Funny nursing stories - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 47 Old 07-22-2006, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have so enjoyed reading the humorous stories from you ladies that I'd like to start a thread of just funny nursing stories! I thought of this today while nursing Andrew. I have an EXTREMELY fast letdown and today he was smiling and playing while he ate and when he pulled off to smile at me my milk kept spraying and shot my DH in the eye : !

I almost wet my pants laughing, Andrew was smiling because I was laughing and poor Sean didn't know what hit him. It makes you wish you could rewind life and see some things again....

Julie, proud graduate of the AOW 3 year program in the study of boobology . Me : + DH : = Super Bubba !
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#2 of 47 Old 07-22-2006, 11:59 PM
 
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let's see....my dd is recently weaned, she nursed for 3 years9 months

I remember her squeezing my breasts together and trying to nurse on both of them at the same time.

She'd grab my breast, point it at me and ask if I wanted some (I declinded )

And I remember leaning over her to buckle her carseat and she told me "you have cute boobs, mom!"

Gotta love the extended nursers!

Sarah

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#3 of 47 Old 07-23-2006, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamatoady

She'd grab my breast, point it at me and ask if I wanted some (I declinded )

Sarah
Hey, at least you taught her to share

Julie, proud graduate of the AOW 3 year program in the study of boobology . Me : + DH : = Super Bubba !
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#4 of 47 Old 07-23-2006, 12:36 AM
 
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I remember when dd1 was just a few weeks old. I was sitting on the couch nursing her. When I wasn't looking at her, she pulled off and starting a little squirmy thing. I look at her and SHE is being squirted in the eye with a steady stream of milk. She was blinking furiously and looking at me like, "Could you shut that thing off?"

This one isn't funny, but sweet. When I was pg with ds, I was really upset one day and crying while laying in bed. Dd1 pushes my breast up in my face and said, "Nurse mommy, feel better." I always think about that one when I hear that people are stopping nursing before a year - I would hate to have missed out on that.
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#5 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 12:46 AM
 
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I hesitate to tell this story, because it does involve bottles, but it's funny so I'll go ahead. My older daughter (2 yrs old) has motor planning problems and literally never figured out how to nurse, despite many lactation consultations, so I finally started just eping her. I did that for six months until it was a choice between getting my milk and letting her cry or formula and attention during all the pumping time. She still uses bottles for comfort, at nap and bedtime, of milk.

My younger daughter is nursing still at 14 months. (And I express about a bottle of milk a day for my 2 yr old.) That's the background.

We're making the four hour drive from Houston to San Antonio at night and the 2 yr old is getting bored. She starts screaming bloody murder, so I pull out a bottle for her. She drinks it and then begins screaming again that she wants more milk. My husband say, "We dont have anymore." I'm like, "Yes, we do. Anna, give me your bottle." So we're driving down the interstate at 75 miles an hour, with Anna screaming, and I'm hand expressing milk into a bottle. Periodically I miss (aim not that great hand expressing in a moving vehicle) and a streak of milk will go across the windshield or the dashboard. It looked like we murdered Casper the Friendly Ghost. But, I did get a full 8 ounces and Anna fell asleep drinking that bottle!
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#6 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 01:00 AM
 
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Subbing. I amalways spraying poor DS with milk. When he pops off to look around, he gets it in the ear or chin.
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#7 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 01:26 AM
 
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My 2 1/2 year old is learning to count- the other day he points to my breast and says "mommy's breast! 1 breast."

He then points to the other breast, and says "2 breast!"

He then goes on to say "3 breast, 4 breast, 5 breast, 6 breast!"

My dh overhears this and quips,"Are you ready to nurse a whole litter?"

Siobhan

You know the attributes for a great adult? Initiative, creativity, intellectual curiosity? They make for a helluva kid...
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#8 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 01:34 AM
 
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oh my....
just the other day i was in a van with some friends&kids- we were stopped so i decided to nurse dd- as i was getting my breast out - and trying to be discreet i shot a lady( pg for fiorst time) in the face- big time- we both just pretended nothing happened.,.....
what is the ettiquitte there? i hope she still bfs!!!
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#9 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 01:42 AM
 
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My son was nursing on one side and reached over and grabbed my other nipple and turned it towards me and squirted me! Little toady lol...

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#10 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 01:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terabith
Periodically I miss (aim not that great hand expressing in a moving vehicle) and a streak of milk will go across the windshield or the dashboard. It looked like we murdered Casper the Friendly Ghost.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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#11 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 01:53 AM
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When Rain was 2, we went out for doughnuts one evening and she struck up a conversation with an older woman. At one point the woman asked her, "Do you go to nursery school?" Rain looked at her and laughed and said, "Oh, no, Teacher Mary doesn't nurse me at school... only my mom does that."

