BFing is a leap of faith and... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 02-22-2003, 05:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm having trouble leaping today....

I've only been at BFing since DD was born Jan 1 but I already (so far?) see it as one heck of a blind leap of faith--faith in my body, faith in my baby's ability to know what she needs, faith in all the good advice available here and elsewhere, faith that nature's way *is* best, and so on and so on.

When all is going well (most of the time), that leap of faith is easy to make... and empowering. And awe-inspiring. And beautiful.

But when a "tough day" crops up, like today, it is just soo hard to stay confident.

DD has been wanting to eat every 45mins to an hr all day... litterally attacking the breast when offered and then fussing and crying after what seems like only one or two swallows (five mins. tops!). Repeat on other side. My breasts have felt limp and "empty" all day and never feel any "less limp". Haven't seen the "drunk sailor" look on her face even once today. "Output" is good... but her poop is spinach colored and not golden/mustardy curds...

Leap of faith: the breast is never empty -- really hard to make in these conditions. Leap of faith: my body *can* do it -- ditto. Leap of faith: my baby knows what she wants and needs -- ditto. Leap of faith: adequate "output" is a good indicator of adequate "intake" -- ditto.

While she's fussing, the "bad thoughts" creep in despite myself--such as: should I send DH to the store to buy a bottle and formula
because she's obviously hungry and not getting enough? (No, I haven't done that... but I really *hate* the fact that I even thought it!!)

She did this once before for a day and the next day she hardly ate anything--but I was sooo sore and engorged... so I do know in my mind that this will pass, that tomorrow things should be better, that it could be any number of things that will solve themselves if I stick to it... that it is too early to worry about her "failing to thrive" -- she's already doubled her birth weight and is bright, active, and interested in the world, one day of poor eating won't change that (leap of faith, there too, and a tough one when I want soo much for her to thrive, be happy, grow, get the best, etc. and when she seems soo tiny, fragile, and still somewhat like a miraculous present that couldn't have possibly be meant for me)....

I *know* all that... but am having trouble *believing* it, if you know what I mean.

Can someone please send me some good "leap of faith" vibes to get me through the night? (A hug would be welcome too!)
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#2 of 11 Old 02-22-2003, 05:41 PM
 
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I don't have any advice except to hang in there. She's obviously been nursing well. It's probably just a bad day. And you'll get tons of support on this board, I'm sure.

Major psychic hugs go out to you.
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#3 of 11 Old 02-22-2003, 07:04 PM
 
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It sounds like she's hitting a growth spurt. Don't give into the 'bad thoughts' that will only make the situation worse in the long run.

You're doing a great job- it's so worth making it through the hard times. My ds took 3 mos to learn to nurse- the first 3 I was finger feeding, pumping and using formula b/c I wasn't pumping enough. He's now 10 1/2 mos old and still nursing strong.

Keep up the good work and tell yourself it IS worth it.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#4 of 11 Old 02-22-2003, 07:10 PM
 
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Here's a and good vibes too! inky You will make it! Just hang in there! Also, the only way I made it thru in the scary first six months was to go to LLL meetings and to have supportive breastfeeding books to read when I was rocking ds. You can also go to Attachment Parenting meetings, if they are in your area. PM me if you need help finding meetings in your area and just know you can do it!!! I know what you are going thru...

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#5 of 11 Old 02-22-2003, 07:18 PM
 
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Sounds like a growth spurt. The poop thing might be from something you ate?

Make sure YOU are drinking enough too, when she nurses like this. It's easy to become dehydrated and have low supply issues during a growth spurt. I often have to drink an additional 16-32 oz of water when ds is going through growth spurts.

Good vibes being sent your way...the first 3 months is the hardest. My ds is almost 11 months now and bfing is such a no-brainer. I stopped bfing with ds1 at 10.5 months and now I REALLY wish I'd kept going, because this is the fun time!

