marchmom--I was JUST about to reply to your post because our situations are so similar! It sounds like you're getting things figured out-we are too. I nursed ds through pregnancy, and towards the end decided to start the weaning process, mainly because he has developed a very lazy latch, and nursing him hurts. I started doing the counting thing sometime in the last trimester, and also limiting to twice and sometimes only once a day. It was going really well. DS would often unlatch himself with his finger when I reached 10 or 20. Then DD arrived early, at 36 weeks, before ds was totally weaned. Then my milk came in, and of course that made ds want to nurse more often. I have been unable to comfortably nurse both at the same time, with DS's lazy latch. I've tried working with him to get him to open wider, but he refuses. I've dealt with a lot of guilt in the two weeks since dd arrived, and shed a few tears, but now I'm clear that I need ds to wean. If he would correct his latch, I would continue to nurse, but it's just not happening, and it's not fair to me to have to be in pain every time he nurses. We're down to bedtime and morningtime nursing sessions now, and I keep them breif--under 2 minutes. He's not always happy about my saying no during the day, but I know he'll be fine. I distract him with activities and sometimes videos (he's a huge Raffi fan), and sometimes resort to bribery with treats (healthier ones from the nat. food store). I cuddle and hold him as much as possible. As dh says, "He still knows you love him."
I hope it continues to go well for you, marchmom! I'll update this post as things progress.
Greenfrogs--thanks for your post. I feel exactly the same way--I am not enjoying it. The nursing part of our relationship isn't working out anymore for me, but that doesn't mean the closeness has to end.