I so cracked up, but I don't think the woman really understood what she was saying, but I had tears running down my cheeks.

dar

 
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#12 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 05:35 PM
 
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About 2 weeks ago I took the boys to the library. We were down in the kid's area when DS2 woke up and decided it was time to eat or else. The bad thing about our library's kid's area is that it is decorated just for kids, ther are no chairs or benches adult sized. So as I'm trying to find somewhere that I can sit and feed him that isn't too small for my butt to fit he started really wailing. DS1 looked at me like I was an idiot and informed me "Baby wants to drink booby milk!" in his loudest voice. If evryone wasn't already staring at me there sure were after his announcement.

Mom of 3 (Evan, Trey, Saffron ) Blogs at findingsummer.com
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#13 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 05:58 PM
 
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My dd (nearly 2) has a lot of funny bits these days-

she likes to nuzzle the boobs... while of course saying- "NUZZLE BOOBS!"

She's very polite these days. One morning she was having her wake- up nursing session (which is mostly entirely asleep ) so she's nursing, eyes closed, appears to be asleep... I sneeze- she pulls off and says "bless you" then goes back to nursing- eyes still closed.... :

-Angela
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#14 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dar
When Rain was 2, we went out for doughnuts one evening and she struck up a conversation with an older woman. At one point the woman asked her, "Do you go to nursery school?" Rain looked at her and laughed and said, "Oh, no, Teacher Mary doesn't nurse me at school... only my mom does that."

I so cracked up, but I don't think the woman really understood what she was saying, but I had tears running down my cheeks.

dar
: LOL - that one is TOO funny!!!!!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#15 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 06:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lillake
About 2 weeks ago I took the boys to the library. We were down in the kid's area when DS2 woke up and decided it was time to eat or else. The bad thing about our library's kid's area is that it is decorated just for kids, ther are no chairs or benches adult sized. So as I'm trying to find somewhere that I can sit and feed him that isn't too small for my butt to fit he started really wailing. DS1 looked at me like I was an idiot and informed me "Baby wants to drink booby milk!" in his loudest voice. If evryone wasn't already staring at me there sure were after his announcement.
Oh that's so beautiful and priceless!

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#16 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 06:26 PM
 
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My son nursed until he was 37 months old. He weaned while pg with his sister. I was still nursing her when this incident occured (I think he was nearly 4). He went to his class during church service one day and when we picked him up, the preschool coordinator was telling me about the boys and how they played that day. She said they decided to play with the kitchen toys and the baby dolls. They all had a doll and ds decided his baby was hungry so he lifted his shirt and fed his baby ~ and so did all the other boys! I thought it was hilarious, but I bet I was the only parent that story was shared with as it was a pretty mainstream church.
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#17 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 06:31 PM
 
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DH, DD and I went to a restaurant and were greeted by our server, who was quite taken with DD. He kept tickling her chin and generally trying to entertain her. She likes boys, anyway, so she would smile whenever he came over. Well, at one point, she decided to nurse. I don't use a blanket because I am discreet. Our server came over to bring us our soup and he reached down to tickle DD's chin. She popped off and turned her head to smile. Still, you couldn't see nipple or anything. Then, she turned her head and latched on again. It was then that the server realized what was going on and realized he was about half an inch from touching my breast. He said, "Oh my G-d! I am so sorry! I'm sorry!" Then he literally ran away.

DH and I just about fell over laughing.
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#18 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 06:38 PM
 
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when my ds was 4 or 5 months old we were visiting some friends. i was nursing him and looked over to see my friends' niece who was 6, sitting next to me nursing her babydoll facedown on her forearm!
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#19 of 47 Old 07-24-2006, 07:19 PM
 
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These are great... I can't think well enough right now to add one.... but it would be awesome to get a great compilation going for Readers Digest (and any other mag that takes submissions) Maybe they could print them out for world breastfeeding week.

Jessica

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#20 of 47 Old 07-25-2006, 12:31 AM
 
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OMG - my eyes are tearing & I had to hold back my so I don't wake ds behind me. Thanks for sharing!

Sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
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#21 of 47 Old 07-25-2006, 06:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jessjgh1
These are great... I can't think well enough right now to add one.... but it would be awesome to get a great compilation going for Readers Digest (and any other mag that takes submissions) Maybe they could print them out for world breastfeeding week.

Jessica
I'm sure Reader's Digest already has their August issue arranged- if it's not already printed. Maybe somebody could suggest this for BF week in 2007.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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#22 of 47 Old 07-25-2006, 09:28 AM
 
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OMG, I love the one about the server running away. Can't think of any of my own to add right now.

Julia- wife to Tom since 3/01 mom to three girls- A Dancer 9/02, An Angel 11/04 and A Gymnast 1/06 + one on the way EDD 1/10
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#23 of 47 Old 07-25-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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I'm holding out for the Cooking with Breast Milk cookbook, for those of us with oversupply issues. Compilation of recipees using breast milk. (I tried making chocolate pie with breast milk for the party after dd's baptism, but pudding wouldn't congeal.)

