Some links for you below. There are so many advantages to child-led weaning and extended nursing. The information here can explain it to you better.
Once you have given birth and you begin to breastfeed this amazing, incredible person, you will understand the "whys". It is very beautiful, and so much better for the child's health, and I personally found, much less behavior problems than other people's children, who bottlefed or weaned early.
I wish you all the best.
Also, there are some good books out there.
to get you started.
Four years later, as I nursed my 4 year old dd and my 1.5 year old DS I reflected how funny it is while some people measure "readiness" to be nursing with first teeth, walking, talking or first birthday I was nursing a child who could competently read chapter books. When DD weaned at 50 months, my only regret was the artificial barriers I had erected to her natural nursing pattern while pg with DS.
Biologically, there is nothing sexual about the breast. No more than ears & hips (which both can function erotically, but that is not there *biolgical* function). Rather, the function of the mammary glands in all mammals is to provide milk for their young. While there is nothing wrong with adding to their funcitonality, to imply that the new functions must replace the old is just wrong.
For additional information on the natural age of weaning in humans, I encourage you to read articles by Kathryn Dettwyler (anthropologist) that suggest the biological age for weaning is between 2.5-7. While the AAP recommends a minimum of one year of bfeeding and then as long as mutually desired, other organizations (including Family Doctors in the US & the WHO) recommend a minimum of two years. The immune system is not fully formed until closer to six, suggesting that nursing is benificial until well into childhood.
And this is not even considering the many emotional benifits to both mother and child that comes with sustained nursing.
Good luck to you with your birth and the wonderful time following.
Breastfeeding your child is a very personal relationship. It is a relationship between the Mom and the child. For external people beyond this relationship to have an opinion of that specific relationship is really counterproductive to all involved.
General blanket statements that breastfeeding toddlers is wrong are very naive. Sure everyonce in a while the relationship between the mother and breastfeeding toddler is less than healthy but this is rare. I don't think its appropriate for you to make a statement that includes all breastfeeding relationships, healthy or not.
Its like deciding you dislike a food without even trying it.
I think you should remember this thread and when you dc is one, and probably well away from weaning, you should reread your initial post.
For the record, I never imagined myself breastfeeding a toddler. I institually ended up here. Taking it day to day. Taking cues from my dd and myself.
Good luck to you in all that is to come!
I recall telling the pediatrician that I'd nurse to one year, then that would be it. She said to just wait and see how I felt after the first year.
I nursed dd#1 to three years old, when she self-weaned. I tandem nursed my first two, then dd#2 self-weaned at two years old when I was very pregnant. I'm now into my fourth year of nursing and have forgotten those 'rules' that I had in mind for each child.
Just wait and see. You may be surprised at how your opinions will alter when you become a breastfeeding mother. Your baby will still seem like your baby at his/her first birthday.
Before I understood it I did think there was something wrong with it. Then I read about it and meet people and have come to understand it is healthy and should be normal.
Sometimes we aren't exposed to things and tend to think they are wrong because we haven't had that experience.
What you may come to understand is that a two year old is still very much a baby.
I'm in a more mainstream group of mamas, all with the same age babies who have been together since the early months of pg and essentially ALL of the breastfeeders are still going strong (and three of us are preggo again!) Maybe one or two had planned on nursing beyond a year - and now all of us still do. There's no magical transformation that takes place one day, your milk is still as nutritious and the health and attachment benefits are still there.
I'm almost 24 wks pg with DC #2, and still nursing DS (well, he's hit or miss lately - some times he opts out) and I would be so sad to have him completely self-wean now. It's been a wonderful and special part of our relationship - and one I wish on any mother!!
PS I forgot a key part - it's the biggest gun in my arsenal! Meaning - hands down, there is no more efficient or better way to calm a freaked out toddler, settle down a wired one at bedtime, or easily get one who's woken up with excruciating teething pain and is screaming at 3am back to sleep. When we travel and I need to get DS settled into a completely new place to sleep, it never fails to soothe and comfort him. The thought of NOT having nursing in my "bag of tricks" anymore is a scary, scary idea!!! So, not only are the benefits clear to the child, they're pretty cool for the mom too
Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.
