Is/was your partner supportive? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Was s/he?
Yes, very 119 100.00%
Yes, but limited (at a certain age or in certain places) 15 100.00%
Tolerated but not supportive 2 50.00%
Tried to make you stop or otherwise inhibit you 0 0%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 07:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hmmm

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#2 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 08:04 PM
 
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I checked Yes, limited, because my dh didn't care all that much if I bf or not, he was just concerned about how much money it would be if I chose not to. : He doesn't care about me NIP, although I'm not sure if he will feel differently once ds gets older. He doesn't seem to care about my desire to do CLW so I guess that's a plus.

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#3 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 08:31 PM
 
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Yep, sure is. Of course all the money we've saved by me BFing DS (especially with his dairy and soy sensitivities) is an added plus. DH doesn't care where we nurse or when we nurse, it's all fine by him. (well, except when the kid's "OMG mommy & da are trying get some nookie" radar goes off and he wakes to nurse at an inconvenient moment, but that's no biggie.) He was a little surprised when he found out that I plan to nurse DS for several years but that was mainly because he had never heard of it before. He's onboard with the idea, it was just new to him because we don't have and friends, family, acquaintances or coworkers that breastfed.

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#4 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 08:52 PM
 
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Yes, very supportive so far. Of course, my son is only six months old. I'm still trying to get my husband used to the idea of toddler nursing/CLW. He thinks it's a little strange, but he has never know anyone who has nursed for that long. I know he'll come around.
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#5 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 08:59 PM
 
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my dh is supportive of clw. of course, he saw my then-5yo cousin nursing when DD was born 2 years ago, so he got the impression that this is normal in my family (it isn't really, but that's not important). he basically supports whatever it is i want to do... if we have a rough day and i'm ready to cut dd off completely, he'll offer supportive words without agreeing that she needs to be done.
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#6 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 09:29 PM
 
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When I informed dh (on multiple occasions) that I intended to let ds self-wean, he was all insistant that after age 2 we should push weaning. I think he's seeing the light now wrt nursing a toddler...nothing tames those tantrums faster!! :LOL
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#7 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 09:43 PM
 
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I voted Tolerated but not supportive.

DP has never really had any opinions on breastfeeding, negative or positive. Though he does believe that DS is so healthy party do to breastfeeding, so yeah, he can be supportive. Other than that he doesn’t care much one way or the other.

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#8 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 10:08 PM
 
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Yes, although he used to try to cover me up in public, he now has given up on the project. :LOL

But I think partner support is the "make it or break it" issue for many moms.

He was pretty freaked out by the idea of nursing a toddler, but the LLL ladies all seem "normal" to him, so I don't forsee that becoming an issue for us. He just needed to be exposed to "regular folks" who nurse that long.
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#9 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 11:01 PM
 
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My husband has become a huge advocate for breastfeeding and has been very supportive of me breastfeeding all four of our children, including the child we adopted. In fact he has gone to bat away from me in work and public settings about breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public. He once argued with a good friend of his that NIP was no different than bottle feeding in public and that no one would think sitting on a toilet in a public restroom eating a sandwhich would be clean or even ideal. When an article ran about me breastfeeding our adopted son, with a picture in color of him nursing, he openly acknowledged that it was his wife doing that when people were gossiping how gross and unnatural that was in the teachers lounge the day it hit the stands. He has also told people to get over it when we were at parties and saw me nursing a baby older six months and them making jokes about it.

His mother, who did not nurse her children, is shocked how big an advocate he is for breastfeeding!
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#10 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 11:11 PM
 
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I don't think there's anything else one can choose but 'yes, very' when said partner has now been supportive of nearly five years of nursing, tandem nursing, pumping w/ dd...

He's also made sure that his family knows that it's not a topic for debate.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#11 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 11:12 PM
 
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DH is very supportive of my choice to BF and extended BFing. He believes in the letting DD self-wean as well. He was not breastfed, my MIL just kept asking me questions, not different questions but the SAME questions , ugh. She said it was not in vogue to breastfed when she had children that only poor people breastfed : Not that her opinion mattered

But to get back on topic...DH is very supportive
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#12 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 11:15 PM
 
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When I get discouraged, I think about weaning. I told Mike the other day that sometimes I really really want to wean BeanBean. He said, "I know, honey. Thank you for not doing it."

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#13 of 47 Old 07-01-2005, 11:51 PM
 
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I checked tolerated but not supportive because my dh doesn't really care. He's happy we are saving money by not buying formula and it's easier for both of us because the boob is always there, doesn't cost us anything, no cleaning, no mixing, etc. Always the perfect temp, always the perfect food, no clean-up!(except when we spray!). He was sorta uncomfortable with nip in the beginning and was a little taken aback when I just whipped it out in Wal-Mart with no regard to other people., But he just looked shocked and let it go and since then there's been no discussion. I don't think he was upset, just taken aback. But also he's not at all supportive of clw. He is VERY uncomfortable with that idea. I think basically he thinks bf'ing is okay up until they get teeth and then you should wean. I've made it abundantly clear that I wont' do that and he's said nothing. I think he'll really push for weaning when dd starts walking and talking. He's one of those, "if they can ask for it, they are too old" sort of people. I'm sure he'll just get over it just like he got over me nip!
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#14 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 12:01 AM
 
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DP is very supportive. He's a little shy about my NIP with our 2 yo and tries to cover me up but he thinks all babies should be bfed. He was formula fed and was completely unfamiliar with bfing but has become quite the lactivist. Every thing good about our dd has something to do with bfing. It's cute.

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#15 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 12:04 AM
 
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my dh is very supportive, he makes me all sorts of yummy meals because he says I'll feed the baby well that way
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#16 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 12:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommytol&a
my dh is very supportive, he makes me all sorts of yummy meals because he says I'll feed the baby well that way
Awww, that's so sweet!

