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#1 of 11 Old 04-23-2005, 05:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all your support. It means so much to me because the women around me don't understand breastfeeding. I told my mom to schedule any photos with me as early as possible and then I'll head for the reception hotel and have a nice long nursing -- even if I'm too late to be presented. The focus isn't on me, anyway.
Unfortunately, my mom just told me the rehearsal dinner the night before is going to be later than expected. I had planned to take the family. She suggested dh stay home w/ the 10 mth old baby and the three-year-old. I would be picked up at 5:40 and return home hopefully around 9:30-9:45. I said the baby wouldn't go to sleep w/o nursing, usually around 7. My mom said "well, we told you you should have gotten her to take a bottle. She won't starve." I somehow bit my tongue until I hung up the phone, except to point out that in the past no babies had bottles (she said life is different now). Dh told me to skip the dinner. I'm thinking about racing home after the rehearsal at 6-7 pm and nursing her to sleep (or have them meet me at the church) and then heading to the dinner, because I will never hear the end of it if I don't go and I can't possibly go to the dinner knowing she's crying hysterically for me for hours.
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#2 of 11 Old 04-23-2005, 06:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kate'smommy
(she said life is different now).
yeah, life IS different now- in the past, mothers were never expected to leave their nurslings alone at home to attend family gatherings! :

i think you should do what you want to do and tell your mother you don't want to hear another word about it.
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#3 of 11 Old 04-23-2005, 08:23 PM
 
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Is your mother aware that weddings are related to marriages and to family, and that a married couple is not generally broken up to celebrate such affairs? It's not the junior farking prom!

I think I would consider showing up, husband and children in tow, staying as long as everyone could enjoy themselves ( <-- note: a highly variable length of time) and then leaving.
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#4 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 12:37 PM
 
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UGH! Family! Sounds like you may have to do the rushing thing. It sucks that people can be soooo very ignorant about breastfeeding and the mother+baby bond. I know that there is no way that I could relax if I knew my baby was suffering, and yet family can exert such pressure on us that it is like being a child again ourselves. I guess you have to summon up all your motherly instincts to protect your baby and eventually just tell your family that this is your child and you've chosen to raise her the way you feel is best, and they'll all just have to get used to that. But maybe it is better to wait until the wedding chaos passes and just do your own thing quietly until then. Let me reiterate "UGH, Family!"

 
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#5 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 01:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleu
Is your mother aware that weddings are related to marriages and to family, and that a married couple is not generally broken up to celebrate such affairs? It's not the junior farking prom!
:

WHY don't people see that!!??
What has life become about?
(Sorry- no offense to your family...)

Michelle, vegan mama to my two sweeties, L, 4/21/04 and C, 10/29/06 married to my Bryce for 20 years.

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#6 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 02:12 PM
 
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I just wanted to offer a suggestion besides the same support other mamas here have given. Is it at all possible for dh to bring the children out and meet you at the restaurant so you could nurse baby in car and have her go to sleep on the way home?
I have thought this one over in the past when i was nursing a baby and my friends had weddings and i thought about how easily the nursing relationship is disregarded. I COMPLETELY agree that marriage is about family and if people respected the importance of a nursing baby/child in the family they would help to keep it comfortable.
I dont know your relationship with your mom or others but want to add that this could be the time for you to assert your momhood and adulthood by calmly and confidantly telling them all where you stand while being as respectful and diplomatic as possible to the wedding.
When you say if you dont attend the dinner you wont ever hear the end of it, well... What if you explain politely and with resolve that you will do as you need to do and that it WILL BE THE END OF IT. ??? I mean really, gosh like Im sure everyone will just be so upset that you arent there they may not enjoy their food or something
~L
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#7 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 02:28 PM
 
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Ugh! Complicated wedding crap. It really takes the fun out of the celebration doesn't it? I have a wedding to attend in a few months and I decided to leave the kids at home with my dh. Then I find out kids aren't invited at all. My son still nurses occasionally, he's 27 mos. I'm annoyed at all the "drama" that is going on with this wedding.
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#8 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 02:53 PM
 
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Sorry, I just caught this thread, so I might be missing something- But is there any reason you couldn't just toss the babe in a sling (assuming that you use one, of course) and just carrying on as if its no big deal? That way you're there, babe gets to nurse and go to sleep on time. Plus, you then have a really good reason to slip out if need be.

I guess I'm just not a very accomadating person, b/c I probably would have told the family to piss off, and sit right in the middle of the rehearsal dinner and nurse my babe. But that's just me. Hope things work out the best for you.

Trish~mama to Kaelie 5/03 and Amelia 12/13, surro mama to Aidan 2/08 & Ellyss 6/09, 

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#9 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 06:05 PM
 
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is there any way you could back out? It sounds like it's all about the bride(which it should be) and they're not comfortable making accomodations that you need. On the day of the rehearsal and wedding, my guess is there will be some sort of blow out- if you bow out now, people might be pissed, but at least the wedding won't be 'ruined' (in the eyes of your sis and mom).

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#10 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 06:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lauraess
I just wanted to offer a suggestion besides the same support other mamas here have given. Is it at all possible for dh to bring the children out and meet you at the restaurant so you could nurse baby in car and have her go to sleep on the way home?
I agree. I've done something similiar to this before, and it worked fine, esp if I also cut out early at the end. Good luck, and to you for being such a great mama.
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#11 of 11 Old 04-24-2005, 08:12 PM
 
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Me, too, about Lauraess's suggestion. That is very practical. You could take turns with your DH.
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