last night was awful and I'm dreading tonight - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 03-30-2003, 12:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Echo was completely night weaned all on her own until a few weeks ago when she started having nightmares and freaking out about the "ghost in her room" She's now back in the family bed, which is fine. And the baby only nurses 1-2 times/night which is great. But every time Echo wakes up (3-4x/night) she SCREAMS and if I'm not right there with a boob for her it becomes full blown hysteria which takes like 30 minutes to recover from.

Last night Saffron was nursing one of the times when Echo awoke and I found myself giving my hungry 4 month old a pacifier just so I could get Echo to SHUT UP! I was so angry with her and so guilty feeling at the same time. Then every time I tried to sneak to finish nursing Saffron, Echo would start all over again. Dh finally had to just take her downstairs and let her scream until Saffron had finished nursing. It was awful.

I know she's feeing jealous of the baby lately and I'm trying to give her the exta attention she needs, but I just can't handle the screaming. And she does it during the day instead of using her words too. I don't want to encourage that behavior, but what do I do when she's so upset and screaming? And I know I'm not as patient as usual because dh is having probs at work and my mom is in the hospital in VT and I can't even go see her.....

I just can't handle Echo hanging on me to nurse every 20 minutes lately. I find myself not even sitting down because I don't want her crying "boobies" Today I just told her that boobies were too tired and wouldn't work and we both cried.
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#2 of 6 Old 03-30-2003, 12:57 AM
 
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I don't have any advice just
Janie
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#3 of 6 Old 03-30-2003, 02:17 AM
 
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Sounds really rough, and I sympathize totally.

Here's the only advice I can offer: When I was pregnant with #3, I just had to nightwean #2, because it was just too difficult for me. My ds was, to say the least, not happy about that. My dh- for almost a month or two - would take him in the kitchen when he woke up at night, and feed him a bowl of cheerios. After calming him down, of course. Easier said than done, I know. But maybe you can enlist dh's help more?

Good luck.
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#4 of 6 Old 03-30-2003, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much for the support. Last night was a little better and dh and I have come up with a game plan. I'm going to sleep in the office on the futon with Saffron, and Dh will stay with Echo and get up with her if she wakes. We'll try it for a week and se if she night weans again. Then she will sleep on the other side of him in the family bed instead of between us. Wish us luck!
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#5 of 6 Old 03-30-2003, 03:26 PM
 
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I wanted to cry too reading your story. It was EXACTLY like that for us. I had the same feelings of anger then guilt. It is horible.

Hang in there - it does get easier. I did a lot of silent counting to myself to make time pass and ensure that I was consistent (boy, I"m a fast counter now!) eg "I'll count to 300 before I take her off, then if she cries, I'll hold her, but I know then she's had the same as last night" I also counted aloud for her so that she knew when the end was coming - even now she has 'to the count of ten' at bedtime. She often pops off before the ten is up to help me count now!

I gradually cut back the time - now we're at a count of eighty for our morning nurse, for another few weeks. This just helped me to keep sane, knowing that when I reached the number I'd set for myself, she'd go to dh and I could get the baby.

Just hang in, it will pass and things will get easier. The women here helped me stay sane at the time - even dh has no real idea how tough it was. You have to have tandem nursed and had these challenges to really understand how it feels.
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#6 of 6 Old 04-01-2003, 01:21 AM
 
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Sarah,

Boy, I feel for you. Big Hugs! My DD is 2.5 yrs old and very high needs, strong-willed, a nurse-aholic etc. Situations like yours are exactly why we haven't even tried to give our DD a sibling yet. I just don't know how we would do it. I'm 42 so you can imagine how strong we must feel about this since time is not on our side. My DH is in w/her now trying to help her fall asleep. He took over for me after an hour of rocking, singing, bouncing ball, etc. This is a fairly typical night for us. If we had a newborn, how in the world would that fit in? I think we'd have to bring a 2nd wife into our equation.
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