Other ways to show that "special" love? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 02-19-2003, 02:30 AM - Thread Starter
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I'm new to this board. My ds is just over 2 and still nursing. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and have noticed a decrease in my milk supply, breast tenderness, and some mental problems with nursing so often. We had been nursing 3 or so times per day, and always whenever he wanted. But since I became pregnant it has become painful, and sometimes I really can't bear the thought of nursing him.

I've been honest with him about why we're sometimes not nursing. (we always try, but sometimes it's a no go). And I explain that mommy is tired, has hurt na-nos, and is hungry because there is a baby inside. He seems to get it, and I haven't noticed him feeling responsible for my breasts hurting.

So now we're down to about 1 good- meaning it doesn't hurt too much and I'm happy to do it, and there seems to be enough milk- nursing a day and when I think it's not going to work I tell him no (nicely, of course). My question is, what are some other ways I can show him that special "mommy" love that don't involve nursing, so I can keep our relationship strong? I really don't want him to feel like he did something wrong or that I love him less.

Thanks, mamas!
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#2 of 8 Old 02-19-2003, 06:33 AM
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do you co-sleep? when my ds2 weaned at 3.5 yrs it was very important to maintain that nighttime closeness, but I can see it might be tricky if breast proximity inspires yr ds to want more
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#3 of 8 Old 02-19-2003, 11:49 AM
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I think just cuddling close for a few minutes in place of that nursing time would be great. It's still his special time of attention and kids love this one on one time. Do a little song or game like "little piggies" with his toes or help him with his fingers in Itsy Bitsy Spider-something that involves touching-and probably giggling with these examples. Or just rub his back or head if he needs to mellow more.
Take care with that growing baby!

Full-time homeschooling mama : of a 15yo "teenager" , 12yo DIVA, 9yo builder, & 4yo treasure.
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#4 of 8 Old 02-19-2003, 12:18 PM
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Moms often feel ths way. If I am no longer nursing, am I still needed? Of course you are! Talking, rocking, singing together. Reading books, or watching shows on TV together, snuggled under covers. Playdoh, painting, legos. Wrestling, tickling games. Turning out all the lights and playing Tigers in the Dark was a game my kids invented! Doing bigger kid things like going to the pet store and looking at the animals and fish. All kinds of field trips--museums, parks, playgroups. He will need your input and guidance on all of this.
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#5 of 8 Old 02-20-2003, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
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Yes, we co-sleep, for which I am so grateful. Today he didn't ask to nurse until bedtime when I got undressed- when he said "OOOh, na-nos!" Then he opened his mouth super wide and held it up at me. Made me feel llike I had my own little groupie! He is so sweet. So we had a nice nursing session and then we talked about nursing. He intimated that he is sad, he wanted to cry, so I rubbed his back while he kind of whined. Then he wanted me to hold him, so I did, and we just stayed like that for awhile. Really nice.

I think lots of snuggling, cuddling type time made available to him will be where I put my efforts. We already spend lots of time together drawing, museums, zoo, park, playing with blocks, balls and outside in the yard.

It's amazing how powerful nursing really is- not just in his world, but in mine too. Such a big adjustment going from whenever they want to only sometimes (even though he wasn't asking for it too often). I'm kind of looking forward to finding new ways to relate to him, and him to me too, I guess.

I want him to know that we're on the same team- that we have the same sadness and that we can get through it together, just like everything so far.
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#6 of 8 Old 02-22-2003, 09:38 PM
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I have gone through pregnancys while still being able to nurse, but did encounter a couple problems. One was decreased milk supply and one was nipple soreness. Those problems were both solved by simply drinking lots of water. At least a gallon a day. At first I thought I was drinking plenty of water, but when I doubled, even tripled the amount, to my surprise not only did my milk supply go back up, but the nipple soreness went away completely. On days when I didn't drink enough, my supply went down quickly (especially toward the end of the pregnancy) and my nipples would get sore again. I know this might sound too simple, but I have talked to many women with the same problem and the water thing has worked for all of us. Hope this helps you. I felt so bad for my toddlers when the milk supply diminshed and also the closeness they felt from breastfeeding, so to me even though drinking so much water was sometimes a pain, and bathroom visits were often, it was worth it in the end. Hope this helps
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#7 of 8 Old 02-22-2003, 10:22 PM
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Oh, my! You are singing my song!

My third . . . and last, is weaned. It has been hard but it was time. Every couple of days he comes in while I am dressing and wants to touch "my nurnies". I let him. He squeals with delight and goes on about his day.

It has been bitter sweet. Cuddling, snuggling is what has gotten ME through. I can't speak for him.
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#8 of 8 Old 02-23-2003, 12:41 PM
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I'm in the same boat....in fact, it's been 3 days now since she asked for "some"....
We've been cuddling a lot more and she likes to pat my face while sucking her thumb, or play with my belly.
It's definately bitter sweet...I'm happy that she's ok with it, and that we can have that special time still...and at the same time there is nothing like nursing to calm a hyper or hurt baby....
It's definately helped me grow too though, in finding other ways to help her.

Being only 1/2 way there, I don't know if she'll ask when the baby comes or not....this morning when we woke up, she patted my boobs and said Baby....the only thing I've said about nums being for baby is I asked if she was going to share nums with the baby....

Sometimes I worry that she sucks her thumb too much now, but she usually only does it when she's tired.

Good luck to you!
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