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#61 of 520 Old 04-26-2003, 09:04 PM
 
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Bitsmama I hated nursing both of them together for a long time too. I had to be really desprate to nurse them together, even in the middle of the night I would find ways around it.

I am not sure why it changed, but probably when they were both old enough to ask the other to come nurse too, maybe around a year. And now they nurse together several times a day, but maybe you are right about the feelings, because how much different is it when you are nursing a 2 and 3 year old.

I know my toddler out nursed the new baby. He quit eating solids for months (I alway say they started solids together), but he was not to old when #2 was born (only 19 mo). And with me making soo much milk, the toddler could handle nursing until it was empty and even getting some comfort nursing, but my newborn was choking and gagging if he tried to comfort nurse, I don't think he nursed longer then about 5 minutes in the first few months (and from a kid who weighed 11 lbs 13 oz at his 2 week check up- he had gained over a lb a week) He even was the first to nurse after the baby was born: He was trying to be very patient, but after me sitting there trying to get his brother latched on for an hour or so, he just had to try!
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#62 of 520 Old 04-28-2003, 03:42 AM
 
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i am nursing my 3 year old (march 00) and cant believe I am nursing past 2 years. I had thought for sure would be finish by then. I guess I didnt know so much how much a toddler would nurse...and reading all yourp osts cant believe so many go up to 4-5 years.

that is probably be where we will be if I continue to do child led...but at the moment I am really dreading nursing my dd. she is too demanding and wants to nurse in the day...I told her only at nap time and bed time...and she nurses a lot in the night.

I have tried to tell her to wait till the sun comes up, count to 10 and so forth. the only thing seems to work is the counting to 10 and then we snuggle.

I really need help as I am really detesting nursing her. I am also nursing a 3 mos old too.

I hate what it is doing to our relationship and I am really grabby and have no patient when I nurse her. Why does she want to nurse so much? We do lots of things together, crafts, paint, so forth, even attend a few playgroups a week, go for nature walks and play outdoor.

told my sis the other day, I think what I am really lacking is the support of other long term nurser. We have no lll at the moment but am working together with the leader to get one going. But not sure how many will be long term nurser in the group once we start.

I am grateful to see this post and see so many long term nursers. how do you all cope with the down days??

stephanie, tandem nurser to 3 mos and 3 years old
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#63 of 520 Old 04-28-2003, 11:36 PM
 
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Marchmom19 My DS was born March 2000 too.HE still nurses alot at least 8 times a day and usually a couple of times at night.It usually doesn't bother me that he nurses so much,but here lately he has been getting pretty demanding.But I stay home with him all day while the older 2 are at school.So we just have eachother.I know it must be so much harder to have 2 that are nursing.I am sorry I don't have any advice to give you.I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone having a 3 year old that still loves to nurse.
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#64 of 520 Old 04-29-2003, 08:31 PM
 
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Hello Mamas,
I just wanted to jump into this wonderful thread. Right now I'm nursing Maddy, who just turned four last month and Sam who is 5 months today the time goes by sooo fast. I weaned Alex(gentle, easy weaning) when he turned four because I became pregnant(I lost that baby), and I was crushed. I had planned on child led weaning, but I was not willing to nurse three kiddos at that point.

So now Maddy is nursing about 1 once a day, though she usually asks a LOT more than that(so I guess it's not completely child led). I'm getting a lot of flack from my mom and husband, about how it's not fair, and how does it make Alex feel. But my feeling is we know better, we do better. What if I had FF my first child, and then wanted to BF the rest of my kids, am I not supposed to because it's not fair? I don't think so!!
Sorry bout the rant!
:

I love being able to come here, and nursing a four year old is the norm!!

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#65 of 520 Old 05-04-2003, 10:41 PM
 
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I am currently nursing my 8 month old and my almost 3 1/2 yr old. My dd weaned during my last pregnancy, two months before she turned five and two months before the baby came. I have tandum nursed thru two pregnancies. I did lead dd to wean. nursing two while preggers was just annoying.

mom to four lively children. birth and postpartum doula. midwifery student. choosing to enjoy life. :
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#66 of 520 Old 05-08-2003, 12:50 AM
 
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Wow! I am thrilled to see so many moms that are ebf! Way to go to all of you. I especially enjoyed reading that there are other moms out there who nursed 5 yrs & older kids!