Take care,

Mel
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#6 of 11 Old 02-22-2003, 08:43 PM
 
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Hang in there! It will get easier! It does sound like a growth spurt. Drink TONS of water and maybe try some fenugreek or Mother's Milk Tea. And go easy on yourself for your formula thoughts. No mother wants to see her baby fuss and feel hungry-- it's natural to have your mind leap to whatever might alleviate that. You're doing her such a favor by letting her nurse to bring up your supply! YOU'LL BOTH FEEL BETTER SOON.
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#7 of 11 Old 02-23-2003, 10:38 AM
 
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This sounds like a CLASSIC growth spurt where they nurse constantly before growing.

Plenty of wet diapers? Baby alert when awake, not lethargic? Urine not too dark?

Poops change. Breasts do not always feel full after the newborn period. This has NOTHING to do with supply, the breasts are getting used to nursing. But many women panic at times like this.

Everything I hear from your post sounds like the NORMAL course of breastfeeding, but if your gut tells you other wise, contact La Leche League or a lactation consultant.
(They can help you with that leap of faith thing...)

I know LLL is international, don't know if they have LC's in Paris
http://www.lalecheleague.org
But even one reassuring long distance call to Illinois headquarters would be cheaper than months of formula........

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#8 of 11 Old 02-23-2003, 10:53 AM
 
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I just want to chime in say that it WILL get easier. I had my down days with both dss in the beginning.


QUOTE----------------------------------------------------------------------------
DD has been wanting to eat every 45mins to an hr all day... litterally attacking the breast when offered and then fussing and crying after what seems like only one or two swallows (five mins. tops!). Repeat on other side. My breasts have felt limp and "empty" all day and never feel any "less limp". Haven't seen the "drunk sailor" look on her face even once today. "Output" is good... but her poop is spinach colored and not golden/mustardy curds...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It could be that she is getting frustrated that your milk is not letting down quick enough for her. Ds#2 is an impatient nurser.

Are you staying on one side long enough for her to get the hindmilk? Maybe her poops are greenish because she's getting too much foremilk.

This is all speculation, but these are some reasons I have run into problems.

Take care. It will all be worth it.
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#9 of 11 Old 02-23-2003, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Happy baby's back!! (Which means a happier mom!)

She's still feeding alot more frequently today... but less fussing and I'm feeling better able to do that leap of faith stuff!

You guys must be right--growth spurt (I hope)... alert when awake, lots of pee & poop (poop yellow again and urine clear as water, BTW), etc. Boobs still don't feel "full" but I'm feeling letdowns and seeing milk today ("empty boob" panic gone, but it *is* scary when the "full boob" feeling starts to disappear...).

I've been shy about contacting the LLL people in Paris but perhaps I'll just bite the bullet and get myself to the next meeting (I think it's in a month, from what it says on the Paris LLL website).

Anyway, thanks again for all the support!
(Whatever would I do without MDC? There's not much real support in my immediate surroundings other than DH but he doesn't know much at all about BFing or babies.... we're both on the throw-'em-to-the-wolves-crash-course for new parents--learning by doing. LOL.)

Oh, and anyone know where I could get Mother's Milk Tea (and under what name) here in Paris? (OK, OK, I could just kick my shyness out the door and call one of the two English-speaking LLL volunteers in Paris... but actually calling a stranger is harder than posting a message, IYKWIM.)
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#10 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 07:06 PM
 
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Mother's Milk Tea is made by Traditional Medicinals and has sweet fennel seed, anise seed, coriander seed, spearmint leaf, lemongrass leaf, lemon verbena leaf, althea root, blessed thistle herb, and fenugreek seed. There isn't a website listed on the packaging, but you might try going to a health food store and looking for some of these ingredients in another brand of tea or just get the fenugreek and blessed thistle as supplements by themselves. You might also try a natural living website like www.gaiam.com to see what you can find. HTH
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#11 of 11 Old 02-25-2003, 12:14 PM
 
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I just wanted to chime in because my baby was born the same day. I agree that a growth spurt is the most likely issue. They're going to be 8 weeks on Wednesday, so it was probably the 6 wks growth spurt. I know that we've only had one so far, so I'm expecting another one any time now.

By this time, your baby is used to eating well and having a full stomach. If something really does happen to your milk supply, she won't be just a little fussy and leave you wondering if something is wrong. She'll let you know in no uncertain terms.
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