Leaving 7 month old dd for a weekend- How much milk do I need? - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-24-2005, 12:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ETA: I am going to rethink leaving her vs taking her on the trip but would like to know how much they really eat just out of curiosity. Thanks!


Hi everyone. I am hoping you can help me. My Dh and I are taking our first ever minivacation next weekend and without kids. MIL has just now offered to watch both kids so I am frantically trying to work out how much ebm I will need to leave with her for my 7 1/2 month old dd.

We will leave friday night and be home Sun night. So basically enough for 48 hours. I dont know how much she actually eats when she nurses and she doesnt get cups or bottles regularly enough for me to know how much she takes at a time. She takes them well when we give them to her but really we just dont normally have a reason to give her any. She eats solids well and is very active. She only nurses for very short periods of time when she does nurse.

I have really got to do some major pumping this week. I dont have nearly enough ready. Advice on getting some good results from pumping would be greatly appreciated. I pumped 2x this afternoon and got about 4 oz the first time and only 2 oz the 2nd time. I am worried that I wont have enough.

I really hope someone can give me an idea of how much I will need to leave with her. We will only be 4 hours away so could get back if absolutely needed but I want to avoid that if at all possible. I can leave some formula just in case but I really want to try to have enough ebm.
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Old 04-24-2005, 12:11 AM
 
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hmmmm

I don't know that a week is enough time to pump that much in addition to feeding her. Is there any way you can do your trip a little later?
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Old 04-24-2005, 12:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That's what Im worried about. We can take her with us. We had planned on taking both kids but MIL offered last night and called again today to say she took of work to watch them. It would just be really nice. Dh and I have never even had a honeymoon so a weekend without kids would be wonderful. I was trying to get an idea of how much it would take to see if it would even be feasible and for future reference. I do have some already but not much. Probably about 24 oz. She has never had formula so I dont even really think that would be an option either, unless I started giving her a little now but I am pretty sure we would rather take her with us.
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Old 04-24-2005, 01:00 AM
 
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If it were me I would take her with me. I could not imagine leaving a 7 month old for a weekend, even with a trusted family member. My dh will be my husband for the rest of my life. As much as I think of how mice a weekend with just the two of us would be, there will be plenty of opportunities for intimate weekends with him once my baby isn't so little and needs me so much.
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Old 04-24-2005, 01:10 AM
 
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sorry, but i agree with trishshack.

Bring back the old MDC
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Old 04-24-2005, 01:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I completely know what you mean and I have greatly debated that. DH, MIL and I had a long talk about it last night and again today. DD1 was never left for a weekend until she was 3. However, I do trust my MIL completely and DD loves her also. She spent one night with her as a newborn with no problems whatsoever. I am not too concerned on that end. I will still be nervous of course. I would be close enough I could get home if she needed me for some reason. But I do need to know how much milk she would need to see if it is realistic to pump that amount. It may not be and that is fine. We will still enjoy ourselves with her.This has just sort of popped up as an unexpected gift and I would like to take advantage of it. We dont have anyone else anywhere close that we would trust and MIL is always working. I wouldnt leave my dd without enough to eat or in a situation I felt she would be upset with. That said, it probably doesnt matter anyways because I doubt I will be able to pump enough . I am curious to know how much an infant this size actually eats though. Both of mine have been 100% BF and have never really had much ebm
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Old 04-24-2005, 01:39 AM
 
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From the sound of your post you haven't left your dd very much (if at all) before now. Imagine what a dramatic (and scary) change an entire weekend without her mama would be. I can't imagine leaving such a young babe for so long. Could you instead take an afternoon to catch lunch and a stroll in the park for just you and dh? That way your dd isn't without her mama for too long, and you don't need to worry whether or not you have enough ebm pumped for her.

HTH
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Old 04-24-2005, 01:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nevermind, I definately have to rethink this. Thanks for everyone's input.
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Old 04-24-2005, 02:07 AM
 
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From the sound of your posts, you really want to go. If you decide to, I would add quite a bit to whatever you decide she needs as your MIL will probably thaw some she ends up throwing away. I don't pump very often, but when I do, I get about 5 oz per breast if I pump out what would have been a regular feeding. I hear a baby gets more than the pump, so if I add an oz th that it'd be 6oz He eats at 7:30 to go to bed, 12:30, 2:30, 5:00 & 7:00 then we get up. He eats twice before I eat lunch, once or twice before dinner. Thats about 9 times by 6oz and I'd add at least one extra "serving" for any mistake... so for my DS for 2 full days I'd leave at least 120 oz.

