over 40, breastfeeding and TTC - wean? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-26-2005, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm having a hard time trying to decide whether or not to take my OB/Gyn's advice, which is to wean my 20 mo old. I'm 42 and still breastfeeding and he's an avid breastfeeder. I've gotten him down to 3 periods of nursing, wakeup/nap/nighttime, with much encouragement but there are still days that he really wants to nurse more, so I let him. He's teething on his 2 yr molars right now, so it's more difficult to say "No".

I really want to try to conceive again, but haven't yet gotten my period back. Even after the 3rd attempt at nightweaning, both others ended after a febrile seizure or sickness, it's still not back. I'm pushing him to nurse less, which he's doing, but am having a hard time pushing him more. He was nursing about 15-20 x/day for almost 6 months!

I had an easy time getting pregnant twice, the first did end in a miscarriage, but it was after 9/11 and we were living in NYC (much stress).

I would hate to wean if it wasn't necessary, but I feel that time is really running out and I would like to have another child if it's possible.

Any suggestions?

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#2 of 6 Old 08-26-2005, 09:28 PM
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Here's some info from Kellymom that might be helpful:


Many moms can conceive without deliberately changing their toddler's nursing patterns. There is no "magic" threshold of breastfeeding that will allow you to conceive -- every mother is different. Some moms need to stretch out nursing frequency and/or shorten nursing sessions to make it easier to conceive -- babies naturally do this themselves as they get older, so one of your options is simply to wait a bit.

Changes that are more abrupt tend to bring fertility back faster (e.g., cutting out one nursing session abruptly, rather than gradually decreasing nursing time at that session) --even if you continue to breastfeed a great deal-- this is why many mothers experience the return of fertility when their child sleeps through the night or starts solid foods. If you decide to make changes to your nursing pattern, the time of day that you make the change (e.g., cutting out or shortening a nighttime nursing session as opposed to a daytime nursing session) should not make that much of a difference. Current research indicates that nursing frequency and total amount of time at the breast per 24 hours are the most important factors, rather than the time of day that the suckling occurs.

A few moms do find it impossible to conceive while nursing, but this is not at all common.

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#3 of 6 Old 08-27-2005, 10:31 PM
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I had to.

And I did it at 16 months.

I still sometimes feel badly about it, although my dd did not seem to miss nursing for a moment. She never cried or tried to nurse again. I never had to push her away, I just did not offer. She had already nightweaned though and she was never a comfort nurser.

I thought she might show interest again after ds was born but she never did.
I wanted another baby so badly... I guess it worked out because I now have one and dd seems fine.

just my experience. My body seemed to be VERY sensitive to nursing hormones and I did not have af until a month after complete weaning. I hope that's not your case... but it was mine.
Good luck, its a tough choice.
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#4 of 6 Old 08-27-2005, 10:54 PM
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my dd2 is 21 mo and i just yesterday got my first postpartum period. i'm 41 btw. dd2 nurses a lot. i'm actually tandeming. my 4.5 yr old nurses 2 or 3 times a day. dd2 nurses...uh...i dunno...10 or 12? have you seen this thread for 40+ and ttc? http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=243851

in my experience, no i wouldn't wean, but your mileage may vary...


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#5 of 6 Old 08-28-2005, 12:44 AM - Thread Starter
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I'm trying to hold off on complete weaning for now and hoping that I get my AF back.

My ds is a big comfort nurser, so any serious attempts to cut back have been difficult. He is more distracted now and when we're out he rarely wants to nurse, which means that we sometimes go longer without nursing. I'm hoping that this helps. Also he's permanently (I hope) off nursing between 7:30/8-4:30 and I'm trying to stretch that to 8-5.

It's just so hard to know what to do when time is going by and I don't have much time to wait! I'm actually going to try accupuncture to get my body back to it's self, I've been feeling out of whack because of the messed up sleep for these past months. Hopefully that will help me to feel more energetic and may help my fertility. :

Thanks for the advice.
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#6 of 6 Old 07-16-2014, 09:54 AM
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Hi! I just weaned last month and got pregnant the first post wean cycle. We were trying for 7 cycles and I tweaked and even had him down to one feed a day but I am one of those women i guess who can't get pregnant while nursing. I had a very short LP and delayed ovulation which were only slightly helped by vitex and B6 in a B complex. GOod luck!!!
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