My DD is 4 1/2 & my DS 2 1/2. They have both weaned over the last couple of weeks, as I am expecting #3. I thought I would just keep going through this pregnancy, like last time, but had a decent amount of discomfort. My DD talks about nursing again when the baby comes (5 mo away). I think my DS still wants to nurse-he asks if my nipples still hurt. He is so sweet and loving-he doesn't want to hurt me, and that is stronger than his wanting to nurse. It breaks my heart.

I wonder if after 5 months either of them will be interested. I know my DD will remember how. Has anyone here had experience w/ kids nursing again after such a long time not? And any experience w/ tandem nursing two older kids & new born! My kids had just been nursing at bed time, or when they got hurt and needed extra comfort. I can't imagine they would nurse alot w/ the new baby, although my DD did ask to nurse alot more after DS was born.

Keep up the liquid love ladies
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#67 of 520 Old 05-08-2003, 12:57 AM
 
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anyway... i nursed joe until he was almost four- he weaned about a week before his bd. he slowed down & only nursed to sleep after he turned 3. so many times i gritted my teeth & wished he would finish. but ultimately i let him decide. i was starting to wonder if i would be nursing a 16 yo to sleep!! but now we lie down & i can read or watch tv while he falls asleep & he sleeps SO GOOD! i am so proud of both of us for the breastfeeding experience we shared!

good for all you moms who continue nursing your older kids!!!!

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#68 of 520 Old 05-08-2003, 06:33 PM
 
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Ana is just over 18mnths, so I'm not in the "EB older children" category, but I wanted to give you all and

thank you for sharing your stories, you are an inspiration!
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#69 of 520 Old 05-09-2003, 12:36 AM
 
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Please tell me, what is EBF? I am new here!!

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#70 of 520 Old 05-09-2003, 12:45 AM
 
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Let me clarify...how long would you be nursing to be considered extended?

Ashleighsmom
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#71 of 520 Old 05-09-2003, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Extended breastfeeding is a subjective term, it depends on each individual's (and their society's) opinion IMO. For some EBF is past 6 months, for others it is into toddlerhood (past 1 year), and for others it is beyond toddlerhood. I intended for this to be a support thread for those nursing children past toddlerhood (meaning 4+yrs I guess) but like I said before Everyone is welcome here (to share and learn). I don't want to be exclusive or snobby. The only people who are NOT welcome here are critics of EBF past a certain age.

I really like what someone here at Mothering once said (I'm sorry I can't remember who it was, but I saved the quote)...
Quote:
"The phrase 'extended nursing' should be stricken from the language, so that there is simply...nursing.
'Extended' implies a 'stretching out' of something--I haven't stretched out my children's nursing time, I've just met their needs."
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#72 of 520 Old 05-10-2003, 08:59 PM
 
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YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, you really ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was as I read every single one of your posts!!!!! I just feel soooo validated!!!!!KWIM?

I could have weaned dd when I had my 7 hr long surgery for my endo...she was 31/2 yrs then...BUT I DIDN'T!!! She stopped nursing for 3 weeks due to radioactive drugs I was given,and that I was just too sick to even sit up,let alone nurse! But after 3 weeks of no nursing, we continued and then I conceived ds....I nursed her till I was 3 mos pg..then due to nip pain and the fact that I was still recovering frfom major surgery, and was pg....I felt my body really needed to have a break...so I weaned her at 50.2 mos old!!!!!

Truthfully, I would have liked to start nursing her again after ds was born, but I WAS a little freaked out about someone thinking it was wrong...I'm sure if I would have been on MDC, I would have had the support and confidence to just do it...but I wasn't and I didn't. *sigh* I was suffering from panic attacks too badly and PTSS....and PPD...so I just left well enough alone and have told myself that I did great...nursing over 4 yrs is a long time!!

