I need help.
I am in a slump.
I am tandem nursing my almost 3 year old (on wed!) and my 2 mos old. My baby is a wonderful sleeper...sleeps long stretches and wakes up on average 2-3 times a night.
My toddler on the other hand is a frequent waker...nurses a lot...she could nurse all night if she wanted.
I have slept in the living room with baby for a few nights...that seemed to help since she couldnt smell me and I wasnt at her convenience. Sometime she would come at 2am or other time at 5am then I would slumber back to bedroom with her and the baby. It did help to cut out the frequent nursing. dh said I couldnt keep sleeping away from them...so tried again back together... didnt work. Then I tried a new tactics...of counting to 10 when I wanted to warn her that nursing time was over. (since telling her to wait till the sun came up doesnt work, and saying no would only make her cry for hours despite dh attempt to cuddle her in replacement, even if I try to cuddle..she is a strong one and will nudge my arm out of the way, pry my arm open anything to get at the 'inaccessible breasts'. I really hate making this a battle with her and she is almost 3 so I expect she would be able to understand when I talk to her...but she wont give me eye contact and wont make and deals with me etc.
She will do one thing despite howling at top of her lung in middle of the night...she will calm down long enough to be quiet and say 'please' eagerly and signing too at same time. How can I give in.
At first I thought it was working counting to 10 when I was ready for her to finish our nursing session. But then in the night when she nurses...I wait till an appropriate length of time has passed...then I start to count. Sometime she says no not yet...and wants other side...so I wait then I count. She will then remove herself and turn and cuddle with me... few min later or half hour later she is up again wanting to nurse. I explained she just had milk to wait a bit longer. I have offered her juice (which she used as a substitute during pregnancy month when my milk was diminished) but she wont ave any of that.
I have wondered if she is getting hungry at these early morning hours so offered her food instead...but she doesnt want anything..just milk.
I dont know what to do and am at my wits end. Dh thinks I should seriously wean her...but at this pace it looks like she is definitely not ready to wean. I just want her to be able to space out her night nursing...and not nurse every hour. Baby doesnt even wake up that much! I know she is not waking up because of baby since he is a good sleeper. (which I was worried about beforehand).
Thanks again for your tips and sorry I ramble on so much. I really do need some tips. I have no LLL in my area and none of my friends have done extended nursing.
stephanie, tandem nursing to 3 year old and 2 mos old