Is anyone else in shock that we are just "Breastfeeding" now? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 03:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Apparently our pleas were heard to take the "Extended" part out. Very cool, especially the sticky at the top. I'm wondering though if this is for all ages now. I don't think that would be good. It look like we might have two "Breastfeeding" boards now though. I don't see S & A anymore.

Please share your thoughts on the change. I'm off to explore...
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#2 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 03:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, upon exploration I discovered the new CLW forum! So, all my questions are answered and I am just elated!
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#3 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 03:26 PM
 
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Huh? Wha? WOW!



(off to look for the new forum.............)
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#4 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 03:34 PM
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Actually, i am quite upset. I personally have not chosen to have child led weaning, but have chosen gentle and respectful mother led weaning, as have many mothers here. It makes me feel very bad, as if there is no place here anymore for what i and others have chosen. I mean, i knew that the general attitude was shifting towards disdain for those who would not do CLW, but i had no idea i might be completely ostracized. Where are people like myself supposed to go now?

ETA: And now i have read Cynthias message in the new forum and am greeted by the implication that by leading her weaning myself, she might not be as independent or secure. I have no words for how livid i am at this moment. And how very unwelcome i feel.
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#5 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 03:45 PM
 
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WHH, I feel for you. I also practiced child respectful weaning with my children. I pushed too hard with my first and weaned her at 2 1/2 when I was 8 mos pg. I gently encouraged my 2nd child to wean while 8 mos pg again, b/c of the same reason, super sore nipples. She was welcome to resume after her brother was born, but did not desire to. She was 3 1/2.

I also gently encouraged my 3rd child to wean at age 4 1/2! He was down to one 2 minute nurse at bedtime and agreed easily and never looked back.

All this despite being a 10 yr member of LLL and subscriber to Mothering Magazne!
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#6 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 03:58 PM
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Lydia, I honestly do not understand why you feel there is a disdain or ostracizing occurring here. Discussions of mother-led weaning will be quite appropriate in this forum just as they would before. What was Getting Started and Overcoming Difficulties and Extended Breastfeeding is now combined into one forum - Breastfeeding. No disdain intended toward anyone. But Peggy does want to proclaim Mothering's advocacy for Child Led Weaning as a stand alone forum. That doesn't mean that mother-led weaning is looked down on. If you aren't interested in child-led weaning then I don't see why you would go to the board only to be offended by what positive messages are there about child-led weaning.

What I posted in the CLW forum is taken from Peggy O'Mara's book, Natural Family Living. When writing descriptive posts for our forums I prefer to use Peggy's words rather than my own.

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#7 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 05:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher
What was Getting Started and Overcoming Difficulties and Extended Breastfeeding is now combined into one forum - Breastfeeding.
Aha! Now I am getting the picture!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher
What I posted in the CLW forum is taken from Peggy O'Mara's book, Natural Family Living. When writing descriptive posts for our forums I prefer to use Peggy's words rather than my own.
I didn't understand either of these things from your post! I suggest you edit the post using the quote feature and attribute the quote.

I appreciate the work you do moderating all the forums and your efforts at continuous improvement of our discussion experiences.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#8 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 05:50 PM
 
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I guess I don't understand why there is now "Breastfeeding" to replace the "Getting Started & Difficulties" AND "Extended Nursing"? They both seemed fairly active and combining them makes it seem rather unwieldy. Idealy, IMO, there would be:

Getting Started & Difficulties
Sustained Nursing (or was it "Nursing Past Infancy")
subforum: Child-Led Weaning



I'm sure I will get used to it though.

Quote:
Actually, i am quite upset. I personally have not chosen to have child led weaning, but have chosen gentle and respectful mother led weaning, as have many mothers here. It makes me feel very bad, as if there is no place here anymore for what i and others have chosen. I mean, i knew that the general attitude was shifting towards disdain for those who would not do CLW, but i had no idea i might be completely ostracized. Where are people like myself supposed to go now?
Do you still feel this way after the explanation? Because I think it was just as hard on people who passionately believe in CLW and have MDC as their *ONLY* support to have to encounter weaning threads constantly, especially those aimed at infants and young toddlers. KWIM?