I also seriously wonder why breast milk isn't sold in stores. I'd think it would be a major health food. So good, even for adults. I mean, it'd be very expensive bc of how rare it would be, but I'm surprised it doesn't exist as a market at all. Not advocating it for many reasons, but I am surprised it isn't present.
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#24 of 47 Old 07-25-2006, 06:29 PM
 
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Oops, I keep hoping the week is in October... Lots to do in one week.

Jessica

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#25 of 47 Old 08-08-2006, 07:54 PM
 
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OMG these stories are so funny!! :

Well I've only been nursing for 7 weeks but anyways, has anyone seen "Zoolander"? When me and DD were just learning how to breastfeed, she would often detach from my nipple and make the Derek Zoolander signature "look" (I guess it was a look of confusion, but it was cute nonetheless ). Me and my boyfriend would crack up whenever she did this, and joke that it was "our baby's first look"!
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#26 of 47 Old 08-08-2006, 08:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mika85
OMG these stories are so funny!! :

Well I've only been nursing for 7 weeks but anyways, has anyone seen "Zoolander"? When me and DD were just learning how to breastfeed, she would often detach from my nipple and make the Derek Zoolander signature "look" (I guess it was a look of confusion, but it was cute nonetheless ). Me and my boyfriend would crack up whenever she did this, and joke that it was "our baby's first look"!
My baby did this! We called it his "Kissy Face."
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#27 of 47 Old 08-08-2006, 11:27 PM
 
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Sort of funny- today Meleah was wanting to nurse and I was trying to finish a post. So she's sitting there trying to conjole me- "Meleah really likes the booboo. I really NEED the booboo mommy. The booboo is soo yummy mama. I really want it mommy... " All said with a big grin and wiggling of the eyebrows. LOL She is getting SO vocal about her love of nursing lately. I love it.
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#28 of 47 Old 08-08-2006, 11:34 PM
 
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Ds has just figured out where the milk lives

The other day he was doing his morning wake-up nursing session and popped off me. He looked down, and I could see he was making the mental connection between my breast and the milk.

He got the most magnificent huge grin on his face, grabbed at my breast, and then did a nose-dive right for it. He did that several times. It was hilarious.

DD2, who is sick, wanted milk. I expressed some breastmilk into a cup for her and she drank it, not realizing it wasn't her usual chocolate milk (she weaned when I was expecting ds). She looked at me and said, this has "EXTRA GOOOD" squeezy syrup Mommy"

(the chocolate in her milk comes from Bosco, ).

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#29 of 47 Old 08-08-2006, 11:43 PM
 
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These are great! I'll just post a couple, though with a 4 year old, I have many!

When my oldest was a newborn, we had a gathering at our house and my friends little girl was there. She was breastfed as a baby but didn't have any siblings yet so she wasn't really familiar with seeing it often. She wandered in while I was nursing him and got right in my boob and said 'whatcha doin?' and I told her I was feeding the baby. She says 'Why is he biting your booby?' I explained that he was drinking milk that my body makes for him. She pondered it a while and then reached out and touched my boob and says 'My mom has those, I'm going to see if she has milk too' and took off.

When my youngest was about 2 months old, we had to run to the store for a few things, and of course baby started fussing. He wasn't hungry, he just didn't like being in the infant carseat and I had forgotten the sling, so I was letting him suck on my pinky and he just wanted out. My older son let out a sigh and says 'Mom, take our your left booby and feed him!' The lady in line behind us started laughing, it was said very loud, and so funny! Why the left booby? The world may never know!

And I was nursing my son in my truck one day at Target (My mom and sister ran in with my older son to pick up some pictures we had dropped off earlier, so I just used the time to feed baby) and this car full of teenagers pulls up right next to me and one gets out of the back and walked right by my window. His eyes got HUGE and he bolted for hte others and of course, they all traipsed by the window to 'look at something in the trunk', then all walked back by. I had the window down and as the ywalked by the 2nd time I said 'Hey boys!' and they about died! So funny!

And the last one...
We were at Menards one day and the baby was about 5 months old, and my husband went to get something so I sat on a bench in the area where they set up and show off thier patio furniture. I was nursing the baby and this old guy comes over and sits by me. He started talking about kids and asked how old the baby was, etc. Then he says 'Boy, he must be a good sleeper to sleep through all this ruckus.' I laughed and said 'oh, he's nursing'. He leans over and looks, then says 'Lucky kid!' and just kept right on chatting about the day. It was so cute of him!
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#30 of 47 Old 08-08-2006, 11:52 PM
 
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when my neice was just 20 months or so, long before I was a mama,
I was visiting my sister in the city for an overnight. I was just getting my pajamas on when my neice walked in and stopped, staring at me and at my chest, stunned.

"you have breastfeeds." she announced. "where's your baby?"
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