Now she wants to nurse????? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 03-31-2003, 07:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd age 8 and I did not have a successful nursing relationship. Many reasons, but ignorance, bad advice, a bad pump, working overtime and chaos in my head, in my heart and soul being amoung the top ten. My heart was broken. I felt like a failure for a long time. DD age 2 ( three in 15 days) still nurses. Suddenly dd age 8, wants to nurse. She asks almost every night. Any comments? Suggestions? TIA
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#2 of 7 Old 03-31-2003, 08:56 PM
 
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She probably just wants to know if she can. Once you tell her its ok she will probably not ask any more.

I just went thru this with my dd a few weeks ago and she hasn't asked any more
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#3 of 7 Old 04-02-2003, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Cindy for your reply!!!

Are you thinking I should just tell her to go ahead and nurse? She has not nursed since she was 4 months old. I am not slamming your advice, by any means, but I am not sure why I am uncomfortable with this. She is embarrassed by the wanting. I think part of my discomfort is that she is embarassed. Like she would not want any one else to know. Like she in confused if it would be sexual or not. That's how it feels when she asks, like she feels it is "forbidden" yet knows its not nasty or anything as Claire is still nursing.

although!!!! off topic!!!!

I have just realized she hasn't nursed in 2 or maybe even three days!!!!
Is this weaning????? They just stop???? Help... New thread....
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#4 of 7 Old 04-02-2003, 09:37 PM
 
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She probably won't even know how to nurse. I think its just becuase her sister is doing it.

Your 2 year old not nursing could be the strart of weaning, but she could just pick up again. I nursed my dd for over 5 years and we went through so many stages where I thought she might wean then didn't.
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#5 of 7 Old 04-05-2003, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to bump this back up to see if anyone else had anything they wanted to add. I would love some of your wisdom , oh extended breastfeeder womyn!!!
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#6 of 7 Old 04-06-2003, 12:12 AM
 
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carmen,

Could it be that she just wants the closeness that you and your younger one are experiencing? But not necc. nursing, since she seems embarassed by it. I know it is/was hard for my older one watching the younger one nurse, and even after my younger one weaned, we had a certain closeness because of it that I didn't really have with my older one (My youngest also co-slept, but older one didn't, and my younger one is naturally more cuddly, whereas my older one isn't, but I've realized that this doesn't necc. mean she doesn't want closeness, just doesn't know how to be close). They nursed 1.5 yrs and 2.5 yrs respectively. I had the same issue come up, but my older one was only 2 so it wasn't uncomfortable to tell her, "sure, if you want to". Not only did she not know how anymore, but she just touched her mouth to my breast and laughed and said, "I don't nurse anymore". It's like firemom said, she just wanted to know that she could if she wanted, and she really didn't want to.

I can understand that it would feel uncomfortable for you at age 8, but I wonder if there is some way that you could have alot of closeness, both physically and emotionally, other than nursing. I have really made an effort to do this with my older dd. Offer to let her sleep in my bed when dh is out of town, hold her, do special projects with her without her younger sister being involved, etc.

(This is written in a rather disjointed way, sorry.)

Alison
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#7 of 7 Old 04-07-2003, 09:56 AM
 
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You might want to read my answer to "stellar" in her post about being weaned and wanting to nurse again.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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