannot just go away overnight. Because you would not dare dream of ripping it away from him as doing such would cause severe trauma, and THAT could lead to a "complex" IMO. It is just one of those things that you have to wait on before you really committ to an opinion on it. When 12 months roll around, you may find that 12 months is not as old as you thought. Just take it one day at a time. Good luck with your new baby.
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#100 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 03:51 AM
 
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To the OP, here is a link to provide you with information on the breast's function and their anatomy. I hope you will read it to understand your body better and to let go of the false implications of breastfeeding that you have internalized from society.

http://www.007b.com/nipple_stimulation_sexual.php

I'd also like to recommend an excellent book:

Milk, Money, and Madness: The Culture and Politics of Breastfeeding by Naomi Baumslag MD, MPH and Dia L. Michels
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#101 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 04:17 AM
 
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wow, after reading this whole thread, i don't understand why, since you feel so ultimately set in your own world of beliefs, why on Earth you'd go out of your way to tell (in the name of inquiry originally) so many of these loving mamas that they're "damaging their babes psychologically" by loving them & growing them however they see fit? i'm stunned at your OP & then your subsequent responses to try to get YOUR point across to those who have soo much more experience than you do at this point. are you wanting to learn?

maybe the universe is using MDC to help you awaken to other ways? b'c these mamas are so very rich in wisdom & knowledge that it's intimidating at times! just open up a bit & really read what they say... it's pure love, nothing wrong with that. & people, including little people, are SO very different regarding personal needs... maybe your babes will self-wean at a year, maybe you won't even get the opportunity to BF at all, at any rate, let the child tell you what they need & it won't be "wrong" ever! babies are smarter than most adults, imo.

best luck with your pg & delivery & BF'ing it's a whole 'nother world of beauty, as I'm told by the gorgeous, educated women here.

"When the external begins to define the internal, instead of the internal defining the external, one begins living as a mortal rather than as a universal being." ~ unknown
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#102 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 05:17 AM
 
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Newlife,
I just want to say that you coming here to learn about ways of parenting that may be new to you shows that you are making a very intelligent decision as a parent, and you haven't even given birth yet!!

My advice to you is to keep reading and asking questions. It's excellent. When you are learning, try to see things from a very nonjudgemental view. That way you can really learn from your investigations. For a while, maybe try just reading up on things and if you have questions about what you are reading (like if something doesn't make sense) come to a place like this. I'm sure someone will be able to explain it to you. There are a lot of smart mama's here. Just think, one day you'll be giving a new mom advice and help with her breastfeeding! If you keep up your research, you'll have the answers to give.
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#103 of 103 Old 12-17-2004, 05:55 AM
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Mothering upholds and supports extended breastfeeding. Doing so is a part of its core purpose in print and on the internet. Members are welcome to come here and ask questions to seek information about extended breastfeeding *if* their intent is to learn and understand.

However, if a member's intent is to argue and debate then such posts are inappropriate and not welcome. That is what I see happening here so I am closing this discussion.

This forum is filled with information about extended breastfeeding as well as mothers who have bountiful knowledge and experience. But the purpose is to inform and support, not denigrate or discount. If your mind is open you will find plenty here to absorb and benefit from. If your purpose is otherwise, this is simply not the place for it.


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