 

 

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#9 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 05:57 PM
 
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Ditto that Tired! The combining of Getting Started... and Extended BF does seem to exclude moms who will extended nurse and yet control weaning.

I am glad to see a CLW sub-forum! I don't care much for continual questions on how to wean.
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#10 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 06:00 PM
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Well, all I can say is that the intention is not to exclude or shun anyone. So let's try to shake that feeling and give it a chance. Okay?

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#11 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 06:03 PM
 
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Sure thing Cynthia!
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#12 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 07:31 PM
 
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I think it's a very positive change! ATM, I'm finding the variety of posts in Breastfeeding a bit overwhelming, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I imagine I'll respond to a lot of posts about younger babes that I wouldn't even have come across because I mostly stuck to the EBF forum.

I think it will be a good thing that the CLW mamas won't have to deal with the 'how do I wean my 17 month old" threads anymore, and those who are asking about weaning will be less likely to get offended by al responses suggesting delaying weaning. I wonder how much activity the forum will have though, if only posts strictly regarding CLW are allowed.

I've never been sure if I belong to the CLW group myself. My older son did wean himself, but it was pretty young; he only nursed 4 or 5 times past his 2nd b-day. I nightweaned my younger son when I could no longer stand him being latched on most of the night. I definitely feel the CLW is the ideal, and I have no cut-off age for nursing. However, I also feel that gentle mother led weaning past 2 years or so is sometimes the best option for some nursing couples. I intend to let my children wean naturally, but am willing to help them along if at some point I can't take it anymore.

That last paragraph probably belongs in the other forum, doesn't it?

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#13 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 09:03 PM
 
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I think it's awesome..
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#14 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 10:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher
Lydia, I honestly do not understand why you feel there is a disdain or ostracizing occurring here. .
I will do my best to overcome these feelings of mine. However, i cannot tell you how many threads i have encountered others' actual anger at the idea that one would want to wean a two year old, and frustration when some mamas here ask what might be a good way to go about it. It has even been suggested to me personally that the bf'ing forums might not be a good place for me to hang out
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#15 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 11:42 PM
 
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I really don't like it. I've been looking through and I just think the Breastfeeding forum will be too big. Why can't we have 4 fora - Getting Started, Extended (or whatever) Nursing, CLW, and Support?

I am very afraid that by catering to the needs of the CLW crowd (of which I count myself one) for support, we are going to be doing a disservice to the many, many mamas who come here for honest-to-God HELP to keep going, whose posts are going to get lost in the shuffle.

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#16 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 11:48 PM
 
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I like it...but one question...can the "overcoming difficulties" subforum please be put back? Even as a sub forum? After 13 months of nursing with failure to thrive, reflux, extreme low supply, and a lactaid, I can honestly say that the overcoming difficulties forum is MUCH needed. Many women who experience such difficulties need a place to be able to express those without hearing "any woman can breastfeed if they try"...yeah, I did try...and I spent thousands of dollars to nurse (and we're still spending that money to nurse)...it's a special situation (much like child led weaning) that requires the support of those in the same boat. I've often found people who have to supplement with formula to be less than accepted here simply because someone who has a relatively easy time nursing just can't understand the hurt, shame, anger, frustration, and determination that goes along with overcoming extreme nursing difficulties. That, and a special subforum makes it easier to see women who may need support right away...I for one know how important it is to receive support at the crucial moment when you're deciding to go on or throw in the towel...

Thank you... :

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#17 of 37 Old 01-02-2005, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree Ally. It needs it's own forum.
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#18 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:00 AM
 
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Thanks mama! For what it's worth...without the overcoming difficulties forum, I would have probably stopped nursing at 2 months when the doctors all told me to give up and give Brandon bottles instead. I really would like to see the forum there if I need it for baby #2...

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#19 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:05 AM
 
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Sorry to post instead of editing...but just to clarify, one of the reasons I do my best to help out in the Getting Started forum is because of the hellacious time ds and I went through in the early months. Without the Getting Started forum, I don't know if we would have made it.

