SAHM then work?? how do i do it! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-17-2005, 06:47 PM - Thread Starter
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I got a job and i start next monday (the 25) I have never left DD for longer than a couple hours with someone, she is going to be 9 months and right now is going through that stage if my mother leaves me all I do is cry. (seperation anxiety) I will have EBM for her and will be able to go see her and nurse her on my lunch break. She doesn't take a bottle very well, sometimes she will and sometimes she wont.. It just depends on her mood. So we will try the bottle and the sippy cup (she does that well but have never tried it with EBM). I'm just worried that she's not going to do very well adjusting. She's going to my cousins (which is good) who has a daycare and I have tried leaving her there just for her to get used to being there. The first time I was gone for an hour and half and she didn't fuss even once then every other time I have left her there she just is not happy. (I also dont believe in CIO) I think it's going to be harder because she's older and is used to being with me 24/7. Anyone ever done this before?? or Does anyone have any suggestions?? If you could help that would be awesome!!

Thanks in Advance!! =)
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#2 of 3 Old 07-17-2005, 10:20 PM
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Well, as to the breastfeeding side of it, if she'll definitely get milk at lunch she should be ok even if she doesn't drink anything the rest of the day. You'll probably have to make up for it in the evening/night/weekends though. My ds used to nurse for about 3 hours on Saturday mornings!!! Maybe she could drink some water in between times, even if she won't take the milk.

As for the separation, try to make sure that there is one consistent authority figure she associates the daycare (your cousin I guess). I had the same issue with my ds, and he used to scream the whole time I was gone if I left him at home with my dh! I thought he was never going to get used to daycare. But at home, if you leave, for the baby, it feels like Mommy was the person I depend on, and she just left! Anything could happen! But at the daycare, if you are not the person in charge, if you are not the person that everything depends on, then it's ok that you leave. So - you need to get her to perceive that someone else is the Rock of Dependability at daycare, and not you. Then she might be ok. See if you can get the daycare to accommodate this, for example, at the beginning they might make a special effort to have one person stay with her the whole day, instead of switching off like they often do. Later, when she gets used to the space, she can get used to the fact that there are many people who work there.

Good luck!
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#3 of 3 Old 07-17-2005, 10:35 PM
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It's going to be hard, and if you have to work, you just have to know that the adjustment is going to be hard. I went back to work when DD was only 3 months, and it was a terrible adjustment, and that's why I decided to stay home with her. I agree that at 9 months, you should be fine with BF. your DD is old enough to have solid foods if she won't take the bottle. I wouldn't push the bottle if she doesn't want it. After a few weeks of regular bottles, my dd wouldn't nurse. You likely will not get as much sleep as you're used to. Your dd will probably wake up to get the nursings she missed, even if she got fed. My dd was already consistently sleeping 7 hours a night when I went back to work and within 3 days she stopped and has never done it since then. I figured out that she just wanted her time with me and was going to get it when she could. I might not have co-slept for this long had I not gone back to work, so there were some positives.

So it's going to be hard. You will adjust and your dd will adjust, but that doesn't mean that it's easy. You just have to trust that if you're making the right decision for your family it will work out eventually. And if you find it's not working, hopefully you have the flexibility to change something.

Some babies make these transitions remarkably well. My SIL has 2 kids in daycare and they never seemed to go through the difficulties I had.

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