What are YOU projecting onto something wholely innocent, loving, and natural, not to mention biologically normal?
|I do plan on beast feeding, and mostly because of the bond that it creates, but after a year I think the mother child bond is well established and their is really no reason for actual breastfeeding to continue.|
I am now nursing my 3+ year old and let me tell you, there is nothing "gross" about it. Even at the ripe old age of 3 years old, my baby is still my baby. She certainly doesn't look like the older kids I've seen nursing way back in my teens.
Circumcision is wrong, regardless of gender
The good thing is the more I come here and just look around, the more comfortable with it I feel! Best of luck to you!
Originally Posted by newlife
Okay is it just me or does anyone else find something wrong with breastfeeding after one year?
So no, there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding past 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... years as long as both mother and child are comfortable with the relationship. I for one hope my child remembers his nursing experience so that he will have a "healthy view" of breastfeeding and not a "sick/sexualized" view.
Take the time to educate yourself about breastfeeding and you might surprise yourself with the way you feel about it after your baby is born!
Yup, before my first was born, I'd have agreed with what you, the OP, said 100%.
I'll let that sentence stand alone because I want to emphasize the point. After Jenny was born, she was physically unable to nurse. I cannot describe to anyone who has not experienced the same thing just how devastating that was for me. This was coming directly on the heels of a very traumatic hospital intervention avalanche turned cesarean, and I not only had some pretty bad PPD going on, but PTSD as well. I was on a mission to make breastfeeding work, and I did eventually make it work. It was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Now, that perhaps colors everything I feel and believe about breastfeeding, so I am putting that out there first.
I saw for myself, first-hand, the huge difference in my child when she was nursing, and when she was being bottle-fed formula. Not just a difference in her physical body (and that alone should be convincing enough) but a huge difference in her emotional well-being! Breastfeeding, even though she was unable to get enough milk from my breasts, made that much of a difference, was that important to my baby. I saw just how much she really needed to nurse, whether she was getting any milk from me or not.
ok, so my baby just woke up and I'll have to make this short...
That you are here at MDC shows at least a passing interest in attachment parenting. AP is all about doing what's best for you and your baby. Once your baby is here you will most likely have to decide for yourself just what is best for that precious little one. And, if you really pay attention to your baby's needs, you will most likely find that nursing beyond the first year (or two or three) is indeed what your child really needs. It's not just about the milk. Nursing is about a very complex multitude of emotional and psychological issues. You'll see....
Well, my DS turned one in Dec 3 and I just can't imagine not nursing now. He still needs that quiet time and it is such a wonderful bonding experience! There are also NUMEROUS benefits, both to your baby AND you, to keep nursing. Your risk for things such as rheumatoid arthritis, breast cancer, etc. drop more the longer you nurse, and your baby's jaw/teeth benefit from extended nursing, as well as helping with brain development and immune system.
By posting, you are casting a net, looking for answers - if your mind was completely made up, you wouldn't have posted. So, you must be trying to understand this topic. PLEASE, educate yourself on this and remember, when you nurse your baby and realize how natural and wonderful it is, you may well change your mind.
When I got older, I thought that nursing a toddler was gross. Sick. Peverse.
It's amazing how much your mind can change when you have a child.
::::: Married for ten years to my good man :. Mama to my sweet and funny boy and my lovely little girl
As for a nursing 13 yo, It might be easier to take you seriously if you kept your posts in the realm of reality.
Wonder if my local bridge has lost their troll?
This is directed to newlife, just to be clear
Originally Posted by boston
I don't see anything at all wrong with nursing past a year. In fact, I think it makes perfect sense to nurse until age 2. (Though to be perfectly honest, I'm kind of skeeved out by people still nursing at age 3, or older. I just don't think it's necessary.)
Originally Posted by newlife
So, basically when a child becomes a toddler, teenager, ect. bonding should continue but not in the same way in my opinion. And as I said before I find nothing wrong with a toddler having breast milk because I think that is best, but still being breastfeed is a problem in my mind, and I think that it will manifest itself later in life.
And, when does a baby become a toddler become a child? Who makes these arbitrary guidelines?
I really have no problem with you asking questions (even ones that could potentially hurt other mamas) but at least LISTEN to what people are telling you. Read back through the links. Understand that you don't have enough life wisdom yet to make blanket statements like you are.
Also, I was breastfed into my 3rd year. So was my brother. I feel pretty good about myself, and we're both healthy and happy.