And I do think it makes a difference for mamas struggling to nurse AT ALL to be surrounded by threads by mamas who haven't had these types of problems...if nothing else, when you're beyond sleep deprived from trying to nurse and pump and supplement (truly, the worst of both worlds), and you need help and support and need it fast, having a smaller, more manageable forum where you can get attention, search fairly easily and quickly, etc. makes a big difference.

Just wanted to add this because I've been on both sides here - both as the desperate new mother struggling to breastfeed and as the more experienced mother trying to help others.

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#20 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:15 AM
 
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I agree that the Getting Started forum should be returned to MDC.
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#21 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:19 AM
 
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I agree as well with putting the "getting started/overcoming difficulties" back. I can imagine many mamas continue to nurse with the immediate support found in just the title of the subforum...overcoming difficulties, like you are not alone and that having some difficulty breastfeeding is not unusual and anyone can overcome them with support. I agree posts will get lost and the instant effect of support will not be there for those who aren't experienced in finding it online.

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#22 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I do think though, that the forum title should stay just "Breastfeeding." I was just excited already about that name change. :LOL I think it's nice we got the "extended" part out since we're not extending anything. You know, everyone's always felt a bit confused about where the just, plain breastfeeding forum was anyway. I say, put Getting Started & Overcoming Difficulties back and leave this one here as is. Afterall, we're just breastfeeding.
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#23 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:26 AM
 
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I wish the Getting Started and Overcoming Difficulties section was still here. When I was a new mother having a terrible time with nursing and struggling to make it through every hour, I could not bring myself to read posts by women who were talking about nursing their three year olds. It made me feel extremely anxious and worry that I would fail my baby. I DID feel comfortable going to a place that was clearly designed to provide help for new nursing mothers, though. I think it's sad that it isn't here anymore.
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#24 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:30 AM
 
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I'm just waiting for the board that starts with an "S".
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#25 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee
I'm just waiting for the board that starts with an "S".
I'm lost...LOL!

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#26 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm too. Is it a three letter word Meowee? Should we make guesses? :LOL


*ETA: OK, I get it now. It's a four letter word that is *not* bad. That's not really a bfing issue though. While I want that forum too, I don't know if it would really be helpful at all to discuss it here, kwim?
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#27 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quirky
And I do think it makes a difference for mamas struggling to nurse AT ALL to be surrounded by threads by mamas who haven't had these types of problems...if nothing else, when you're beyond sleep deprived from trying to nurse and pump and supplement (truly, the worst of both worlds), and you need help and support and need it fast, having a smaller, more manageable forum where you can get attention, search fairly easily and quickly, etc. makes a big difference.
Oh man, I can remember these days.... Nursing the baby every hour, and then pumping after every feed with a hospital grade pump....all day 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... And then add the lactaid or SNS on top of that...then you have full-time nursing, full-time pumping, AND full-time formula/supplement feeding/preparing/cleaning.... Noone can say nursing was convenient for us, eh? :LOL

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#28 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
I'm too. Is it a three letter word Meowee? Should we make guesses? :LOL


*ETA: OK, I get it now. It's a four letter word that is *not* bad. That's not really a bfing issue though. While I want that forum too, I don't know if it would really be helpful at all to discuss it here, kwim?
LMAO...I was thinking the 3 letter version too... :LOL But, I think I got what she means now... It's late, and I have PG brain, so it was a little slow coming... Hahaha

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#29 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:50 AM
 
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I am nursing a 2.5 year old and we are in the process of weaning - something we might be working on for a few years. I am also pregnant with my third. I found a home in Extended Breastfeeding because the other women were mostly in my situation - long time nursers with toddler geared questions. I must admit that after nursing for 4.5 years, I enjoyed that the women posting were not lamenting about the pains in early breastfeeding. I don't know that I'll drop by as much knowing that most of the posts will likely be those of a different type of mom - a mom new to breastfeeding. Maybe I'm being harsh but there's not enough time in my day to help everyone and I found solace in my own tribe. I want to bring EBF back.
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#30 of 37 Old 01-03-2005, 12:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyRae
LMAO...I was thinking the 3 letter version too... :LOL But, I think I got what she means now... It's late, and I have PG brain, so it was a little slow coming... Hahaha
I still don't get it! What is it???
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