I am going to try to let ds wean himself....I can't have more kids....and I want NO REGRETS! I feel stronger emotionally these days, so I think I should be able to. I just hope myhealth stays good.....

I love this thread!!!

mamapoppins

PS.....Don't you think LLL should have a preschoolers/kindergarden meeting? I DO!!!!!
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#73 of 520 Old 05-11-2003, 08:13 PM
 
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i have a 4yo who self weand at 15 months and i was 6 months preg with my now 2.5 yo. she has nursed since then, when she has been sick or had a bad day. my 2.5 is at 5 times a day now and i just had him stop the before breakfast one and he was fine with it. if he had fussed alot i wouldnt have pushed it but he isnt the best eater so i wanted him to eat abit better. as soon as he is done with breakfast he runs over to nurse.
Im think between now and his 3rd bday and we still nip.
angel
mom to grace 5/12/99 and drew 11/24/00
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#74 of 520 Old 05-11-2003, 09:58 PM
 
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my bro-in-law is being a poopy and won't get her internet service....so I thought I'd add in that she nursed her ds#1 till he was 9mos...ds#2 till he was 3.6yrs....dd is still nursing and she will be 5 yrs in July....in fact, she nurses several times aday on some days!!!!!!



mamapoppins
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#75 of 520 Old 05-16-2003, 08:43 PM
 
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I encouraged less nursing with my little guy when he was about two cause I was ttc (sensitive hormones wouldn't premit while nursing full bore) a year and a half later I'm finally preg. after pretty much stopping the nursing (I kept cutting back a little but and still getting short luteal phase) He has reluctantly stopped nursing asks a couple of times a day (sometimes serious sometimes joking) I said to myself, as soon as I conceive I'll let him have some "nana" . But now that I'm preg. (6 weeks) it's hard. my nipples are sore, I have extreme morning sickness (nasueous 24/7) and irritable. I have this romantic idea that it would be great for his adjustiment to the baby (he's so excited aboiut the new baby) if we continued to have some nursing through the preg. and possible some tandem. Any advice or do I just have to grin and bear it if I decide to do it?
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#76 of 520 Old 05-23-2003, 05:55 PM
 
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chunkobaby,

these are some of the tips I received last pregnancy from dr. newman to help w/ nipple soreness...

since you are nursing infrequently & w/ pregnancy hormones, your milk supply is typically not plentiful & will change to colostrum-part of the soreness is due to this-to help try massage or warm compresses before nursing to help w/letdown

i found that one side was more sore than the other, so I tried to nurse more on the least sore side

i went back to using lansinoh to help w/ nipple soreness

the first 30 seconds seemed to be the most uncomfortable, so i did try to just "grin & bear it" at the beginning.

my dd was just nursing at bedtime, so i would also have a sippy cup handy and would offer that and snuggling and limit nursing time

since she was very verbal I would ask her to "use a big mouth" and have her open really wide before latching on

i know dr newman has more tips on his website & you can email him directly for more specific help.
http://www.bflrc.com/newman/articles.htm

i hope this is helpful. one other thing-if your child is still interested in nursing when the baby comes, don't be surprised if he wants to nurse more frequently when all your milk comes in. my dd was thrilled. it brought my milk in quickly, i had alot, and my ds barely lost any weight, and regained quickly.

best of luck
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#77 of 520 Old 05-23-2003, 09:26 PM
 
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Hello All-
My name is Kelley. I am tandem nursing my almost 4 year old and 10 mo old. I think the eldest is starting to wean but each time I think so she nurses a couple of times in a day a few days later.

It has been a real struggle dealing with family (not my wonderful dh but others) who seem so down on my dd nursing. I am running out of arguments and defenses when I encounter comments and yet when dd wants to nurse I really don't want to refuse- who knows if it will be the last time she ever does...

