BFing and the Car - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS is 5 months old. We go on the occasional outing in the car and although I've heard that most babies fall right to sleep, mine does not. He is super active and awake. This is not a problem except that he is a big eater - what do I do when he gets hungry? I've tried expressing milk into a bottle for him but a couple of issues with that. First, I really don't like feeding him out of a bottle and second, I don't think he really likes it either. He will take it for a bit but then start howling. I know it is a combination of being tired and wanting to be held but what do you do in a car?!

I've read the suggestion in the Sears book of leaning over into the car seat and feeding them - I've tried and it just doesn't work.

The other question I have is what do I do when I drive on my own with him? Let me also say that the longest car ride is 20 - 30 minutes. I make sure to feed him before we start but again he starts howling. I sing and talk to him constantly so he knows I'm there (needs lots of water for that ).

Any advice and suggestions would be appreciated.
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#2 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 11:24 AM
 
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my DD was the same! A trip to the grocery store was a strategical nightmare, and she cried in the car anyway! Every other kid in the world goes to sleep in the car, but no, not her! Best I can tell ya is that she is much better now (13 months). I did have some success playing baby type sing along music in the car, and hanging toys from the window (for her to watch)
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#3 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 11:29 AM
 
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Isabel,

First, I must say, welcome to MDC! It's good to see another NY mama.

My advice is.... try to figure out the Sears car seat position again. That is the only thing that worked for us - when driving in friends cars. If you explain why it's not working, maybe I can help.

Honestly, we don't own a car, so I never had to deal with driving while babe screamed. One AP mom that I know only used a pacifier in the car. She said that she thought it was more gentle than letting her babe cry.

~Laura
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#4 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 02:55 PM
 
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The first thing I would do is check the comfort of your carseat. Maybe it is pinching little legs or something? Is the sun shining in the babes face? If you find that comfort is not the issue maybe it is the scenery or the sounds. I would play with toys with the babe and also sing. I am not in favor of a pacifier. My ds will suck on the fist, thumb, and toys. Babies this age generally enjoy putting anything into their mouths for enviormental stimulation. Be creative and always, always, listen to what your mothering instincts tell you. I hope you get this worked out.
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#5 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 04:23 PM
 
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I agree with all the suggestions. Toys that dangle aboove them, soothing music, playing pat-a-cake with him... However, if you are the one driving, baby may just have to cry. I am NOT a CIO person by any means. But sometimes you have to get somewher and there is just no other option. All you can do is try different things and then when you get where you need to be, plan for a few extra minutes of snuggle time to get him calmed down. You are not a bad mom if you have to let him cry in the car every now and then.
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#6 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 07:00 PM
 
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I can totally sympathize with you. Both my kiddies cried in the car. My dd had the hardest time with the car. What worked for her was my finger she did not use a paci but she loved to suck on my finger I would reach over my seat and give her my finger to suck on I know that sounds crazy but what ever it takes. My ds also cried in the car and we would sing to him. We went thru a ton of songs until we found one that worked it was the Beatles Yellow Submarine. We had car toys that he only got to see when we were in the car and at 5 months it is like a new toy everytime. Really the best thing to keep in mind is that they do grow out of it at some point, so hang in there.
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#7 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 07:33 PM
 
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I so understand the crying in the car. I know it sounds terrible and you feel like you can't do anything.

I found that w/ my daughter she hated being in the sun so I had to do anything I could to help w/ that. Also, she likes when I sing--esp. Christmas songs and gymboree songs. I do also have her CD in the car so that I turn that on. She also liked country (Kenny Rodgers "The Gambler" there's something about the beat and tone of his voice). Another thing, the carseat...my dd hated the "bucket". Don't know if you use one but when I got the convertiable carseat she was a bit happier w/ it. I do give her a paci too for car rides; it seems to help. If I'm alone w/ her and she's fussy, I'll pull over somewhere and get in the backseat. I don't take her out right away unless I know it's a diaper problem and I lean over and nurse her while she's in her carseat. I do this b/c I've found that if I take her out, it's actually worse. She doesn't want to get back in and then we never get going, KWIM?

I just want to warn/cation you about nursing while in a moving car. I've done and w/o knowing the risks. I know Sears advises this technique but w/o informing you of any risks. In an acident, there is the chance of crushing your child b/c of the position you must get yourself into. Also, not only is there a risk to your child, but since you must loosen the seat belt so you can get closer, you run the risk of harming yourself more than if you were belted properly. After learning about these dangers, I will not nurse while moving. I always pull over now. Also, I found that if I sit in back w/ her, she's more fussy, but if dad or someone esle is w/ her she's fine and will play happily. YK, I think it's because she knows that don't have the magic boobies!

As some comfort, as she gets older, it does get better. I love Sears quote about babies---Gestation is really 18 months. 9 months inside and 9 months outside. It seemed true w/ dd. Once she hit around 9 1/2 months she was much happier and easy going.

HTH.
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#8 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 08:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Many thanks for all the suggestions!

It's funny someone mentioned singing Yellow Submarine because Demetris' favorite song is Obla-di (sp?) by the Beatles. I've tried a pacifier and he doesn't like them. He does like my finger and that works sometimes. I'll try the car toy idea. He has also almost outgrown the infant car seat so maybe he will be more comfortable in a convertible one.

T

Laura - Are you in NYC area? I don't really know AP moms and wondering if there is a community out there? Thanks.
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#9 of 10 Old 03-23-2003, 09:30 PM
 
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Isabel,

I live in Brooklyn. There are quite a few NYC moms on MDC. We organized last year and met in Central Park. However, we have not established an ongoing meeting. It would be nice to get together again - especially with warm days ahead.

Just to let you know, Elizabeth Seton Childbearing Center (on 14th street between 7th and 8th ave - it's a short walk from the R train or there is a parking garage next door) has many groups for new moms. When my ds was a baby (he's 26 months now) I used to attend. There is one meeting held by Ellen Chuse (she's amazing) where she discusses a different topic each week - all related to being a new mom. And, there is also a breastfeeding support group.

~Laura
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#10 of 10 Old 03-25-2003, 01:56 AM
 
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yup acystay is 100% right, please don't nurse in a moving car. you and your baby could easily be killed in a crash.

not only should you pull over but also if you have a car with airbags don't nurse in front of an airbag when the car has been running in the last 30 minutes. if another car crashes into you--parking lot or on the side of the road--the airbag can deploy up to 30 minutes after shutting the car off. it takes that long for the built up air pressure to move out of the airbag system. so even if your car is shut off, sit in the backseat when pulled over to nurse so you avoid any airbag deployment. a baby can easily be killed when nursing in front of an airbag at the moment of deployment.

sorry to be such a downer. i love sears. i wish he would take that passage OUT of his book.
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