did you always *know* you would EBF? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 02-23-2003, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thought i'd ask mamas who've BTDT:

while i was pregnant with ds (now 6mos old) i thought i would BF for at least a couple of years. in he past 6 mos we've been through some major rough patches and am currently taking bfing one day at a time, making no long-term promises, although i definitely love it most of the time and want to continue for as long as possible.

for mamas that are EBFing, did you always know that you would EBF or was it something that just *happened*? i hear stories from mamas that say that their goal was to BF for 3 mos, then they said 6 mos, then a year, and then before they knew it they were happily nursing a 4 year old!

i'm wondering if my *not sure, taking it day by day* philosophy is a commom one, if other mamas have gone through it, too. and also if it means that odds are, i will stick with it 'til my babe is an older toddler.

thanks, mamas!
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#2 of 20 Old 02-23-2003, 04:45 PM
 
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With dd1 I had to go back to work at 7.5 months, and she was fully weaned by 8 months, she was not interested in just am and pm nursings, though I would have liked to go to a year. With dd2, I also wanted to go for a year. I'm now a sahm, and she is 2.5 and told me recently that she will stop having mommy milk when she is as big as dd1, who is now 8.5 yo. She hasn't specified if that means as big as dd1 is now, or when she and dd1 are the same size at the same time. :
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#3 of 20 Old 02-23-2003, 06:19 PM
 
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I had the whole try it and see philosophy like many moms do I think. It just kept working for us and I didnt see a reason to stop. he will be 2 next month and still nursing strong! HE was sick recently and I was very glad he was nursing and so was his doctor.
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#4 of 20 Old 02-23-2003, 06:37 PM
 
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My intention was always to nurse for two years, as that's the WHO recommendation.

My oldest dd is 3.5 years, and still nursing. I'm pregnant, so perhaps she'll wean during this pregnancy (she usually only nurses at night-time), but perhaps not...either is fine.

So...I guess according to Western standards, I always intended to EBF (to go to 2 years). But I just kind of fell into nursing longer than that...
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#5 of 20 Old 02-23-2003, 09:42 PM
 
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DD weaned at 20 mos when I was pg with ds. I had no intentions of going that long when I was pg w/her. The ob asked me at my postpartum check how long I planned on nursing and i said 'as long as I can' - he asked 'what, until she's in college?' and I said- probably 6 mos to a year.

6 mos rolled around and it was so easy I couldn't imagine switching to formula with all the mixing and getting up in the middle of the night. A year rolled around and I had no idea how I would comfort her if she weaned. I got pg when she was 15 mos old and we had no problems nursing. I was trying to decide whether or not to nurse throughout the pregnancy. (Dd was 5 weeks early, I was worried about ds being early also. He was also 5 weeks early too, but obviously not because of nursing.)

She ended up weaning on her own at 20 mos and had no interest in starting up again after ds was here.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#6 of 20 Old 02-23-2003, 11:52 PM
 
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I never said for sure how long I was going to Bf.I new that I wanted to BF Littlebit more than anything,but was so afraid It wouldn't work.So I never said how long I was going to do it.We have been through so much while nursing.He has been sick alot and had a few surgeries and I have had 4 surgeries while BF.We have been in 2 auto accidents.And we have made it through it all.He never had a bottle.He is fixing to be 3 on the 6th and I still don't know when we will stop.All I know is that I love nursing Littlebit and the time we share while nursing.
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#7 of 20 Old 02-23-2003, 11:59 PM
 
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Yup i always knew i would. We went thru a really, really rough time between 3 and 6 mos, and i'm so glad that we didnt quit. Nursing makes life so much easier right now.

DH thinks that we're going to wean at 2 yrs. I'm not quite sure how he arrived at that number, or why he thinks that he gets to make that decision. Realistically, that's only 7 months away and ds nurses as often now as he did as an infant. I dont think we're going to be weaning any time soon .
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#8 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 12:21 PM
 
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As i said before I was not sure how long we would nurse,but I knew we were going to try.I had never really known anyone that had nursed.I still don't know very many in person that BF.WHen Littlebit was one.ME and DH talked about EN and we thought we would go til he was 2.Then 2 got here and we weren't ready to wean yet.So now LIttlebit is fixing to be 3 and we still aren't ready.Me and DH was talking the other day and he said well I guess we will have to set a new goal to reach.Dh said well how about 5.I was so surprised when he said that.He has always been such a big supporter(my 2 older kids are big suppoters too) of my nursing.It feels so good to have people supporting me on my discission to EN.Because so many are so against it.
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#9 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 02:28 PM
 
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b'h

i always knew i'd nurse for at least a year, because my mom did that...and i never thought about farther than that, just take it as it comes...

wasn't too long. dd1 weaned herself at 2.5
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#10 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 02:37 PM
 
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I always thought at least one year. I never knew he would be three and still wanting his "juice." I am ready to quit, but I am having troubles convincing him. We are down to am and pm and and occassional in the middle of the day when I am home, but he hasn't reduced anymore than that.

I am now firmly convinced they really do quit when they are ready
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#11 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 05:17 PM
 
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No never thought I would.

I was only going to nurse my son 3 months because I was going back to work. Everyone told me I wouldn't be able to nurse once I was back at my job as a firefighter on duty for 24 hours.

