Want to but don't want to do EBF - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 02-23-2003, 07:06 AM - Thread Starter
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Before my dd was born I always envisioned myself nursing her for a long, long time. Now she's 14 mos old and sometimes it gets to be too much. for me. I love nursing her 95% of the time and I so want her to reap the benefits of nursing a long time. But I have one issue and one question related to this:
When she takes her nap and when she goes to bed at night she nurses while sleeping for about an hour or so. This has been happening, every day for about 6 months now. I'm getting tired of it. I love to sleep in the day but sometimes I want to get things done while she sleeps. At night it's also nice MOST of the time, but sometimes I want to hurry up and get up and do things. I've tried many times to just unlatch her gently but it rarely works...she gets upset and cries and I don't want her to wake up so I stay there. This is not fun for me! I want to be able to choose to get up if I like. Most times I probably would just lay there and sleep with her but sometimes.....
I need some cold hard info on nutrition in breastmilk as they get older. My dd literally probably eats about a tablespoon-ful of food in one day..combined, and that's on a good day. I offer her food several times in the day but she just takes microscopic bites. I'm concerned that she's not getting enough nutrition. Every piece of food that does go in her mouth is always organic, homemade, and nutritious but it's such a small amount. I can't see how she could possibly be getting enough Vit C and iron especially....
any good books, websites, info on this stuff?
Oh, I do really love bfing her! I just need the amount of time spent doing it to be cut down.
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#2 of 6 Old 02-23-2003, 01:48 PM
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I think your ambivalence is normal and typical of moms nursing toddlers. We all get burned out at times.

Have you been to a La Leche League meeting? Does your area have toddler meetings? Have you read any of these books:

How Weaning Happens
Mothering Your Nursing Toddler
Our Babies Ourselves

They all talk about this normal ambivalence.

Is breastmilk still nutritious after the first year, you ask? You may want to check out the thread here about comebacks for Silly People. According to the references at http://www.kellymom.com
human milk is still very nutritious in the second year, containing protein, calcium, brain-building healthy fats resulting in higher IQ's, and many vitamins including folic acid and vitamins A, B12, and C.

I don't know about how much iron a nursing toddler gets from moms' milk; that may be at kellymom.com too. It may depend on many things including whether you get lots of iron in your diet.

DaryLLL posted the info that bf babieswho do not eat solids until 8 months have the best iron levels at one year, or something like that.....maybe she will post/comment.

I've heard over and over at this message board and others and other places, that the babies who resist solids may be instinctively protecting themselves from food allergies.

Everything our culture says, all the Western MYTHS say, babies don't really need our milk after a year, human milk is empty calories that only keep the toddlers from eating "real" food etc. etc...but that's not what science is finding.

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#3 of 6 Old 02-23-2003, 01:54 PM
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Try doing a search here, google, or breastfeeding.com. They all have info on bm nutrition. Since your dd is only 14 mos old she's still a baby. The milk adjusts to each stage of her life and if she hardly eats solids she should be getting adequate nurtition from your milk, especially if your diet is good. Some babies just start solids later in life. You should take it as a compliment that she likes your milk so much .

If you watch her closely while she nurses in her sleep you might notice when she is in a deeper sleep cycle and be able to unlatch her then. I have the same problem with my twins and some days I just have to let them take the lead (frustrating as it is sometimes). On days like that I try to tell myself that all too soon they won't want to nurse at all . HTH
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#4 of 6 Old 02-23-2003, 03:53 PM
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breastfeeding studies only go up to 24 months of age so can't give you any cold hard facts after that age, but during that second year nutrients don't change and turn to water like some people will lead you to beleive.

They are very similar to the first year of life and even though a child may be taking in less breastmilk and more solids the antibodies are more concentrated.

I nursed my dd for over 5 years and she was never sick besides a cold. After weaning she had an ear infection, flu and bad chest cold. So I can tell you from my experience that my dd was protected against illness, even though she was nursing very infrequently at 4 and 5
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#5 of 6 Old 02-24-2003, 04:34 PM
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What wopuld make y ou feel better about nursing. If she owuld nurse at a different time of day? if she wasn't dependant upon it for going to sleep? Staying asleep? If she just didn't need ot fr a whole hour of her sleep time?

You don't nee dto be concerned about how much food your dd is eating. If nursing isn't there she will eat more solids. 14 months is about were both of my girls started eating more solids and less BM. It is also the time I started nightweaning. It is when Igot resentful of being tied in bed with them and wanted my life back a little.

dd would take 4 hour naps until she was way past completely weaned so laying with her for 45 min- an hour was totally worth it. #2 would olny take hour naps so laying with her for that long just pi$$ed me off. After all I invested a whole hour of my life for 5 minutes to myself. Thoughts like that aren't good for anyone. So I decided if she wanted a nap she would have to figure out how to put herself to sleep. Sometimes she did sometimes she didn't.

It is OK to set limits on your toddlers nursing they will probably resist at first but this is a two way relationship. Everyone has to have some comfort or you will just end up resenting nursing. and each other. that just isn't good.

bM is still nutrition and still fills in the gap. Just keep offereing her food and she will take it. Noone resists forever.

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#6 of 6 Old 02-25-2003, 11:23 PM
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My 2yr old DD went through the same thing. If you've read the Sear's books they say to move away gradually after making sure the child is in deep sleep. I fould that the opposite is true with us. There is a definite window of opportunity to get away and it's just as she drifts off to sleep. I had to figure it out by trial and error but the more she got used to being unlatched even if she protested and latched on again the easier it got for me to leave her. Now I unlatch her and lay with her for a few minutes- but not too long- and then get up and leave. If she gets used to me being with her she is more sensitive to my absence. She will now even settle herself down again most of the time. Hang in there, just when you can't take it anymore things always change!
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