That sounds like a lot!!! Like I said, I'm not a regular pumper, so that's just how I would guess. Good Luck!
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Old 04-24-2005, 02:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Amanda! Wow, that would be a lot! It wouldnt matter anyways if that's the case. No way I could pump that much LOL. Makynzi sleeps through the night. She eats in the morning when she gets up, once in the morning, once in the afternoon, once in the evening, and at bedtime. She usually eats 2 solid meals a day also.I guess that would be 5 feedings, so lets say 6 * 6 ounces would be 36 for a day, so 72 ounces for a weekend? I dont have any clue if that is right either. I have 6 days left to pump so that would mean I need to pump 12 ounces a day. That might be doable. This is way too complicated for me. I am going to see if I can google to find anything. I would really like to go but I wont if I dont feel 100% positive she will be ok. After reading the posts here I really have to do some more thinking on taking her or leaving her. I dont know I cant sleep now because I am worrying so I am rambling. Thanks everyone
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Old 04-24-2005, 11:40 AM
 
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Just wanted to let you know about our experience with this. My mother and aunt live in the same house, and together they've been my son's only caregivers besides dh and me. (They're great with him, and are completely willing to follow my attachment parenting style, even though it's not how they were raised.) When ds was 18 months old or so, they'd been watching him for over a year on a very regular basis (I work 19 hours a week, and they'd also watched him for date nights for us). They even watced him for an extended length of time when we saw the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which lasted all day and into the evening. By the time we got back to get him, he'd already gone to sleep for the night. Since he was so used to them and their home, seemed so comfortable and happy there, and was able to fall asleep for the night, they offered to give us our first overnight date for our anniversary. We spent the night at the coast.

What's important to note, however, is that it didn't work out well at all. He did fine while awake, he did fine going to sleep (cosleeping with my Aunt Leslie in her bed, where he was used to napping), but when he woke up, he was traumatized. When he was asleep, he'd forgotten all about being at their house. He'd never woken up in the middle of the night anywhere but with me, and this time I wasn't there! He cried and cried, for over an hour, more than once during the course of the night.

When we got back the next day, he was taking an early nap (probably because of all the sleep he'd lost that night, poor little guy). When he woke up to seeing me, he didn't react how I expected at all (I thought I'd see happiness and big smiles). Upon seeing me, he burst into tears, and he literally cried for an hour in my arms. He wouldn't even nurse at first. He finally did nurse, then, and he nursed for a long, long time. For weeks afterward, he alternated between being very clingy and pushing me away. I think he honestly must have thought I was gone forever. It certainly gave me a taste of how hard it would be for him and his caregivers if anything did happen to me.

Anyway, I completely know how you feel about wanting a vacation just the two of you--you can feel just desperate for some alone time. But I agree with the other posters that this time can wait until our little ones are really ready. DH just got a really good job (we've been struggling college students for years), and the first (well, almost the first) thought that entered my head was, hey, we can finally afford to spend a night at that hotel we honeymooned at! But then, of course, I realized that my dd is only 7 months old now, and way, way too young to be away from me, even on our anniversary 3 months from now. I figure, when I'm really confident that they're both ready (probably when my youngest is 2 or 3), we can try it, but we'll do a practice run first. We'll do an overnight at HOME, so if a little one gets upset during the night, we can just drive over and pick him/her up. I wouldn't want to have to drive all the way home from the coast in the middle of the night, but honestly, I think that's what we should have done last time (if we'd known what was going on). It would have spared him some trauma.

I know you said your little one sleeps through the night, but there's no way to know if that will be the case in an unfamiliar environment. Anyway, I hope this helps you with your decision, and that you and your kids have a wonderful weekend, whatever you decide.

Mother of three and strong advocate of being KIND to each other. (No one is going to learn how to be a better mother by your telling her she makes you want to throw up.)
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Old 04-24-2005, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I found the information I was looking for on Kellymom if anyone is interested. Thanks for the replies.
How much expressed milk will my baby need?
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Old 04-24-2005, 12:15 PM
 
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I'm sorry if I was rude not to offer an answer to your original question : , and I'm glad you found the info you were looking for (Kellymom is great, and I'm glad to be reminded it's there). I don't even find the time to post on mothering very often at all. But when I saw your post, I remembered my experience with Ethan, felt bad all over again for his experience, and thought it would be important information for you to have when making your decision, since I certainly never anticipated that a seemingly secure child in a familiar environment would react like that. I hope you're not offended, and I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your family.

Mother of three and strong advocate of being KIND to each other. (No one is going to learn how to be a better mother by your telling her she makes you want to throw up.)
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Old 04-24-2005, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh no, you werent rude. I just thought I would post the info because I finally found it. I appreciate all views, although I have to admit I felt attacked a bit last night but that is because I am worried myself. I do appreciate you sharing your experience.I still havent formed my final opinion although I am furiously working on pumping enough milk. I am leaning towards going but maybe waiting until Saturday morning to leave so she will only have to go through one night without me. Thanks
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Old 04-24-2005, 03:49 PM
 
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I thought the OP WAS asking for advice on how much milk to leave, not judgments about her mothering. Surprised that a moderator of all people would do that.
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Old 04-24-2005, 04:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks SmilingChick. I was upset over it last night but today I am not. I know that I do everything with my childrens best interests at heart. I have pm'd a mod and asked them to close this thread because I am not up to any more debate and have found the information I need.
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