Thankfully, I attended a LLL meeting very early in my Pregnacy and learned about pumping. So I upped my goal to l year. My son fell short of one year by 1 1/2 months.

I nursed my dd for 5.8 years with my cutoff being 2 or 2 1/2 years. LOL

Things change as you continue to nurse your children
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#12 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 05:25 PM
 
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I bf my ds until he self weaned at about 10 months (I worked outside the home until dd was born). When dd was born, I planned to nurse for a year, but here we are still nursing and dd is 28 months old. I would like to let her self wean and I think that is the plan we have now, but you never know.
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#13 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 06:03 PM
 
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With ds1 I wanted to go to 6 months (the recommendation from AAP then) and went 10.5 months, with him biting me 7+ times a day for the last 4.5 months.

With this ds (almost 11 months old now) I know I'll make it easily to a year, he bites about once a week, and he's allergic to dairy, so...I'm probably in this for the long haul. I wanted to go to 14 months this time (so I'd have nursed a total of 24 months for my OWN benefits, not counting the endless benefits to my dks) but I think we're in this for at least another year or two. Self-weaning, anyone?
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#14 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 06:20 PM
 
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When I got pg, I knew 100% sure that I wanted to b/f, but I never put any thought into how long. Due to my history, I don't think I ever even really concerned what would happen after the birth. Then I just set little goals for us but I think by 3-6 months I was sure I wanted to b/f at least a year, if not 2 Now that I'm at the 2 year mark (almost), I'm not sure but I think we'll be taking it on a month by month basis. I so want to quit sometimes because my dd is very needy. Other times I'll be sad to stop and wish I could have another to b/f again. I think taking it day by day is totally reasonable as b/f moms do that in all stages of b/f.
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#15 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 08:51 PM
 
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While Pregnant, I thought that if I breastfed a year, I would be proud of myself. I knew just a few people that even made it that far in real life. Then, Ds was born and my world has forever changed. To put it very short, I didnt get ds to latch for 2 weeks! I finger fed him and tried not to quit. I then thought I wouldnt even make it a month, so like another poster said, I took it one month at a time. I told myself that after every month i would reevaluate what I was doing and either quit or dedicate myself to another month. WHen I made it to the 6 month mark I cried tears of joy that we had made it that far. Our nursing relationship had been so rocky and we still did it. That's when I reevaluated my goal of 1 year, also I joined LLL and became friends with moms who had NO INTENTION of weaning at 1 year!!!LOL Now, even though my mom is being a little wierd about it, I am now going the self weaning route AND I will meet that 1 year mark on FEBRUARY 28th, MY DS's FIRST BIRTHDAY!!! ( had to shout it out!!!) AND surpass it for sure.
I always thought that he would be so grown up at one year, and its obvious now that he is such a baby, and will continue to be my nursing baby for a long time ahead!!

Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10

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#16 of 20 Old 02-24-2003, 08:54 PM
 
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I am not a mama yet, but I am like you. I always knew that EBF was what I want for my baby. I think that I am extraordinarily lucky to have a lactation consultant for a mama, so I know that I will be able to face any challenges along the way.

I am also so glad to have you wonderful ladies!

Keep going, mama! You are doing great!


Jean

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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#17 of 20 Old 02-25-2003, 12:34 AM
 
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When DS came along all I knewwas that I Would nurse him. I gave absolutely no thought as to for how long. Sometime late in that first year an old friend sent me a copy of Mothering Magazine.

One of the best gifts I've ever been given in my life.

I learned about the WHO recommendation and the concept of childled weaning. I shared what I was learning with DH and decided that as long as there was no legitimate reason to force the issue I'd let DS lead the way. I was a bit surprised when went to 5, but he did slow and stop of his own accord, on his own schedule---not necessarily a conscious schedule however!

With DD I knew from the start that we'd go the same route.

"What will you do once you know?"
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#18 of 20 Old 02-25-2003, 12:56 AM
 
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I never thought of EBF at all....
I just *understood * that babies did not nurse after 1...lol...
Then I educated myself when my ds came along and here we are 33 months later....
Doing it b/c it works and b/c it is easy...and like others have said do not know where I would be w/o it when he is sick...it is the only thing that comforts him....when he is having a bad day...makes him smile.....boo-boos are healed instantly.....
and I am so enjoying the things he says about nursing now...makes your heart melt....
it is well worth it if you can make as long as you can...
as with everything, whatever works for you and your family

Free To Be~
Traci
"Living is learning and when kids are living fully and energetically and happily they are learning a lot, even if we don't always know what it is."
~John Holt 

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#19 of 20 Old 02-25-2003, 12:00 PM
 
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I was a Mama who said "3 months" then "6 months," then I got a copy of Compleat Mother from a friend & felt very empowered. I haven't even thought about it since. DS will be 22 months in a wk. My dm makes comments to him like "you're going to be running home @ lunch from school to bf." She hasn't really been all that supportive from the get go. I'm glad I have friends IRL & other mamas here who are supportive.
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#20 of 20 Old 02-25-2003, 12:38 PM
 
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No! I had a very hard time getting started (undiagnosed thrush, I think) so I told myself, "I'll just get to six weeks." Then when I got to six weeks it was a little easier, so I said "I'll just get to three months." When I got to three months it was a lot easier but I still thought only babies breastfeed so I told myself I'd go to a year. And by the time I got to a year, we were both fully hooked.
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