SO great to see so many other mamas here.
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#78 of 520 Old 05-24-2003, 10:41 AM
 
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Kelley,
Is it possible to just keep it in the immediate family and not mention around unsupportive family members? Unless your dd is asking to nurse when they are around...maybe you could suggest to her that it is something you just do when only immediate family is around. i found w/ my dd that as she got older she only really nursed in AM & bedtime, so it was easy to keep it private. also at that age they are usually too busy during the daytime w/ other activities. if you are staying over at someone else's home, you may still be able to keep it private if you are only nursing at bedtime.
Sorry to hear that your extended family is not more supportive. Atleast you have lots of support and other moms ebf here! Good luck!
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#79 of 520 Old 05-24-2003, 03:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kelley,

I agree with mamabunny. It's a shame that we sometimes have to hide something so wonderful that everyone should be supporting. But I see it more as protecting myself and my child from unnecessary negativity. It really is nobody else's business but you and your child's, you shouldn't feel like you have to give excuses. If they are willing to learn (and not criticize) then teach away! There is some great info here at Mothering and there are also many other sources (books and online sources) in support of extended nursing, let us know if you need some of the links and book titles.
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#80 of 520 Old 05-25-2003, 12:11 PM
 
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Thanks for the help, mamabunny and mothersunshine~

Maybe instead of fearing this will be the last time we nurse so I should say Yes!! I should tell her that we can when we get home and just trust that with her steel trap mind we will definitely nurse when we get home.

Please do let me know what books there are- all I have is Mothering your Nursing Toddler.
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#81 of 520 Old 05-25-2003, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I recommend "How Weaning Happens" by Diane Bengson (a LLL book) and "Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives" by Katherine Dettwyler, PhD. I don't have the book by Dettwyler (yet) but I have read some of the excerpts online, which you can find at http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/detwean.html

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#82 of 520 Old 05-26-2003, 12:23 AM
 
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My son is almost 26 mos. old and still an avid nurser. He is currently teething his last set of molars and nursing all of the time as a result! My husband is more concerned about the norm and has mentioned weaning. He slipped again this weekend after agreeing not to say anything, because my nursing relationship is EXTREMELY important to me.

I had a miscarriage with an unplanned pregnancy and then a c-section wioth my son, so I think I felt like the one thing my womanly body could do well was nurse, and I never ever gave him a bottle, etc., as a result.

He has been so healthy -- sick for less than 5 days, total, in his life. He can collect himself easily and well when nursing (wards off tantrums, etc.). He goes to sleep (bed and naptime) so easily. So many benefits! Plus, I'm thin!

When I was a few months along, a friend gave me So That's What They're For?! as a birthday gift. At 5 mos., I decided to go ahead and read it. I ended up deciding to go ahead and read the last chapter on toddler nursing. When she said that most kids wean between ages 1 and 3, I thought, why not?

And now I'm committed to child-led weaning. My biggest hurdle will be my husband, who now has stretched to saying, "If he's six years old, I'll have a problem with it." Hopefully that'll keep on stretching as it needs to for my son.

Thanks for the support -- I'm having friends wean left and right, so I feel a little more alone!
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#83 of 520 Old 05-28-2003, 09:42 PM
 
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*waves* Can I join the party? *g*

I'm still nursing my 'big girl' - her words - who will be three in August, several times a day. No one knows how often she nurses but me, and while some people are aware that I still nurse, I'm starting to get more disgust, reproach, the whole shebang. So, I was wondering if/when any of you 'went underground' with your nursing? I don't intend to force her to wean, but I really don't want to get into discussions about it with anyone else. (Yes, I'm a coward!)

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#84 of 520 Old 05-28-2003, 10:00 PM
 
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That's a good question. I never felt the need to *go underground* while nursing dd....those who knew I nursed her at age 4 weren't about to argue with me. Had I nursed her for longer, I suppose I might have....

With ds, I suppose that I have more confidence now, but if we get to age 4, I'll probably be moerediscreet and protective where nursing is concerned....but family and friends will know(or they're not family and friends!) and so will ds's doc.

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#85 of 520 Old 05-29-2003, 09:17 AM
 
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hi yall, My Max is about 4 and a half, nurses several times during the day and usually only once at night, I have nursed all 6 of my kids, My Saraih, the 9 year old nursed regularly untill somewhere around 5 and then had her last drink when Max was born (it was a huge help when my milk came in!) at about 5 and a half,
I did not nurse the rest of my children nearly as long due to personal substance use/abuse issues
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#86 of 520 Old 05-29-2003, 11:15 AM
 
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Hi Mary, it's good to see you.
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#87 of 520 Old 05-29-2003, 02:28 PM
 
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New to this site and just found this thread. I am still nursing my 22 month old ds and am less than 4 weeks away from delivering our 2nd dc.

