Leaving nursing toddler for the weekend - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-14-2003, 09:57 PM - Thread Starter
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DS just turned 2. He nurses a few times a day - first thing in the morning, before nap, sometimes in the evening, before bed and when/if he wakes at night. On days I work, it is the morning, and once I get home, and sometimes a few times before bed - reconnecting!

DH and I are both attendants in the wedding of very close friends in May - the wedding is in FL. Since we will be involved in so many wedding activities, and being both in the wedding, we decided it really will not work out to take DS. We cannot bring him with us and I think leaving him home for a couple days with Gramma and a close friend is better than leaving him with a sitter in a strange hotel.

He has spent the night at Grammas once already - New Years Eve and did great! Slept wonderful,woke up once and BIL brought him to bed with him and DS slept great the rest of the night. (Not typically an AP kind of guy, so it was pretty cool to hear.)

The plan is to have DS stay with a close friend who he loves (she has a DS his age as well) for one day and then back at home with Gramma for the other 2 days (she probably couldn't handle the whole 3 days). I think he will be ok without nursing, but DH keeps insisting that we *must* wean DS before then. This deadline is looming over me and I just don't see it happening.

So has anyone left their extended nurser for a few days? I think he will miss DH and I no matter whether he was weaned or not, but DH doesn't believe this (so easy to blame the nursing - don't get me started!). Also, what about me? I haven't felt "full" or a letdown in almost a year. Should I take a pump, just in case? Anyone have any tips for making it a little easier for either of us?


Edited to add: Do you think DS would pick back up nursing after the trip? I fear DH will want to use the trip as weaning, if it doesn't happen before then. Sometimes DH's are a PITA!

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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#2 of 10 Old 03-15-2003, 12:45 AM
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You know your child best. if he is an easy going guy, and loves his grandma and his friends, maybe he'll make it. What if he does have a meltdown tho, will they be able to soothe him? Can you do a couple more overnight dry runs before May?

Even if you are not feeling letdowns, you probably are still producing quite a lot of milk, with around 5 nursings a day. Definitely bring a pump, better safe than sorry, believe me. Don't want leaks all over your dress, and a plugged duct to boot! Not feeling letdowns is quite common, despite good milk supply.

As far as the weaning issue, ideally that should be between you and ds. It is such a useful mothering tool. And it is so good for keeping him healthy. Not to mention, some toddlers are erratic eaters of table foods, and nursing fills in the gaps. And when they are sick, it keeps them hydrated and comforted and helps them get better quicker. Kids' immune systmes are not fully functional until age 6. If you are confident and aware of EBF benefits, you will be able to express your wishes to dh. If you are ambivalent, he will keep pressing.

Yes, when you get back, after only 3 days, why wouldn't he still want to nurse, if you are willing? They don't forget how in 3 days!
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#3 of 10 Old 03-15-2003, 06:41 PM
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My ds#1 spent several nights with MIL while still nursing. Even if it was 2 or 3 in a row he always wanted his "milkies" when he got home. If your ds is very comfortable and familiar with Gramma I bet he will do fine with her. My ds has always looked forward to his time alone with Grammy .
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#4 of 10 Old 03-16-2003, 02:26 AM
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I just did this! My nursing boy is 2.5 years old and he nurses only twice a day. Last week, I needed to travel to the East Coast, and I left my son with dh. I left home on Tuesday morning after nursing him. I returned on Thursday night (around 8 pm) and he anted to nurse right away. He was pretty much fine without me, and I didn't need to pump at all. Of course, I am nursing my son less frequently than you are yours...but i would think that you could always express some milk manually if you had to. That is, if you'd rather not bring the pump. I retired my pump when ds was about 15 months old, and I wasn't going to bring that baby back out for a 2 day trip!

And a cute, related story, because I can't resist. When I cam back from my 2 day trip, ds said to me, "I missed your overs, mommy." (That's what he calls my breasts.) So I said, "That's all you missed while I was gone?" to which he replied, "I missed your whole body."
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#5 of 10 Old 03-16-2003, 07:24 PM
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I had to go to a funeral last summer when dd was 18mos. She did fine with DH, but I had to pump twice a day! Thank god I borrowed a hand pump at the last moment from a friend. IT was quite painful!! Bring it, you never know!
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#6 of 10 Old 03-18-2003, 02:16 AM
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I am leaving my Daughter for a weekend in June. She will be 18 months old by then, But I am very nervous about leaving her. She wont go to sleep without nursing. I will be leaving her with the in laws ( who we live with so she is very comfortable with them ) I will be watching this thread
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#7 of 10 Old 03-19-2003, 12:39 PM
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When my dd was19 months I left her for a few nights with dh. She did just fine and did want her "numnums" as soon as I returned. I used a manual pump and hand expressed some while in the shower while I was gone. I think the hand expression would have been enough. My dd probably nurses about as often as your ds is.

I have to go out of town for work for a few days next week and my dh also brought up about having this be a weaning trip but I know neither dd or I are ready yet so if she wants to nurse when I get home than she shall.

I'm sure you ds will be fine when you are gone and ready to reconnect with nursing upon your return. I agree with the other poster who said know the benefits of EBF and be definite if you are not ready to wean. I will follow that same advice.

To 3cutiepies, I bet your dd will do fine as well. It's amazing how they can totally adapt when you are not there. I thought it would be hard at night for dh because dd always wakes up 2-3 times a night to nurse but she went to bed just fine and back to sleep at night without a problem because she knew I wasn't there. Now, if I was home and didn't nurse her, then she would make a stink.

Mommy to Katie (7-3-99) and Abby (6-30-01)

Normee, married to DH since 1997, mama to DD bornĀ 1999 and DD2 born 2001
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#8 of 10 Old 03-19-2003, 12:51 PM
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Dh and I left one dd for 24 hours, when she was 3 and still nursing. She stayed with my Mom and Dad. She slept with my mom and woke in the night. She insisted on going to the door and looking for me. I think she stood there and cried on and off for about 1/2 an hour (spirited child). My mom was patient and kept telling her I would be back when it was light out. when they went back to bed, she asked my mom to nurse her. My mom told her she had no milk, and dd said, "Oh, come on!" :bf
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#9 of 10 Old 03-19-2003, 04:51 PM
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Everything should be fine. At 2 they don't forget nursing that easily.

When my dd was 3, my dh and I went to Hawaii for our 10 th aniversay. I talked to her about weaning before our trip but she nursed up to the day and said she was ok with me leaving. Imagaine my surprise when 2 weeks later I still had milk and she still wanted to nurse.

It was nice and she went on to nurse for another 2 1/2 years
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#10 of 10 Old 03-20-2003, 01:05 PM
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Just wanted to say thanks to all of you for the experiences! I've been wanting (and so has DH) to go away for the weekend and I thought it would be impossible until dd was weaned (she's 18 mos) She still nurses about 5x a day but has done fine for whole days (about 10 hrs) at a time if I'm gone.
I wasn't in any hurry to wean her and DH has been giving me static lately-now I've got a way to satisfy both!

Full-time homeschooling mama : of a 15yo "teenager" , 12yo DIVA, 9yo builder, & 4yo treasure.
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