Hi. I'm posting for my sweet sister who had her baby one month early. I've helped her all I can, and she has seen two excellent lactation consultants. Her baby is one month old now, so he's at his due date, and he still can not latch on and stay on well enough to breastfeed.
She's exclusively pumping and he gets breast milk from a Habermann bottle and finger feeder. She's also tried a nipple shield which helps him latch, but when weighed before and after, he gets very little from the breast.
Her pediatrician said that 10% of babies just can't breastfeed, and she's getting discouraged (of course). It's so important to her to breastfeed, and she and her husband are doing all the AP things. She's worried about bonding, and she needs that oxytocin and loveliness of feeding your child naturally.
My heart is breaking for her, and I live too far away. Is it just a matter of time until he breastfeeds? Any one with a similar story? Thanks in advance.
i am sorry i don't have a personal experience to pass on, this must be really tough for your sister! the only thought i had was a SNS system rather then a bottle. more latching on and less bottle would only help his latch i think. going between bottle and breast may make things worse with his latch. plus the more stimulation her breasts are getting the better her production will be.
Is her baby right at the due date? I find that babies start latching and nursing better and better after their due date. I would really make sure she has plenty of support and encouragement and also to let her know that even if baby isn't getting much at the breast it is quality time spent there. It helps baby's jaw development, is very nurturing and is great for mom to have baby at breast. I also find that with premies it is much easier for them if mom's supply is really good. They are weak (in their cheek muscles) at first and with more milk there at the ready they seem to get it quicker. I have also seen premies take up to three months (past their due date) to really get breastfeeding and be exclusively nursing. Lots and lots of help and support will maximize her chances for success. Wishing her much love and success.
Wendi
Thanks for writing! She has a great supply, in fact, she's making twice as much as he takes and freezing it. She knows about the SNS, so I'll encourage her to try that. We just thought he would be on the breast by now.
He had no medical issues, never went to NICU and was released from the hospital on day 2. But she might be looking at 8 more weeks . . . well, as long as he's going to nurse eventually. Is it true that some babies actually don't?
My youngest was also a month early, we did pump and bottle feed untill she was 10 weeks old and was latching and sucking well enough to nurse full time. In most cases it just takes time and patience. A preemie's suck isn't as strong, their mouth not as big and they tire alot faster - even at there Due date they may well be a little behind. I was told by our Ped that even for a baby born at 35 weeks (with only a few breathing complications for the first few day) that to fully catch up to their peers it would take 6m to a year. There is alot of development goes on in those last few weeks - not so much as far as physically and medically. But there is ALOT developmentaly that, the gain in those last few weeks is amazing (I have two full term kids as well so I really noticed the difference)and that takes twice as long to gain this developement outside as in.
It is great that she is getting extra milk and able to freeze it - it may come in handy later on - I too pumped twice what my DD was taking - she was taking 25oz and I was pumping 50 so I have a freezer full and a baby that nurses just fine so I'm saving it for mixing with cereal later on.
She may find that there is a point where baby starts to become more alert - this is the time to really start pushing the BFing at the breast, It can be very frustrating especially if it is not what baby wants, but keep trying.
Eventually what we did (with the blessing and guidance and help) of our ped, a NP and LC.
I knew my DD could latch well and had a good suck but was just too lazy( - she preferd the bottle over me) One morning she had her morning bottle that I pumped then we went and had her wieghed - then we stoped the bottle - cold turkey, the feeds for that day where all from the breast, she faught it at first but then figured out that was where food was. We counted diapers that day and she was weighed the next morning at the same time - she had dropped 1/2 an ounce but we decided to try one more day(her diaper count had been ok - not as many as she had been having but ok) the next morning she was up 3 oz so we kept going. For the next two weeks we did weight checks every few days, counted diapers and nursed her as often as I could (10-12 times a day). After 3 weeks of no bottles she was gaining 4oz a week and staying on her growth curve.
She is still a small baby (12lb at 4months and double her lowest wt) and hopefully when I take her in on the 21st for her 6m checkup she will be 14lb although I would be happy if she hits 13.5 - thats double her birth wt. Her size may well be genetic though as her older sister didn't double till she was 9 months
She is a little behind her peers(actual age - not adjusted) as far as milestones but she is looking like she is going to have a big boom for me in the next few weeks.
Sorry for the essay but I hope that my story can help her.
I would try lots of skin-to-skin time. Wearing baby in the sling topless and nursing on demand can help. Does she have an LLL group nearby? The real-life adice, support and encouragment is helpful.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your experience will help her a lot. She so needs to hear that it can work out, and how to help it happen. It's her first baby, so it must be so hard to have the confidence.
Thanks for taking the time--and with 3 so close together!
I have a friend (really a friend of a friend so I haven't seen her in a while) In fact she is an AP mommy, maybe she posts here.
Anyway her DD was not able to nurse at 1st. She was very committed to breast feeding though and continued to pump. When the baby was 3 months old she latched on and nursed until she was over 2 years old (the day her baby sister came home from the hospital actually, mommies milk changed and she didn't care for it anymore.)
For every almost every store I hear of someone who stopped breast feeding, there is another who kept at it and was able to make it work.
Best of luck to her. Congrats on her son and she is doing a great thing in pumping for her baby. Don't be discouraged. She can make this work still.
Your welcome, if I can share my story and help then I gladly do so. It was a hard go, but it just makes nursing so much more bittersweet (I always loved nursing my babies - as of next week it will be 3 years and counting
Really, it is GREAT news that she is producing well and able to get milk out when she pumps. That right there is half of the battle! I'm positive that within a month, more or less, the baby will get enough strength to figure it out. I had to re-lactate with my baby. I tried everyday to get him to latch, but he would not have anything to do with it. Then after a month of that trying everyday, when I was about to give up, one morning he just latched right on! He did it a little more everyday after that until he was nursing full time again. It takes patience and determination, but there is a LOT of hope!! It will happen!
Thanks, Meg, Mary, Sunny and Tweety! I feel much better just knowing that it is possible. My sister has plenty of determination, so I know she will make it work. I'm passing on the suggestions.
Originally Posted by sunnysideup
I would try lots of skin-to-skin time. Wearing baby in the sling topless and nursing on demand can help. Does she have an LLL group nearby? The real-life advice, support and encouragment is helpful.
YES!! A sling & toplessness made early nursing days go so much smoother for me! Support groups are also very important- to know that she's not alone. Prayers and good thoughts go out to her. Patience will pay off in the end & she'll never be sorry for her efforts. Good luck!
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