I too knew I wanted to breastfeed (for at least a year), but never knew I'd come this far. I feel great about it. So many people (and books) said he'd probably wean during the pregnancy - but not Jacob. It has been rough at times with sore, tender breasts, but at this point I'm preparing myself for tandem nursing.

At 22 months old, I'm not sure how much he understands - I've asked him if he will share his "milk" with the new baby and usually he says no - sometimes yes - we'll see!

Glad to know there is so much support here.
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#88 of 520 Old 05-29-2003, 03:35 PM
 
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I was always pretty open about nursing. Pretty much stopped nursing in public when me dd was 21/2 years old. but it just depends on who I was talking to at the time. Some people are outright ignorant about nursing an older child and if I didn't want a confrentation it wouldn't be mentioned.

But if I was in a mood to debate, no problem I can do that too
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#89 of 520 Old 05-29-2003, 05:40 PM
 
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I'd love to hear from people on here what their replies are when they get funny looks, unsupportive comments, etc. It always helps me to think those things through before a conflict arises. So far, I haven't had much problem. But my son does nurse a lot, including in public places (often leaving the breast quickly and therefore exposed while I fumble belatedly ... in general, I try to make nursing him as socially acceptable as possible so that people see me and think, "She's not a freak, and that doesn't look so freakish ... I could do that!"), and I'm anticipating more problems. We live in Portland, too, which is pretty liberal, but we'll be heading to NC and FL this summer, where I would anticipate less social acceptance of the practice (or comments due to less visibility of the practice?).
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#90 of 520 Old 05-29-2003, 05:49 PM
 
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I don't know if I really qualify here since I'm no longer nursing an older child. But I did nurse my older dd until March 1 of this year, which was 10 days shy of her 3rd birthday. It broke my heart and I waffled on it for over a year, but finally I just had to do it. I nursed her all through my pg with dd #2 and tandem nursed for 8 1/2 months. I really cherished the nursing relationship Ayla and I had, and I just didn't want to give it up. I wasn't sure if I would enjoy tandem nursing. It was kind of a mixed bag. I loved it at first when dd #2 was a newborn. I loved holding them in my lap and seeing them so happy. I loved it when Ayla would reach out and hold her tiny sister's hand. The best part to me was when I nursed them together and they cuddled up together, their bodies formed the shape of a heart in my lap. It was just so beautiful. (Still makes me teary, lol) But then as the baby got older, Ayla would get less and less flexible to the limits I put on her and I found myself engaged in daily mu-mu battles. She wanted to nurse all the time, and I found myself having to give the baby bottles of formula in the evenings because I was just tapped out and touched out. I tried every creative limitation I could think of. But it finally dawned on me that this battle was no longer over her desire to nurse, but it seemed to be more of a power struggle. She knew I was trying to limit her so she kept pushing me to win me over. The final straw was when I wrestled her for 45 minutes of tears and hysterics in front of my out-of-town visiting inlaws. I had a hard time at first because she would throw such tantrums to nurse. But a friend gave me the idea to laugh every time she asked as if it were the funniest joke I'd ever heard. She's going through this stage where she is experimenting with what is funny so it actually worked. I still have lots of guilt over it. If I hadn't had dd #2 she would still be nursing. I was fully prepared to nurse her until she was 4 or 5. In fact she still asks me at least 2-3 times a week, if not every day. I'd love to nurse her again, but my sanity will not endure through the power struggles. I just don't think I'm cut out for tandem nursing. DD #2 is almost a year old and is much more easy going about it. I have been giving her bottles of water when she goes to bed and it is a special treat for her, she loves it. I think I may be pg again and maybe if I am this time we can work out the tandem thing. I hated weaning my child, and if I can help it I won't be doing it again.
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