DH is super supportive of BF. In the beginning, he acted like he might be a little uncomfortable with us going past 18 mo. but dd will be 18 mo. tomorrow and just the other day he remarked on how sweet she looked when she was nursing so I am pretty sure he has come around.

Jenny, proud maker of red things
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#17 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 12:15 AM
 
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yes, he is very supportive

 DD1 (8yrs) + DD2 (6yrs) + DS1 (4/25/11) = one crazy adventure!
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#18 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 12:43 AM
 
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I went with the second option. Dh doesn't really care, he views it as my body and my decision. I only nursed dd briefly, but he knows this time I want to nurse for at least two years, which he seemed fine with. Until he made some comment about if it's a boy, not wanting him to nurse till he's three. I got angry at first and said, "Well it's a good thing it's not your decision" but after I calmed down we talked and he realizes he's just be sexist.
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#19 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 12:53 AM
 
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Very supportive! When we first started dating (at 18), he was already talking about his desire for his wife to BF. I hadn't really given it any thought at that time. 10 years later, though, I realized just how wonderful it was to have his support. He read all my BFing books while I was pregnant. I ended up with an emergency C-section under general (no time for anything else). While they were waiting for me to come to, DH and our doula kept the hospital from supplementing. He and the doula talked about how he can help me, how to make sure positioning was correct, etc. He was my biggest advocate and loudest cheerleader as I struggled in those early weeks. We had a lot of difficulties getting it right and I often wanted to throw in the towel from desperation. But he kept me going, made the calls to get me help, etc. He's currently in Iraq but still does his best to be my supporter & cheerleader for BF.
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#20 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 01:03 AM
 
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He has been unbelievably supportive.

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#21 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 01:08 AM
 
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My dh is awesome If the topic of formula or nursing come up he turns into quite the lactivist.

Recently we were at a HS graduation. DD was getting cranky and really wanted to nurse. I was was a tad bit unsure about nursing her in my seat because it was very cramped. I had a bunch of male relatives seated behind me. (I have always nip'd without abandon btw). I give dh an unsure look. He looks back at me that said "just nurse her, who cares". That was all the support I needed to nurse her confidently. Of course, my sister who was seated next to me scowled and said "Not right here!". She's easy to ignore though :LOL
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#22 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 03:15 AM
 
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My dh said There is nothing more beautiful than seeing his children being nurished by their mommy. That makes a breast beautiful.
I think a pregnant woman is right up there though!
He so totally freaking rocks!

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#23 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 10:08 PM
 
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Mine is totally supportive. I swear the man takes anything I say about childbearing/childrearing as gospel, you've got to love that! Before we started having children he had no opinion on anything baby related whatsoever. And since we have had the kids and I have shared with him the benefits of breastfeeding, or should I say the risks of not breastfeeding he is 100% supportive of it and confused and appalled by people who don't do it. I don't know if he thinks it is beautiful or anything like that, he has never expressed it to me in those terms, he just sees it as natural and right. And that chosing not to do it is un-natural and wrong and neglectful. LOL he's so cute

Same with homebirth and midwifery. He is so sold on it he is deeply against going to the hospital unless there are medical problems that can't be taken care of at home.
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#24 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 10:29 PM
 
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Yep.. I brainwashed DS when I was pregnant - left articles for him, read him scary statistics about the risks of formula, and talked about BFing a ton. I was BF - all of my sibs were too, and that in the days when few BF (mom was given pills to dry up her milk but caused a ruckus by not taking them - go mom!). DH was FF from day 1, never had any liquid gold.

I think what really affected him though was seeing the joy and satisfaction that DS had when he anticipated nursing. To this day he gets this hysterical laugh when we ask him if he wants num nums. Seeing how healthy and happy he is, DH really encourages me to EN ... even though his mom is still questionable on the whole BFing thing!
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#25 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 10:33 PM
 
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dh is suportive up to a certain age which keeps changing :LOL first it wa s 'you have to wean at 1 but now its not older than 2. DD is only 4m1ths so we'll see

mum to Christopher (6/98) Elizabeth (2/05) twins Aaron and Dominic (7/10/06) and new baby Eden (4-18-09)
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#26 of 47 Old 07-02-2005, 11:03 PM
 
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I voted "yes, very." My dh is all for it up until age four.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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#27 of 47 Old 07-03-2005, 01:03 AM
 
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My dh is very supportive of bf too, which is a good thing, since I've spent a small fortune on herbs, dom, pump rental, etc. to increase my supply. I've never made it past 7 months due to working before, but now that I'm a stay at home mom, I plan to see if I can make it to at least a year (hopefully longer).

Mama of 3 girls: 7.5 , 6 , and 4.5
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#28 of 47 Old 07-03-2005, 03:44 AM
 
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I checked yes, very- he is a lactivist too he takes every opportunity to educate and spread the word.

He does seem to think that children should naturally wean around 2-3 but we're working on that :LOL and so far he's taken my lead in his attitudes about nursing, homebirthing, etc so I think he'll end up being totally fine with CLW.

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#29 of 47 Old 07-03-2005, 11:44 AM
 
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I voted 'yes very', too. My DH is sometimes a bigger lactivist than me! LOL
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#30 of 47 Old 07-04-2005, 08:15 PM
 
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Yes, very.

I think if I had wanted to formula feed he would have had a cow! My MIL nursed 4 of her 5 kids for 2 years (the one she didn't nurse was dh and it was only because he wouldn't latch on and I guess they didn't have pumps back then) so it's very normal for him. He remembers (barely) his little sister nursing when she was already walking (he's 2 and half years older.)

Mama of three.
 
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